As some of wewe may know, I’ve been going on about the ‘perfect song’ for a fic but never got round to uandishi one due to the damn writer’s block! But I have now managed to finish it. Finally. So enjoy, and let me know what wewe think! =]
One shot. Song lyrics in italics. Set in S5.

House
Sitting in his office, a lonely soul, wondering what went wrong. She was there for him, the only one sitting beside his bed. The reason why Wilson wasn’t there, he could understand, although he still expected him to forgive him sooner, being Wilson and all. But that didn’t quite work out the way he hoped. He wanted him to ngumi, punch him, get his anger out, so they could be best Marafiki again. He missed him. He put on the facade of not giving a damn about who was there and who wasn’t, although he did wonder where his old ducklings were, as well as the new. None of them were there when he woke up. Only Cuddy, holding onto his hand as if her life depended on it. And he let her hold on, because he needed to know that someone does care.



Cuddy
When she found out that House had practically aliyopewa himself a moyo attack, she was sick to her stomach with worry, mixed in with a little guilt, but she never knew why she felt that guilt. She didn’t do anything wrong. When she reached his room, he had already slipped into a coma, and she felt the tears pricking at her eyes, and she let them fall, releasing the pain she felt along with her tears. She took of her shoes and curled up into a ball in the chair beside him, wanting him to wake up with at least one person there. When she saw him waking up, her emotions were of so many, concern, excitement, joy. She didn’t know what to say, and so settled on letting him know that she was there. He didn’t respond to that, but she knew him, she could understand him, decipher every one of his actions no matter how often they change meaning. The sekunde time he woke up, she was asleep, but he didn’t push away her hand like he would have normally, instead he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, as if he were letting her know it’ll all be alright.



House
When he could finally get out of the hospital bed, he became worse for wear mentally. He didn’t know what he was doing, and who he was hurting, and at the time, he didn’t care. He pushed away the one person who was there for him and he knew he hurt her but he was too stubborn to say sorry. He thought that quite odd because the sincere apology to Wilson came quite easily, in comparison to the unsaid apology he owed Cuddy. Every time he went into her office to apologise, he’d come out with some snarky maoni that only pushed her further away. He regretted this zaidi than anything, but he couldn’t help it; it was just the way he was.

I can’t remember when it was good
Moments of happiness elude
Maybe I just misunderstood
All of the upendo we left behind

Cuddy
She knew in her moyo that he didn’t mean to push her away, but she couldn’t help but feel a little hurt kwa it. She worried for him so much, and it seemed like he didn’t care. Whenever she went nyumbani and thought about the way in which he pushed her away, she felt the tears run their course, every night. At first she couldn’t understand why it affected her so much, au why she couldn’t concentrate at work like before. Then she realised that everything had changed when he gave himself a moyo attack to save his best friend’s girlfriend. The feelings she had were deeper than any friendship, and she only realised it now. She has known him for so long yet she couldn’t interpret her own feelings for him. She hadn’t even considered the mere possibility of it, so why would she have seen this coming.

Watching the flashbacks intertwine
Memories I will never find
So I’ll upendo all that you’ll become
Forget the reckless things we’ve done
I think our lives have just begun
I think our lives have just begun

House
The longer he left his apology, the longer it will take for them to be the same again. He knew in his moyo he wanted to be zaidi than just friends, but he was too stubborn to ever admit it to anyone. Instead of opening up to her, letting her in, he did the opposite. He wanted to endlessly tease her again, he wanted to be teased. All it would have taken was one word and he couldn’t even say it. He has alisema sorry many times before to Cuddy because it was what she wanted to hear, but those were fake, meaningless apologies. This time he couldn’t lie because this time he knew he hurt her bad.

And I feel my world crumbling
And I feel my life crumbling
And I feel my soul crumbling away
Falling away, falling away with you

Cuddy
Some days she felt like she was the one who should apologise to him, although she knew she didn’t do anything wrong. She just wanted their friendship back at least. She found herself awake when she should be sleeping, and asleep when she should be awake. She didn’t like her life when she was awake, and she didn’t like her uchungu, chungu dreams when she was asleep. She couldn’t have it both ways. She only wanted to see him in her dreams, and she always ended up waking up to change the path of her dream, but to no avail. She pretended that he did walk into her office and act like he normally did, yet when someone else entered and she was found smiling to herself, they worried for her sanity.

Staying awake to chase a dream
Tasting the air you’re breathing in
I hope I won’t forget a thing
Promise to hold wewe close and pray
Watching the fantasies decay

House
He felt that all the upendo he had saved up for her went to waste. He didn’t want it to be this way but he didn’t feel it was so easy to change this. He couldn’t just tell her how he felt, of course not, he’s Gregory House, known for his snarky comments, not James Wilson, known for opening up about his feelings. Sometimes he wished he could, just for one day, do what Wilson did every day. But no, he couldn’t even do that. He made a mistake and he kept on making the same mistake over and over again, just kwa not apologising.

Nothing will ever stay the same
And all of the upendo we threw away
And all of the hopes we’ve cherished fade
Making the same mistakes again
Making the same mistakes again

Cuddy
The longer it took for him to say something, anything, the longer it took for her to get over the hurt she felt, the life she was missing out on. She almost felt like she had no right in House’s life anymore. She was simply his boss, nothing more, nothing less. She told herself that on countless occasions but she couldn’t accept because she wanted to be zaidi than just his boss. She wanted to be his friend and, when the time was right, his wife. But she felt it had been too long, too late.

And I feel my world crumbling
And I feel my life crumbling
And I feel my soul crumbling away
Falling away, falling away with you

House&Cuddy
They both wanted to believe that everything will be alright. But they both knew that they were stubborn, and waiting for the other to say something first. They wanted each other, needed each other, loved each other; but neither of them would admit it to each other. All he had to do was apologise, and all she had to do was let go of her position of authority and let him in. But they were too stubborn.

All of the upendo we left behind
Watching the flashbacks intertwine
Memories wewe will never find
Memories I will never find



Any of wewe interested in listening to the song can find it link