#1:
AVGN: wewe know what's really weird? That this game was actually capable of a 4-player mode using an accessory that allows four controllers to be connected to your Nintendo Entertainment System? Now, I can't imagine having four people playing this game. Who's gonna want to play this piece of shit? I'm lucky if I can get one other person! I have a better chance of cloning myself. (four Angry Video Game Nerds play and curse at the same time)
AVGN 1: Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait. I just cloned myself. I'm in a dream, I can do whatever I want, so why don't we all just stop playing this fucking game? So, the hell with that shit!
AVGN 2: Yeah! The hell with that... damn shit!
AVGN 3: The hell with that damn... fucking shit!
AVGN 4: THE HELL WITH THAT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT!
AVGN 3: (nervously) Relax.
#2:
AVGN: (being forced kwa Jason Voorhees to make POSITIVE review of a really bad Friday the 13th game) What a wonderful game! The bare basics of left and right do not apply. And that's why this game is so great because it's free from all logic. Logic is for pussies!... Oh, and every great game has a map screen, and being that the game is mostly side scrolling, wewe can't tell which direction you're supposed to be going. But, that's cool. It's cool. It makes it zaidi challenging. I like that. Like when you're walking left but really heading to the right on the map? I upendo figuring that shit out. ...I upendo it. ... It's just great. (sees if Jason is there, and seeing he isn't speaks how he REALLY feels) LIKE PUKE UP A DONKEY'S ASS! WHAT A SHITLOAD OF MOTHERFUCKING BULLFUCK! I mean I'd rather eat snot and diarrhea vomited out of a buffalo's dick, and if wewe thought I was serious about this game -- [ Jason Voorhees comes out and grabs AVGN kwa the throat and threatens him with a machete) -- you're absolutely right because I was just kidding! I was just kidding! I swear! I swear to God, I was just kidding! I was just kidding!! It's not a shitload of fuck! It's NOT a shitload of fuck! (Jason lets AVGN go and leaves)
#3:
AVGN: This game is so hard, it would actually be easier to go outside in a thunderstorm and try to dodge rain. It would be easier to walk barefoot without your toes au heels touching the floor. It would be easier to pick fly shit out of pepper, while wearing boxing gloves! The fact that wewe can get hit only once pretty much means that you're weaker than every other enemy in the game. HOW DO wewe DIE FROM JUST TOUCHING A WALL!? I can understand if he's flying it like 200 miles per saa and he crashes into the wall! But the fact that he just touches the ukuta and dies is just ridiculous. I never read any of the comics, so I don't know what Silver Surfer's powers are, but isn't he supposed to be pretty strong? So why'd they make him into a wimp!? Why is he fucking up rubber ducks and weeping like a crybaby!? It's like some sort of fucking joke. Like, what if they had Bruce Lee tripping over his own shoelaces? It's a fucking insult! This game should have been classic! But instead, it's worthless! It's as worthless as this fucking LJN poster I have back here! MAN, I WOULD JUST PISS AND SHIT ALL OVER THIS FUCKING GAME!!! IN FACT, JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HAVING AN ANAL EVACUATION!!! (drinks beer) Fuck! (Takes the game out of the NES and throws it at the wall).
#4:
AVGN: Somewhere up here, there's a rope which, I don't know if it's important au not. wewe blow up this gym locker au whatever it is and he says, "I'd have to be desperate to tie that on and jump off! No, thanks!" Are wewe kidding me? Have wewe ever had a video game character talk back to wewe and say, "No, I'm not gonna do that!"? Going back to Mario again, what if Mario just alisema "You know, I'm really not feeling up to jumping over that platform. No thanks." This is ridiculous. I mean, he won't climb down with a rope, but he'll jump out a window and fucking kill himself?!
#5:
AVGN: So, when the game's over, the screen goes black, like a Mortal Kombat fatality. And the girl kicks wewe in the butt. How violent, she kicks wewe in the rear. Now I can take bodies getting slashed apart with the chainsaw, but a kick in the ass? That's fucking hardcore. Fuck this game. What a piece of shit.
#6:
AVGN: Some call it a platformer game, some call it an adventure game. I classify it as a "Where the fuck do I go?" kind of game. Yeah, one of those.
#7:
AVGN: It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's a shitty game!
#8:
AVGN: (after finishing the car-carrying stage 4) So I get to the goal, and guess what's next? Seriously, I want wewe to just take a guess what comes after this. zaidi rings. Yeah. What kind of game is this!? Is this some sort of insanity test!? Well, I'm done. I'm sorry, but that's all I can do. This game doesn't even qualify as shit! It's like the equivalent of shit taking a shit! This is unspeakably, shockingly bad. It's sickeningly loathsome! It's a fucking suffering to the mind! It's a bunch of fuck and it doesn't belong on this planet! Somebody's gotta take care of it! This is a job for the fucking Nerd! (unbuttons his shati to reveal a blue Superman shirt. Flies up to the sun and tosses the game into into it while a rock version of Superman Theme plays.)
#9:
AVGN: wewe know, there's been many games based on the Angry Video Game Nerd... which is me. Yeah, all these years while I've been busy playing shitty games, people've been making games about myself. There's been so many games about me, I can't even keep up. Unlike the majority of games I've ripped apart, these ones were made kwa independent game developers, usually single handedly, all kwa their selves, and hopefully they will have growing careers and aspire to make better games than a whole company of Laughin' Joking Numbnuts ever could. (He's referring to the game publisher, LJN.) Another thing that makes these games different from the games I usually play, is that I have to play them on a computer. (The Nerd looks at the Commodore 64.) Hmm... (He shrugs his shoulders.) Well, anyway, the first AVGN game I'm gonna look at is: The Angry Video Game kwa Eric Ruth. This was the first AVGN game that ever came to my attention back in 2008. wewe might be wondering: what took me so long to get around to it? Well, the answer is simple: That's how long it took to load it on my Commodore 64!
#10:
AVGN: (Commenting on the game over screen) That's ingenious. That's the best game over screen I ever saw. For real! I'm actually being dead serious. Dead fucking serious. That's brilliant, right? "You and your Marafiki are dead. Game over". It's priceless. Like, I can't believe it! Isn't that a mean thing to say to kids? Nobody ever dies in Nintendo. They're either "defeated" au they turn into an item and like float away. But here comes a game like Friday the 13th that just cuts the bullshit, shows some balls, comes flat out and says "You're fucking dead. And your friends, too." Beautiful. (Jason nods in agreement) And what if there was a sequel? It would have to say something even worse. Like, I got it. I got a good idea what it should say. It should say:
You're Dead.
Your Marafiki Are Dead.
Your Family's Dead.
Your Fucking Pets Are Being Skinned Alive.
Your Mom's A Fucking Whore.
wewe Suck At Life.
The Whole World Hates You.
You're Going To Hell.
Live With It.
Game Over.
AVGN: wewe know what's really weird? That this game was actually capable of a 4-player mode using an accessory that allows four controllers to be connected to your Nintendo Entertainment System? Now, I can't imagine having four people playing this game. Who's gonna want to play this piece of shit? I'm lucky if I can get one other person! I have a better chance of cloning myself. (four Angry Video Game Nerds play and curse at the same time)
AVGN 1: Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait. I just cloned myself. I'm in a dream, I can do whatever I want, so why don't we all just stop playing this fucking game? So, the hell with that shit!
AVGN 2: Yeah! The hell with that... damn shit!
AVGN 3: The hell with that damn... fucking shit!
AVGN 4: THE HELL WITH THAT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT!
AVGN 3: (nervously) Relax.
#2:
AVGN: (being forced kwa Jason Voorhees to make POSITIVE review of a really bad Friday the 13th game) What a wonderful game! The bare basics of left and right do not apply. And that's why this game is so great because it's free from all logic. Logic is for pussies!... Oh, and every great game has a map screen, and being that the game is mostly side scrolling, wewe can't tell which direction you're supposed to be going. But, that's cool. It's cool. It makes it zaidi challenging. I like that. Like when you're walking left but really heading to the right on the map? I upendo figuring that shit out. ...I upendo it. ... It's just great. (sees if Jason is there, and seeing he isn't speaks how he REALLY feels) LIKE PUKE UP A DONKEY'S ASS! WHAT A SHITLOAD OF MOTHERFUCKING BULLFUCK! I mean I'd rather eat snot and diarrhea vomited out of a buffalo's dick, and if wewe thought I was serious about this game -- [ Jason Voorhees comes out and grabs AVGN kwa the throat and threatens him with a machete) -- you're absolutely right because I was just kidding! I was just kidding! I swear! I swear to God, I was just kidding! I was just kidding!! It's not a shitload of fuck! It's NOT a shitload of fuck! (Jason lets AVGN go and leaves)
#3:
AVGN: This game is so hard, it would actually be easier to go outside in a thunderstorm and try to dodge rain. It would be easier to walk barefoot without your toes au heels touching the floor. It would be easier to pick fly shit out of pepper, while wearing boxing gloves! The fact that wewe can get hit only once pretty much means that you're weaker than every other enemy in the game. HOW DO wewe DIE FROM JUST TOUCHING A WALL!? I can understand if he's flying it like 200 miles per saa and he crashes into the wall! But the fact that he just touches the ukuta and dies is just ridiculous. I never read any of the comics, so I don't know what Silver Surfer's powers are, but isn't he supposed to be pretty strong? So why'd they make him into a wimp!? Why is he fucking up rubber ducks and weeping like a crybaby!? It's like some sort of fucking joke. Like, what if they had Bruce Lee tripping over his own shoelaces? It's a fucking insult! This game should have been classic! But instead, it's worthless! It's as worthless as this fucking LJN poster I have back here! MAN, I WOULD JUST PISS AND SHIT ALL OVER THIS FUCKING GAME!!! IN FACT, JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HAVING AN ANAL EVACUATION!!! (drinks beer) Fuck! (Takes the game out of the NES and throws it at the wall).
#4:
AVGN: Somewhere up here, there's a rope which, I don't know if it's important au not. wewe blow up this gym locker au whatever it is and he says, "I'd have to be desperate to tie that on and jump off! No, thanks!" Are wewe kidding me? Have wewe ever had a video game character talk back to wewe and say, "No, I'm not gonna do that!"? Going back to Mario again, what if Mario just alisema "You know, I'm really not feeling up to jumping over that platform. No thanks." This is ridiculous. I mean, he won't climb down with a rope, but he'll jump out a window and fucking kill himself?!
#5:
AVGN: So, when the game's over, the screen goes black, like a Mortal Kombat fatality. And the girl kicks wewe in the butt. How violent, she kicks wewe in the rear. Now I can take bodies getting slashed apart with the chainsaw, but a kick in the ass? That's fucking hardcore. Fuck this game. What a piece of shit.
#6:
AVGN: Some call it a platformer game, some call it an adventure game. I classify it as a "Where the fuck do I go?" kind of game. Yeah, one of those.
#7:
AVGN: It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's a shitty game!
#8:
AVGN: (after finishing the car-carrying stage 4) So I get to the goal, and guess what's next? Seriously, I want wewe to just take a guess what comes after this. zaidi rings. Yeah. What kind of game is this!? Is this some sort of insanity test!? Well, I'm done. I'm sorry, but that's all I can do. This game doesn't even qualify as shit! It's like the equivalent of shit taking a shit! This is unspeakably, shockingly bad. It's sickeningly loathsome! It's a fucking suffering to the mind! It's a bunch of fuck and it doesn't belong on this planet! Somebody's gotta take care of it! This is a job for the fucking Nerd! (unbuttons his shati to reveal a blue Superman shirt. Flies up to the sun and tosses the game into into it while a rock version of Superman Theme plays.)
#9:
AVGN: wewe know, there's been many games based on the Angry Video Game Nerd... which is me. Yeah, all these years while I've been busy playing shitty games, people've been making games about myself. There's been so many games about me, I can't even keep up. Unlike the majority of games I've ripped apart, these ones were made kwa independent game developers, usually single handedly, all kwa their selves, and hopefully they will have growing careers and aspire to make better games than a whole company of Laughin' Joking Numbnuts ever could. (He's referring to the game publisher, LJN.) Another thing that makes these games different from the games I usually play, is that I have to play them on a computer. (The Nerd looks at the Commodore 64.) Hmm... (He shrugs his shoulders.) Well, anyway, the first AVGN game I'm gonna look at is: The Angry Video Game kwa Eric Ruth. This was the first AVGN game that ever came to my attention back in 2008. wewe might be wondering: what took me so long to get around to it? Well, the answer is simple: That's how long it took to load it on my Commodore 64!
#10:
AVGN: (Commenting on the game over screen) That's ingenious. That's the best game over screen I ever saw. For real! I'm actually being dead serious. Dead fucking serious. That's brilliant, right? "You and your Marafiki are dead. Game over". It's priceless. Like, I can't believe it! Isn't that a mean thing to say to kids? Nobody ever dies in Nintendo. They're either "defeated" au they turn into an item and like float away. But here comes a game like Friday the 13th that just cuts the bullshit, shows some balls, comes flat out and says "You're fucking dead. And your friends, too." Beautiful. (Jason nods in agreement) And what if there was a sequel? It would have to say something even worse. Like, I got it. I got a good idea what it should say. It should say:
You're Dead.
Your Marafiki Are Dead.
Your Family's Dead.
Your Fucking Pets Are Being Skinned Alive.
Your Mom's A Fucking Whore.
wewe Suck At Life.
The Whole World Hates You.
You're Going To Hell.
Live With It.
Game Over.
I missed my chance.. I'm always one mwaka behind in this show.. But now that their inaonyesha every episode in order, to prepare for the new season 7, so I'm getting my chance.
I'm so excited, especially cause it has Steven Ogg in it now. (AKA, this guy).
It's pretty easy to say that Grand Theft Auto did a lot for this guy, cause now just about everyone knows who he is.
It's weird how he always protrays nutcase's like Trevor, when the real Steve Ogg is such a nice guy from what I can tell.
But still, the guy that portrayed Trevor Phillips.
How can that NOT be awesome for the dark, violent, nature of a onyesha like Walking Dead?
Where, even someone as kind hearted as Rick Grimes has murdered people in cold blood, in newer seasons he doesn't even feel remorse anymore.
But, yeah.. Steve Ogg.. I'm excited :)
I'm so excited, especially cause it has Steven Ogg in it now. (AKA, this guy).
It's pretty easy to say that Grand Theft Auto did a lot for this guy, cause now just about everyone knows who he is.
It's weird how he always protrays nutcase's like Trevor, when the real Steve Ogg is such a nice guy from what I can tell.
But still, the guy that portrayed Trevor Phillips.
How can that NOT be awesome for the dark, violent, nature of a onyesha like Walking Dead?
Where, even someone as kind hearted as Rick Grimes has murdered people in cold blood, in newer seasons he doesn't even feel remorse anymore.
But, yeah.. Steve Ogg.. I'm excited :)
It's near October.. Decided to rewatch Hellsing Ultimate..
I am well aware there is another Hellsing, but this one is all I really need..
Too be honest, I never before realized actually how fucking SCARY this shit is..
Guess the Japanese know what horror REALLY is.
It's nor lazy jump scares every five minuetes, despite most modern horror sinema claiming it to be so..
No.
The truth of it is, all that scary imagery in Hellsing, is FAR zaidi effective.
Even Yan Valentine is friggin scary, I looked at him a different way this time.
Plus Hellsing has two of my favourite cliche's..
* All the shadowy figures with glowing eyes..
* The constant evil laughs..
I'm watched the first 4, have quite a ways to go..
Though it seems to drain a lot of my computer battery, so I should keep my charger close..
Anyway..
Till inayofuata time.. I'll give another makala after watching the rest of the show.. I guess..
I am well aware there is another Hellsing, but this one is all I really need..
Too be honest, I never before realized actually how fucking SCARY this shit is..
Guess the Japanese know what horror REALLY is.
It's nor lazy jump scares every five minuetes, despite most modern horror sinema claiming it to be so..
No.
The truth of it is, all that scary imagery in Hellsing, is FAR zaidi effective.
Even Yan Valentine is friggin scary, I looked at him a different way this time.
Plus Hellsing has two of my favourite cliche's..
* All the shadowy figures with glowing eyes..
* The constant evil laughs..
I'm watched the first 4, have quite a ways to go..
Though it seems to drain a lot of my computer battery, so I should keep my charger close..
Anyway..
Till inayofuata time.. I'll give another makala after watching the rest of the show.. I guess..
It's funny..
In 2003 I guess I was STILL uandishi fanfiction. That story that's on my Fictionpress page, named HORROR OF WAR, that is CORRECT in saying it's the based on the first full story I EVER wrote (only it's been edited with what I know now about proper editing and details).
Is secretly a fanfiction about CALL OF DUTY Partially, Sgt Eric Rocks was based on Sgt Frank Mcullin from the game, both characters die, both tragically.
I guess my character Sgt Tomboy was based on Mike Dixon.. But I don't remember too well.
Either way. It's funny how I got from THAT. (crappy grammer, and poor details), to what I am now..
Guess I owe Call of Duty 3 a bit of a thank wewe :)
In 2003 I guess I was STILL uandishi fanfiction. That story that's on my Fictionpress page, named HORROR OF WAR, that is CORRECT in saying it's the based on the first full story I EVER wrote (only it's been edited with what I know now about proper editing and details).
Is secretly a fanfiction about CALL OF DUTY Partially, Sgt Eric Rocks was based on Sgt Frank Mcullin from the game, both characters die, both tragically.
I guess my character Sgt Tomboy was based on Mike Dixon.. But I don't remember too well.
Either way. It's funny how I got from THAT. (crappy grammer, and poor details), to what I am now..
Guess I owe Call of Duty 3 a bit of a thank wewe :)
I had a LOT of free time today.
My house is being worked on. So I'm literary stuck in my room. Watching tv, and writing.
So I decided to watch episides 5 and 6 of Death note.
That's right TWO episodes.
I watched it a while ago.
But forgot to review so here we go.
Yes.
We finally see L.
For some reason, watching him seems so awkward.
Like he doesn't want to be there. au ANYWHERE.
Don't say I hate him.
Just don't really like him.
He might get better though, who knows.
Plus he looks WAY to much like Jeff the Killer shabiki fictions (like this image).
So that leaves it hard for me to take him all that seriously.
My house is being worked on. So I'm literary stuck in my room. Watching tv, and writing.
So I decided to watch episides 5 and 6 of Death note.
That's right TWO episodes.
I watched it a while ago.
But forgot to review so here we go.
Yes.
We finally see L.
For some reason, watching him seems so awkward.
Like he doesn't want to be there. au ANYWHERE.
Don't say I hate him.
Just don't really like him.
He might get better though, who knows.
Plus he looks WAY to much like Jeff the Killer shabiki fictions (like this image).
So that leaves it hard for me to take him all that seriously.
#1: WILLIAM WALLACE:
He was a man of his times. However, Hollywood has made him something he never really was. Wallace was a terrorist and guerrilla fighter who was as much out for himself as he was for Scotland, and he caused as many problems for the Scots as for the English. After a Wallace raid, it would be the locals who suffered reprisals, not Wallace and his band of cutthroats..
#2: BENJAMIN MARTIN:
While still a war hero.
He apparently spend his free time SHOOTING his slaves for "sport"..
#3: GEORGE WASINGTON:
Apparently George Washington was pompous, and refused to even shake anyone's hand after he became president, deeming people "less than worthy"..
He was a man of his times. However, Hollywood has made him something he never really was. Wallace was a terrorist and guerrilla fighter who was as much out for himself as he was for Scotland, and he caused as many problems for the Scots as for the English. After a Wallace raid, it would be the locals who suffered reprisals, not Wallace and his band of cutthroats..
#2: BENJAMIN MARTIN:
While still a war hero.
He apparently spend his free time SHOOTING his slaves for "sport"..
#3: GEORGE WASINGTON:
Apparently George Washington was pompous, and refused to even shake anyone's hand after he became president, deeming people "less than worthy"..