1.One siku a man noticed that his Credit Card is stolen...But he didn't ripoti it to Police.
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Guess WHY????? ;D
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Because the thief was spending less than his wife.....Hahahahha!!!!
2.Friend no.1:Hey dude,what are u lookin for so intensly in the keyboard?
Friend 2:I'm playin a game and it says "Press any key to continue".But I cant find the "any" key here...
3.(A teacher to a student)
Teacher:Dave,tell the name of 1 thing that has NOT been used since 10 years...
Dave:Sir,my brain!!!
Teacher:FOOL!!!
Dave:Thats why I told "Brain"...
4.One siku a bank was robbed.The robbers succesfully managed to escape from there and hid in a truck.
Thief 1:Boss,I forgot to count how money we stole.!
Thief 2:Yeah boss,I also forgot to count!
Boss:Dont worry,we can find it out in the newspaper tomorrow!!!
5.A teacher was teaching a class....
Teacher:Draw a biagram of Bacteria.
(after 30 seconds)
Dave:Here it is,sir...
Teacher:Where, I cant see anything?!
Dave:Sir u cant see Bacteria without microscope!!!!
(END)
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Guess WHY????? ;D
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.
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.
.
.
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Because the thief was spending less than his wife.....Hahahahha!!!!
2.Friend no.1:Hey dude,what are u lookin for so intensly in the keyboard?
Friend 2:I'm playin a game and it says "Press any key to continue".But I cant find the "any" key here...
3.(A teacher to a student)
Teacher:Dave,tell the name of 1 thing that has NOT been used since 10 years...
Dave:Sir,my brain!!!
Teacher:FOOL!!!
Dave:Thats why I told "Brain"...
4.One siku a bank was robbed.The robbers succesfully managed to escape from there and hid in a truck.
Thief 1:Boss,I forgot to count how money we stole.!
Thief 2:Yeah boss,I also forgot to count!
Boss:Dont worry,we can find it out in the newspaper tomorrow!!!
5.A teacher was teaching a class....
Teacher:Draw a biagram of Bacteria.
(after 30 seconds)
Dave:Here it is,sir...
Teacher:Where, I cant see anything?!
Dave:Sir u cant see Bacteria without microscope!!!!
(END)
A young Aussie joins the navy. On the siku he is about to go to sea, his father warned him to be aware of gay sailors.
"But dad, how will I know?"
"Trust me son, wewe will know.
After 6 months at sea, the ship comes into port. The father was on the dock waiting for his son. The son, seeing his father, got off the ship and s...hook his fathers hand.
"Well son,how did it go?"
"Dad, I found out what wewe ment about gay sailors. One night I was out on deck all alone when a man came kwa and put his hand on my shoulder so I threw him overboard."
"But how could wewe tell he was gay?"
"Well, for 3 days he swam behind the mashua yelling "THROW ME A BOUY, THROW ME A BOUY"
"But dad, how will I know?"
"Trust me son, wewe will know.
After 6 months at sea, the ship comes into port. The father was on the dock waiting for his son. The son, seeing his father, got off the ship and s...hook his fathers hand.
"Well son,how did it go?"
"Dad, I found out what wewe ment about gay sailors. One night I was out on deck all alone when a man came kwa and put his hand on my shoulder so I threw him overboard."
"But how could wewe tell he was gay?"
"Well, for 3 days he swam behind the mashua yelling "THROW ME A BOUY, THROW ME A BOUY"
here is one of my fav jokes-
teacher- students,as a part of literary week celebrations, we have decided to hold a competition!
(children starts to look at each other and whisper)
teacher- silence! the contest is, each siku wewe have to read a well known book! and i'll say the names of some well-known books,and those who have read it should raise their hands, and the one who has read most books,will get extra recess time
(children cheers!later at the end of the week)
teacher- how many of wewe read , hamlet?
(the whole class raise their hands!)
teacher-good! now how many has read oddissi?
(again the whole class raise their hands!the teacher is suspicious whether they r lying,so she decides to test them)
teacher- exellent!now how many of wewe have read the biography of aristotile?
(as expected,the whole class raise their hands again!)
teacher- good,but may i inform wewe that there is no book yet,called biography of aristotle?
teacher- students,as a part of literary week celebrations, we have decided to hold a competition!
(children starts to look at each other and whisper)
teacher- silence! the contest is, each siku wewe have to read a well known book! and i'll say the names of some well-known books,and those who have read it should raise their hands, and the one who has read most books,will get extra recess time
(children cheers!later at the end of the week)
teacher- how many of wewe read , hamlet?
(the whole class raise their hands!)
teacher-good! now how many has read oddissi?
(again the whole class raise their hands!the teacher is suspicious whether they r lying,so she decides to test them)
teacher- exellent!now how many of wewe have read the biography of aristotile?
(as expected,the whole class raise their hands again!)
teacher- good,but may i inform wewe that there is no book yet,called biography of aristotle?
1 siku 2 very lovin parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard".
Their son wlked in n alisema "Wat doz bitch, kahaba n bastard mean?" n d parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".
d nx siku d parents decided 2 hav sex, d women alisema "feel my titties" n the man alisema "feel my dick".
Their son wlked in n asked "What doz titties n dick mean?" n d parents replied "hats n coats".
On Thnksgivin d dad was shavin n cut himself, "Shit" he said, d kid came in n asked "What's dat mean" n dman alisema it was d brand shavin cream he was usin.
Dwn stairs d mom was preparin d turkey, n she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's dat mean" the mom alisema dats wat she calls stuffin d turkey.
pango d door kengele rang. d kid answered d door to his relatives n alisema "Alright u bitches n bastards, put ur dicks n titties in d closet, my dad is upstairs wipin the shit off his face, n my mom is in the jikoni fuckin d turkey!
Their son wlked in n alisema "Wat doz bitch, kahaba n bastard mean?" n d parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".
d nx siku d parents decided 2 hav sex, d women alisema "feel my titties" n the man alisema "feel my dick".
Their son wlked in n asked "What doz titties n dick mean?" n d parents replied "hats n coats".
On Thnksgivin d dad was shavin n cut himself, "Shit" he said, d kid came in n asked "What's dat mean" n dman alisema it was d brand shavin cream he was usin.
Dwn stairs d mom was preparin d turkey, n she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's dat mean" the mom alisema dats wat she calls stuffin d turkey.
pango d door kengele rang. d kid answered d door to his relatives n alisema "Alright u bitches n bastards, put ur dicks n titties in d closet, my dad is upstairs wipin the shit off his face, n my mom is in the jikoni fuckin d turkey!
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship‚ holding her hat on tightly so that it wouldn't blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me‚ madam. I do not intend to be forward‚ but did wewe know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes‚ I know‚" alisema the lady‚ "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But‚ madam‚ wewe must know that your privates are exposed!" alisema the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down‚ then back up at the man and replied‚ "Sir‚ anything wewe see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me‚ madam. I do not intend to be forward‚ but did wewe know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes‚ I know‚" alisema the lady‚ "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But‚ madam‚ wewe must know that your privates are exposed!" alisema the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down‚ then back up at the man and replied‚ "Sir‚ anything wewe see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
