bila mpangilio Club
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posted by vanillaicecream
So let's say you're talking to your Marafiki and gesturing wildly, and because you're not paying attention, wewe manage to honk some part of a passing stranger's anatomy that is traditionally covered kwa underpants; spinning around to apologize, wewe instead topple down a staircase and faceplant into a wedding cake, whereupon wewe realize that your pants are unbuttoned. Would this be
a.) the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to wewe au
b.) a Tuesday?

Everyone's awkward from time to time, but until now it's been impossible to determine, numerically, just how awkward wewe are.

Well, this Awkwardness Test is as numerical as they get, because it has numbers, and it's hard to mess up, even if wewe are still covered in wedding cake. All wewe need to do is add a point if one of these situations has happened to wewe in the past month.


•You start to tell a joke ("So this bata walks into a library..."). It turns out to be terribly inappropriate. ("Hey, my brother's in the hospital because of ducks!")

•Impossibly, someone wewe have a crush on sits down to say hello to wewe at lunch. wewe have just crammed an entire cupcake in your mouth.

•Walking down the street, wewe gradually become aware that wewe have no idea how to swing your arms.

•You gleefully shoulder your way into a whispered conversation, expecting it to be about juicy gossip. It is about a dead grandma.

•Nobody is laughing at your hilarious story. wewe panic and keep embellishing until it has killer bees in it.

•You spend far too much time on a text au barua pepe exactly flirty and suggestive enough to send to your new SO. wewe promptly mis-send it to your mom.

•You rush around a blind corner and plow directly into someone cute. Sobbing is involved. Someone requires stitches.

•You text someone with the kind of casual joke-insults wewe typically use with close friends. Your message is taken too sincerely.


•Attempting to be fun, wewe grievously wound someone; e.g. your no-look behind-the-back pass breaks your best friend's glasses au face. Add an additional point if your pass misses your friend and ricochets off a baby.

•"Hi, (Firstname!)" some good friend says to you. wewe respond: "Oh, hey, ...uh...." sekunde pass. Oh my goodness, wewe think to yourself. Caitlin? Carl? Captain Crunch? I have absolutely no idea what this person's name is. (Add an additional point if all the possible majibu collapse
together in your head and come out as something that could not possibly be a name, e.g. "Hi... Clourtleen?")



Tally up your points, one per situation.

0: Impossibly slick. Wow, wewe are the smoothest person we know! AT LYING, PROBABLY.

1-2: Cool and composed. wewe are the equivalent of putting on sunglasses and walking away in slow motion.

3-7: Ordinary. You're no zaidi au less awkward than the inayofuata person, assuming the inayofuata person is not Michael Cera.

8-10: Michael Cera. You're awkward enough that it has become endearing. Consider a film career.

11-12: Michael Cera tripping into a waiter carrying tray of pies. wewe are the essence of bumbling awkwardness. Purchase good insurance immediately.

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posted by canal
"Mason?" I whispered in his ear. "What is it?" He replyed in a soft voice. I rested my face on his shoulder "May I fall in upendo with you?" Mason stopped and looked at me like i was crazy. "Who's going to stop you" he said. I smiled and went on playing with his hair. Mason took us back to the worn out house. "Ok only a little bit longer then wewe have to get of the Mason express. "No" I moaned. He laughed and kissed my hand I used to hold onto him. After a bit zaidi walking we made it to Jonathan's house. When he looked at me I shook my head. "Fine" he said.
He stopped in front of the door and...
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posted by canal
My breathing was heavy and I couldn't help but think what's going to happen next. "Aliya I have to talk to you" Jonathan alisema nodding at a pile of rocks. When Lee finally stepped onto the ground it started raining hard. "What is it Jonathan" I ask innocently. He grins a little at the thought of something and I knew it was about me. "Do wewe know what he did to you" Jonathan finally asked after many dakika of silence. "Who the old man?" I alisema sitting on a big rock. He let out a breathy laugh " old? I thought twenty's were quite young."
My eyes widened "wow." Jonathan sat beside means grabbed...
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posted by canal
This is part two of Beyond me just to let wewe know



Jonathan grabbed my wrist and pulled into the room I was in. "Wait don' tell me this room is yours" I alisema almost begging. He nodded and fell back on the bed. I sighed. "Where do I sleep" I asked kind of hoping he'd say the floor since he obviously was sleeping in the bed. "In the kitanda if wewe want" he smiled at me before pulling the covers over his head. I crawled in the kitanda and fell asleep. Ice covered the ground almost as if it were a ice skating rink.
My breath was like smoke escaping from my lungs disguised with a white puff. I carefully made...
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posted by canal
Lol sorry just a story I wrote


Darkness rose out of the ground covering everthing in a two foot radious."Hello" I yelled with the darkness beckoning me. As I stood to my feet as saw him dark blue eyes and dark hair the fell in front of his eyes. I ran towards him but he vanished as I touched him. "No" I whispered to myself. I heard a voice that was unfurmilure. "Come to me" the soft voice said. As a sudden fog disappeared I saw him again. I walked over and put my hand on his arm. "Your real" I muttered.
He gave me a duh look and walked away. I reached my hand out slightly then dropped it back...
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posted by cubsfanjoe13
I thought about using actual minor gods, but I could not find any, so I made some up.
Prane
Prane was good at disguises. Walking down Fifth Avenue, he was wearing mortal clothes and walking like a mortal. Quickly. To the Empire State Building. Olympus. He zoned out, looking at peoples auras that tell what they are. He saw two people with a little bit of one of the gods blood in them. Maybe their ancestors were demigods. Then he saw the demigod, who was maybe in his early twenties. He realized that they were brothers at that moment. They were both children of Ares, although Prane was a full god....
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posted by adaug
Okay Another QUESTION!:
Q:Where was "Fig Newtons"invented?
A:Good QUESTION,The ANSWER is :Fig Newtons were invented in a town in Massachusetts!



SO!WHAT YA WAITING FOR?GO GET YA mitini, mtini NEWTONS!

Remember to maoni your swali and I will answer ASAP!Okay?Okay!
Now a bila mpangilio moment!:
MONKEY PANTS!!!!MONKEY PANTS!FRIED CLOWN!CHURCH PANTS!FLUBBER MONKEY!BANANA PANTS!
LOL HAHA XD!:P!HAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA
(IGNORE THIS PART I GOTTA MAKE IT LONGER!)BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
posted by Insane4ever
Its sunday morning 5 pm..i mean am...damn it....charly mc picknose was just getting out of bed

charly: *gets up,rubs eyes n opens eyes*...aaaaaah!!...what the hell lary....whatcha doing in mah room!!?!???!??!
(lary bonerhead was charlys best friend)
lary:actualy this is my room,you fell unconcious at the middle of the party
charly:what party,i dun, waliopelekwa remember anything
rock:the best party ever!!!!how do wewe not remember it
(rock....idk his last name,no one knows...is a party crasher,he will sneek into any party)
lary:what the hell!!!how did i not notice wewe rock
rock: oh i was sleeping in your bushes outside your house
jarry:rock....you idiot
(jarry lick a lot is...well...everyones friend,everyone knows him n everyone respects him....)
rock:no wewe are the idiot,idiot
(....exept rock)
jarry:how am i the idiot,i didnt sleep in the bushes....i slept in your dog house.....



End of part 1
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bila mpangilio
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added by emma-janee
added by FeelmySwagger
added by bubblegum_kiss
added by Random9747649
Source: my friend x3
posted by suzuki_reika
“Death is terrible for anyone. Young au old, good au evil, it’s all the same. Death is impartial. That’s why death is so fearsome. Your deeds, age, personality, wealth and beauty… it’s all meaningless in the face of death.”
- Shiki

“False tears bring pain to those around you. False smiles bring pain to oneself.”
- Code Geass

“The only ones who are allowed to kill are the only ones who are prepared to be killed.”
- Code Geass

“There is no such thing as coincidence. There is only necessity.”
- Tsubasa Chronicles

“The zaidi wewe try to forget, the less you’ll be able to forget.”...
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added by aldrine2016
Source: Jim Davis
added by AvatarAang97
added by tabithasb13
Source: me
added by edwardrobertcul
added by soulfire524
added by 050801090907
added by HeitsiTsegin
Source: Various