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I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if wewe do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.

Enjoy!

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6 Ways On How To Deal With papa Attacks:

1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
More than 99% of papa attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if wewe are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.

2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there...
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posted by mehere
Im sorry if wewe dont like me Im sorry if wewe think I suck but most of all Im sorry, I dont give a fuck

Worry about your character and not your reputation, because your character is who wewe are, and your reputation is only what people think of you.

I think Ive finally come to the point in my life where Im happy with myself and know that I dont have to change au be a certain way for people to like me anymore. Im just fine and if someone doesnt think I am, screw them.

If wewe don't like my words, don't listen. If wewe don't like my appearance, don't look. If wewe don't like my actions, turn your head; It's as simple as that.

Although Ive been hurt I still remain strong. wewe think I have regrets? Well, youre wrong.
Note; This song is based off of My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic's very own Pinkie Pie's song, 'Giggle at the Ghostie'.

Come on, Fanpop, don't wewe see!
When I was a little silly and the trolls would bring me down!
Their malice and their hatred was starting to make me frown!
I'd cry in my own bedroom, from what I thought I read! But this shouldn't be the reason that I should end up dead!
They say, "Phoenix, wewe gotta stand up tall, and deal with these dumb fags! They're just idiots who try to be a dirtbag!"
'Teehee' at the Troll!
Do a barrel roll!
Slap the swearing jerks!
Always have your perks!
Ignore the idiot!
ripoti the hypocrite!
And tell that stupid jerk to leave wewe alone
And GTFO off the computer because if they don't they got another thing coming for them and TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLL!
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan them!

Now don't let those trolls get to you. Kick their asses and get them off of fanpop and ze internetz. :3
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat au drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why wewe have no food.

FRIENDS: Would bail wewe out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting inayofuata to wewe sayin "DAMN!"were screwed"!

FRIENDS: Have never seen wewe cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else wewe cried...just laugh about it with wewe in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks wewe to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has wewe on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:...
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1. Every siku at school is the same
2. wewe never know if your braids look digusting au not
3. wewe are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. wewe would like to think that people notice au even think about wewe but wewe are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows au cares about
5. wewe worry people will write nasty maoni on your fanpop makala that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all wewe do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When wewe only really have like 3 Marafiki at school and 2 of them...
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This is a true story of Mother’s Sacrifice during the China Earthquake.
After the Earthquake had subsided, when the rescuers reached the ruins of a young woman’s house, they saw her dead body through the cracks. But her pose was somehow strange that she knelt on her knees like a person was worshiping; her body was leaning forward, and her two hands were supporting kwa an object. The collapsed house had crashed her back and her head.

With so many difficulties, the leader of the rescuer team put his hand through a narrow gap on the ukuta to reach the woman’s body. He was hoping that this woman...
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1) Lean over them when there asleep and sing a lullaby really loud and out of tune.

2) Every five dakika yell "The aliens are coming!"

3) Choose a specifice piece of cutlery (eg. a fork) and stare accusingly at that item every time wewe see it.

4) Buy face paints and paint their face when there asleep. Try doing something the person is afriad of. (eg. clown, zombie)

5) Announce that wewe are actually a secret agent, spying on somone who lives in your house.

6) Call your house number and announce that wewe are going on strike. If they ask for a reason, hang up. Caution: Make sure wewe dont get a wrong number!!

7) Put ice cubes in everyone's warm drink.

8) Every time they speak interrupt them with "Curiosity killed the cat."

9) Set alarms on your mobile/cell phone that go off every 10 minutes.
posted by MJlover101
-New York City has 11 letters.

-Afghanistan has 11 letters.

-Ramsin Yuseb (the terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.

-George W kichaka has 11 letters.

-The Twin Towers make an "11",

-New York is the 11th state.

-The first plane that crashed into the Twin Towers was flight number 11.

-Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. (9+2=11)

-Flight 77 which also hit the Twin Towers was carrying 65 passengers. (6+5=11)

-The tradegy was September 11, au 9/11. (9+1+1=11)

-The total number of victims inside the planes was 254. (2+4+5=11)

-September 11 is the 254th siku of the year....
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Note:I wrote that only for fun! i don't even believe if the world is going to end in 2012 cause God only knows when! so don't put stupid maoni please!


-How to Survive:

1-Make sure that you've got a back pack full of chakula and drink

2-Build a room under the ground make sure,that it's ready to use.

3-Sell your Home

4-If your mum au dad is a Doctor ask him/her to teach wewe some stuff about nursing

5-go to the room wewe built under the ground and put some chakula and drinks there!

6-When the siku comes! go to the room wewe built under the ground at 4:00 am before the sun comes!


How to get Ready:(2 Days before...
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do this stuff if u dare but it would be funny 2 c
something like this happen i also made this up myself

1. start caramelldansen in the middle of the store

2. go up 2 a bila mpangilio person and hand them a paper
that says death on it when u hand it 2 them say
wakarimasen (i don't understand) in a really weird
voice then run away

3. sing a really annoying song at the juu of your lungs repeatedly

4. follow bila mpangilio people all over the store au where ever they go except the bathroom (that would just be
creepy)

5. say there u r i was looking all over 4 u and glomp (hug some 1 really tight) a bila mpangilio person

6. go up...
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posted by Ninjacupcake
Hate is everywhere. It can be because of race, gender au if someone is gay/lesbian/bi. Sadly, a lot of us have to live with it. What I want to speak about are the hatings of people with different sexual orientations.

Most of wewe have heard Born This Way kwa Lady Gaga. I want to say that everyone IS beautiful in their way cause God makes no mistakes. Even though I'm straight, that does NOT mean that I hate others. I upendo everyone. It makes me mad, but also sad, because that's a human being wewe are hating. They have red blood when they bleed, need chakula when they are hungry, and DANG, their poop...
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posted by iluvsmj
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do wewe want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take wewe out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call wewe sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give wewe a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why wewe are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are wewe going through now?

"I upendo you, too." = Okay, I alisema it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I...
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this is something that was in the news box on yahoo.



New term: mom-zilla. We know all about temporary bridal insanity, and the underreported groom version, but in some families, it’s the parents who are seized kwa irrational wedding meltdowns.

Last month, 60-year-old British florist and total mom-zilla, Carolyn Bourne attacked. After her stepson’s bride-to-be, Heidi Withers, was a guest in her house she had a thing au two to teach her before she entered the Bourne family.

So Bourne sent the 29-year-old a soul-crushing email. The subject line: “Your lack of manners.” The bullet points...
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1.You abuse our upendo wewe lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we upendo him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our upendo is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we upendo be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape au form.
6.Guys wewe should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with wewe (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly upendo we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When wewe (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
Just kusoma some of the Terminator nukuu through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!


Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash siku tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.


I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. wewe might get annoyed kwa it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
posted by iamagagamonster
~ In my opinion! alright! wewe can think what ever wewe can think about the heros on here ~

5. Batman: The majority of people upendo batman, I go for Superman. Batman dosn't even have super powers he only has gadjets [spelling?] and gizmos. One siku he's gona be in deep danger and then he won't be able to reach his "special" button. Without the help of his sidekick, which brings me to my inayofuata hero

4. Robin: Robin is a superhero named after a migratory songbird that wewe can find in your backyard and feed bird seed to. Can someone tell me why they would name Batman’s sidekick after a songbird? What...
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How to Tell if a Guy likes You
How to Know that a Guy Likes You

Here are the 500 ways to tell if a guy likes You....

01. He smiles at wewe a lot.

02. He likes talking to you.

03. He compliments wewe a lot.

04. He always agrees with you.

05. He asks if wewe are single.

06. He asks wewe out for lunch.

07. He asks wewe out on a date.

08. He knows your zodiac sign.

09. He never burps around you.

10. He really cares about you.

11. He treats wewe like a lady.

12. He walks wewe to your door.

13. He wants to see wewe often.

14. He always wants to hug you.

15. He tells wewe he likes you.

16. His Marafiki know...
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posted by sierradawn9
Ok, so I'm a redhead. I have freckles and light skin. So I'm considered ginger. Until a few weeks ago, I didn't even know what that term meant.
 I learned what it meant when I was on the bus and this guy took something from me. He alisema he wouldn't give it back until I admitted I was a ginger. So I alisema "I'm a ginger...?", and he yelled "You have no soooouuul!"
 That got me mad, sad, and confused.
 Seriously guys. Really? Just because some (and I do mean some) redheads have attitudes and act bitchy, that does NOT give wewe the right to make a stereotype out of the rest of us redheads.
 I'm not...
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10. When being pulled over kwa a cop and he au she says, "Sir(/)Ma'am, wewe have been caught speeding, how much do wewe think wewe were going?" Don't say, "Well wewe must've gone AT LEAST 90 to catch up with me."

9. When your teacher asks where your homework is when wewe haven't handed it in don't say, "My dog ate my homework." That's the oldest excuse in the book. Plus, nobody ever buys it unless they are a complete moron au born yesterday.

8. When your older sister is having her period au PMS-ing don't say, "Hey sis, have wewe been putting on a little weight?" It's a bitch, kahaba slap waiting to happen.

7....
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posted by greenstergirl
1. I asked God for a bike. But I know God doesn't work that way. So I aliiba a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag wewe down and beat wewe with experience.

3. Going to church doesn't make wewe Christian even zaidi then standing in a karakana makes wewe a car.

4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Its still on the orodha though.

5. war does not determine who is right- only who is left.

6. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, please notify....." I put DOCTOR.

7.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at nyumbani even if...
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