What women should tell men...but don't
1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.
2. The inayofuata time wewe and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a kura ya maoni to see which of wewe successfully aim at the toilet rim.
3. If we're watching football with wewe - it's not bonding - it's their butts.
4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever wewe have to say after the movie.
5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
7. If wewe were really looking for an honest answer, wewe wouldn't ask in bed.
8. The inayofuata time wewe make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused kwa rubber-necking mini-skirts.
9. If only women gossip, how do wewe and your Marafiki keep track of 'who's easy'?
10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.
11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.
12. We don't mind if wewe look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!
13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' inayopendelewa outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.
14. If wewe must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.
15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.
16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.
17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.
18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then wewe never want to cook?
19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.
20. Yes, we know wewe can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises au promotions were gained kwa arm wrestling the boss.
If wewe don't read this, someone else wil
1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.
2. The inayofuata time wewe and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a kura ya maoni to see which of wewe successfully aim at the toilet rim.
3. If we're watching football with wewe - it's not bonding - it's their butts.
4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever wewe have to say after the movie.
5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
7. If wewe were really looking for an honest answer, wewe wouldn't ask in bed.
8. The inayofuata time wewe make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused kwa rubber-necking mini-skirts.
9. If only women gossip, how do wewe and your Marafiki keep track of 'who's easy'?
10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.
11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.
12. We don't mind if wewe look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!
13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' inayopendelewa outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.
14. If wewe must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.
15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.
16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.
17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.
18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then wewe never want to cook?
19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.
20. Yes, we know wewe can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises au promotions were gained kwa arm wrestling the boss.
If wewe don't read this, someone else wil
(CHORUS:)We are familyI got all my sisters with meWe are familyGet up ev'rybody and singEv'ryone can see we're togetherAs we walk on by(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a featherI won't tell no lie(ALL!) all of the people around us they sayCan they be that closeJust let me state for the recordWe're giving upendo in a family dose
(CHORUS x2)Living life is fun and we've just begunTo get our share of the world's delights(HIGH!) high hopes we have for the futureAnd our goal's in sight(WE!) no we don't get depressedHere's what we call our golden ruleHave faith in wewe and the things wewe doYou won't go wrongThis is our family Jewel(REPEAT CHORUS TO FADE)
The End
•4 cups steamed Japanese rice
•strips of dried nori (seaweed)
•salt to taste
•black sesame seeds
•*for fillings:
•ume (pickled plum) / grilled salted salmon, salmoni (small chunks) / kombu no tsukudani
Preparation:
Cook steamed rice. Put about a half cup of steamed mchele in a mchele bowl. Wet your hands in water so that the mchele won't stick. Rub some salt on your hands. Place the steamed mchele on your hand and put your inayopendelewa filling, such as kombu-no-tsukudani, umeboshi, and grilled salmon, salmoni on the rice. Push the filling into the mchele lightly. Hold the mchele between your palms. Form the mchele into a round, a triangle, au a cylinder kwa pressing lightly with your both palms. Roll the mchele ball on your hands a few times, pressing lightly. wrap, upangaji pamoja the mchele ball with a strip of nori au sprinkle some sesame seeds on them.
voice: NEW FROM WHAT EVA THIS IS IT IS....... THE WHAT EVER IT IS!!!!!!!! This is made in the USA (china) made totaly kwa americans (aliens) and it total IS NOT toxic!!!!!
Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...
voice: LOVED IT!
Girl's friend: wewe got the what ever it is?
Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.
Girl's friend: what does it do?
Girl: I don't know. But I upendo it!
Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if wewe call right now we will also send wewe a what ever wewe call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 zaidi dollers shiping and handleing! wewe GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever wewe call it! CALL NOW!!!
other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever wewe call it have wewe credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...
voice: LOVED IT!
Girl's friend: wewe got the what ever it is?
Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.
Girl's friend: what does it do?
Girl: I don't know. But I upendo it!
Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if wewe call right now we will also send wewe a what ever wewe call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 zaidi dollers shiping and handleing! wewe GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever wewe call it! CALL NOW!!!
other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever wewe call it have wewe credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!