jibu swali hili

Poetry Swali

Is anyone here who have interest in "Haiku"....

Because, i wanna write Haiku.. .
.
and i wrote it,
Need your advice ..
About haiku i wrote!
Here:
A lady
And love
Rainy
.
Dusk a
lady lad
man in
.
I want your advice.. .

 K_lleH-Hell_k posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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Poetry Majibu

SRitchieable said:
The trick to haiku is: The haiku has to make sense as a 'sentence' as well as meeting the vowel-count requirement.

A traditional Japanese haiku goes:
Girls planting paddy [ie mchele fields]
Only their song
Free of mud.

As a sentence this reads "Girls planting paddy [have] only their song free of [the] mud [ie the mud of the mchele paddy]." Which makes sense in its own right - if wewe think it through.

I think the art form has to be considered as one would consider (say) a Japanese paper lantern au paper screen. One can see what a hakiu is talking about - ie mchele paddy planting, upendo etc - but one sees it as though one were looking at the subject through a fine (rice) paper screen. It 'simplifies' the scene (how much can one see through rice/tissue paper?) but at the same time this 'simplification' gives one a new way of perceiving the subject.

So - "A lady/ And love/ Rainy" could be tinkered somewhat. It depends what wewe want to say. Is a lady in upendo like the rain au a rainy day? Is upendo like rain? If so, how? That's what a haiku tries to capture/communicate. Perhaps:
Rain falls on
A lady; it
Is like love.

au whatever it is wewe TRULY want to say.


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 The trick to haiku is: The haiku has to make sense as a 'sentence' as well as meeting the vowel-count requirement. A traditional Japanese haiku goes: Girls planting paddy [ie mchele fields] Only their song Free of mud. As a sentence this reads "Girls planting paddy [have] only their song free of [the] mud [ie the mud of the mchele paddy]." Which makes sense in its own right - if wewe think it through. I think the art form has to be considered as one would consider (say) a Japanese paper lantern au paper screen. One can see what a hakiu is talking about - ie mchele paddy planting, upendo etc - but one sees it as though one were looking at the subject through a fine (rice) paper screen. It 'simplifies' the scene (how much can one see through rice/tissue paper?) but at the same time this 'simplification' gives one a new way of perceiving the subject. So - "A lady/ And love/ Rainy" could be tinkered somewhat. It depends what wewe want to say. Is a lady in upendo like the rain au a rainy day? Is upendo like rain? If so, how? That's what a haiku tries to capture/communicate. Perhaps: Rain falls on A lady; it Is like love. au whatever it is wewe TRULY want to say.
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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Thank You!!
K_lleH-Hell_k posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
RiderOfTempest said:
i always thought that haiku had to have 5 letters in the 1st line, seven in the 2nd, and 5 again in the 3rd.....
then again, i've never studied it properly....

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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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Lol, :D
K_lleH-Hell_k posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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actually its five syllables not letters
RiverIce posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
Jace123 said:
I like Haiku its preety nice!
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
RiverIce said:
I always thought that Haiku was like
1st line: 5 syllables
2nd line: 7
1st line: 5
like:

The flowers I pick
They dance with colors, like me
The colors never fade

or

upendo is a Boulder
wewe can study it nicely
au let the rock fall

i like the 2nd one
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 I always thought that Haiku was like 1st line: 5 syllables 2nd line: 7 1st line: 5 like: The flowers I pick They dance with colors, like me The colors never fade au upendo is a Boulder wewe can study it nicely au let the rock fall i like the 2nd one
posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
audrey34-z said:
A haiku is a short,timed poetry that expression throught a 5-7-5 syllabes.
wewe have to expell your image that is ephemer.Meaning it doesn't stay too long.

Japan origin, they have to compress their sensation,season into small line. The best option is figure of style,compar it to another object,material au double sense.

Your's is dry,only 4 syllabes to each vers (Tetrasyllabe) and not so expressif.The text give wewe an illusion of being an haiku since the 2nd one is long to others snce wewe can do a 7 syllabes one.
But it doesn't mean that wewe have to stop, the road to a better haiku is long and expression and idea clasing will make wewe a better writter.
The road may be long but wewe can do it.
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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