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EPISODE 1:

So..
I finally found it in English.

It's not as good as I hoped.
But.
Nor was it as bad as I expected.

It's.. In between.

I haven't forgot it's Japennesse.
And. Not trying to be racist.
But Japen has all the weird shit.
Ever seen there commericals?
All wewe have to do is go onto Windwakers club.
He has these fucked up TV commericals.
And I wouldn't be serprised if most of them were Japennesse.

Anyway.

Didn't really have a inayopendelewa character.
Though kinda looking foward to Jan Valentine's episode.
Ever seen his clips.
He's actually pretty funny in the real one.
Too bad the actor, Josh Phillips, was convicted of killing a child.

Also.
My thoughts on Alexander.

The abridged Alexander is still better.
His voice is zaidi steriotypical.
And he has a better reaction to when the Hellsing lady says he betrayed them kwa killing all her men (he kills two zaidi in front of her, before claiming he dosen't know why she would make such an accusation).

What else can I say..

Can't think of anything.
Till inayofuata time.

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EPISODE 2:
Now. THIS is zaidi like it :)

This episode was fuckin awesome.

As I originally expected. Jan Valentine is truely a enjoyment to watch.
He's friggin nuts.
But that's what I upendo about him.

I would upendo to go on and on about Jan Valentine.
But. Most of wewe probably don't care..

Though, I'm not saying I'm in anyway depressed about his death, he still deserved it.
Though I 'am' a bit disappointed about him being killed off after just one appearance. That much, I admit to.
But hey, it seems to happen quite often in hellsing, so, whatever.. Dude.

Anyway.
As for Luke.
He was serprisingly enjoyable too.
But. Am I the only who thinks his voice sounds kinda like Alucard's.

But. Just like Alucard says.
Luke loses all the respect he has earned kwa cowarding away joining the last second.
I understand WHY he would freak out.
But.. If what Alucard alisema about your legs is true.
Then.. wewe could of kept going.
Have some fuckin dignity Luke.
I mean. Least Jan died with 'some' dignity, he accepted that he was gonna die. While Luke didn't.

Anyway.
Now for the episode itself..

What I found most interesting.
Is that the ghouls aren't just ANY ghouls (you have to watch it).

The entire episode is made of one of the best battles I ever saw in a animate.
It brings anouther reason I upendo watching Jan.
I upendo how he gives himself instructions while skillfully killing soldiers.
Seeing Luke fight. Was also just as enjoyable.

Same with Walter. Even if just using somekind of string.
Still epic..

Anyway.
Don't think I have anything else worth talking about.
Jan? Anything to add.

JAN: Yeah! wewe can take this review! And suck it up your as-

(shoves him away) okay. okay, whatever..

Anyway. Till inayofuata time :)

But before I go.
Dose anybody else notice they say Stars Wars at the end?

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EPISODE 3:
Evening y'all..
I completely forgotten I was reviewing this show, wewe can thank Nick (Windwaker) for the reminder that I was doing so.

fanpop isn't the only places I make reviews for.
I am a member of Rotten Tomtoes and probably a few other places.
So I am always reviewing shit.
And so wewe can understand why it's hard for me to remember EVERYTHING I make reviews towards.
As there's Alpha & Omega shabiki fictions, My Little gppony, pony shabiki fictions, Happy mti Marafiki shabiki fictions, Eminem's THE SLIM SHADY onyesha is reviewed on my Youtube page.

Anyway.
Here I go, reviewing episode 3.
Due to the style of battles, this sort of feels like I'm reviewing 300/Rise of an Empire.
Witch I HAVE done before.
My exact words being..

"I don't care what anyone else says.. In many ways, this is better then the original. Witch is truelly saying something. Since I was always so friggin obsessed with the original..
It explains zaidi about Xerxies.
And Sullivan is almost even zaidi badass then Butler was.
Not to mention, the battles and as graphic and Sparatacus styled as possible. Witch is good. Because that's what we CAME for".

Anyway.
I like the Begining, where it introduces the french guy.
It certainly explains the scene from Hellsing Abridged.
I keep forgetting how accurate those spoofs actually are to the videos.
Alucard really DID come there without anyone's approver, and keep calling them dogs, witch kind explains all the dog jokes in the abridged version of the scene.

My thoughts of Anderson are mostly positive, he did a good job.
But when he kept monologing on his long walk to Alucard I kept waiting for someone to cry out "JUST FUCKIN ATTACK HIM ALREADY!"

What else to say?

Not much.

I couldn't help but feel quite sorry for the swat team as they tired getting in the elevator.
They were so frightened. And Alucard is such a jerk sometimes.
Kinda like NEW Rick Grimes.
Rick is a bit of a dick now.. But still relatable, as it's for good reasons.

But Dandyman still should of used his abridged line
"You sure know how to make an enterance"

Anyway.
That ends my review.

Please leave comments. And await Epiode 4's review.

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EPISODE 4:
Sup?

This I actually such a AWESOME series.
I was too hard on the first episode, I'd have to rewatch it sometime.

But anyway.
As wewe can tell kwa the picture, I am really taking a likeness towards Anderson.
He is so cool to look at.

But I'm also starting to take likeness towards The Major.
He is such a deep character, and makes for an amazing villain.
Not to mention, he's a good villain, because he, what to me, defines TRUE evil.
The type of peron who only wants to see the world burn, there's no reasoning with him.

Though unfortantly, I am starting to have LESS enjoyment towards Alucard.
He may be on the good team, but quite frankly he is a cold hearted killer, and not much else.

Anyway.
As for episode itself.
I don't think I have much to say this time.
I was differently enjoyable, that much I can say.
So, yeah.
4 stars.

Please await the inayofuata episode review.
I believe there are 13 to the first season.
And thst's probably the only one I'll watch.

Anyway.
Sorry for the shortness of this review.

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EPISODE 5:
Well.
Yet anouther episode that I don't have much to say about it.

First off.
What the fuck was up with that intro.

We didn't see Alucard.
And having seen the ending bonus scenes, apparently its gonna be like that for a few other episodes as well.
As much as I HATE Alucard it's still gonna be weird not seeing him, but it probably is only for a short amount of time.

If your wondering about my thoughts of Penwood's death.
I don't have too much.
We don't know about him.
But still he died with honor, and I still solute to him.

Like all other Hellsing episodes I saw so, the battles are awesome, so no complaints there.
Though it's weird how they have to read from vitabu before they attack, and how major takes 2 hours just to eat one bite.
But whatever, it's not like I never seen it happen before..

It's also kinda cool to see the nazi soldiers talking.
I always thought they were no brainless ghouls.
But there clearly full on vampires, and they actually seem pretty intelligent, so I can't help but give them credit for that.

Oh well..
Till inayofuata time.

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EPISODE 6:
As usual.
I don't have much to say..

It's been while since I watch this show, but the episode was good.

Like most media's.
Most times I just watch this onyesha for the violence.

And when wewe know it's Japenesse, wewe KNOW your get nothing but blood covered pleasure. If I was a sadist I probably would get a boner from such intense battles.

But anyway.

At first I was a bit mad when they blew down the zeppelin, thought it meant their will be no epic fight against the crazy nazi bitch.
But.. I was proven wrong, she and her men servived.
And apparently she can make illusions to have herself bigger (yeah, cause that's "totally" playing fair)..

But at wheat I didn't see too many of Pip's men die.
I hate seeing army men die in shows like this.
I made episode 2 really hard to watch in that way.
All those poor army men.

Well anyway.
That's all I got.

Let's await episode 7.
And see what the crazy nazi bitch, kahaba has in store..

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EPISODE 7:
Wow..

Thats all I can say.
Wow..

I'm glad the Nazi bitch, kahaba died so horribly, she was really starting to piss me off. All she dose is fuck with peope's minds, instead of fighting fairly.

And as much I can't say I'm a shabiki of Sara's.
I mean, she's a good character, but there's just something bout her I don't like..
But obviously that didn't make it any easier to hear her suffering, so. Yeah.. It's one thing I hate worse then seeing army men die, it's seeing attractive woman being tortured.l

But anyway.
Let's songesha on the tembo of the room.
Pip's death.. THAT tembo in the room.

And as sad depressing as it was, I can't say it came as a complete serprise to me.
I read certain spoilers once, so I also am aware that Anderson dies, nd Walter backstabs them, so.. I'm aware of that.
So.. Yeah.

Still though, Pip has earned his rest, so. We can think of it that way..

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EPISODE 8:
Well.
We are almost done..

I can't say I really approved of Maxwell betraying everyone, but I came to accept it, considering we don't know all that much about him.
But he had a badass laugh moment, so that's a plus..
And, karma reached him, as it dose all Hellsing villains, au well.. All villains in general.

Anyway.
Even though I don't always like him, it's good to see Alucard again. It's just, not the same without him.
Like South park without Kenny, and Family guy without Brain.

As I alisema before, I can't say I was serprised kwa Waltor joining them.
I was told that it was gonna appen, so was just waiting for it.

There was one thing I didn't really get though, Major pretending to be a meister..
Well. I DO get it actually,
But didn't hear any gun shots au screas, au explosions. And I'm pretty that was meant to the point, he's meistering the war sounds.. But I never heard any, unless it was being outnoised kwa the muziki of the episode (may it was the muziki itself he was meistering.. Who fuckin knows anymore)..

Anyway.
Anderson is still my inayopendelewa character.

He's not a good guy character.

But he's not completely a villain either.

He's just a guy who maoni Wanyonya damu as the enemy.
The type of character that any other vampire themed as the protagonist.
He stands for the church.
And considering I'm Christian myself, I hold respect for that.

Though, I actually agreed with Alucard at the end.
He turned himself into a "thing".
That isn't very honorable when wewe think about it..

Anyway.

Till inayofuata time..
;D

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EPISODE 9 and 10:
Well..

We're finally done this show.

All in all.
I give it 8/10..

POSSITIVES:
* Satisfying battles
* Often unpredictable
* Has lots of "deep" means behind it..

NEGATIVES:
* Bizzare Japenesse comedy scenes, that makes them look like some sort of comic book..
* strange Oprah muziki at times
* Alexander betrayed his own humanity, and Lost my respect
* It's downright confusing sometimes
* It often feels longer than it is..

Anyway..

I don't really have anything to say about the episodes themselves.

Thir defiantly intense.

Though, I guess I have something to say about Major's death.

I have to admit.
I actually kinda like the Major.

He's what I call a "true villain".
He dose evil, for the sake of doing evil.
But yet he still somehow manages to die in honor.

That's the perfect villain, in my eyes.

A villain who dosen't fear death.
But embraces, it.
Smiles at it..

And, he shall strangely be in my thoughts.

Anyway.

Please leave comments..
I never noticed until now, how truly EVIL this ring is..

It's has a mind of it's own. Orginally created with the sole purpose of letting Sauron rule the world.

And Prince Isildur of Gondor cuts the One Ring off of Sauron's finger, unfortantly Isildur becomes almost immediately corrupted to it. preventing him from destroying it in Mount Doom. And the ring betrays Isildur for killing it's master and surrviving Orcs murder the prince, and ring is Lost for 2,500 years.

But than its discovered kwa Smeagol’s cousin Deagol, who stares at it obessively.. Smeagel comes to check on him, and also becomes...
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1.To provoke a response from the actors in the scene in "Freddy's Cave", the photographs they found were Polaroids of little girls mixed with real Polaroids taken from medical surgeries.

2.It is the 8th highest grossing slasher film of all time.

3.Their main chanzo of inspiration was The Dark Knight (2008).

4.Jackie Earle Haley accidentally cut Kyle Gallner's chest with the Freddy glove, glovu while filming a scene. Haley didn't realize what he had done until the scene was finished.

5.They wanted Jackie Earle Haley to play Freddy because they loved his Watchmen screen test.

6.At 5'6", Jackie Earle Haley...
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According to Cinema Snob this movie use to be called

"Rape and revenge"

Really gives away the ending, doesn't it?

This movie is banned in my own country.
And for good reason.

Any SANE person would be left with this reaction.



You know.. The same one from Cannibal Halocoast.. au the Twilight movies.

The film is noted for its controversial depiction of graphic violence, nudity, obscene language, and lengthy depictions of gang rape which take up 30 dakika of the film's runtime.

Yeah.. Who wants to spent 30 dakika watching some poor woman getting assaulted kwa hillbillies simply cause she has tits...
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In my opinion, it's zaidi depressing than scary


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I like to think I live a nice life. I own a cozy, 3 bedroom nyumbani in a quiet neighborhood in the suburbs. I have a wife I care about deeply and a 9 mwaka old son who is my world. I enjoy my job as an accountant, and I'm well recognized in the community. I can confidently say I greatly enjoy living and appreciate all that I have earned. I only wish my entire life had been like this.

You see, throughout my teens and early adulthood, I suffered from severe anxiety issues stemming from an...
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I still think the movie, The Gallows, is kinda underrated.. But I found out now, what it all true means.. And Pfeifer is a total bitch, kahaba when wewe think about it.

In the beginning of the movie Pfeifer asked Reese to do the play, Reese agrees to this because he has a huge punda crush on her. And unfortunately, Reese can't act.

After Reese's annoying friend, Ryan realizes that Reese is only doing the play to impress Pfeifer, not because he likes drama, Ryan (after finding a broken door) suggests that they sneak into the school tonight tand ruin the settings so that Reese escapes the play without annoying...
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I reread my old reviews.. I didn't really give this onyesha the proper justice.. There's actually SO MUCH I can say about it.. I just didn't know at the time..

Hellsing is one of the FAVOURITE animes of my opinion.. And I'm usually mixed about them. So that says a lot..

Today.. I review episode one..

I don't know what I disliked about episode one the first time reviewing it.

But yeah.. Episode one is actually fucking awesome!..

We are opened up with Sera's as a police officer..Fight.. In my opinion a pretty interesting villain.

 Chedder Priest
Chedder Priest


That is his only known name.. I'm not sure what's so...
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Why on earth did I stop last time.. Season 3 is friggin awesome.. I clearly wasn't patient enough last time..

PLOT:
Walter wishes to reunite his family, but Skyler is still suspicious of Walter's sekunde life. Walter believes he can mend the tension between them kwa confessing to her that he has been producing meth. Skyler is appalled kwa the confession and demands a formal divorce. Meanwhile, Gus offers to pay Walter US$3M for three months of his service. He even offers to provide Walter with a state-of-the-art production facility and a brilliant lab assistant, Gale (David Costabile). Jesse is...
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This was deleted for some reason.. So redoing it..


#1: HARMING/KILLING CHILDREN:
As bad as Trevor Phillips can get.
Joker is still worse.
Joker has no boundaries, he grabbed Robin hostage when he was still a little kid in the show, tortured him for weeks on straight, and made the poor boy go insane.
Joker would burn down a orphanage full of sick childrun because he's "bored".
He does something even worse.
The Joker gives unsuspecting children poisoned cotton candy, and the children instantly died, but does the Joker feel remorse?
No he just laughs maniacally..


#2: KILLING PEOPLE WITH SHARDS OF GLASS:...
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The title alisema it?
So if wewe haven't seen the new episode.. Stop now, final warning..

Anyway.. Before I start.. Let me say. Having finally seen season 6.. It was awesome.. Walking dead always has awesome battles, it's why I like it (well why I ORIGINALLY liked it) but it usually takes forever too get too them.
Season 6 is amazing.. Battle after battle after battle.. And GOOD battle scenes. Intense ones.

Anyway.. Now for the maswali wewe been waiting for..

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WHAT DID I THINK OF SIMON?



I alisema before, how excited I was too see...
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#1: GIVE IT EVERYTHING:
It's kinda hard to summarize this story, but basically it's a set of emails, where a man gets a mysterious dog on his front yard, holding a sign saying "give it everything", and gave it too his son. But the kid begins uigizaji weird after that. And the dog watches him sleep, not in a cute way, but disturbing way.
In each email, the writer becomes zaidi and zaidi paranoid.
I won't spoil much, so your have to read the story.
But it's scarier than wewe think.. Especially when THATCREEPYREADING reads it to you..


#2: NO HOMOPHONES:
The narrator is fucking NUTS. As a kid, he got...
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#1: MAKE PAYNE 3 - uzi, katika (or Micro SMG if wewe prefer):
I never played the others. I play Max Payne 3 as it's OWN game.. The 3rd games gives enough to understand the character.. His family is dead, he's rarely serious, he has a serious temper issue, but he's a decent human being, even though he believes he's NOT.
Anyway. Max seems to prefer hand weapons.
In all cutscenes, if your using a shotgun au machine gun, he will hold it in his other hand while holding a handgun as the actual weapon, and after each cut scene wewe always have to switch back to it. Something that confused the first time, I did...
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#1: JOHN WICK:
It's zaidi than just a few drops of blood.. It's people being tortured, body parts breaking, necks snapping. And even a cute puppy gets murdered, crawled over to it's owner to die inayofuata to him.. it's a depressing scene. But John finds the guy who did it, and shoots him in GTA 4 style..


#2: THE EQUALIZER:
Denzel Washington protrays a retired black op. Who never actually uses guns. But instead uses drills, sledge hammers.. ANYTHING really.. Too bad there's no chainsaw around.
And the villain is actually scary in this movie. He violently beats a man to death. And it's easily one of the...
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#1:
Elizabeth: I have absolutely no intention of marrying Everard. I'm sorry to upset your plans, but...
Elizabeth's Father: Plans did wewe say? My one and only plan, dear girl, is to see wewe as happy as possible, and I would never dream of forcing wewe to do something wewe don't want to.
Critic:(as Elizabeth's father) Unless it was the beginning of the movie in which case I alisema wewe had no choice.
Critic: (as a scene of Elizabeth and her father hugging plays) Seriously, what did she do different? She made the same argument she did before. In fact, it's actually less angry. Are wewe honestly telling...
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Yes..
James Rolfe is the one who's zaidi popular, and probably was on Youtube FIRST. Doug Walker probably came second.

And yes..
They have zaidi au less the SAME humour. They're both portrayed as Anti-Heroes.
NERD is portrayed as an foul mouthed, abusive, mentally insane, alcoholic.
And CRETIC is portrayed as equally short tempered, abusive, insane, and foul mouthed.

But somehow, I find Nostalgia Critic a bit funnier than Angry Video Game Nerd.

I guess it's Doug Walker's voice.
He has that high pitched voice, that make the angry rants that much funnier.

But I don't NOT like Nerd.
He's still funny.. Hell, he's hilarious.
Cretic is just a bit zaidi hilarious..
As all TRUE Metallica mashabiki know.
ST ANGER is often the "worst" album.

But why?

I gave it a listen.
And I tell wewe what.
There is NOTHING bad about an album opening up with FRANTIC.

Haters say, it's the lack of solos that makes this album so bad.
But the solos often got SO long, I don't consider this really a BAD thing. zaidi for the actual SONGS.

And it's also the loud snare drums that's hated on.
But I fuckin upendo the snare drums Lars Ulrich really shows off how talented he is. As the drums are extremely loud, but not in a bad way. The POINT of Metallica, is to be LOUD.

I'm not sure how much enjoyment I'll get out of them LIVE, xD
#1: NEVER READ COMMENTS:
Unless wewe want to feel horrible about yourself..


#2: STARTING FIGHTS ARE EASY:
All wewe need to do is wait for someone to say hi to you. Become angry for no reason, and claim wewe belong to bila mpangilio mitaani, mtaa gangs that don't even exist in real life..


#3: NEVER TRUST pizza DILVERY BOYS WHEN YOUR SMOKING WEED:
They could be undercover cops..


#4: YOUR Marafiki ARE DICKS:
They will always find reasons to avoid "squad brunch"..


#5: ROBBERS ARE IDIOTS:
They will return stolen items as long as wewe give valid reasons to do so..


#6: MOVIE STARS ARE DICKS:
Jimmy has only been in two movies, both...
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#1:
Pinkie would never hurt her friends, Pinkamena murders upinde wa mvua Dash with joy.

@@@@@@

#2:
Pinkie makes keki normally, Pinkamena uses dead bodies.

@@@@@@

#3:
Pinkie is a bit slow witted, Pinkamena would often demonstrate unnaturally high intelligence in later crossovers.

@@@@@@

#4:
Pinkie is a cute and harmless little pony. Pinkamena is an mentally ill serial killer.

@@@@@@@

#5:
Pinkie cracks light hearted jokes, Pinkamena has a very twisted (Freddy Krueger like) humor.



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#1: DOCTOR HARLAN FONTAINE (La Noire):
Fontaine is one of the most cold and ruthless characters in the game, obsessed with power and manipulation. He constantly utilizes people to further his ends, as seen kwa his keeping Elsa Lichtmann addicted to drugs in order to investigate the breakdown of an addict and using Lou Buchwalter for the Fund, causing his death. He is also a master at manipulating people, demonstrated kwa how he convinced Courtney Sheldon to give him the stolen army surplus morphine in blatant abuse of his trust. Furthermore, he manipulated Ira Hogeboom to assist in the Fund's...
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#1: LEROY SNAPS:
Lorna's lack of grief, her relationship with Leroy, as well as Lester's life insurance raised Phelps' suspicions. Phelps and Bekowsky eventually discover that Lester was murdered kwa a steak, mnofu knife, and was dead before the car hit him. If the player had already found the knife, when first investigating the crime scene. Cole will conclude this is the same one (witch is proven correct).
Phelps and Bekowsky will confront Lorna at her home. Revealing how cowardly she actually is, Lorna attempted to pin all the blame onto Leroy.
Unfortunately Leroy overheard and, armed with a handgun,...
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#1: TREVOR PHILLIPS (GTA 5):
Trevor shows to be extremely protective of those he cares for. He threatens ANYONE who disrespects them. And his anger of Brad's death show's he truly did care about the man.
But Trevor is ALSO impetuous, vengeful, psychotic, unhinged, unpredictable, untamed, infamous, sociopathic and prone to violent outbursts and destructive rampages - in the sekunde trailer he smashed an unknown person's head into a bar counter and was then seen setting a house on moto and walking out of the area without a care in sight. He does everything in an awful and relentless manner, (much...
continue reading...