Sometimes, it's important to know that you don't need to say anything at all.

yup . just say what you would want to be said to you if you were going through the same thing!

Not all situations I am equipped to deal with and I know this so I would be able to recommend help.

I'm not really sure. I know that I try to help, but I'm never sure if I have the right answers, or I'm afraid the words will come out wrong... sometimes I'm not sure if anybody has the right answers. I do know that it helps to be with or talk to someone... someone to listen, a shoulder to cry on, someone to hold your hand or give you a hug, someone to pass you a kleenex, someone you can call a friend. Sometimes just knowing that you're not alone can make all the difference in the world.

Sometimes just a hug works without any words, sometimes you have to go a little further. I guess the most important thing is to be caring and helpful (and optimistic but only if the situation is right) without being patronising or interrogative.

For example, I used to have a teacher who was desperate for everyone to have problems so that she could help them. If you said, "Latin is my least favourite subject" she'd be down on you in a second going, "What is it about Latin? Is your teacher nasty to you? Does he pick on you? Do you get too much homework? Should I get Mr So-and-so to talk with you?" Basically, it backfired because no one ever confided in her about anything because she made such mountains out of molehills, she interrogated people and she did a cooing voice and touched your shoulder when she talked to you, stuff like that.

unless i know them really well i won't hug them (it's just a personal space issue) but i think the best way is to let them figure out what is best for thems and do the typical shrinks thing of "how do you feel about that?" and "so?..."
where is unless they directly ask for it and you give someone advice they don't want to hear in that state their more likely not to listen
and i am brutally honest i think telling someone what they want to hear when you don't think that can be more destructive than helpful
another reason why i prefer talking to strangers

Agree, the theraputic silence always works. I generally can say the right thing, but let them reach the conclusion by themselves.

When I said to hug them, I was assuming that you would be fairly close to the person already (I was interpreting the word "friend" in the title of the pick as meaning someone you were close to). Sorry if I made it confusing by talking about my ex-teachers straight afterwards, my thoughts have a tendency to be a bit random. ;)

I am very uncomfortable with this Spot. People all think they know what is best for everyone else... and usually they are dead wrong.

And that is just as true among us actual Shrinks as it is among laymen.

This is a dangerous road to go down right here. Potential legal problems are very foreseeable here.

legal problems? its advice, you can choose to take it or not. i don't know were the law is conserned really!

i kind of get what you mean but if people don't weant to share they don't have to none is making them or even asking them and i think if it can help one person, its worth while. i know im dead against half the stuff people say and don't really think about it but i apreshate that they are trying to help and that they want to.

I like the doc's answer better.

It's true. There's a (popular) theory in (philosophy?) that the phrase "I know how you feel" is the falsest thing you can tell a person. Because even if they stubbed their toe, and you stubbed your toe on the same step two hours before, you still can't say "I know how you feel" because there are other factors at play... I don't know, we talked about this in my poetry class of all places, it made sense at the time.

It's true that you can never know what a person is experiencing, because we don't have the lingual capacity in order to communicate such complex things. The only way we could is if we were telepathic, like in some sci-fi novels where one person literally empathizes with the individual.

But what you can do is provide support, which I think is the point of this spot. If someone asks for help, answer their questions as best you can, but timidly, and it's OK to say "I don't know the answer." The important thing is that you're there for them when they need you. You don't have to spout off great philosophical quotes, you don't have to make everything better, or provide a miracle cure, or tell them exactly how they can solve their problems. You just have to be there. Like a pillow. Whether they need to punch a pillow, or cry in a pillow, or hug a pillow, you just... be the pillow.

but sometimes we need to give supportive words especially to those who were in the stage of depression to prevent them from possible self-harm.

i don't like the 'just listen' answer, just because they are in crisis it doesn't mean there goingt o go and kill themselves, sometimes they just need somone to help them make sence of what they are going through, to maybe come up with a new answer, a new perspective. Sometimes i agree people just need to vent and your job is to just be there but by no strech of the imagination always!

I've helped some friends, but I'm more a listener, and people come to talk to me, I guess that helps a lot too.

I never have a clue what to say i'm abit hopeless that way D= but i try and make a joke - not about them or anything but just try and cheer them up - it worked - once...lol oh well i do my best =)

I don't really think I know what to say but I just guess what would be the best and apparently I'm pretty good at saying the right things. Listening is the best I think. Just letting them vent when they really need to talk to someone. Most people really appreciate it.

always try to help as good as i can

who'd want advice from ME!?!? that would be suicidal!!!

I gess it's just natural

I've always been really good at comforting people and helping them feel better, I tend to know if I need to talk them through things, or just listen, and as I've always said, a hug goes a long way.

sometimes u just need to listen and then if they ask then i usually know what to say

That's what I do. I don't really be paying attention. I be having other things on my mind. I be physically there but I'm in a different mind state. So I'll just nod my head occasionally. They usually have really stupid problems. So there's no point in listening anyways

My brother makes me help my buds which is right but it takes my friends about ten minutes till they actully want help. During that time I could eat an ice cream or drink a soda.

It's hard giving advice when it takes so long!

What works the best all around. I'll give advice, but only when I am asked.

i agree

I usually cry together with them. It's better than talk.

^^

Always.

its wat i do. i am there for a friend or for a stranger if they need someone. and i usualy have something helpfull to say. weather its the right thing, ud have to ask them.

I'm not good at supporting; nor do their problems have something to do with me anyways.

Plus, they rarely ask for my support, they have other, closer friends.

I'm not very good at comforting people... I usually go with the classic '*gasp!* That's terrible! I'm so sorry!' and improvise from there... XD