Johnny Depp and his eyeliner didn’t have much to live up to, did they? I get that “ZAP” is integral to “zap action,” but I’m not certain that it’s the best sound effect for clashing swords. Though, to this product’s credit, the moving skeletons at least have zaidi energy than static Aurora kits, and definitely zaidi emotional range than Orlando Bloom.

I’m still a tad aghast that The Pirates of the Caribbean, which bored me just as much as The Country kubeba Jamboree (yeah, swap in ”Bore” for “Bear”) during my childhood haj to Disney World, morphed into a mammoth film franchise. Shiver me timbers indeed.

kwa Jared M.