'Bates Motel' recap: 'The Convergence of the Twain' 

Norma and Norman Bates, first-place winner of Motherboy’s “Most Lethal Couple” award for five seasons running, have tried and tried to create a world where nobody else exists. They have moved away from family members without telling them; they’ve ended marriages and alienated just about anyone who’s tried to befriend them. There’s also that thing where Norman and the version of his Mother that lives inside him have straight-up

a whole bunch of people who threatened to divide mother and son in any way. And in his final, most desperate attempt, Norman killed his mother and then resurrected her in his mind, along with the narrative that she faked her own death in order to devote herself entirely to him.

And even after all that, it’s still not going very well. Because you can’t murder your mom and eat cake with her too… or something like that.

Population count of White Pine Bay be damned, the Bates Motel audience has always benefited from this construct, because the series is at its best any time Norma and Norman — and Vera and Freddie — are sharing the screen. Though I’ve come to trust this wacky show completely, there was a bit of fear going into its fifth and final season that it simply couldn’t be as good with Norma Bates’ electric character being limited to what her son’s psyche would allow of her. And I can admit that with Mother not making her first appearance until about a third of the way into Monday’s hour, the overall appeal of the episode suffered a bit… but the series as a whole is better for it.

Because there is no living world where Norma and Norma can exist without interference. And this episode, with its focus on characters like Chick, Caleb, and Alex Romero, is a reminder of that. Yes, I impulsively curse just about any time Caleb lumbers onscreen, but then I remember what someone like Caleb means: accountability. Dousing Norman and Mother with the reality they’ve tried so mightily to avoid isn’t the most fun thing

to do tell a well-rounded story of Norman Bates, the life he’s led, and the future that’s been laid out for him by Alfred Hitchcock. You can run from reality, but you can’t hide from it — even in a wig.

Which is not to say that Norman doesn’t want the outside world himself sometimes. He spends the front half of Monday’s episode away from the Bates property, first dealing with a little business: the fact that former Sheriff Romero is actively trying to have him killed. Norman drives himself over to Romero’s prison for a little sit-down, and damn if he doesn’t make it almost the whole way through without looking scared s—less of his former stepfather and his former stepfather’s bulging muscles-that-prison-rage-built. With his most confident petulance, Norman tells Romero it was “really kind of you to send your friend to see how I’d been getting along — but as you can see, I’m quite all right.”

And knowing Norman, it’s probably not too difficult for Romero to figure out what happened to his hit man, but he’s no less determined. As Norman, who’s mostly been in control of this conversation, gets up to leave, Romero grabs him back: “I’m coming for you when you least expect it, so don’t get too cozy up at that house by yourself.”

But as we know, Norman doesn’t live at that house by himself. Mother lives there too, and when Norman arrives back home, he looks at the house like there’s something he can’t face up there just yet. Especially considering there’s some

he’d much rather face in the village: Madeline Loomis. Norman casually strolls into the coffee shop across from her hardware store and casually sits down to watch her from behind a newspaper like any

, not-creepy man would. And Madeline, fully under the Norman spell, hops right on over to say hi when she spots him, after a fantastic sequence through the coffee shop window showcases just how much Madeline resembles Norma.

Her intentions couldn’t be further from Norma’s, though: Madeline wants to set Norman up with her cute web designer. Norman says he “doesn’t do that kind of thing” (boy does he ever

) until Madeline mentions that it would be a double date with her, and then he’s all about it. Of course, on that double date will also be Madeline’s husband, and of course, as many of us figured out last week, Madeline’s husband is Sam Loomis of

origins, and Sam Loomis is last week’s “David Davidson,” of 

Can I have sex with this woman for a few hours in your hotel 

Even though it’s lighter on the usual Norma hijinks, there’s actually a lot of humor in this episode, and a great deal of it comes from watching Norman try to flirt with women and square off with men. Both of those combine in this scene to tremendous effect as Norman switches from having a lovely time with Madeline to being introduced to her two-timing husband: “Nice to meet you Sam

.” With a sweet smile directed at Madeline and an aggressive pop of his coat collar directed at Sam, Norman bids farewell to the surely doomed couple with plans for their surely doomed double date that night.

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