Theme song >>>> link
Taxi Ponies: *Driving taxi cabs to the station*
Ponies On The Rails
Starring the Union Pacific ponies
Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Railway Pony: *Driving freight train across a bridge going over the train tracks at the station.*
Metal Gloss: *Drives freight train under bridge*
Pony: *In the station, buying a ticket. As soon as he gets the ticket, he runs across the platform, and boards his train.*
Hawkeye: *Preparing train for departure*
Stylo: *Looking at orders on paper*
Hawkeye: *Blows horn twice*
Signal Pony: *Turns signal green*
Hawkeye: *Drives train out of the station.*
Also starring Stylo From Jimmythedragon
NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, Ike, Mike, Nicole, Stephanie, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Also starring the Southern Pacific ponies.
Nikki West From Jade_23
Michael, Roger, Anthony, Ryan, Duke, and Donut from Seanthehedgehog
And special guest stars
Aqua Marine from AquaMarine6663
Chimney Sweep from Windwakerguy430
Hawkeye: *Tuning an acoustic guitar, but stops to look at the reader* Oh hello. I'm sure wewe want to look at the highlights, so I won't waste your time. All I wanted to tell wewe is that, after these highlights are over, our third, and final fanfic special will appear. It's gonna be called Stolen Parts, because parts for some of our locomotives get stolen. Alright, *Gets back to tuning his guitar* Enjoy the highlights.
Episode 81
Orion: *Looks at the train*
Aqua Marine: *Climbs out of the train*
Orion: Hey, Aqua. Good to see wewe again.
Aqua Marine: Same to you. What's going on?
Orion: We're having our last freight train running to be powered kwa a steam engine. After that, they're all being scrapped, au sent to museums.
Aqua Marine: That's a shame. I'll never forget the time my railroad got all of it's steam engines gone. I cried for five minutes.
Orion: Listen, may we talk about this later? We need to get your train into the yards before Mike shows up.
Aqua Marine: Who is Mike?
Orion: One of the most retarded railroad employees ever.
---
Aqua Marine's train was still derailed, and they were trying to get it back onto the tracks.
Orion: Where are those cranes when wewe need 'em?
Aqua Marine: Maybe they broke down.
Orion: They couldn't have. Every time they're not used, they get maintained so they won't break down.
Mirage: *Arrives* Orion, the cranes broke down.
Aqua Marine: *Makes a bata face while raising a brow*
Orion: Don't rub it in.
Aqua Marine: I didn't even say anything.
Orion: Mirage, who's fixing the cranes if they're broken?
Mirage: Wilson.
Orion: Well, wewe can always rely on Wilson to-
Ike: *Arrives* Listen wewe three, Wilson just broke his leg.
Mirage: He what?
Ike: He was trying to fix the crane so it could lift Aqua Marine's train back onto the rails, but he broke his leg in the process.
Orion: Did wewe call a doctor?
Ike: No.
Orion: Why not? Wilson breaks his leg, and wewe don't bother to call a doctor? Doesn't anypony here know common sense?
Mirage: wewe shouldn't be the one talking. wewe try to get fired on purpose.
---
crane Pony: *Drunk, and moves the crane arm to the right*
Orion: What are wewe doing?!!?
crane Pony: *Stops the crane, and falls out*
Orion: *Goes to crane*
Mirage: Are wewe sure wewe know how to operate one of those?
Orion: Trust me, if I didn't know, I wouldn't be going in. *Moves crane arm up* wait, i want it to go left. *Moves the crane arm right*
Mirage: Idiot.
Aqua Marine: wewe can say that again.
Mike: *Sticks his head out of the hole in the caboose* What did wewe say about me?
Mirage: I didn't.
Orion: *Gets out of crane* Forget it. wewe operate this thing Mirage.
Episode 82
Stylo: What's gonna be on our freight train?
Hawkeye: *Looks at manifest* It says vegetables in eleven refrigerator cars, three bulldozers on three flat cars, a tank car full of syrup, and fifteen boxcars full of... Boxes.
Stylo: I guess that's why they're called boxcars.
---
Stylo: *Watching Hawkeye push the coach, and caboose towards a freight train* Almost there.
Hawkeye: *Going 1 mile an hour*
Stylo: Aaaand.
Hawkeye: *Gets coach, and caboose coupled up to train*
Stylo: You're good.
Hawkeye: Gordon's freight train is complete.
Stylo: Let's just hope no one tries to get on board the passenger car. All of the seats are occupied with boxes full of ketchup packets.
Gordon: *Walking to the trainyard*
Hawkeye: Perfect. Here he comes.
Stylo: I can't wait to see how he reacts to this.
Hawkeye: Leave it to me. *Walks to Gordon* Hi Gordon.
Gordon: Where do wewe think you're going?
Hawkeye: Towards you. I want to onyesha wewe something.
Gordon: Alright.
Hawkeye: So let's say wewe have something to deliver on your freight train, but there isn't enough freight cars.
Gordon: That can't be good.
Hawkeye: We find a way to get all of the supplies onto your train without those missing freight cars. How would wewe react?
Gordon: I'd be pleased. After all, you're helping me get- *Sees a coach on his freight train, and points at it* THAT'S A PASSENGER CAR!!!
Hawkeye: Very good Gordon. *To Stylo* I thought he'd never get it right.
Stylo: I thought it was a flatcar with a big red dog on it.
---
Hawkeye: Have fun on your trip Gordon.
Gordon: Fuck you. *Gets into his engine*
Hawkeye: Fine. Don't have fun on your trip. In fact, I hope wewe die. *Walks away*
Gordon: Thanks a lot.
Hawkeye: Jeez. Being nice doesn't work with that machungwa, chungwa blob.
Episode 83
Hawkeye arrived at Pete's office to find out what his job would be for today.
Pete: Good morning.
Hawkeye: A very good morning indeed. What do wewe want me to do?
Pete: I got your orders right here. *Gives Hawkeye a piece of paper*
Hawkeye: *Reading paper* Take the City Of Denver to North Platte. Don't wewe think Denver is too far away for me to take it?
Pete: Not the actual city! I'm talking about the express train.
Gordon: *Arrives* Hello assholes.
Hawkeye: Gordon learned how to curse for the very first time.
Gordon: Oh can it!
Hawkeye: *Leaves office*
Gordon: What am I doing? It better not be driving a freight train, or-
Pete: Let me stop wewe right there, and compliment wewe on your service to this railroad for eleven years.
Gordon: Thank you.
Pete: Now wewe know that we all like you. Even though we don't onyesha it much, we think you're swell.
Gordon: Well, *Blushes* I am nice to everypony.
Pete: Now this train you're going to drive has to go into North Platte.
Gordon: What type of train is it?
Pete: It's a freight train.
Gordon: *Inhales for four seconds*
He then shouted the word no so loudly that wewe could hear it from Japan.
Twenty dakika later in Hawkeye, and Stylo's train, Stylo was playing a song on the radio: link
Stylo: Hey, I found it.
Hawkeye: Good. Too bad they're playing this song though. Buddy holly is dead.
Stylo: Why did he die?
Hawkeye: Because the pilot was an idiot, and took off in the plane when he wasn't supposed to.
Stylo: He was on a plane when he died?
Hawkeye: I thought wewe knew that. Everypony knows about it. He was on a plane, and it crashed.
Stylo: Then you're right. The pilot was an idiot. How did the plane crash?
Hawkeye: Forget about it. wewe can learn what happened on a newspaper. From last February.
---
Gordon: Stylo, do wewe really think I can't do anything?
Stylo: Obviously, wewe can't do anything. wewe fucked up with driving your freight train here, so why would wewe be able to do good at anything else?
Gordon: I'm an expert at changing tires on cars.
Stylo: Yeah right.
Just then, a brand new Corvette passed kwa Gordon, and it got a flat tire.
Stylo: How ironic.
Gordon: Watch how it's done. *Walks to the car*
Old Mare: *Gets out of car* Ah, I knew I shouldn't have gotten a new car. These things always have problems.
Gordon: Excuse me ma'am. May I be of assistance?
Old Mare: No.
Gordon: Let me change the tire for you.
Hawkeye: Either he's deaf, au no means yes.
Stylo: Ah.
Gordon: *Opens trunk*
Old Mare: I told wewe not to help me.
Gordon: What do wewe want to do? Stay here hours for help to arrive when it's already here? I can fix this. *Gets spare tire, and tools*
Old Mare: I'll make wewe stop. *Grabs baseball bat*
Hawkeye: *Takes baseball bat away from mare* Ah ah ah. We want our friend to prove that he can actually do something right.
Gordon: *Raises car with lift*
Old Mare: Alright fine, but make sure wewe get that tire on properly.
Gordon: *Takes off bad tire*
Old Mare: Can he hear? Can he hear?
Gordon: *Mimicking the mare* Yes he can. Yes he can.
Hawkeye: Could have fooled me.
Gordon: *Puts spare tire on car*
Old Mare: Make sure wewe screw those nuts, and bolts on tightly.
Gordon: What does it look like I'm doing? *Lowers car after screwing in the nuts, and bolts* There we go.
After that, the spare tire got flat.
Hawkeye: *Laughs*
Stylo: *Sarcastically* Way to go Gordon!
Old Mare: These new cars are always going wrong!
Hawkeye: It's not the car. wewe just have bad tires.
Gordon: I was about to say that!
Hawkeye: Bullshit!!
Episode 84
Mirage: *Uncouples his engine from the freight train*
Browning: Hold up!
Mirage: Oh, it's wewe again.
Browning: What's on your train?
Mirage: Nothing Browning. All those freight cars are empty.
Browning: You're lying. Let me take a look.
Mirage: No way mate. I've got serious work to do, and wewe should be out on the streets killing cops, and robbing banks.
Browning: Other ponies in my mafia are doing that. What I'm supposed to do is steal goods from your train.
Mirage: Well wewe can't get anything from my train. It's empty.
---
After talking to Orion, Browning decided to go to some bila mpangilio bar to do only one thing. Get drunk.
Browning: *Crosses the train tracks, and gets onto the platform. He sees Stylo arrive in a passenger train. So, he grabs a Tommygun, and shoots the engine*
Stylo: *Stops the train, and gets out* Hey! What do wewe think you're doing?!
Browning: What does it look like I'm doing dipshit?
Stylo: wewe just ruined a brand new locomotive.
Browning: Yeah well some of your Marafiki up in the train yard ruined some of my merchandise.
Stylo: wewe mean the gasoline, and ammunition? It's not even yours to begin with wewe trigger happy twat!
Browning: *Leaves the station*
Stylo: Hey! I'm not finished talking to you!! HEY!!!
---
Gordon: We need a moto extinguisher.
Wilson: Don't have one.
Mirage: Water?
Hawkeye: Too far away.
Stylo: Gordon, don't wewe know any spells to stop those tank cars from exploding?
Gordon: I'm thinking, I'm thinking. I guess I'm getting a little too distracted with that trigger happy twat Browning. Once Pete finds out what he did, he won't be happy.
Mirage: Save that for later, and stop the moto now!
Gordon: *Charges up his horn* I'll try to get a big bucket of water here with my magic.
Hawkeye: Don't take too long.
Stylo: The fate of the Union Pacific depends on you.
Wilson: *Sees headlights from a distance* I see lights!
Mirage: That must be Stephanie! Hurry up Gordon!
Gordon: I'm doing this as quickly as I can!! *Makes the big bucket of water appear*
Stephanie: *Blows horn on her train*
Mirage: Now put out the fire!!
Gordon: *Puts out moto from tank cars*
Stylo: wewe did it!!
Ponies: *Cheering*
Stephanie: *Passes the trainyard*
Episode 85
Chimney Sweep: I need to find a replacement worker, and quick.
83 dakika later
Chimney Sweep: *Slamming his phone on the ground* Nopony wants to help me out!
---
Taxi Pony: *Stops at the airport* That'll be $2.50
Jeff: *Gives the taxi gppony, pony $2.50* Have a good day. *Gets out of the cab*
Taxi Pony: That unicorn must be fucked up in the head. Nopony has ever alisema that to me before. *Drives away*
---
Gordon: *Hits a spike, but it bends* Oh, wewe GOTTA BE KIDDING!!
Orion: What happened?
Gordon: The spike is bent, and we need a new one!
Orion: Gordon, that's the sixteenth nail we used. Why don't wewe let me hit it in?
Gordon: No. The only way to get things done is kwa doing it yourself.
Orion: *Looks at the rest of the track that is damaged. It goes on for a mile* Yeah. That's why we barely started.
Gordon: I just don't know why Pete would choose me to do Jeff, and Percy's work. Me! Of all the other ponies on the Union Pacific, I have to suffer.
Orion: wewe have to suffer? I've been putting up with your punda for over eighteen hours, and you're saying that you suffer?
Gordon: Yes.
Episode 86
Gordon: Alright, what does it tell us to do?
Orion: Uh, I'm looking for that. *Reading book on diesel locomotives*
Gordon: Well hurry up. After we repair this engine, we gotta repair the line on Archer Hill.
Orion: It's not easy looking for things in this book.
Gordon: Okay. Let's start with something simple. What type of diesel is this?
Orion: It says that it's a U25B. Manufactured kwa General Electric.
Gordon: Hold up. You're saying a company that makes household appliances manufactured this?
Orion: Yes.
Gordon: Bullshit. *Reads the book* Holy fuck, you're right.
---
Gordon: *Bends a spike as he hits it with the hammer* FUCK!!
Orion: Are wewe sure wewe don't want me doing that?
Gordon: I can do it!!
Orion: No wewe can't.
Gordon: *Jumps up, and down like a two mwaka old* YES I CAN! YES I CAN!!
Orion: Screaming will get us nowher-
Hawkeye: *Blows the horn on his train as he gets closer to Gordon, and Orion*
Orion: I got it.
Gordon: Got what?
Orion: I know how to get fired!
Gordon: Ugh. When will wewe stop trying to get fired on purpose?
Orion: I tried stopping three months ago, it didn't work. We will not repair this line, and that train will crash, causing me to get fired.
Gordon: Why just you?
Orion: I'll take all the blame, and say that wewe were busy working on another section of track.
Hawkeye: *Blows the horn on his train, and slows down*
Gordon: He's slowing down. He may not crash.
Hawkeye: *Gets switched onto another track*
Orion: Shit.
Gordon: Better luck inayofuata time.
---
Donovan: Ponyville, right across the mitaani, mtaa from a place called Sugarcube Corner. It's got good candy, and sometimes, I go there with my son to buy chokoleti covered pretzels, and a soda.
Narrator: Now some of wewe probably didn't know Sugarcube Corner was around in 1959, but as wewe probably would've guessed, it was not the same as it is now.
Song: link
Narrator: An overweight stallion ran Sugarcube Corner. Unlike Mr. Cake, he had no wife, and no kids. No one knew who he was, but if wewe fucked with him, he'd blow your brains out with a magnum. No one could see what he looked like, because he always wore a black hoodie with a white mask.
Donovan: Hey, how's it going?
Overweight Stallion: What can I get wewe today?
Donovan: Two bags of M&M's, and two bottles of A&W Root beer.
Overweight Stallion: Coming right up. *Goes to get candy, and drinks*
Jeff: He looks to suspicious to be running a Candy store.
Donovan: Roll with it.
Overweight Stallion: *Returns with the M&M's, and Root beer* Your grand total for all of this is 30 bits.
Donovan: *Grabs a quarter, and a nickel* Here wewe are. 30 bits.
Overweight Stallion: Enjoy.
They got out of the store with their candy, and drinks
Jeff: Well, things went well.
Donovan: I'm surprised they did. *Hears a gunshot from Sugarcube Corner*
Episode 87
Tim: Hurry up, get your Lightningbird!
Meadow: I'm going there right now. *Runs to her car which is parked in her karakana kwa her house*
Meadow's Flam Lightningbird
Nikki: *Gets out of the station* Meadow *Runs to her sister who just got into her car* Where are wewe going?
Meadow: Out into town.
Nikki: Alright, be careful.
Meadow: Y'all worry too much.
Nikki: Don't stay out too late, au else wewe won't get enough sleep for work.
Meadow: Alright, alright. *Starts her car* Like I said, wewe worry too much. *Backs out of the driveway*
Jesse: Follow us. *Driving to Main Street*
Meadow: *Turns the radio on her car*
The song begins playing at 1:31 link
When Meadow, Tim, and Jesse got to Main Street, hundreds of ponies were there kwa their cars. They were all shiny, and had powerful engines with lots of horsepower.
Jesse: *Parks his car in front of a general store*
Meadow: *Parks her car behind Jesse's roadster*
Tim: *Gets out, and walks to Meadow* Tonight, we'll be drag racing from the intersection to the railroad crossing.
Meadow: Doesn't that sound a little dangerous? What if somepony crashes into the train?
Tim: We got a stallion that has a radio tuned into the same channel that everypony on their train is set to. He'll let us know if a train gets too close to the crossing.
Stallion: *Sitting in a convertible, kubadilishwa Corvette* Hey, the inayofuata train coming through is five miles away from the crossing! Let's get a songesha on!!
Meadow: I'm racing first. *Moves her car to the intersection, and is going up against a Belair*
Meadow races against this car
Stallion 85: *Revs his engine*
gppony, pony 36: The light for wewe two will turn green in ten seconds.
Meadow: *Revs her engine*
Radio Announcer: This is X.E.R.B. Your nyumbani for Rock & Roll.
Mares: XERB! 1090
Another song came on: link
gppony, pony 36: Get ready!
Meadow: *Watches the light turn green, and floors it*
Stallion 85: *Floors it, and looks at Meadow. He is in front for only a few seconds, then Meadow gets in front of him*
Meadow: *Smiles as she takes the lead*
Meadow's car passed the railroad crossing first, and she won the drag race.
---
Nikki, and Meadow were having breakfast.
Nikki: Drink some coffee.
Meadow: No thank you.
Nikki: wewe should have some to keep wewe awake.
Meadow: I don't need it.
Nikki: wewe stayed up really late last night doing that drag racing bullshit. wewe need to drink coffee.
Meadow: *Walks away*
Nikki: Where are wewe going?
Meadow: Work.
Nikki: We have ten dakika until it starts!
Meadow: I don't care.
---
Stallion 59: Hey! Wanna drag race?
Meadow: From here to the railroad crossing!
Stallion 59: You're crazy, but what the heck?
They waited for the light to turn green, and they floored it. The two ponies were driving at nearly the same speed. Meadow's car was ahead kwa only a centimeter.
Meadow: *Sees the lights turn on at the railroad crossing, and stops*
Stallion 59: *Gets a flat tire, and loses control. He crashes into the train*
Nikki: *Stops the train, and sees Meadow* Wait a second, I thought she was sick!
Meadow: *Runs to the stallion* Are wewe okay?
Stallion 59: Get outta here, it's gonna blow.
Meadow: What do wewe mean? *Sees his car catch on fire* Ah! *Opens the door* Can't wewe get out?!
Stallion 59: I can't feel my legs.
Meadow: *Sees the stallion's legs covered in blood. She pulls the stallion out of the car* I got you. *Carries the stallion away from the car*
Stallion 59: Today's not my day. *Watches his car explode*
Episode 88
Roger: wewe get angry over nothing.
Donut: wewe have a shorter temper then I do.
Roger: Nope. It's the other way around.
Donut: Bullshit.
Duke: *Arrives* Halt!
Donut & Roger: *Looks at Duke*
Roger: What are wewe telling us to halt for if we aren't moving?
Duke: That is German for stop.
Roger: wewe could've just alisema stop.
---
Donut: Yes. *Turns the radio on, and searches for a Rock & Roll station*
A song came on: link
Donut: Perfect timing. We can listen to the entire song.
Roger: Yeah, no. wewe see, I prefer jazz music, and that's what we're gonna be listening to. *Changes the radio station*
This song came on: link
Donut: What the fuck?
Roger: Jazz is better.
Donut: No! Rock & Roll is better. *Changes the station back to Rock & Roll*
Roger: *Changes the station back to jazz*
They argued over the radio, and didn't realize that they passed a red signal. But, what could be in their way?
Oh no! It's the Super Chief, and it's travelling at high speed!!
Donut: *Hitting Roger in the head multiple times* Rock & Roll is what we're playing! *Changes the station*
Uh fellas? wewe might wanna stop arguing, and stop your train as well, otherwise it'll crash into the Super Chief.
Roger: So what?
So long!
Donut: *Sees the Super Chief. It's going to the right, on a switch, and is moving out of the way. He applies the brakes*
Roger: What did wewe do that for?!
Donut: We would have crashed into that train.
Roger: So?
Donut: And wewe think I have no common sense.
---
Gordon: *Arrives* Donut, long time no see. What's going on?
Donut: *Points at Roger* He is being an asshole, and will not come out of the train, and says that I get angrier then him.
Roger: But it's true. You're the most pissed off gppony, pony I've ever seen.
Donut: No, wewe are!
Gordon: wewe wanna see pissed off? I'll onyesha it to wewe if wewe don't stop arguing. Roger, get out of the train!
Roger: You'll never get me out.
Gordon: *Throws a wrench at Roger*
Roger: What the fuck was that for?
Gordon: GET OUT OF THE TRAIN RIGHT NOW!!!!
Roger: *Gets out* What's your problem?
Episode 89
Snowflake: *On the radio* How much fuel do wewe have?
Hawkeye: *On a freight train with Mirage* Just a quarter of a tank. We'll be fine.
Snowflake: Okay, but we're still low on fuel here.
Mirage: How the bloody hell is that possible?
Hawkeye: I have no clue. *Talks on the radio* Snowflake, do wewe know when we'll get zaidi fuel?
Snowflake: No. Pete's doing everything he can, but so far, no dice.
Hawkeye: Fuck. I was worried about that.
Gordon: *Talking on the radio* Would wewe mind keeping the chit chat down? I'm trying to concentrate.
Hawkeye: wewe don't need to concentrate with what you're doing Gordon.
Mirage: Why? What's he doing?
Hawkeye: Either he's jacking off, au he's attempting to pass a red signal for no good reason.
Gordon: Neither! I am trying to get my train up Archer Hill, but the wheels keep slipping!!
Mirage: Hand me the thing, I wanna talk to him. *Takes the walkie talkie* Gordon, have wewe tried using sand to get zaidi grip?
Gordon: Sand doesn't give your train any grip.
Mirage: Yes it does. Everypony should know that.
Gordon: Bullshit. I'll drop sand onto the rails right now, and it won't do a thing.
Hawkeye: Wait for it.
Mirage: I'm waiting.
Gordon: Never mind. It's working.
---
Pete: *On the phone, talking to Michael* HOW COULD wewe DO THIS TO ME?!!? After all the shit we went through two decades ago, wewe screwed me over!!
Michael: If wewe don't like the price, wewe can send the fuel back.
Pete: Mike, I already told you, we're low on fuel. I'm okay with the ammount wewe sent me, but the price? That's ridiculous.
Michael: What can I say? Fuel is expensive, and wewe had a lot of it being shipped from my railway to yours.
Pete: HOW CAN A LIQUID THAT GOES INTO A MACHINE BE EXPENSIVE?
---
Hours later, they returned to Cheyenne the same time Hawkeye, and Stylo did. Their trains were in the yard, when a Santa Ne freight arrived being pulled kwa five diesels.
Irish Pony: *Gets out of the train* We heard your railroad is running low on fuel.
Hawkeye: It's probably in newspapers all over Equestria now. Union Pacific in a fuel crisis.
Stylo: But at least it gave us something good. *Points to the challenger*
Irish Pony: Our railway heard about your predicament, and sent me to drive this freight train. Fifty tank cars are full of diesel fuel. behind those engines.
Hawkeye: Fantastic. Now, our engineers can be brave, and not worry about running out of fuel in the middle of the mainline.
Gordon: GET AWAY FROM ME!! *Being dragged kwa Wilson to another freight train* I'M THROUGH WITH DRIVING STEAM LOCOMOTIVES!! LET ME GO!!!
Irish Pony: What the bloody hell was that all about?
Hawkeye: That's one of the brave engineers crying for his mommy.
Episode 90
Hawkeye: Did wewe hear about the parade we're going to have on our railway?
Nikki: I didn't.
Stylo: It's the very first one we're ever having. Pete says if we're going to be in the parade, we need to sponsorize a company, kwa pulling a train with the company's logo, and one of it's products.
Nikki: Sounds like fun. I wish I could jiunge you.
Hawkeye: Ask Pete. I'm sure he'll let you.
Nikki: What about my boss?
Stylo: I'm sure he'd be okay with wewe joining the parade. *Sees the signal turn green* wewe better get going.
Nikki: *Looks at her signal* Oh, you're right. *Blows her horn twice, rings the bell, and drives her train*
---
As Wilson was discussing his plan, Richard gathered five scottish ponies with him, and they were going to kill Mike on Sherman Hill. Richard, and the scottish ponies were standing on one side of the train tracks, and Mike was standing on the other side.
Richard: You've been a good brother to me lad, but wewe know what we do to ponies that leave the mafia.
Mike: wewe don't have to do this to me Richard.
Richard: Yes I do. We will shoot wewe in-
Wilson: *Driving his train*
Richard: *Looking at Richard's train, and reads what the boxcar says* Drive a brand new Chevronet?
Wilson: *Going five miles an hour* Pierce, Stephanie, get the dummy out there. Mirage, get Gonzo on the train.
They ran out of the train, and obeyed Wilson's command.
Mike: What are wewe doing lads? Me brother will kill you.
Pierce: Oh no he won't.
Mirage: We're going to save you. *Runs with Mike to the train*
Pierce & Stephanie: *Placing the dummy where Mike was*
Wilson: Hurry wewe two.
Pierce & Stephanie: *Run back onto the train* Okay, we're on go.
Wilson: *Increases his speed*
Mirage: Haha! We saved you.
Mike: wewe bastards! wewe just made it worse.
Richard, and the scottish ponies thought the dummy was Mike.
Richard: Fire!
Scottish Ponies: *Shooting at the dummy*
At first, their bullets were hitting the ground, but one bullet blew the dummy's head off, and it fell down, much to Richard's content.
Richard: Good work lads. Let's go home.
---
The parade started in time, and a huge crowd gathered at the station.
A song was playing, and the mayor of Cheyenne was the announcer: link
Mayor: Hello everypony, and welcome to the very first parade on rails here in Cheyenne, in order to celebrate the town of Cheyenne's 92nd anniversary. Yes sir, this town has been around for a long time. Everypony on the Union Pacific has worked very hard to decorate their trains for this event, and when I shoot my gun into the air, they will all drive pass this station. *Grabs a .38 revolver* And.. *Shoots a bullet* Go.
Wilson: *Driving pass the station*
Mayor: Coming up first is a Korean War vet named Wilson. His train wadhamini Chevronet, and on the back of his train, there's a nice shiny Pearla there. Look at all of that chrome.
Stephanie: *Driving her train*
Mayor: Up inayofuata is Stephanie, a former Northern Pacific employee, and her train wadhamini the Metro Goldwyn Mayer movie company. On one of the cars is a poster for the new movie, Ben Hur. Check it out as soon as wewe get near a movie theater.
Percy: *Driving his train*
Mayor: Here comes the inayofuata train, sponsoring the famous soda brand, Colta Cola. Right behind that is another train, being driven kwa an machungwa, chungwa unicorn named Jeff. He's sponsoring Dodge, and has two flat cars with new pick up trucks kwa alisema car company.
Hawkeye: *Driving five diesels with a Big Boy on three flat cars*
Mayor: Oh, here's a nice one. Pierce Hawkins, an engineer for the Union Pacific, is sposoring his own railroad, kwa placing a Big Boy on three flat cars, and having it get pulled kwa five powerful diesel locomotives. Following close behind Pierce is his best friend Stylo Bevaria in his train, sponsoring the motorcycle company, gppony, pony Davidson. Hello Davidson. On Stylo's train, sitting on one of the motorcycles, is Nocturnal Mirage, and he doesn't have any trains to drive for this parade. Sorry Mirage, maybe inayofuata year. Last, but not least, is Gordon Suite, and he's sponsoring Little Richard, kwa having him stand on a flat car, performing one of his songs right now as we speak.
Little Richard was with his band on a flat car, and they were playing this song: link
After Gordon's train passed by, this song came back on: link
Mayor: We hope wewe enjoyed the parade, and remember, The Union Pacific is the best railroad in all of Equestria. Now go inside the station, and enjoy the hors d'oeuvres
Inside the station, a record player was playing this song: link
Nikki: *Walking around the station*
Hawkeye: *Arrives with Stylo* Hey, wewe just missed it.
Nikki: Aw, damnit.
Stylo: hujambo don't worry about it. You're just in time for the party.
Nikki: That's good to hear.
Louis: *Arrives*
Louis: I hope I didn't miss out on anything.
Hawkeye: Louis, it's been a long time since we've seen wewe around here.
Louis: Your boss Pete told me about what was going on. I tried to get here as quickly as I could, but it looks like I missed out on the parade.
Stylo: Hey, you're not the only one. *Points to Nikki*
Louis: *Looking at Nikki* Hello. What's a pretty mare like wewe doing around this area?
Nikki: *Blushes*
Louis: Care to dance before this song ends?
Nikki: Don't mind if I do. *Leaves with Louis*
Stylo: What do we do now?
Hawkeye: wewe get Snowflake, I'll get Metal Gloss, and the four of us will dance together.
The End
On the inayofuata episode of Ponies On The Rails
Gordon goes on his biggest rampage ever.
Taxi Ponies: *Driving taxi cabs to the station*
Ponies On The Rails
Starring the Union Pacific ponies
Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Railway Pony: *Driving freight train across a bridge going over the train tracks at the station.*
Metal Gloss: *Drives freight train under bridge*
Pony: *In the station, buying a ticket. As soon as he gets the ticket, he runs across the platform, and boards his train.*
Hawkeye: *Preparing train for departure*
Stylo: *Looking at orders on paper*
Hawkeye: *Blows horn twice*
Signal Pony: *Turns signal green*
Hawkeye: *Drives train out of the station.*
Also starring Stylo From Jimmythedragon
NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, Ike, Mike, Nicole, Stephanie, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Also starring the Southern Pacific ponies.
Nikki West From Jade_23
Michael, Roger, Anthony, Ryan, Duke, and Donut from Seanthehedgehog
And special guest stars
Aqua Marine from AquaMarine6663
Chimney Sweep from Windwakerguy430
Hawkeye: *Tuning an acoustic guitar, but stops to look at the reader* Oh hello. I'm sure wewe want to look at the highlights, so I won't waste your time. All I wanted to tell wewe is that, after these highlights are over, our third, and final fanfic special will appear. It's gonna be called Stolen Parts, because parts for some of our locomotives get stolen. Alright, *Gets back to tuning his guitar* Enjoy the highlights.
Episode 81
Orion: *Looks at the train*
Aqua Marine: *Climbs out of the train*
Orion: Hey, Aqua. Good to see wewe again.
Aqua Marine: Same to you. What's going on?
Orion: We're having our last freight train running to be powered kwa a steam engine. After that, they're all being scrapped, au sent to museums.
Aqua Marine: That's a shame. I'll never forget the time my railroad got all of it's steam engines gone. I cried for five minutes.
Orion: Listen, may we talk about this later? We need to get your train into the yards before Mike shows up.
Aqua Marine: Who is Mike?
Orion: One of the most retarded railroad employees ever.
---
Aqua Marine's train was still derailed, and they were trying to get it back onto the tracks.
Orion: Where are those cranes when wewe need 'em?
Aqua Marine: Maybe they broke down.
Orion: They couldn't have. Every time they're not used, they get maintained so they won't break down.
Mirage: *Arrives* Orion, the cranes broke down.
Aqua Marine: *Makes a bata face while raising a brow*
Orion: Don't rub it in.
Aqua Marine: I didn't even say anything.
Orion: Mirage, who's fixing the cranes if they're broken?
Mirage: Wilson.
Orion: Well, wewe can always rely on Wilson to-
Ike: *Arrives* Listen wewe three, Wilson just broke his leg.
Mirage: He what?
Ike: He was trying to fix the crane so it could lift Aqua Marine's train back onto the rails, but he broke his leg in the process.
Orion: Did wewe call a doctor?
Ike: No.
Orion: Why not? Wilson breaks his leg, and wewe don't bother to call a doctor? Doesn't anypony here know common sense?
Mirage: wewe shouldn't be the one talking. wewe try to get fired on purpose.
---
crane Pony: *Drunk, and moves the crane arm to the right*
Orion: What are wewe doing?!!?
crane Pony: *Stops the crane, and falls out*
Orion: *Goes to crane*
Mirage: Are wewe sure wewe know how to operate one of those?
Orion: Trust me, if I didn't know, I wouldn't be going in. *Moves crane arm up* wait, i want it to go left. *Moves the crane arm right*
Mirage: Idiot.
Aqua Marine: wewe can say that again.
Mike: *Sticks his head out of the hole in the caboose* What did wewe say about me?
Mirage: I didn't.
Orion: *Gets out of crane* Forget it. wewe operate this thing Mirage.
Episode 82
Stylo: What's gonna be on our freight train?
Hawkeye: *Looks at manifest* It says vegetables in eleven refrigerator cars, three bulldozers on three flat cars, a tank car full of syrup, and fifteen boxcars full of... Boxes.
Stylo: I guess that's why they're called boxcars.
---
Stylo: *Watching Hawkeye push the coach, and caboose towards a freight train* Almost there.
Hawkeye: *Going 1 mile an hour*
Stylo: Aaaand.
Hawkeye: *Gets coach, and caboose coupled up to train*
Stylo: You're good.
Hawkeye: Gordon's freight train is complete.
Stylo: Let's just hope no one tries to get on board the passenger car. All of the seats are occupied with boxes full of ketchup packets.
Gordon: *Walking to the trainyard*
Hawkeye: Perfect. Here he comes.
Stylo: I can't wait to see how he reacts to this.
Hawkeye: Leave it to me. *Walks to Gordon* Hi Gordon.
Gordon: Where do wewe think you're going?
Hawkeye: Towards you. I want to onyesha wewe something.
Gordon: Alright.
Hawkeye: So let's say wewe have something to deliver on your freight train, but there isn't enough freight cars.
Gordon: That can't be good.
Hawkeye: We find a way to get all of the supplies onto your train without those missing freight cars. How would wewe react?
Gordon: I'd be pleased. After all, you're helping me get- *Sees a coach on his freight train, and points at it* THAT'S A PASSENGER CAR!!!
Hawkeye: Very good Gordon. *To Stylo* I thought he'd never get it right.
Stylo: I thought it was a flatcar with a big red dog on it.
---
Hawkeye: Have fun on your trip Gordon.
Gordon: Fuck you. *Gets into his engine*
Hawkeye: Fine. Don't have fun on your trip. In fact, I hope wewe die. *Walks away*
Gordon: Thanks a lot.
Hawkeye: Jeez. Being nice doesn't work with that machungwa, chungwa blob.
Episode 83
Hawkeye arrived at Pete's office to find out what his job would be for today.
Pete: Good morning.
Hawkeye: A very good morning indeed. What do wewe want me to do?
Pete: I got your orders right here. *Gives Hawkeye a piece of paper*
Hawkeye: *Reading paper* Take the City Of Denver to North Platte. Don't wewe think Denver is too far away for me to take it?
Pete: Not the actual city! I'm talking about the express train.
Gordon: *Arrives* Hello assholes.
Hawkeye: Gordon learned how to curse for the very first time.
Gordon: Oh can it!
Hawkeye: *Leaves office*
Gordon: What am I doing? It better not be driving a freight train, or-
Pete: Let me stop wewe right there, and compliment wewe on your service to this railroad for eleven years.
Gordon: Thank you.
Pete: Now wewe know that we all like you. Even though we don't onyesha it much, we think you're swell.
Gordon: Well, *Blushes* I am nice to everypony.
Pete: Now this train you're going to drive has to go into North Platte.
Gordon: What type of train is it?
Pete: It's a freight train.
Gordon: *Inhales for four seconds*
He then shouted the word no so loudly that wewe could hear it from Japan.
Twenty dakika later in Hawkeye, and Stylo's train, Stylo was playing a song on the radio: link
Stylo: Hey, I found it.
Hawkeye: Good. Too bad they're playing this song though. Buddy holly is dead.
Stylo: Why did he die?
Hawkeye: Because the pilot was an idiot, and took off in the plane when he wasn't supposed to.
Stylo: He was on a plane when he died?
Hawkeye: I thought wewe knew that. Everypony knows about it. He was on a plane, and it crashed.
Stylo: Then you're right. The pilot was an idiot. How did the plane crash?
Hawkeye: Forget about it. wewe can learn what happened on a newspaper. From last February.
---
Gordon: Stylo, do wewe really think I can't do anything?
Stylo: Obviously, wewe can't do anything. wewe fucked up with driving your freight train here, so why would wewe be able to do good at anything else?
Gordon: I'm an expert at changing tires on cars.
Stylo: Yeah right.
Just then, a brand new Corvette passed kwa Gordon, and it got a flat tire.
Stylo: How ironic.
Gordon: Watch how it's done. *Walks to the car*
Old Mare: *Gets out of car* Ah, I knew I shouldn't have gotten a new car. These things always have problems.
Gordon: Excuse me ma'am. May I be of assistance?
Old Mare: No.
Gordon: Let me change the tire for you.
Hawkeye: Either he's deaf, au no means yes.
Stylo: Ah.
Gordon: *Opens trunk*
Old Mare: I told wewe not to help me.
Gordon: What do wewe want to do? Stay here hours for help to arrive when it's already here? I can fix this. *Gets spare tire, and tools*
Old Mare: I'll make wewe stop. *Grabs baseball bat*
Hawkeye: *Takes baseball bat away from mare* Ah ah ah. We want our friend to prove that he can actually do something right.
Gordon: *Raises car with lift*
Old Mare: Alright fine, but make sure wewe get that tire on properly.
Gordon: *Takes off bad tire*
Old Mare: Can he hear? Can he hear?
Gordon: *Mimicking the mare* Yes he can. Yes he can.
Hawkeye: Could have fooled me.
Gordon: *Puts spare tire on car*
Old Mare: Make sure wewe screw those nuts, and bolts on tightly.
Gordon: What does it look like I'm doing? *Lowers car after screwing in the nuts, and bolts* There we go.
After that, the spare tire got flat.
Hawkeye: *Laughs*
Stylo: *Sarcastically* Way to go Gordon!
Old Mare: These new cars are always going wrong!
Hawkeye: It's not the car. wewe just have bad tires.
Gordon: I was about to say that!
Hawkeye: Bullshit!!
Episode 84
Mirage: *Uncouples his engine from the freight train*
Browning: Hold up!
Mirage: Oh, it's wewe again.
Browning: What's on your train?
Mirage: Nothing Browning. All those freight cars are empty.
Browning: You're lying. Let me take a look.
Mirage: No way mate. I've got serious work to do, and wewe should be out on the streets killing cops, and robbing banks.
Browning: Other ponies in my mafia are doing that. What I'm supposed to do is steal goods from your train.
Mirage: Well wewe can't get anything from my train. It's empty.
---
After talking to Orion, Browning decided to go to some bila mpangilio bar to do only one thing. Get drunk.
Browning: *Crosses the train tracks, and gets onto the platform. He sees Stylo arrive in a passenger train. So, he grabs a Tommygun, and shoots the engine*
Stylo: *Stops the train, and gets out* Hey! What do wewe think you're doing?!
Browning: What does it look like I'm doing dipshit?
Stylo: wewe just ruined a brand new locomotive.
Browning: Yeah well some of your Marafiki up in the train yard ruined some of my merchandise.
Stylo: wewe mean the gasoline, and ammunition? It's not even yours to begin with wewe trigger happy twat!
Browning: *Leaves the station*
Stylo: Hey! I'm not finished talking to you!! HEY!!!
---
Gordon: We need a moto extinguisher.
Wilson: Don't have one.
Mirage: Water?
Hawkeye: Too far away.
Stylo: Gordon, don't wewe know any spells to stop those tank cars from exploding?
Gordon: I'm thinking, I'm thinking. I guess I'm getting a little too distracted with that trigger happy twat Browning. Once Pete finds out what he did, he won't be happy.
Mirage: Save that for later, and stop the moto now!
Gordon: *Charges up his horn* I'll try to get a big bucket of water here with my magic.
Hawkeye: Don't take too long.
Stylo: The fate of the Union Pacific depends on you.
Wilson: *Sees headlights from a distance* I see lights!
Mirage: That must be Stephanie! Hurry up Gordon!
Gordon: I'm doing this as quickly as I can!! *Makes the big bucket of water appear*
Stephanie: *Blows horn on her train*
Mirage: Now put out the fire!!
Gordon: *Puts out moto from tank cars*
Stylo: wewe did it!!
Ponies: *Cheering*
Stephanie: *Passes the trainyard*
Episode 85
Chimney Sweep: I need to find a replacement worker, and quick.
83 dakika later
Chimney Sweep: *Slamming his phone on the ground* Nopony wants to help me out!
---
Taxi Pony: *Stops at the airport* That'll be $2.50
Jeff: *Gives the taxi gppony, pony $2.50* Have a good day. *Gets out of the cab*
Taxi Pony: That unicorn must be fucked up in the head. Nopony has ever alisema that to me before. *Drives away*
---
Gordon: *Hits a spike, but it bends* Oh, wewe GOTTA BE KIDDING!!
Orion: What happened?
Gordon: The spike is bent, and we need a new one!
Orion: Gordon, that's the sixteenth nail we used. Why don't wewe let me hit it in?
Gordon: No. The only way to get things done is kwa doing it yourself.
Orion: *Looks at the rest of the track that is damaged. It goes on for a mile* Yeah. That's why we barely started.
Gordon: I just don't know why Pete would choose me to do Jeff, and Percy's work. Me! Of all the other ponies on the Union Pacific, I have to suffer.
Orion: wewe have to suffer? I've been putting up with your punda for over eighteen hours, and you're saying that you suffer?
Gordon: Yes.
Episode 86
Gordon: Alright, what does it tell us to do?
Orion: Uh, I'm looking for that. *Reading book on diesel locomotives*
Gordon: Well hurry up. After we repair this engine, we gotta repair the line on Archer Hill.
Orion: It's not easy looking for things in this book.
Gordon: Okay. Let's start with something simple. What type of diesel is this?
Orion: It says that it's a U25B. Manufactured kwa General Electric.
Gordon: Hold up. You're saying a company that makes household appliances manufactured this?
Orion: Yes.
Gordon: Bullshit. *Reads the book* Holy fuck, you're right.
---
Gordon: *Bends a spike as he hits it with the hammer* FUCK!!
Orion: Are wewe sure wewe don't want me doing that?
Gordon: I can do it!!
Orion: No wewe can't.
Gordon: *Jumps up, and down like a two mwaka old* YES I CAN! YES I CAN!!
Orion: Screaming will get us nowher-
Hawkeye: *Blows the horn on his train as he gets closer to Gordon, and Orion*
Orion: I got it.
Gordon: Got what?
Orion: I know how to get fired!
Gordon: Ugh. When will wewe stop trying to get fired on purpose?
Orion: I tried stopping three months ago, it didn't work. We will not repair this line, and that train will crash, causing me to get fired.
Gordon: Why just you?
Orion: I'll take all the blame, and say that wewe were busy working on another section of track.
Hawkeye: *Blows the horn on his train, and slows down*
Gordon: He's slowing down. He may not crash.
Hawkeye: *Gets switched onto another track*
Orion: Shit.
Gordon: Better luck inayofuata time.
---
Donovan: Ponyville, right across the mitaani, mtaa from a place called Sugarcube Corner. It's got good candy, and sometimes, I go there with my son to buy chokoleti covered pretzels, and a soda.
Narrator: Now some of wewe probably didn't know Sugarcube Corner was around in 1959, but as wewe probably would've guessed, it was not the same as it is now.
Song: link
Narrator: An overweight stallion ran Sugarcube Corner. Unlike Mr. Cake, he had no wife, and no kids. No one knew who he was, but if wewe fucked with him, he'd blow your brains out with a magnum. No one could see what he looked like, because he always wore a black hoodie with a white mask.
Donovan: Hey, how's it going?
Overweight Stallion: What can I get wewe today?
Donovan: Two bags of M&M's, and two bottles of A&W Root beer.
Overweight Stallion: Coming right up. *Goes to get candy, and drinks*
Jeff: He looks to suspicious to be running a Candy store.
Donovan: Roll with it.
Overweight Stallion: *Returns with the M&M's, and Root beer* Your grand total for all of this is 30 bits.
Donovan: *Grabs a quarter, and a nickel* Here wewe are. 30 bits.
Overweight Stallion: Enjoy.
They got out of the store with their candy, and drinks
Jeff: Well, things went well.
Donovan: I'm surprised they did. *Hears a gunshot from Sugarcube Corner*
Episode 87
Tim: Hurry up, get your Lightningbird!
Meadow: I'm going there right now. *Runs to her car which is parked in her karakana kwa her house*
Meadow's Flam Lightningbird
Nikki: *Gets out of the station* Meadow *Runs to her sister who just got into her car* Where are wewe going?
Meadow: Out into town.
Nikki: Alright, be careful.
Meadow: Y'all worry too much.
Nikki: Don't stay out too late, au else wewe won't get enough sleep for work.
Meadow: Alright, alright. *Starts her car* Like I said, wewe worry too much. *Backs out of the driveway*
Jesse: Follow us. *Driving to Main Street*
Meadow: *Turns the radio on her car*
The song begins playing at 1:31 link
When Meadow, Tim, and Jesse got to Main Street, hundreds of ponies were there kwa their cars. They were all shiny, and had powerful engines with lots of horsepower.
Jesse: *Parks his car in front of a general store*
Meadow: *Parks her car behind Jesse's roadster*
Tim: *Gets out, and walks to Meadow* Tonight, we'll be drag racing from the intersection to the railroad crossing.
Meadow: Doesn't that sound a little dangerous? What if somepony crashes into the train?
Tim: We got a stallion that has a radio tuned into the same channel that everypony on their train is set to. He'll let us know if a train gets too close to the crossing.
Stallion: *Sitting in a convertible, kubadilishwa Corvette* Hey, the inayofuata train coming through is five miles away from the crossing! Let's get a songesha on!!
Meadow: I'm racing first. *Moves her car to the intersection, and is going up against a Belair*
Meadow races against this car
Stallion 85: *Revs his engine*
gppony, pony 36: The light for wewe two will turn green in ten seconds.
Meadow: *Revs her engine*
Radio Announcer: This is X.E.R.B. Your nyumbani for Rock & Roll.
Mares: XERB! 1090
Another song came on: link
gppony, pony 36: Get ready!
Meadow: *Watches the light turn green, and floors it*
Stallion 85: *Floors it, and looks at Meadow. He is in front for only a few seconds, then Meadow gets in front of him*
Meadow: *Smiles as she takes the lead*
Meadow's car passed the railroad crossing first, and she won the drag race.
---
Nikki, and Meadow were having breakfast.
Nikki: Drink some coffee.
Meadow: No thank you.
Nikki: wewe should have some to keep wewe awake.
Meadow: I don't need it.
Nikki: wewe stayed up really late last night doing that drag racing bullshit. wewe need to drink coffee.
Meadow: *Walks away*
Nikki: Where are wewe going?
Meadow: Work.
Nikki: We have ten dakika until it starts!
Meadow: I don't care.
---
Stallion 59: Hey! Wanna drag race?
Meadow: From here to the railroad crossing!
Stallion 59: You're crazy, but what the heck?
They waited for the light to turn green, and they floored it. The two ponies were driving at nearly the same speed. Meadow's car was ahead kwa only a centimeter.
Meadow: *Sees the lights turn on at the railroad crossing, and stops*
Stallion 59: *Gets a flat tire, and loses control. He crashes into the train*
Nikki: *Stops the train, and sees Meadow* Wait a second, I thought she was sick!
Meadow: *Runs to the stallion* Are wewe okay?
Stallion 59: Get outta here, it's gonna blow.
Meadow: What do wewe mean? *Sees his car catch on fire* Ah! *Opens the door* Can't wewe get out?!
Stallion 59: I can't feel my legs.
Meadow: *Sees the stallion's legs covered in blood. She pulls the stallion out of the car* I got you. *Carries the stallion away from the car*
Stallion 59: Today's not my day. *Watches his car explode*
Episode 88
Roger: wewe get angry over nothing.
Donut: wewe have a shorter temper then I do.
Roger: Nope. It's the other way around.
Donut: Bullshit.
Duke: *Arrives* Halt!
Donut & Roger: *Looks at Duke*
Roger: What are wewe telling us to halt for if we aren't moving?
Duke: That is German for stop.
Roger: wewe could've just alisema stop.
---
Donut: Yes. *Turns the radio on, and searches for a Rock & Roll station*
A song came on: link
Donut: Perfect timing. We can listen to the entire song.
Roger: Yeah, no. wewe see, I prefer jazz music, and that's what we're gonna be listening to. *Changes the radio station*
This song came on: link
Donut: What the fuck?
Roger: Jazz is better.
Donut: No! Rock & Roll is better. *Changes the station back to Rock & Roll*
Roger: *Changes the station back to jazz*
They argued over the radio, and didn't realize that they passed a red signal. But, what could be in their way?
Oh no! It's the Super Chief, and it's travelling at high speed!!
Donut: *Hitting Roger in the head multiple times* Rock & Roll is what we're playing! *Changes the station*
Uh fellas? wewe might wanna stop arguing, and stop your train as well, otherwise it'll crash into the Super Chief.
Roger: So what?
So long!
Donut: *Sees the Super Chief. It's going to the right, on a switch, and is moving out of the way. He applies the brakes*
Roger: What did wewe do that for?!
Donut: We would have crashed into that train.
Roger: So?
Donut: And wewe think I have no common sense.
---
Gordon: *Arrives* Donut, long time no see. What's going on?
Donut: *Points at Roger* He is being an asshole, and will not come out of the train, and says that I get angrier then him.
Roger: But it's true. You're the most pissed off gppony, pony I've ever seen.
Donut: No, wewe are!
Gordon: wewe wanna see pissed off? I'll onyesha it to wewe if wewe don't stop arguing. Roger, get out of the train!
Roger: You'll never get me out.
Gordon: *Throws a wrench at Roger*
Roger: What the fuck was that for?
Gordon: GET OUT OF THE TRAIN RIGHT NOW!!!!
Roger: *Gets out* What's your problem?
Episode 89
Snowflake: *On the radio* How much fuel do wewe have?
Hawkeye: *On a freight train with Mirage* Just a quarter of a tank. We'll be fine.
Snowflake: Okay, but we're still low on fuel here.
Mirage: How the bloody hell is that possible?
Hawkeye: I have no clue. *Talks on the radio* Snowflake, do wewe know when we'll get zaidi fuel?
Snowflake: No. Pete's doing everything he can, but so far, no dice.
Hawkeye: Fuck. I was worried about that.
Gordon: *Talking on the radio* Would wewe mind keeping the chit chat down? I'm trying to concentrate.
Hawkeye: wewe don't need to concentrate with what you're doing Gordon.
Mirage: Why? What's he doing?
Hawkeye: Either he's jacking off, au he's attempting to pass a red signal for no good reason.
Gordon: Neither! I am trying to get my train up Archer Hill, but the wheels keep slipping!!
Mirage: Hand me the thing, I wanna talk to him. *Takes the walkie talkie* Gordon, have wewe tried using sand to get zaidi grip?
Gordon: Sand doesn't give your train any grip.
Mirage: Yes it does. Everypony should know that.
Gordon: Bullshit. I'll drop sand onto the rails right now, and it won't do a thing.
Hawkeye: Wait for it.
Mirage: I'm waiting.
Gordon: Never mind. It's working.
---
Pete: *On the phone, talking to Michael* HOW COULD wewe DO THIS TO ME?!!? After all the shit we went through two decades ago, wewe screwed me over!!
Michael: If wewe don't like the price, wewe can send the fuel back.
Pete: Mike, I already told you, we're low on fuel. I'm okay with the ammount wewe sent me, but the price? That's ridiculous.
Michael: What can I say? Fuel is expensive, and wewe had a lot of it being shipped from my railway to yours.
Pete: HOW CAN A LIQUID THAT GOES INTO A MACHINE BE EXPENSIVE?
---
Hours later, they returned to Cheyenne the same time Hawkeye, and Stylo did. Their trains were in the yard, when a Santa Ne freight arrived being pulled kwa five diesels.
Irish Pony: *Gets out of the train* We heard your railroad is running low on fuel.
Hawkeye: It's probably in newspapers all over Equestria now. Union Pacific in a fuel crisis.
Stylo: But at least it gave us something good. *Points to the challenger*
Irish Pony: Our railway heard about your predicament, and sent me to drive this freight train. Fifty tank cars are full of diesel fuel. behind those engines.
Hawkeye: Fantastic. Now, our engineers can be brave, and not worry about running out of fuel in the middle of the mainline.
Gordon: GET AWAY FROM ME!! *Being dragged kwa Wilson to another freight train* I'M THROUGH WITH DRIVING STEAM LOCOMOTIVES!! LET ME GO!!!
Irish Pony: What the bloody hell was that all about?
Hawkeye: That's one of the brave engineers crying for his mommy.
Episode 90
Hawkeye: Did wewe hear about the parade we're going to have on our railway?
Nikki: I didn't.
Stylo: It's the very first one we're ever having. Pete says if we're going to be in the parade, we need to sponsorize a company, kwa pulling a train with the company's logo, and one of it's products.
Nikki: Sounds like fun. I wish I could jiunge you.
Hawkeye: Ask Pete. I'm sure he'll let you.
Nikki: What about my boss?
Stylo: I'm sure he'd be okay with wewe joining the parade. *Sees the signal turn green* wewe better get going.
Nikki: *Looks at her signal* Oh, you're right. *Blows her horn twice, rings the bell, and drives her train*
---
As Wilson was discussing his plan, Richard gathered five scottish ponies with him, and they were going to kill Mike on Sherman Hill. Richard, and the scottish ponies were standing on one side of the train tracks, and Mike was standing on the other side.
Richard: You've been a good brother to me lad, but wewe know what we do to ponies that leave the mafia.
Mike: wewe don't have to do this to me Richard.
Richard: Yes I do. We will shoot wewe in-
Wilson: *Driving his train*
Richard: *Looking at Richard's train, and reads what the boxcar says* Drive a brand new Chevronet?
Wilson: *Going five miles an hour* Pierce, Stephanie, get the dummy out there. Mirage, get Gonzo on the train.
They ran out of the train, and obeyed Wilson's command.
Mike: What are wewe doing lads? Me brother will kill you.
Pierce: Oh no he won't.
Mirage: We're going to save you. *Runs with Mike to the train*
Pierce & Stephanie: *Placing the dummy where Mike was*
Wilson: Hurry wewe two.
Pierce & Stephanie: *Run back onto the train* Okay, we're on go.
Wilson: *Increases his speed*
Mirage: Haha! We saved you.
Mike: wewe bastards! wewe just made it worse.
Richard, and the scottish ponies thought the dummy was Mike.
Richard: Fire!
Scottish Ponies: *Shooting at the dummy*
At first, their bullets were hitting the ground, but one bullet blew the dummy's head off, and it fell down, much to Richard's content.
Richard: Good work lads. Let's go home.
---
The parade started in time, and a huge crowd gathered at the station.
A song was playing, and the mayor of Cheyenne was the announcer: link
Mayor: Hello everypony, and welcome to the very first parade on rails here in Cheyenne, in order to celebrate the town of Cheyenne's 92nd anniversary. Yes sir, this town has been around for a long time. Everypony on the Union Pacific has worked very hard to decorate their trains for this event, and when I shoot my gun into the air, they will all drive pass this station. *Grabs a .38 revolver* And.. *Shoots a bullet* Go.
Wilson: *Driving pass the station*
Mayor: Coming up first is a Korean War vet named Wilson. His train wadhamini Chevronet, and on the back of his train, there's a nice shiny Pearla there. Look at all of that chrome.
Stephanie: *Driving her train*
Mayor: Up inayofuata is Stephanie, a former Northern Pacific employee, and her train wadhamini the Metro Goldwyn Mayer movie company. On one of the cars is a poster for the new movie, Ben Hur. Check it out as soon as wewe get near a movie theater.
Percy: *Driving his train*
Mayor: Here comes the inayofuata train, sponsoring the famous soda brand, Colta Cola. Right behind that is another train, being driven kwa an machungwa, chungwa unicorn named Jeff. He's sponsoring Dodge, and has two flat cars with new pick up trucks kwa alisema car company.
Hawkeye: *Driving five diesels with a Big Boy on three flat cars*
Mayor: Oh, here's a nice one. Pierce Hawkins, an engineer for the Union Pacific, is sposoring his own railroad, kwa placing a Big Boy on three flat cars, and having it get pulled kwa five powerful diesel locomotives. Following close behind Pierce is his best friend Stylo Bevaria in his train, sponsoring the motorcycle company, gppony, pony Davidson. Hello Davidson. On Stylo's train, sitting on one of the motorcycles, is Nocturnal Mirage, and he doesn't have any trains to drive for this parade. Sorry Mirage, maybe inayofuata year. Last, but not least, is Gordon Suite, and he's sponsoring Little Richard, kwa having him stand on a flat car, performing one of his songs right now as we speak.
Little Richard was with his band on a flat car, and they were playing this song: link
After Gordon's train passed by, this song came back on: link
Mayor: We hope wewe enjoyed the parade, and remember, The Union Pacific is the best railroad in all of Equestria. Now go inside the station, and enjoy the hors d'oeuvres
Inside the station, a record player was playing this song: link
Nikki: *Walking around the station*
Hawkeye: *Arrives with Stylo* Hey, wewe just missed it.
Nikki: Aw, damnit.
Stylo: hujambo don't worry about it. You're just in time for the party.
Nikki: That's good to hear.
Louis: *Arrives*
Louis: I hope I didn't miss out on anything.
Hawkeye: Louis, it's been a long time since we've seen wewe around here.
Louis: Your boss Pete told me about what was going on. I tried to get here as quickly as I could, but it looks like I missed out on the parade.
Stylo: Hey, you're not the only one. *Points to Nikki*
Louis: *Looking at Nikki* Hello. What's a pretty mare like wewe doing around this area?
Nikki: *Blushes*
Louis: Care to dance before this song ends?
Nikki: Don't mind if I do. *Leaves with Louis*
Stylo: What do we do now?
Hawkeye: wewe get Snowflake, I'll get Metal Gloss, and the four of us will dance together.
The End
On the inayofuata episode of Ponies On The Rails
Gordon goes on his biggest rampage ever.
Blue Bolt, the newest resident of Ponyville
London race track
Sean's new Canterlot Firebolt
Thomas' Flam Special
