NAME: Naomi Campbell (...Yes, that is my real fucking name)

AGE: 16

SEX: No thanks.

MOTTO: two words: Barrack - Obama.

ABOUT ME: I'm not actually joining this because everyone else is but because I like making connections with bila mpangilio strangers...interesting ones...who want to change the world without becoming a footballer's wife au a porn star. Life's all about meeting interesting individuals who wewe come across in ways that you'd never expect. Like the time I was on a flight back from Barcelona, I noticed a really pretty looking chubby Slovakian girl who seemed to be traveling on her own. In...

People (well, I say people but I mean tossers) often ask me why I like girls zaidi than boys. Well today I think I just realized what the answer is. I bumped into Danny Seaborne, a guy who used to live near me when we were kids. He used to be really fit but now… well now he works in Greggs and looks like he's their main chakula tester. Danny was my first boyfriend. Kind of. We went on four dates. When I was fourteen. Back then I thought he was kinda of cool. He always wore this Kappa mshambuliaji, mlipuaji wa bomu koti, jacket and his baseball cap, herufi kubwa at a jaunty angle (I was fucking young...)

We went to see Independence Day....