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posted by cajas
Chapter 23. THE TRUTH
I HAD THE SENSE THAT I'D BEEN ASLEEP FOR A VERY long timeā€”my body was stiff, like I hadn't moved once through all that time, either. My mind was dazed and slow; strange, colorful dreamsā€”dreams and nightmaresā€”swirled dizzily around the inside of my head. They were so vivid. The horrible and the heavenly, all mixed together into a bizarre jumble. There was sharp impatience and fear, both part of that frustrating dream where your feet can't songesha fast enoughā€¦ And there were plenty of monsters, red-eyed fiends that were all the zaidi ghastly for their genteel civility. The dream was still strongā€”I could even remember the names. But the strongest, clearest part of the dream was not the horror. It was the Angel that was most clear.
It was hard to let him go and wake up. This dream did not want to be shoved away into the kuba of dreams I refused to revisit. I struggled with it as my mind became zaidi alert, focusing on reality. I couldn't remember what siku of the week it was, but I was sure Jacob au school au work au something was waiting for me. I inhaled deeply, wondering how to face another day.
Something cold touched my forehead with the softest pressure.
I squeezed my eyes zaidi tightly shut. I was still dreaming, it seemed, and it felt abnormally real. I was so close to wakingā€¦ any sekunde now, and it would be gone.
But I realized that it felt too real, too real to be good for me. The stone arms I imagined wrapped around me were far too substantial. If I let this go any further, I'd be sorry for it later. With a resigned sigh, I wrenched back my eyelids to dispel the illusion.
"Oh!" I gasped, and threw my fists over my eyes.
Well, clearly, I'd gone too far; it must have been a mistake to let my imagination get so out of hand.
Okay, so "let" was the wrong word. I'd forced it to get out of handā€”pretty much stalked my hallucinationsā€”and now my mind had snapped.
It took less than half a sekunde for me to realize that, as long as I was truly insane now, I might as well enjoy the delusions while they were pleasant.
I opened my eyes againā€”and Edward was still there, his perfect face just inches away from mine.
"Did I frighten you?" His low voice was anxious. This was very good, as delusions went. The face, the voice, the scent, everythingā€”it was so much better than drowning. The beautiful figment of my imagination watched my changing expressions, with alarm. His irises were pitch-black, with bruise-like shadows under them. This surprised me; my hallucinatory Edwards were usually better fed.
I blinked twice, desperately trying to remember the last thing that I was sure was real. Alice was part of my dream, and I wondered if she had really come back at all, au if that was just the preamble. I thought she'd returned the siku I'd nearly drownedā€¦
"Oh, crap" I croaked. My throat was thick with sleeping.
"What's wrong, Bella?"
I frowned at him unhappily. His face was even zaidi anxious than before.
"I'm dead, right?" I moaned. "I did drown. Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill Charlie."
Edward frowned, too. "You're not dead."
"Then why am I not waking up?" I challenged, raising my eyebrows.
"You are awake, Bella."
I shook my head. "Sure, sure. That's what wewe want me to think. And then it will be worse when I do wake up. If I wake up, which I won't, because I'm dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renee and Jakeā€¦" I trailed off in horror at what I had done.
"I can see where wewe might confuse me with a nightmare." His short-lived smile was grim. "But I can't imagine what wewe could have done to wind up in hell. Did wewe commit many murders while I was away?"
I grimaced. "Obviously not. If I was in hell, wewe wouldn't be with me."
He sighed.
My head was getting clearer. My eyes flickered away from his faceā€”unwillinglyā€”for one second, to the dark, open window, and then back to him. I started to remember detailsā€¦ and I felt a faint, unfamiliar blush warm the skin over my cheekbones as I slowly realized that Edward was really, truly here with me, and I was wasting time being an idiot.
"Did all of that really happen, then?" It was almost impossible to reassign my dream as reality. I couldn't wrap, upangaji pamoja my head around the concept.
"That depends." Edward's smile was still hard. "If you're referring to us nearly being massacred in Italy, then, yes."
"How strange," I mused. "I really went to Italy. Did wewe know I'd never been farther east than Albuquerque?"
He rolled his eyes. "Maybe wewe should go back to sleep. You're not coherent."
"I'm not tired anymore." It was all coming clear now. "What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?"
"It's just after one in the morning. So, about fourteen hours."
I stretched as he spoke. I was so stiff.
"Charlie?" I asked.
Edward frowned. "Sleeping. wewe should probably know that I'm breaking the rules right now. Well, not technically, since he alisema I was never to walk through his door again, and I came in the windowā€¦ But, still, the intent was clear."
"Charlie banned wewe from the house?" I asked, disbelief quickly melting into fury.
His eyes were sad. "Did wewe expect anything else?"
My eyes were mad. I was going to have a few words with my fatherā€”perhaps it would be a good time to remind him that I was over the legal age of adulthood. It didn't matter so much, of course, except in principle. All too soon there would be no reason for the prohibition. I turned my thoughts to less painful avenues.
"What's the story?" I asked, genuinely curious, but also trying desperately to keep the conversation casual, to keep a firm grip on myself, so I wouldn't scare him away with the frantic, gnawing craving that was raging inside me.
"What do wewe mean?"
"What am I telling Charlie? What's my excuse for disappearing forā€¦ how long was I gone, anyway?" I tried to count the hours in my head.
"Just three days." His eyes tightened, but he smiled zaidi naturally this time. "Actually, I was hoping wewe might have a good explanation. I've got nothing."
I groaned. "Fabulous."
"Well, maybe Alice will come up with something," he offered, trying to comfort me.
And I was comforted. Who cared what I had to deal with later? Every sekunde that he was hereā€”so close, his flawless face glowing in the dim light from the numbers on my alarm clockā€”was precious and not to be wasted.
"So," I began, picking the least importantā€”though still vitally interestingā€”question to start with. I was safely delivered home, and he might decide to leave at any moment. I had to keep him talking. Besides, this temporary heaven wasn't entirely complete without the sound of his voice. "What have wewe been doing, up until three days ago?"
His face turned wary in an instant. "Nothing terribly exciting."
"Of course not," I mumbled.
"Why are wewe making that face?"
"Wellā€¦" I pursed my lips, considering. "If wewe were, after all, just a dream, that's exactly the kind of thing wewe would say. My imagination must be used up."
He sighed. "If I tell you, will wewe finally believe that you're not having a nightmare?"
"Nightmare!" I repeated scornfully. He waited for my answer. "Maybe," I alisema after a sekunde of thought.
"If wewe tell me."
"I wasā€¦ hunting."
"Is that the best wewe can do?" I criticized. "That definitely doesn't prove I'm awake."
He hesitated, and then spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. "I wasn't hunting fot foodā€¦ I was actually trying my hand atā€¦ tracking. I'm not very good at it."
"What were wewe tracking?" I asked, intrigued.
"Nothing of consequence." His words didn't match his expression; he looked upset, uncomfortable.
"I don't understand."
He hesitated; his face, shining with an odd green cast from the light of the clock, was torn.
"Iā€”" He took a deep breath. "I owe wewe an apology. No, of course I owe wewe much, much zaidi than that. But wewe have to know,"ā€”the words began to flow so fast, the way I remembered he spoke sometimes when he was agitated, that I really had to concentrate to catch them allā€”"that I had no idea. I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was salama for wewe here. So safe. I had no idea that
Victoria,"ā€”his lips curled back when he alisema the nameā€”"would come back. I'll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much zaidi attention to James's thoughts. But I just didn't see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him. I think I realize why nowā€”she was so sure of him, the thought of him failing never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feelings about himā€”that kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there.
"Not that there's any excuse for what I left wewe to face. When I heard what wewe told Aliceā€”what she saw herselfā€”when I realized that wewe had to put your life in the hands of werewolves, immature, volatile, the worst thing out there besides Victoria herselfā€”he shuddered and the gush of words halted for a short second. "Please know that I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see and feel wewe salama in my arms. I am the most miserable excuse forā€”"
"Stop," I interrupted him. He stared at me with agonized eyes, and I tried to find the right wordsā€”the words that would free him from this imagined obligation that caused him so much pain. They were very hard words to say. I didn't know if I could get them out without breaking down. But I had to try to do it right. I didn't want to be a chanzo of guilt and anguish in his life. He should be happy, no matter what it cost me.
I'd really been hoping to put off this part of our last conversation. It was going to bring things to an end so much sooner.
Drawing on all my months of practice with trying to be normal for Charlie, I kept my face smooth.
"Edward," I said. His name burned my throat a little on the way out. I could feel the ghost of the hole, waiting to rip itself wide again as soon as he disappeared. I didn't quite see how I was going to survive it this time. "This has to stop now. wewe can't think about things that way. wewe can't let thisā€¦ this guiltā€¦ rule your life. wewe can't take responsibility for the things that happen to me here. None of it is your fault, it's just part of how life is for me. So, if I trip in front of a bus au whatever it is inayofuata time, wewe have to realize that it's not your job to take the blame. wewe can't just go running off to Italy because wewe feel bad that wewe didn't save me. Even if I had jumped off that cliff to die, that would have been my choice, and not your fault. I know it's yourā€¦ your nature to shoulder the blame for everything, but wewe really can't let that make wewe go to such extremes! It's very irresponsibleā€”think of Esme and Carlisle andā€”"
I was on the edge of losing it. I stopped to take a deep breath, hoping to calm myself. I had to set him free. I had to make sure this never happened again.
"Isabella Marie Swan," he whispered, the strangest expression crossing his face. He almost looked mad.
"Do wewe believe that I asked the Volturi to kill me because I felt guilty?"
I could feel the blank incomprehension on my face. "Didn't you?"
"Feel guilty? Intensely so. zaidi than wewe can comprehend."
"Thenā€¦ what are wewe saying? I don't understand."
"Bella, I went to the Volturi because I thought wewe were dead," he said, voice soft, eyes fierce. "Even if I'd had no hand in your death"ā€”he shuddered as he whispered the last wordā€”"even if it wasn't my fault, I would have gone to Italy. Obviously, I should have been zaidi carefulā€”I should have spoken to Alice directly, rather than accepting it secondhand from Rosalie. But, really, what was I supposed to think when the boy alisema Charlie was at the funeral? What are the odds?
"The oddsā€¦" he muttered then, distracted. His voice was so low I wasn't sure I beard it right. "The odds are always stacked against us. Mistake after mistake. I'll never criticize Romeo again."
"But I still don't understand," I said. "That's my whole point. So what?"
"Excuse me?"
"So what if I was dead?"
He stared at me dubiously for a long moment before answering. "Don't wewe remember anything I told wewe before?"
"I remember everything that wewe told me." Including the words that had negated all the rest.
He brushed the tip of his cool finger against my lower lip. "Bella, wewe seem to be under a misapprehension." He closed his eyes, shaking his head back and forth with half a smile on his beautiful face. It wasn't a happy smile. "I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Bella, I can't live in a world where wewe don't exist."
"I amā€¦" My head swam as I looked for the appropriate word. "Confused." That worked. I couldn't make sense of what he was saying.
He stared deep into my eyes with his sincere, earnest gaze. "I'm a good liar, Bella, I have to be."
I froze, my muscles locking down as if for impact. The fault line in my chest rippled; the pain of it took my breath away.
He shook my shoulder, trying to loosen my rigid pose. "Let me finish! I'm a good liar, but still, for wewe to believe me so quickly." He winced. "That wasā€¦ excruciating."
I waited, still frozen.
"When we were in the forest, when I was telling wewe goodbyeā€”"
I didn't allow myself to remember. I fought to keep myself in the present sekunde only.
"You weren't going to let go," he whispered. "I could see that. I didn't want to do itā€”it felt like it would kill me to do itā€”but I knew that if I couldn't convince wewe that I didn't upendo wewe anymore, it would just take wewe that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if wewe thought I'd moved on, so would you."
"A clean break," I whispered through unmoving lips.
"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be inayofuata to impossibleā€”that wewe would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm so sorryā€”sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect wewe from what I an. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry. "But how could wewe believe me? After all the thousand times I've told wewe I upendo you, how could wewe let one word break your faith in me?"
I didn't answer. I was too shocked to form a rational response.
"I could see it in your eyes, that wewe honestly believed that I didn't want wewe anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous conceptā€”as if there were anu way that I could exist without needing you!"
I was still frozen. His words were incomprehensible, because they were impossible.
He shook my shoulder again, not hard, but enough that my teeth rattled a little.
"Bella," he sighed. "Really, what were wewe thinking!"
And so I started to cry. The tears welled up and then gushed miserably down my cheeks.
"I knew it," I sobbed. "I knew I was dreaming."
"You're impossible," he said, and he laughed onceā€”a hard laugh, frustrated. "How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I upendo you. I have always loved you, and I will always upendo you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every sekunde that I was away. When I told wewe that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."
I shook my head while the tears continued to ooze from the corners of my eyes.
"You don't believe me, do you?" he whispered, his face paler than his usual paleā€”I could see that even in the dim light. "Why can wewe believe the lie, but not the truth?"
"It never made sense for wewe to upendo me," I explained, my voice breaking twice. "I always knew that."
His eyes narrowed, his jaw tightened.
"I'll prove you're awake," he promised.
He caught my face securely between his iron hands, ignoring my struggles when I tried to turn my head away.
"Please don't," I whispered.
He stopped, his lips just half an inch from mine.
"Why not?" he demanded. His breath blew into my face, making my head whirl.
"When I wake up"ā€”He opened his mouth to protest, so I revisedā€”"okay, forget that oneā€”when wewe leave again, it's going to be hard enough without this, too."
He pulled back an inch, to stare at my face.
"Yesterday, when I would touch you, wewe were soā€¦ hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt wewe too much? Because wewe have moved on, as I meant for wewe to? That would beā€¦ quite fair. I won't contest your decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, pleaseā€”just tell me now whether au not wewe can still upendo me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" he whispered.
"What kind of an idiotic swali is that?"
"Just answer it. Please."
I stared at him darkly for a long moment. "The way I feel about wewe will never change. Of course I upendo youā€”and there's nothing wewe can do about it!"
"That's all I needed to hear."
His mouth was on mine then, and I couldn't fight him. Not because he was so many thousand times stronger than me, but because my will crumbled into dust the sekunde our lips met. This kiss was not quite as careful as others I remembered, which suited me just fine. If I was going to rip myself up further, I might as well get as much in trade as possible. So I kissed him back, my moyo pounding out a jagged, disjointed rhythm while my breathing turned to panting and my fingers moved greedily to his face. I could feel his marble body against every line of mine, and I was so glad he hadn't listened to meā€”there was no pain in the world that would have justified missing this. His hands memorized my face, the same way mine were tracing his, and, in the brief sekunde when his lips were free, he whispered my name. When I was starting to get dizzy, he pulled away, only to lay his ear against my heart. I lay there, dazed, waiting for my gasping to slow and quiet. "By the way," he alisema in a casual tone. "I'm not leaving you."
I didn't say anything, and he seemed to hear skepticism in my silence.
He lifted his face to lock my gaze in his. "I'm not going anywhere. Not without you," he added zaidi seriously.
"I only left wewe in the first place because I wanted wewe to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to youā€”keeping wewe constantly on the edge of danger, taking wewe away from the world wewe belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadn't thought wewe would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. I'm much too selfish. Only wewe could be zaidi important than what I wantedā€¦ what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I'll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stayā€”thank heaven for that! It seems wewe can't be
safe, no matter how many miles I put between us."
"Don't promise me anything," I whispered. If I let myself hope, and it came to nothingā€¦ that would kill me. Where all those merciless Wanyonya damu had not been able to finish me off, hope would do the job.
Anger glinted metallic in his black eyes. "You think I'm lying to wewe now?"
"Noā€”not lying." I shook my head, trying to think it through coherently. To examine the hypothesis that
he did upendo me, while staying objective, clinical, so I wouldn't fall into the trap of hoping. "You could mean itā€¦ now. But what about tomorrow, when wewe think about all the reasons wewe left in the first place? au inayofuata month, when Jasper takes a snap at me?"
He flinched.
I thought back over those last days of my life before he left me, tried to see them through the filter of what he was telling me now. From that perspective, imagining that he'd left me while loving me, left me for me, his brooding and cold silences took on a different meaning. "It isn't as if wewe hadn't thought the first decision through, is it?" I guessed. "You'll end up doing what wewe think is right."
"I'm not as strong as wewe give me credit for," he said. "Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me; I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, au even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of timeā€”and not much of itā€”before I showed up at your window and begged wewe to take me back. I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like that."
I grimaced. "Be serious, please."
"Oh, I am," he insisted, glaring now. "Will wewe please try to hear what I'm telling you? Will wewe let me attempt to explain what wewe mean to me?"
He waited, studying my face as he spoke to make sure I was really listening.
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were starsā€”points of light and reasonā€¦ And then wewe shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When wewe were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded kwa the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no zaidi reason for anything."
I wanted to believe him. But this was my life without him that he was describing, not the other way around.
"Your eyes will adjust," I mumbled.
"That's just the problemā€”they can't."
"What about your distractions?"
He laughed without a trace of humor. "Just part of the lie, love. There was no distraction from theā€¦ the agony. My moyo hasn't beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my moyo was goneā€”like I was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you."
"That's funny," I muttered.
He arched one perfect eyebrow. "Funny? "
"I meant strangeā€”I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I haven't been able to really breathe in so long." I filled my lungs, luxuriating in the sensation. "And my heart. That was definitely lost."
He closed his eyes and laid his ear over my moyo again. I let my cheek press against his hair, felt the texture of it on my skin, smelled the delicious scent of him.
"Tracking wasn't a distraction then?" I asked, curious, and also needing to distract myself. I was very much in danger of hoping. I wouldn't be able to stop myself for long. My moyo throbbed, imba in my chest.
"No." He sighed. "That was never a distraction. It was an obligation."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that, even though I never expected any danger from Victoria, I wasn't going to let her get away withā€¦ Well, like I said, I was horrible at it. I traced her as far as Texas, but then I followed a false lead down to Brazilā€”and really she came here." He groaned. "I wasn't even on the right continent! And all the while, worse than my worst fearsā€”"
"You were hunting Victoria?" I half-shrieked as soon as I could find my voice, shooting through two octaves.
Charlie's distant snores stuttered, and then picked up a regular rhythm again.
"Not well," Edward answered, studying my outraged expression with a confused look. "But I'll do better this time. She won't be tainting perfectly good air kwa breathing in and out for much longer."
"That isā€¦ out of the question," I managed to choke out. Insanity. Even if he had Emmett au Jasper help him. Even if he had Emmett and Jasper help. It was worse than my other imaginings: Jacob Black standing across a small space from Victoria's vicious and feline figure. I couldn't kubeba to picture Edward there, even though he was so much zaidi durable than my half-human best friend.
"It's too late for her. I might have let the other time slide, but not now, not afterā€”"
I interrupted him again, trying to sound calm. "Didn't wewe just promise that wewe weren't going to leave?" I asked, fighting the words as I alisema them, nor letting them plant themselves in my heart. "That isn't exactly compatible with an extended tracking expedition, is it?"
He frowned. A snarl began to build low in his chest. "I will keep my promise, Bella. But Victoria"ā€”the snarl became zaidi pronouncedā€”"is going to die. Soon."
"Let's not be hasty," I said, trying to hide my panic. "Maybe she's not coming back. Jake's pack probably scared her off. There's really no reason to go looking for her. Besides, I've got bigger problems than Victoria."
Edward's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "It's true. The mtu-bweha are a problem."
I snorted. "I wasn't talking about Jacob. My problems are a lot worse that a handful of adolescent Mbwa mwitu loups getting themselves into trouble."
Edward looked as if he were about to say something, and then thought better of it. His teeth clicked together, and he spoke through them. "Really?" he asked. "Then what would be your greatest problem?
That would make Victoria's returning for wewe seem like such an inconsequential matter in comparison?"
"How about the sekunde greatest?" I hedged.
"All right," he agreed, suspicious.
I paused. I wasn't sure I could say the name. "There are others who are coming to look for me," I reminded him in a subdued whisper.
He sighed, but the reaction was not as strong as I would have imagined after his response to Victoria.
"The Volturi are only the sekunde greatest?"
"You don't seem that upset about it," I noted.
"Well, we have plenty of time to think it through. Time means something very different to them than it does to you, au even me. They count years the way wewe count days. I wouldn't be surprised if wewe were thirty before wewe crossed their minds again," he added lightly.
Horror washed through me.
Thirty.
So his promises meant nothing, in the end. If I were going to turn thirty someday, then he couldn't be planning on staying long. The harsh pain of this knowledge made me realize that I'd already begun to hope, without giving myself permission to do 5.0.
"You don't have to be afraid," he said, anxious as he watched the tears dew up again on the rims of my eyes. "I won't let them hurt you."
"While you're here." Not that I cared what happened to me when he left.
He took my face between his two stone hands, holding it tightly while his midnight eyes glared into mine with the gravitational force of a black hole. "I will never leave wewe again."
"But wewe alisema thirty," I whispered. The tears leaked over the edge. "What? You're going to stay, but let me get all old anyway? Right."
His eyes softened, while his mouth went hard. "That's exactly what I'm going to do. What choice have I?
I cannot be without you, but I will not destroy your soul."
"Is this reallyā€¦" I tried to keep my voice even, but this swali was too hard. I remembered his face when Aro had almost begged him to consider making me immortal. The sick look there. Was this fixation with keeping me human really about my soul, au was it because he wasn't sure that he wanted me around that long?
"Yes?" he asked, waiting for my question.
I asked a different one. Almostā€”but not quiteā€”as hard.
"But what about when I get so old that people think I'm your mother? Your grandmother?" My voice was pale with revulsionā€”I could see Gran's face again in the dream mirror.
His whole face was soft now. He brushed the tears from my cheek with his lips. "That doesn't mean
anything to me," he breathed against my skin. "You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world. Of courseā€¦" He hesitated, flinching slightly. "If wewe outgrew meā€”if wewe wanted something moreā€”I would understand that, Bella. I promise I wouldn't stand in your way if wewe wanted to leave me."
His eyes were liquid onyx and utterly sincere. He spoke as if he'd put endless amounts of thought into this asinine plan.
"You do realize that I'll die eventually, right?" I demanded.
He'd thought about this part, too. "I'll follow after as soon as I can."
"That is seriouslyā€¦"I looked for the right word. "Sick."
"Bella, it's the only right way leftā€”"
"Let's just back up for a minute," I said; feeling angry made it so much easier to be clear, decisive. "You do remember the Volturi, right? I can't stay human forever. They'll kill me. Even if they don't think of me tillI'm thirty"ā€”I hissed the wordā€”"do wewe really think they'll forget?"
"No," he answered slowly, shaking his head. "They won't forget. Butā€¦"
"But?"
He grinned while I stared at him warily. Maybe I wasn't the only crazy one.
"I have a few plans."
"And these plans," I said, my voice getting zaidi acidic with each word. "These plans all center around me staying human."
My attitude hardened his expression. "Naturally." His tone was brusque, his divine face arrogant.
We glowered at each other for a long minute.
Then I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, I pushed his arms away so that I could sit up.
"Do wewe want me to leave?" he asked, and it made my moyo flutter to see that this idea hurt him, though he tried not to onyesha it.
"No," I told him. "I'm leaving."
He watched me suspiciously as I climbed out of the kitanda and fumbled around in the dark room, looking for my shoes.
"May I ask where wewe are going.'" he asked.
"I'm going to your house," I told him, still feeling around blindly.
He got up and came to my side. "Here are your shoes. How did wewe plan to get there?"
"My truck."
"That will probably wake Charlie," he offered as a deterrent.
I sighed. "I know. But honestly, I'll be grounded for weeks as it is. How much zaidi trouble can I really getin?"
"None. He'll blame me, not you."
"If wewe have a better idea, I'm all ears."
"Stay here," he suggested, but his expression wasn't hopeful.
"No dice. But wewe go ahead and make yourself at home," I encouraged, surprised at how natural my
teasing sounded, and headed for the door.
He was there before me, blocking my way.
I frowned, and turned for the window. It wasn't really that far to the ground, and it was mostly nyasi beneathā€¦
"Okay," he sighed. "I'll give wewe a ride."
I shrugged. "Either way. But wewe probably should be there, too."
"And why is that?"
"Because you're extraordinarily opinionated, and I'm sure you'll want a chance to air your views."
"My maoni on which subject?" He asked through his teeth.
"This isn't just about wewe anymore. You're not the center of the universe, wewe know." My own personal universe was, of course, a different story. "If you're going to bring the Volturi down on us over something as stupid as leaving me human, then your family ought to have a say."
"A say in what?" he asked, each word distinct.
"My mortality. I'm putting it to a vote."
posted by LexisFaith
I'M BACK!!! WOO HOO!!!
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Bella's POV

Last night I did something I hadn't doe since Edward had come nyumbani a week ago. I cried myself to sleep. Edwards words were still taunting me. 'And I like Miss Elena.' I wanted to burst into tears all over again but there was a small knock on my door and I held my composer.

"Momma? Will wewe read this to me?" Alicen was holding up a folded peice of paper being held together kwa a dhahabu stick.

"Sure, Baby." I nodded and pushed myself up with my hands. She climbed on my kitanda and sat inayofuata to me, handing me her letter.

To:...
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If vampiresā€”corpses that rise up to suck the blood of the livingā€”sound biologically implausible to you, youā€™re not alone. They exist purely in legend, as virtually all scientists agree.

But for any vampire believers unĀ­dissuaded kwa biological facts, a professor has come up with a secĀ­ond proof of their unreality, using math.

If Wanyonya damu ever existed in the forms in which sinema and vitabu portray them, they would have quickly wiped out humanity long ago, acĀ­cording to physics professor CosĀ­tas Efthimiou of the chuo kikuu, chuo kikuu cha of Central Florida in Orlando, Fla.
Popular lore passed down through...
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posted by LexisFaith
Tanya is being played by/looks like Nina Dobrev. A) because I'm tired of ditzy blondes ruining things (i alisema ditzy blondes. Not all blondes are ditzy)
B)You will understand why in the inayofuata chapter.
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Edward pov

The twins were four months now and I had to go back to work. I didn't want to get out of kitanda because that would mean having to leave them all here. I sighed and reached over Bella and hit the snooze button on her alarm clock.

She sighed and snuggled into me when I laid back down. "Morning." She breathed.

I kissed her head. "Morning."

She spoke...
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posted by groovychicklisa
Chapter 7

E|POV

2 weeks. 2 god damned weeks! Thatā€™s how long it had been since I talked to her. Every time I went near her she bolted as far away from me as fast as she could. I remained in the same place I had since the night she had left. Every waking dakika I would sit at the dawati and gaze over at her window hoping to catch a glimpse of her. She never shut her curtains not fully at least not in the 16 years I had been best Marafiki with her for. About 15 dakika later she opened her curtains and a large grin had spread across my face. Has she forgiven me I thought to my-self, part of me...
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After they left wewe closed the door and closed your eyes. wewe couldn't believe it. The wedding is a mwezi away and yet wewe can't wait. Your mind was racing on the thought of being Emmett's wife and then Sabrina your daughter. wewe happened to look up and see your family staring at wewe with worry written all over their faces.
You: What?
Emmett: Your glowing.
wewe looked at your hands and sure enough wewe were. wewe froze in shock and tried slapping the light off of you. But, it wouldn't leave.
Sabrina: Mommy's glowing.
Emmett: Yes she is.

*note from the author*
this is the end of this story. Tell me if u want me to write about justin bieber upendo stories au one zaidi emmett cullen upendo story?
posted by Summer_Leanne
Thank wewe so so much for reading, everyone, and ESPECIALLY for ALL your support! It's wonderful to know you're following my story. upendo wewe all, and thanks again! <3
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Deadly Dreams
The two elated lovers walked back hand in hand to the Cullensā€™ nyumbani with joy and happiness in their hearts, despite the consequences they could face in the future. As far as they were concerned, their upendo would be kept a secret from the Cullens, because Alice couldnā€™t see Summer with Jake in her visions and Edward couldnā€™t read Summerā€™s mind. All Jake had...
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*by Stephenie Meyer*



NEW MOON - chapter 2 - STITCHES


Carlisle offered me his hand and helped me up from the table. I followed him out into the main room. Esme had come back; she was mopping the floor where Iā€™d fallen - with straight bleach from the smell of it.
ā€œEsme, let me do that.ā€ I could feel that my face was bright red again.
ā€œIā€™m already done.ā€ She smiled up at me. ā€œHow do wewe feel?ā€
ā€œIā€™m find,ā€ I assured her. ā€œCarlisle sews faster than any other doctor Iā€™ve had.ā€
They both chuckled.
Alice and Edward came in the back door. Alice hurried to my side, and Edward...
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*by Stephenie Meyer*



NEW MOON - chapter 1 - PARTY


We were pulling up to the house now. Bright light shined from every window on the first two floors. A long line of glowing Japanese lanterns hung from the porch eaves, reflecting a soft radiance on the huge cedars that surrounded the house. Big bowls of flowers - pink roses - lined the wide stairs up to the front doors.
I moaned.
Edward took a few deep breaths to calm himself. ā€œThis is a party,ā€ he reminded me. ā€œTry to be a good sport.ā€
ā€œSure,ā€ I muttered.
He came around to get my door, and offered me his hand.
ā€œI have a question.ā€...
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posted by CarlislesLover
I'm sorry it's been a while since I ilitumwa this story.
XX



ā€œIā€™ll go after them wewe guys stay hereā€

ā€œReneeā€

ā€œJust stay hereā€ Renee walked out the front door and went to the airport were Bella and Jacob had presumably gone. ā€œSo what do we do know?ā€

ā€œI would look to see Bellaā€™s future but of course sheā€™s with Jacob so I canā€™t seeā€

ā€œI hope sheā€™s okā€

ā€œWe all hope sheā€™s okā€ Carlisle was looking around for something. ā€œWhat are wewe looking for Carlisle?ā€ Esme asked. ā€œMy wallet, I put it on the meza, jedwali and now itā€™s goneā€

ā€œI bet the dog aliiba itā€

ā€œHe better...
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My name is Edward Mason Juinor i am 18 and have no wife.My parents are constantly asking me to talk to this woman and this woman.They dont understand love.My dad Edward is the town lawer and is rich.All the girls in town fall all over me but i dont like any of them wewe should not have to changer yourself au onyesha off to get a man to like wewe they should like wewe no matter what wewe are like.I decided today i will go to the book store and buy a new book.I went into the jikoni and mother was in there.
"Good morning mother i am off to the book store i will be nyumbani later"i alisema and gave her a kiss...
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posted by AnonymousXXX
I hope wewe enjoy! I been feeling down latly... maoni and talk to me bout what wewe think of my chapters. I'd upendo to hear your thoughts.


As I woke up in kitanda I replayed picha of last night. As I did I realized I loved being with Ethan and that scared me zaidi than anything. Seeing as it had only been a day. How do wewe upendo being around a person so quickly? How do wewe like someone so much in just one day? It was insane but true. So did that make me insane?
My thoughts were quickly interrupted kwa my sister. She came bursting through the door and jumped on my bed.
ā€œOk so about yesterdayā€¦ Forgive...
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posted by twilight-7
ā€œKayla, look at this one!ā€
ā€œI see it, Alice.ā€
ā€œIsnā€™t it just gorgeous!ā€ gushed my sister-in-law. She picked up a dress made of satin blue material and held it against me. I looked down at it, wishing I could go home. But my husband beside me, gently squeezed my hand, reminding me I would not be able to escape.
ā€œYes,ā€ I smiled at Alice. ā€œVery pretty.ā€
Alice couldnā€™t sense my lack of enthusiasm but Edward could. I knew he was trying to cheer me up but a shopping trip wasnā€™t the best way to do it. He sighed quietly.
ā€œWeā€™ll need to get wewe a size bigger,ā€ Alice said,...
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posted by KatiiCullen94
I was soo bored, flicking through the channels was pointles i knew i diddnt want to watch tv anyway. the room was soo quiet, i diddnt like it.
edward had woken me up a little while zamani explaining that his family was going out for about saa and a bit for hunting,so i was nyumbani alone with Tanna. i couldn't hear Tanna onyesha that she was awake, thank god.
i stood up and walked oout the door still wearing yesterdays clothes, now considering that im still human and i still have cravings like one, i went straight to the cupboard, and searched for the first thing that alisema PIG OUT! I also wanted to...
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*by Stephenie Meyer*



TWILIGHT - chapter 21 - PHONE CALL


I could feel it was too early again when I woke, and I knew I was getting the schedule of my days and nights slowly reversed. I lay in my kitanda and listened to the quiet voices of Alice and Jasper in the other room. That they were loud enough for me to hear at all was strange. I rolled till my feet touched the floor and then staggered to the living room.
The clock on the TV alisema it was just after two in the morning. Alice and Jasper were sitting together on the sofa, Alice sketching again while Jasper looked over her shoulder. They didn't...
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 Lilly Black...
Lilly Black...
I walked through the gates of Forks High school, i was shaking i was that nervous i looked around
and saw teenagers flocking through the car park, i kept my eyes down and headed towards a ancient building with a small welcoming sign that said: Welcome to Forks High School. I entered the old building and found a beautiful brunette lady sitting at a small cluttered desk, she looked at me and plastered on a smile.
ā€œHello dear how may i help you?ā€ she alisema sweetly.
ā€œUm I'm Lilly Black, I'm new hereā€ i alisema quietly. She than turned away from me and started searching through a bunch of papers...
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posted by KatiiCullen94
to darkfairy97! thank you!

i woke.if wewe called that sleeping. but i diddnt want to move, i was too shocked to move, like i couldn't, paralized . again.
Jacob alisema that he wasn't going to leave the house after last night, had givin up to continuing carrying on about the scent.
i jsut sat back ,and diddnt reply. i couldn't say a word. my face was numb, my whole body was cut off from me.
i knew that me uigizaji this way would give concerns to jacob, but that diddnt matter now. i believe that after seeing Carlisle that Jacob knew who was there last night, but was too afraid of me to ask what happened....
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i am sort of new to the whole uandishi thing and i would really upendo it if wewe would maoni please.


preface

everything i ve been fighting for was going to peaces all my dear 1s the people i couldn`t live without and the people that would be a pain to lose. "can i meet her" what was i ment to do say no? this is like last time when bellas life was Lost before my very eyes.
as they stalked fowared i could see there mind set on two things that i would not give up without a fight.

chapter one
the talk

it was a couple of days before the wedding and i was nervous no not cause i wernt readdy well i wernt...
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posted by twilight-7
Charlie and Tess were still watching the film, some romantic comedy with Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo about a ghost and how she wasnā€™t dead but in a coma and they needed to save her and such, completely unaware of what had just happened. As Edward and I walked into the living-room, Charlie turned away from the screen. The worry was still in his eyes and I knew I wouldnā€™t see it leave for quite some time.
ā€œWhat was that about?ā€ he asked me. Tess turned around when he spoke and she smiled up at me. I saw no concern in her eyes.
ā€œThereā€™s something we need to tell you, Charlie,ā€...
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I mean I understand if someone hates a crazy,neurotic Twilight fan,but to think about krisimasi as something as a good chance to insult and quote "piss off" Twi fan,I find it nothing but ridiculous.
Look at this:
"Hate Twilight? Want to piss off a Twilight shabiki this xmas? Stop by
www.planetneonbunny.com and buy one (or more) of our Twilight mocking
t-shirts, Ā£10 each plus reasonable worldwide shipping.Make their xmas lousy!"

Seriously,isn't Xmas suppose to be about upendo and sharing with your loved ones?Well obviously not anymore.This is what I see as obsessed Twilight hater,if wewe hate something...
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
My newest and sekunde fanfic.Pairing is Emmett/Alice.All human at the beginning.Hope wewe like this one.Oh and I dedicate the entire story to Paramore-CSI aka Pringles!

Luv ya for kusoma
xoxo bree xoxo

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Once Upon A Time....



Chapter One




Alice POV






I opened my eye's, and gazed out the window.Thankfully last nights rain had stopped.This was wonderful!Almost as if it were another sign that Emmett and I belong together.Today is such a big siku in our relationship.Today is our One mwaka Six mwezi aniversary.I pratically jumped fom my kitanda and ran to my...
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