I feel like being both, but I feel like it's wrong to be both. everything with me is either one au the other.
On one hand,I feel like pushing people aside.Mostly because they annoy me,but also because I feel better when I'm alone. One the other hand,I feel like talking to everyone with joyfulness.
I feel like the whole world is frowning upon me.
But yet I feel like smiling and that I can do anything without being ashamed. Every time I do this though,it turns to be something to be ashamed about and just wanting to keep my happiness inside and to never onyesha it again.
Feeling like crawling inside a hole.
Feeling sorrow,guilt,embarrassment,happiness,unstoppable,trapped,and furious all at the same time. It's driving me crazy!
Feeling like no one can save me from the depths of my disgrace.
All of my colors have turned gray since the first siku I felt this way.
I know there's people who upendo me and couldn't live without me,but that doesn't change the fact that I want to disappear. Because all I ever do is make mistakes.
Making the wrong songesha at the wrong time is what I do. For there isn't room for people like me.
I don't want to feel any emotion. Not even upendo for I fear there is still a gaping hole inside of me that I can't seem to fill.
Feeling detached from everything is the only way I can put how I really feel. Everything just seems so far out of reach. I want to be one of those people who feel complete but it seems impossible.
I am so weak because the only thing keeping me alive is my fear of pain.
