bila mpangilio Club
jiunge
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my orodha of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let wewe know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything au eating anything wewe might spit it au something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the ufagio late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's inayopendelewa vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the uyoga have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do wewe call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do wewe call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do wewe make an octopus giggle ten times?
wewe give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do wewe make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's inayopendelewa composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between wewe and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't wewe hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher alisema it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the nyanya blush?
It saw the saladi dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do wewe know if it's raining Cats and dogs?
wewe step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do wewe know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do wewe get Pikachu on a bus?
wewe Pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't wewe dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do wewe call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
wewe boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton kuvuka, msalaba the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do wewe call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's pink and fluffy?
pink fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
pink fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when wewe drink 7 coca colas?
wewe burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the samaki say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't wewe trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope wewe liked them. Make sure wewe check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
added by Mollymolata
video
bila mpangilio
total solar eclipse
weirdest
juu 10
WatchMojo
added by Crazedsitcomfan
added by Crazedsitcomfan
added by Crazedsitcomfan
posted by CullenProperty
60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1) For all we talk about how hot guys are. We mostly care about there personality. Though a hot body is a plus

2) We are just as shy as wewe are about relationships

3) Many of us don't let wewe see us cry, unless we want wewe to comfort us

4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if wewe are interested. But we will later deny it au make it into a joke

5) Most of us prefer to be call beautiful than hot au sexy. But not all of us

6) We only wear mini skirts, tank tops and skimpy cloths for wewe (unless it's REALLY REALLY hot outside). So if wewe don't like what we wear...
continue reading...
added by 16falloutboy
Source: Google
found this on the web:


10 Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!


9 The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces au twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"


8 A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did wewe get that?"

The pig replied,

"I won her in a raffle!"


7 A person went into the office jikoni one morning and found a new blonde girl painting...
continue reading...
44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make wewe tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are wewe remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with wewe when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves wewe more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her Marafiki say i upendo her zaidi than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
continue reading...
I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask wewe say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing shati sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
continue reading...
added by xxXsk8trXxx
Okay! Hi! I'm AzulaFanboi (A TOTAL NEWB) and thought I would start things off with a BANG and lay out how much of a FREAK I am. I am a pansexual male soooo... yeah this might get a little weird. lol
These men are just sexy to me and I NEED to share them with the world m'kay?
Also, I have an obsession with hair... so... yeah... be prepared for that.

P.S. Ya'll should totally check out my home-boy kataralover's article, which was totally my inspiration. Here is the link to his ranking of sexy men (although he calls his handsome). wewe may see some crossovers! XD




100.    Shunsuke...
continue reading...
We're all familiar with the term damsel in distress and we usually think about a female character that's tied to the train tracks kwa a villain with a curly-q mustache, and has to be saved kwa the dashing hero. I wonder where the idea first came from. We've always seen this with female characters because female damsels in distress have been around since the dawn of literature itself. However, during the mid au late 1900's, we've discovered that there are male characters that have to constantly be saved as well. What's the term for male damsel's in distress? There isn't one, even though some people...
continue reading...
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by MrOrange16
Source: seriouspleasures.tumblr.com
added by KateKicksAss
posted by Mallory101
Just some of my favorite quotes.
------------------------------------------------


•Dance like your vagina's on fire.

•Don't be a dick just grow one.

•He haunts me like a nightmare, his image is everywhere, he doesn't leave me alone, i can't escape him au erase him, when i know he's not coming
home.

•If wewe want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've done.

•How can I go mbele when I don't know which way I'm facing.

•No one is free, Even the birds are chained to the sky.

•And the feeling when I'm with you,right there, is the exact reason why I never gave up...
continue reading...