Bad language warning.
ROMbot was sitting in the van waiting for the rain to ease up. He was kusoma the news while fiddling absently with a radio that had "Gone Funny" a few sekunde after he descovered he could fit his whole head in it.
"Can wewe stop doing that, please?"
ROMbot turned round so fast that he knocked the radio over with his arms.
"Oh," he said. "It's you."
"Hello. Don't mind me. Only been in this corner for 4 years."
Darren the depressed dispenser had been Kenny's third attempt to create a robot for himself. At this point, Chris had slapped his hands away from the computer and aliyopewa him a coloring book instead.
ROMbot picked up the radio again and heard a rattling sound. "Sorry," he said. "Hey, the bump must have jolted somthing. I wonder if..."
He fiddled around with it for a moment. Suddenly, it flickered to life.
"That was paul with the weather. This is [InsertRandomRadioStationNameHere] news, and now for a song. We'll be with wewe after the break!"
The radio broke again then, but nither of the robots noticed. All they heard was the scream.
"What was that?!"
"I know, it's terrible what they play on the radio these days."
ROMbot ignored Darren.
"It sounds like a cat being beaten up."
"So does your violin music," muttered Darren.
ROMbot was getting pretty fed up with darren at this point. "We need to find Chris." he said.
"Go out in that? Even I wouldn't want to die like that. Robots and water don't mix." Darren dragged himself across the room. "Still. At least we both have dead makers now."
"Yeah, what do wewe want, a badge?" ROMbot was getting argry at Darren now. "You're depressing. If wewe ever see your maker again, tell him to stick with bloody coloring."
"Why do I get the feeling nobody wants to be around me?" Depressed darren frowned.
"Oh, shut up. I wish it would stop raining, just so I don't have to spend another sekunde in here with you. You're a dispenser, alright. wewe dispense misery."
"Nice to be appreciated."
Chris groaned. He rolled over. It was bucketing down with rain, and Chris had a horrible Shakey tingling feeling in his spine that wewe get when you've been struck kwa lighting. He got up. Then he fell over backwards. He couldn't stand up. There was somthing wrong with his feet. He landed in a puddle. Turning over, he lifted himself up into a sitting position, only to be greeted with a horrible surprise. He stared at his reflection in the puddle. A mbwa mwitu stared back at him. It had red fur, like the color Chris's hair was. He lifted his hand. The mbwa mwitu lifted a paw. He reached out and noticed he didn't actualy HAVE a hand any more. He had a paw.
He realized what had happened and swore.
He tried to calm himself down.
He swore again.
He had a really big swear.
"No." he said. "No."
He tried to stand. The mbwa mwitu that was him tried to stand. He fell over backwards. Right into another puddle. He searched for his clothes. All he found was ash, his rucksack and all his things unharmed, apart from a photograph he'd been carrying of him and kenny. A mbwa mwitu stood where he had been before. The MotorGun was safe. Thank goodness. He began to relax. Then he was sick.
How had this happened? It was inpossible for living matter to transform in this way. au was it? His brain seemed to work differently now. He felt worried. What next, a sudden urge to howl at the moon? He got up, and after a few zaidi failed attempts to stand up decided to just walk on all fours from now on.
He was in a large valley. It stretched endlessly across the park. He could hear Mbwa mwitu loups howling. Not a good sign. He could be in their terrotory right now. It had stopped raining. Chris was carrying a tracker so that ROMbot could find him. He'd probably have to ditch it somwhere. ROMbot would think he'd eaten himself and taken the tracker. As he walked, the sun rose. It was a blisteringly hot day. Especialy if wewe had a thick fur, manyoya coat. It felt to Chris like he was wearing arctic gear. Chris could see Mbwa mwitu loups coming down the kilima now. He hoped they didn't see him. He remembered kusoma somthing in the news about this park. Apparently, the carabou population had proven to be much higher than the rangers had expected. They had resolved to start relocating Mbwa mwitu loups from elsewhere so that the jasper ones could hunt the carabou in peace.
Chris was argry. He was afraid. He was boiling. And he was hungry. Then suddenly, there was a horrible rumbling sound.
"Is that me?" it was hard to tell.
Then he saw them. Hundreds of them. Coming towards him. At first, he didn't beleave it, but then, he realized. There was a massive heard of carabou stampeding towards him. And there were no nearby exits. Chris hadn't really mastered running in his new mbwa mwitu body yet. But he didn't back down. He'd come to far.
He pulled the motorgun off his back, sitting down so his aim wasn't as shaky. He filled the clip with rocks, and aimed.
Chris wasn't sure how many of the carabou he killed, but it was enough. He felt a lump in his throat, and realized he'd been laughing so hard he'd swallowed him chewing gun. The MotorGun could take out a heard of carabou! It was amazing. "IT WORKS!" he yelled at a nearby cliff.
"Woah." someone said. "Those are skills, man!"
Chris turned round, aiming the motorgun at the small group of Mbwa mwitu loups that had been following him. "Hey," one said. "We're not gonna hurt you."
"What do wewe want from me?" Chris asked.
"Oh, we were sent here kwa the head alphas. We saw everything. They want to see you."
"Can they wait?"
"Nope."
Chris grudingly followed the omegas up the hill. Mbwa mwitu loups growled at him as he passed. He was an outsider, and in their opinion, his prescence was an insult. Finaly, they got to the top. There were actualy four leading Mbwa mwitu loups of this pack. Two alphas, and two omegas. It was incredibly easy to tell who was who's mate. They stuck to each other like glue.
"Humphrey! Garth! We got him!"
The grey mbwa mwitu and the red one came over.
"Hello." alisema Garth. "My name's Garth. wewe don't want to kuvuka, msalaba me."
"No." Chris agreed. "I don't. What did wewe bring me up here for?"
The gray one stepped forward. He offered his hand. "Name's Humphrey." he said. "We have a proposal for you."
"I'm listening."
"Well, we're always looking to take in strays. Not stupid ones. Clever ones, like you. The guys that are at the juu but never had anyone."
"So what's the proposal?"
"Well, if wewe can make zaidi things like that gun for us. We'll give wewe a home."
It seemed like a pretty good deal to Chris.
"Okay." he said.
Garth smiled. "Now," he said. "Are wewe an alpha au an omega?"
"Omega." Chris alisema quickly. Garth stared. "That values his own life." Chris added quickly.
"...age?"
"Fifteen."
"What?!"
"Joking, joking. Five."
Garth rolled his eyes.
"We can get wewe a pango in a couple of months. Until then, you'll have to share with Humphrey's friends." He pronounced the word "Friends" in a manner not unlike how someone would talk about a sewage water. Humphrey led him down near the bottom of the hill. "Hey!" he yelled. "Guys! We have a new pack member!"
That was the first time Chris saw Mooch and Saltey. They were in the middle of shouting at Shakey for being vegetarian when they entered. It took Chris's eyes a while to adjust. Humphrey introduced everybody to Chris. "I don't like long goodbyes, so.." he ran off.
Chris rolled his eyes. The two other Mbwa mwitu loups paid no attention to him. They went back to yelling at Shakey.
"Everyone knows you're only doing it for those WEIRD girls."
"They're not weird! They're clever! It's a good idea!"
"It's NOT a good idea! Some Mbwa mwitu loups are actualy allergic! We're not meant to eat chakula like that!"
"You're just insane. Like all the other meat eaters."
"If wewe think that, why don't wewe just go? Kate chokes on the smell of your stupid berries every time she comes in here!"
"I will, then! If anyone wants me, i'll be at Jasmine's den."
He left.
"What was that?" Chris asked.
"That was nothing." Mooch said.
"Looked like somthing to me." Chris argued.
"Oh, what are wewe going to do, tell an alpha that we bullied the vegetarians? Ha! wewe know long we've had to put up with him? 4 months."
"He wears flowers around his neck." Mooch added.
"Calm down. I'm not going to tell anybody. I'd rather eat shit than fruit."
"That's worse!"
Chris gave him a wary look. They laughed.
"Honestly." Mooch said. "First, Humphrey, and now Shakey. Girls are dangerous."
They laughed again. "So, chris. What do wewe like doing?"
"I like to build things. wewe see this gun? The one I took down the heard with? I built it."
"Wow." Mooch said. "You're clever."
"Mmm. Never really gave that any thought. Humphrey used to live here, wewe say?"
"Yes. He invented logboarding. The sport that all the alphas play. He wins every year. We always go on his team. Well, one of us. wewe see, humphrey got himself a girl."
"Hmm?"
"Oh, don't talk to him about HER. He's only new." Saltey said.
"What's SHE done to annoy you?"
"What's SHE done to annoy us?! Ha ha! That's a good one, eh shaky?"
Saltey put on a high pitched voice. "Wash your paws, Mooch! This place smells like berries! Don't slouch, wewe two! Leave those squirrels alone, Mooch! And Saltey, let go of Shakey's-"
"Saltey!" Mooch said. "If she hears us, we'll be in the pit for a month!"
"Humphrey wouldn't let her do that."
"She'll convince him."
"At least SHE never got her mother involved."
"Who?" Chris intrupted. "Kate?"
"Yes. Kate. Humphrey's mate."
"We saw them snogging." Saltey said. "At the wedding. What happened to pride?"
"She fell in upendo with an omega! She'll never think about pride again!" Chris adjusted the motorgun. "You know, I think wewe guys are just jelous. And it's a perfectly okay feeling, but don't curse them behind their backs. All they want is each other's love. To them, you're just those guys now. wewe should get yourselves some girls."
"Yeah, then mabye the moon will turn blue." Saltey muttered. "Everyone in this pango has somthing in common. We can't pull, au never have. Usualy both."
"It't probably because they don't apreciate your AMAZING chat up line." Mooch said. He put on a hungry face. "Hey." he said. Everyone laughed. "Yeah," Chris said. "That'll bowl em' over."
ROMbot was sitting in the van waiting for the rain to ease up. He was kusoma the news while fiddling absently with a radio that had "Gone Funny" a few sekunde after he descovered he could fit his whole head in it.
"Can wewe stop doing that, please?"
ROMbot turned round so fast that he knocked the radio over with his arms.
"Oh," he said. "It's you."
"Hello. Don't mind me. Only been in this corner for 4 years."
Darren the depressed dispenser had been Kenny's third attempt to create a robot for himself. At this point, Chris had slapped his hands away from the computer and aliyopewa him a coloring book instead.
ROMbot picked up the radio again and heard a rattling sound. "Sorry," he said. "Hey, the bump must have jolted somthing. I wonder if..."
He fiddled around with it for a moment. Suddenly, it flickered to life.
"That was paul with the weather. This is [InsertRandomRadioStationNameHere] news, and now for a song. We'll be with wewe after the break!"
The radio broke again then, but nither of the robots noticed. All they heard was the scream.
"What was that?!"
"I know, it's terrible what they play on the radio these days."
ROMbot ignored Darren.
"It sounds like a cat being beaten up."
"So does your violin music," muttered Darren.
ROMbot was getting pretty fed up with darren at this point. "We need to find Chris." he said.
"Go out in that? Even I wouldn't want to die like that. Robots and water don't mix." Darren dragged himself across the room. "Still. At least we both have dead makers now."
"Yeah, what do wewe want, a badge?" ROMbot was getting argry at Darren now. "You're depressing. If wewe ever see your maker again, tell him to stick with bloody coloring."
"Why do I get the feeling nobody wants to be around me?" Depressed darren frowned.
"Oh, shut up. I wish it would stop raining, just so I don't have to spend another sekunde in here with you. You're a dispenser, alright. wewe dispense misery."
"Nice to be appreciated."
Chris groaned. He rolled over. It was bucketing down with rain, and Chris had a horrible Shakey tingling feeling in his spine that wewe get when you've been struck kwa lighting. He got up. Then he fell over backwards. He couldn't stand up. There was somthing wrong with his feet. He landed in a puddle. Turning over, he lifted himself up into a sitting position, only to be greeted with a horrible surprise. He stared at his reflection in the puddle. A mbwa mwitu stared back at him. It had red fur, like the color Chris's hair was. He lifted his hand. The mbwa mwitu lifted a paw. He reached out and noticed he didn't actualy HAVE a hand any more. He had a paw.
He realized what had happened and swore.
He tried to calm himself down.
He swore again.
He had a really big swear.
"No." he said. "No."
He tried to stand. The mbwa mwitu that was him tried to stand. He fell over backwards. Right into another puddle. He searched for his clothes. All he found was ash, his rucksack and all his things unharmed, apart from a photograph he'd been carrying of him and kenny. A mbwa mwitu stood where he had been before. The MotorGun was safe. Thank goodness. He began to relax. Then he was sick.
How had this happened? It was inpossible for living matter to transform in this way. au was it? His brain seemed to work differently now. He felt worried. What next, a sudden urge to howl at the moon? He got up, and after a few zaidi failed attempts to stand up decided to just walk on all fours from now on.
He was in a large valley. It stretched endlessly across the park. He could hear Mbwa mwitu loups howling. Not a good sign. He could be in their terrotory right now. It had stopped raining. Chris was carrying a tracker so that ROMbot could find him. He'd probably have to ditch it somwhere. ROMbot would think he'd eaten himself and taken the tracker. As he walked, the sun rose. It was a blisteringly hot day. Especialy if wewe had a thick fur, manyoya coat. It felt to Chris like he was wearing arctic gear. Chris could see Mbwa mwitu loups coming down the kilima now. He hoped they didn't see him. He remembered kusoma somthing in the news about this park. Apparently, the carabou population had proven to be much higher than the rangers had expected. They had resolved to start relocating Mbwa mwitu loups from elsewhere so that the jasper ones could hunt the carabou in peace.
Chris was argry. He was afraid. He was boiling. And he was hungry. Then suddenly, there was a horrible rumbling sound.
"Is that me?" it was hard to tell.
Then he saw them. Hundreds of them. Coming towards him. At first, he didn't beleave it, but then, he realized. There was a massive heard of carabou stampeding towards him. And there were no nearby exits. Chris hadn't really mastered running in his new mbwa mwitu body yet. But he didn't back down. He'd come to far.
He pulled the motorgun off his back, sitting down so his aim wasn't as shaky. He filled the clip with rocks, and aimed.
Chris wasn't sure how many of the carabou he killed, but it was enough. He felt a lump in his throat, and realized he'd been laughing so hard he'd swallowed him chewing gun. The MotorGun could take out a heard of carabou! It was amazing. "IT WORKS!" he yelled at a nearby cliff.
"Woah." someone said. "Those are skills, man!"
Chris turned round, aiming the motorgun at the small group of Mbwa mwitu loups that had been following him. "Hey," one said. "We're not gonna hurt you."
"What do wewe want from me?" Chris asked.
"Oh, we were sent here kwa the head alphas. We saw everything. They want to see you."
"Can they wait?"
"Nope."
Chris grudingly followed the omegas up the hill. Mbwa mwitu loups growled at him as he passed. He was an outsider, and in their opinion, his prescence was an insult. Finaly, they got to the top. There were actualy four leading Mbwa mwitu loups of this pack. Two alphas, and two omegas. It was incredibly easy to tell who was who's mate. They stuck to each other like glue.
"Humphrey! Garth! We got him!"
The grey mbwa mwitu and the red one came over.
"Hello." alisema Garth. "My name's Garth. wewe don't want to kuvuka, msalaba me."
"No." Chris agreed. "I don't. What did wewe bring me up here for?"
The gray one stepped forward. He offered his hand. "Name's Humphrey." he said. "We have a proposal for you."
"I'm listening."
"Well, we're always looking to take in strays. Not stupid ones. Clever ones, like you. The guys that are at the juu but never had anyone."
"So what's the proposal?"
"Well, if wewe can make zaidi things like that gun for us. We'll give wewe a home."
It seemed like a pretty good deal to Chris.
"Okay." he said.
Garth smiled. "Now," he said. "Are wewe an alpha au an omega?"
"Omega." Chris alisema quickly. Garth stared. "That values his own life." Chris added quickly.
"...age?"
"Fifteen."
"What?!"
"Joking, joking. Five."
Garth rolled his eyes.
"We can get wewe a pango in a couple of months. Until then, you'll have to share with Humphrey's friends." He pronounced the word "Friends" in a manner not unlike how someone would talk about a sewage water. Humphrey led him down near the bottom of the hill. "Hey!" he yelled. "Guys! We have a new pack member!"
That was the first time Chris saw Mooch and Saltey. They were in the middle of shouting at Shakey for being vegetarian when they entered. It took Chris's eyes a while to adjust. Humphrey introduced everybody to Chris. "I don't like long goodbyes, so.." he ran off.
Chris rolled his eyes. The two other Mbwa mwitu loups paid no attention to him. They went back to yelling at Shakey.
"Everyone knows you're only doing it for those WEIRD girls."
"They're not weird! They're clever! It's a good idea!"
"It's NOT a good idea! Some Mbwa mwitu loups are actualy allergic! We're not meant to eat chakula like that!"
"You're just insane. Like all the other meat eaters."
"If wewe think that, why don't wewe just go? Kate chokes on the smell of your stupid berries every time she comes in here!"
"I will, then! If anyone wants me, i'll be at Jasmine's den."
He left.
"What was that?" Chris asked.
"That was nothing." Mooch said.
"Looked like somthing to me." Chris argued.
"Oh, what are wewe going to do, tell an alpha that we bullied the vegetarians? Ha! wewe know long we've had to put up with him? 4 months."
"He wears flowers around his neck." Mooch added.
"Calm down. I'm not going to tell anybody. I'd rather eat shit than fruit."
"That's worse!"
Chris gave him a wary look. They laughed.
"Honestly." Mooch said. "First, Humphrey, and now Shakey. Girls are dangerous."
They laughed again. "So, chris. What do wewe like doing?"
"I like to build things. wewe see this gun? The one I took down the heard with? I built it."
"Wow." Mooch said. "You're clever."
"Mmm. Never really gave that any thought. Humphrey used to live here, wewe say?"
"Yes. He invented logboarding. The sport that all the alphas play. He wins every year. We always go on his team. Well, one of us. wewe see, humphrey got himself a girl."
"Hmm?"
"Oh, don't talk to him about HER. He's only new." Saltey said.
"What's SHE done to annoy you?"
"What's SHE done to annoy us?! Ha ha! That's a good one, eh shaky?"
Saltey put on a high pitched voice. "Wash your paws, Mooch! This place smells like berries! Don't slouch, wewe two! Leave those squirrels alone, Mooch! And Saltey, let go of Shakey's-"
"Saltey!" Mooch said. "If she hears us, we'll be in the pit for a month!"
"Humphrey wouldn't let her do that."
"She'll convince him."
"At least SHE never got her mother involved."
"Who?" Chris intrupted. "Kate?"
"Yes. Kate. Humphrey's mate."
"We saw them snogging." Saltey said. "At the wedding. What happened to pride?"
"She fell in upendo with an omega! She'll never think about pride again!" Chris adjusted the motorgun. "You know, I think wewe guys are just jelous. And it's a perfectly okay feeling, but don't curse them behind their backs. All they want is each other's love. To them, you're just those guys now. wewe should get yourselves some girls."
"Yeah, then mabye the moon will turn blue." Saltey muttered. "Everyone in this pango has somthing in common. We can't pull, au never have. Usualy both."
"It't probably because they don't apreciate your AMAZING chat up line." Mooch said. He put on a hungry face. "Hey." he said. Everyone laughed. "Yeah," Chris said. "That'll bowl em' over."
