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Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The 9 best lines from 'The Cruise'

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Fanpup says...
I remember visiting this website once...
It was called Brooklyn Nine-Nine recap: The Cruise | EW.com
Here's some stuff I remembered seeing:
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'Brooklyn Nine-Nine': Jake and Amy poised to take the next step
'The League' alum Jason Mantzoukas joins S3 cast of 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'
, Jake logged some quality time with that special someone, which allowed the couple to strengthen their undeniable bond while sailing the seas of adventure. And all their little bickering only made this pair that much more adorable. 
Oh, right — it was also good to see Jake get some alone time with Amy.
“The Cruise” brought us the welcome return of the slippery charmer Doug Judy, a.k.a. the Pontiac Bandit, who is known for stealing cars, scenes, and Jake’s heart, even though the clown detective hates to admit it. The episode proved to be an entertaining off-shore romp, as Jake was given free tickets to a cruise (little did he know, by Doug himself), which he turned into his first big trip with his precinct rival-turned-mattress mate, and once onboard, he quickly spotted his hated arch-nemesis that he didn’t really hate, Doug, who was masquerading as Horatio Velveteen (amazing name), the ship’s piano lounge entertainment.
Turns out, Jake and Amy couldn’t arrest Doug (they were out of their jurisdiction, and the only person who could slap on the cuffs was the tax-evading captain — played by the underrated Paul F. Tompkins — but he needed the probably high Horatio to distract the passengers with smushing songs so they wouldn’t revolt over the lack of ranch dressing). So instead of straight-up living that slug life, eating unlimited shrimp, and sipping on a beverage adorned with a potato skin, he (and Amy) reluctantly kept an eye on Doug, who’d lured them onboard to protect him from a hitman, a story Jake didn’t buy. But their re-bonding on the high seas began anyway — Sandy B. in a sarong in 
! — and the Bandit even dropped some helpful advice on Jake about meeting the needs of his woman, whose needs were non-stop scheduled fun.
 not trustworthy: The hitman did come after him, Amy took the hitman down, Jake issued the last of the over-easy shuffleboard slang jokes (“You just got tanged by my girlfriend! Sorry I know that sounded really gross, but it was actually awesome!”), and Doug jumped ship and escaped on a life raft, surely to resurface in season 4. He left the frustrated detectives with a romantic parting gift, though: the Boom Boom State Room. But it was the state of their relationship that they would truly upgrade as Amy said “I love you” to Jake, which he did reciprocate (well, after trying the more non-committal response of “Noice! Smort!”) That they took their relationship to the next level in a dance class for widows felt tonally appropriate for this kind of moment on this kind of show.
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While Jake ran around the ship with his two lovers, Holt sought solace in seltzer as his sister, Hurricane Debbie (played by Niecy Nash, another great comedic force), blew into town for a six-week visit. While our buttoned-up exec captain’s ex-boyfriend Frederick (Nick Offerman) was introduced as a foil with a similar temperament, Debbie was much more of an “I-can’t-even” emotional force. In truth, she wasn’t any more difficult than the messes he cleans up in the precinct every week (would love to see Holt mediate that fight between Debbie and her trainer of a stolen-but-not-really hairbrush), but her drama was magnified through his distorted lens of pathological stoicism. First, Holt rebuffed her attempts at bonding in front of his underlings, denying her claims that he was “fun” as a child. Then, wanting her to do an about-face and leave town again, he took Gina’s ill-conceived advice to fight drama with drama, which begat several amusing line deliveries (“Everything in my life is a hot mess right now,” Holt told Debbie in a semi-stilted manner). But in the end, after he learned that she had been cheated on and dumped, he surprised her by building a childhood call-back fort in his office, where he invited her in literally and metaphorically. As the episode went on, I worried that this plot wouldn’t really pay off, but when Holt sat under that shrimp-free tarp and said, “I would love to be all up in your life,” we had our burst of B-story emotion.
NEXT: “At least I’ll die doing what I love. Getting people horny at sea.”
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