Twilight Funnies

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Six
BuffyFaithfan1
_______________________________
[NINETEEN]
    I was a bit shocked, and then reality hit me, and I left the room. I found Tabra in the kitchen, and I went to him.
    "I told him."
    "You did?" He seemed happy about it.
    "Yes. He kissed me, and it was very passionate. Now what?"
    "Well, normally, if I was alone with Olivia, and that happened..."
    "Okay, ew. I don't wanna know what wewe would do to Olivia..in bed. I just...

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Six
BuffyFaithfan1
_______________________________
[ELEVEN]
    "You're married?" I asked, and he nodded.
    "Her name is Olivia. We got married last Fall, and I upendo her. She knows about my Death Clan of the Fallen days, says my tattoo is sexy." I laughed. "She forgives me for what I've done, which is good. I didn't tell you, because she didn't want me to tell wewe yet. She was wanting to meet wewe first. But, I thought, once all of this is over, wewe can come over and meet her au whatever." Tabra was rubbing his left ring finger,...

This is zaidi to the fanfic i wrote Rensmee C. Cullen. If wewe didnt read that then this probably wont make much sense (:



“Renesmee, what do wewe think of all this?” my mom asked.
    “Well, I think it all makes zaidi sense now. I think I was ready to know this. I always thought of Jacob. I always missed Jacob. I always wanted to be with Jacob. I never knew why. Now that I know he imprinted, it makes zaidi sense.”
    My mother nodded.
    “We should probably get going,” I suggested. “I need to apologize to Uncle Emmett.”
    I...

*episode ten*
*The Breakfast Club*
*thinking*
Alice’s P.O.V:
Vomit is a color no-one likes.
They get sick.
They die…
Or worse…
They find out they’re…pregnant…
Like me.
*done thinking*
Carlisle: I found out why wewe are pregnant. I think wewe can get an abortion.
Alice: *focused on how she got pregnant* how did I get pregnant?
Carlisle: *rolls his eyes at the door* boys! Just come in.
Edward: *barges the door down* Thanks!
Emmett: Yeah.
Jasper: ALICE! *runs over and grabs her hand*
Bella: Anyways…
Carlisle: wewe got pregnant because the last time au so wewe fed it was a pregnant animal-the pregnancy...

Every siku for the past couple of weeks I have been with Mace, we either would go shopping,talk, do homework,or double tarehe with each other...she was my Alice and I was my mom except I wasn't clumsy and didn't need saving 24/7.
"Homecoming is inayofuata week." She alisema to me as we sat in the living room of my grandparents house...she knew the whole story about my family and the wolves.
"Did someone say homecoming?" I heard my Aunt lice say as she came down sttairs and flitted over to us.
"Yeah, we have Homecoming inayofuata weekend." Maci said. I gave her a look that made her confused.
"I'm taking wewe shopping...

chapter 2 is short so i added chapter 3. and i hope wewe like it :) i know i ilitumwa this way to early :-p sorry if miss spelled au words sound out of order :-p



Chapter 2
                    LUNCH
I sat where Jill was sitting. The same people from before. The blonde
Kid, the reporter with a few other people. They introduced themselves.
And I giggled when they all were done. I alisema "I laugh a lot...sorry"
Ken rolled his eyes. I cracked up. Mart the one who bumped into me asked me "so Estella--" "call...

i feel like i could kill someone!
PRESS ONE BUTTON AND ALL I HAVE WROTE IS GONE! puff! shes gone!grr!!
TAKE FUCKING TWO!:


Coming out the ladies room was as Embarrassing as farting in class au having really bad Bo, its the one WHERE EVERYONE LOOKS AT YOU!
i looked like i literally imerged in the toilet, my hair dripping of water wih chucks of pancakes, after fainting and my hair landing in the toilet. gross.
Alice held one arm, where Edward joined snatching my free arm at first sight.
This made me feel even zaidi embarrassing, been dragged out the toilets in a crowed cinema kwa two angels?
stumbling...

Seth was still sleep when I got up. I wrote him a note to tell him I would be back in a while , if he woke up while I was gone.
I hopped in my car and drove down the familiar road and parked on the side walk when I got there. I walked threw the rows until I arrived at my mother's grave. I sat down and touched the headstone.
"Hi Mom."I alisema to the grave."I miss wewe so much." I felt the tears streaming down my face."I like La Push,it has a beach.I met a guy. His name is Seth and he's perfect..I upendo him." I sat there in silence for a couple of minutes."I'm sorry ,mom..." was all I could manage...

New Beginnings

"Are wewe sure?" Renée asked, her eyes wide, continuing before I had a chance to answer. "Charlie!" This was called in the direction of the living room.

"No, I'm not sure, that's why I alisema 'I'm not sure'." I replied dryly.

"Did it feel like the false labor pains?"

I shook my head.

"Definitely not."

"What're wewe yelling about?" Charlie asked grumpily, coming into the kitchen. kwa the sound that was still coming from the television, we had interrupted a baseball game.

"Bella's in labor."

He just stood there for a moment, mouth slightly ajar and a vacant expression in his eyes.

"Right,...

I went nyumbani a couple hours of later. I didn't have to go to school because it was Thanksgiving break. So I decided to ask my dad can I drive down to Portland to visit my friends. He alisema yes.
I was packing my bag for my trip when I heard the doorbell ring.."Coming!!"I yelled. I opened my door and Seth was standing there.
"Hey" I alisema and gave him a hug. I went up stairs and he followed me. I closed my bag and sat it near my door.
"Where are wewe going?" Seth asked me.
"I'm going to Portland for break to visit some friends" I alisema and sat down inayofuata to him and he wrapped his arms around me.
"I'm coming...

Hi again, everyone! After three long and busy days, I've finally finished chp. 20 :D thank wewe so much for kusoma and all your sweet maoni on my last post! I hope wewe all enjoy this one. Much love, as always, to each and every one of wewe all, from me!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Love and War
Alice ran to embrace Summer, who was sitting on the floor of the living room in tears. She had no words to comfort her, but, thankfully, Jake did. Carlisle told him the news, and as soon as he told Sam, he came bursting into the Cullens’ nyumbani in a matter of minutes. He saw Summer...

My skin absorbed the sunlight in the schools courtyard, it was warm. For once in Forks, Washington there was actually heat. I almost felt like I was back in Phoenix, sipping maji ya limau, lemonade on a long outdoor chase, with my mom, Renee and Paul, my step-father.

"Bella!" Jacob alisema running over to my stone meza, jedwali in the courtyard.

"Yeah, Jake?" I alisema looking at him with a curious look. He was frantically shaking and he tried speaking but all that came out was gasps.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" I yelled, demanding him to talk.

"Bella, please, it was an accident!" Jacob whimpered.

"Jacob! What accident! Spit...

Here is Jacob's POV...I do want to warn wewe about this chapter...you will never expect what is coming!! ;) lol...well enjoy -Kayla

Chapter 12. (Jacob)

Edward finally left and Bella let me inside. "Why would wewe do this to Charlie? To him? To me?" I asked yet again. She didn't answer me. "Come on, Bells, there has to be a reason." I begged. I wanted an answer badly. "Well, I don't want to live in a house full of Charlie's rules when i'm old enough to get my own house and make my own rules." She stated. "You're not telling the truth. You're lieing." I told her. She sat on her kitanda and yawned. "Jake,...

I woke up in an unfamiliar room and in an unfamiliar shati that was like 10 times bigger than it should be. I hoped out the kitanda and opened the door. Now I realized I was at Jake's , he was sleeping on the couch.
I went over , lifted up his arm and snuggled into him. I guess he felt the change because he woke up looked at me and smiled.
"Morning beautiful. How did wewe sleep." I wrinkled my nose and laughed
"YOU breath stinks but I like it." he smiled and rolled his eyes. "I slept well, but why am I at your House?"
He sat up taking me with him.
"Well, I didn't want to see Edward and I didn't want...

Chapter 8

You walk downstairs when wewe see all the lights off. wewe see a row of candles on the floor leading to the dining room. wewe follow the path and wewe see rose petals on the meza, jedwali and Emmett standing right inayofuata to the meza, jedwali with his hands behind his back. wewe cant help but smile. He sees wewe and smiles back.

Emmett-(pulling out a chair) Ma'am.

You-(going to the chair and sitting down) Thank You.

Emmett pushes your chair in and he sits own inayofuata to you.

You-What is this for Emmett?

Emmett-For you.

You-why?

Emmett-Because wewe deserve it and plus I wanted to ask wewe something.

You-Like what?

Emmett...

Chapter 7

You and Emmett walk in the door. And Alice comes over to wewe and hugs you.
Alice-I am so sorry to hear about your Mom ___
You-Thanks Alice.
Emmett-___, its late, do wewe want to go sleep?
You- Yeah, It's been a, really long day.
Emmett-Okay I'll go up with you.
You-Goodnight everyone
Everyone-night ___.

You and Emmett go up to his room and wewe see your vanity for your make up and your hair kwa a huge window in his room and wewe see your dresser right inayofuata to it. wewe also see that your pajamas are set out on his bed. wewe knew alice did it, and wewe grabbed them and changed in the bathroom in...

ok im very sorry , for THE LONG WAIT, but ive been working flat out and i jsut hadnt been in the moosd, but im pumped and woah! i hope to do two chapters today but ill see how i go.
ok a recap. Bella is about to perform on stage.

Bella's POV.

This was it, the moment ive been practicing for. to get his attention again. I remember him saying that he diddnt want me, but this was my chance to prove to him how much i wanted him.
I searched over and over like a father looking for this remote as the super ball has ten dakika of the game. To find the perfect song and that all the lyrics just fit....

Sabrina ended up sleeping in wewe guys room. Emmett sat her on the kitanda and wewe and him went hunting. wewe guys was out for like 8 hours. wewe guys got back and it was 7 in the morning. wewe woke Sabrina up and Emmett went to enroll her into school. wewe waited for him to get back. Alice, Rose, and Esme went shopping. Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper went on a hunting trip. So, that left wewe and Emmett the house. wewe heard him pull up. wewe turned off the T.V. and he came in.
You: So how did it go?
Em: Good. Where is everyone?
You: Edward, Jasper,and Dad went hunting. Alice, Rose and Mom went shopping.
He...

wewe guys got back to the house saw everyone sitting watching the news and heard Alice ask.
Alice: Can I plan the wedding? Please?
Everyone looked at wewe guys confused and wewe looked at Emmett and he nodded.
You: Of course.
Esme: Wait. wewe guys are engaged?
You smiled and nodded.
You: Yeah mom.
She got up and hugged wewe both.
You: Rose? wewe and Alice want to be my brides maids?
Rose/ Alice: Of course.
You smiled and hugged them.
Em: Jasper and Edward my grooms men?
They nodded and wewe asked.
You: Where are we moving now?
Carlisle: We are thinking about Alaska. How does that sound kids?
You: I like it there....

wewe had a knock at your bedroom door. wewe got up and answered it.
You: hujambo mama.
Esme: Time for bed.
You: Thank you.
You laid down and she came over to your kitanda and kissed your forehead.
Esme: Good night sweetheart.
You: Night mom I upendo you.
Esme: upendo wewe too.
She turned the CD on low and turned out the lights. wewe thouht about your siku while listening to the music. wewe were about asleep when someone came into your room. wewe felt the teddy kubeba in your arm and knew it was Emmett. wewe smiled and said.
You: Night Teddy Bear.
Em: Night
You fell asleep.
The Dream.
You were back in the forest and wewe looked...