A/N: This is a whole different story and so far, this is my fourth story but I haven't been able to finish my other ones. I may need help with them... :) Anyway, enjoy this chapter and please maoni on it!
I'd like to hear your voices in what wewe think of the chapter! :)
Take Care & God Bless,
Anniewannie/Florannie
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Chapter 1: What Do wewe Want From Me?
I stared at my reflection in my full-length mirror that hung on my bedroom wall. My dark violet eyes reflected back at me, emptiness was all I saw, along with agonizing pain that cleaved through my chest like a kisu that got stabbed in a person's chest, making the person scream au shout before his spirit rose up to the heavens above the puffy, white clouds that moved ever so slowly in the sky. My hair was as straight as mahindi, nafaka silk and pale blonde that looked close to white. My mother always alisema that my hair felt like feathers that were nice and soft and she still says it every now and then ... until she dies when I was four years old.
.:Flashback:.
"Mommy, Mommy! Look, look! I've made a picture for you!" I jumped up and down on my small feet inayofuata to my mother in the kitchen, holding a peice of paper in front of me, holding it up high so that she could see it. "Flair, not now okay? I'm too busy right now. Maybe tomorrow." Tears brimmed into my eyes, but I tried not let them out, though I almost forced them to. As I ran off to my room, at the corner of my eye, I saw my mother stare at me with sorrow and regret reflecting in her eyes. But I almost didn't notice as I ran.
I fell headfirst into my kitanda and my head landed in my mto as I sobbed with tears streaking down my pale, fragile cheeks. "You're just using me!" I screamed into my pillow. "You always ignore me when I need wewe the most, mother! Why?" I buried my head even further into my pillow, until I heard a loud 'thud' in the kitchen. I lifted my head quickly and blinked, suddenly scared. 'What was that?' I thought, jumping off my kitanda and walked silently to my bedroom door. I opened it to a crack and I peeked in before horror struck me in the face. There on the floor, staring at me, was my mother. She had blood dripping out of her mouth and her arms were lying lifelessly on the floor in a pool of her blood. I held my breath as I watched her dark azure eyes close ever so slowly in front of me. I was about to wretch the door wide open and run over to her when loud footsteps coming from the jikoni stopped me.
Suddenly, a man was standing inayofuata to my mother, staring down at her with a sinister, drunkened expression on his face and he was holding a kisu in his left hand that dripped with blood. He was my father. He smirked at my mother before stepping over her and walking right towards my room. I hastily stumbled away from the door and just as I was about to hide underneath my bed, two big, hard hands stopped me in my shoulders from doing so. I screamed as pain struck me in my shoulders before I collapsed on my knees on the floor.
"Let me go! Let me go!" I tried to pull away from my father's hands but it only made him dig his nails into my bare skin. "You're not going anywhere, Flair!" My father's voice was rough and sour, but it was enough for me to feel tingly and rigid. My father lifted me off the floor and slung me over his shoulder as he began walking out of my room and then out of the house that seemed dark and gloomy from the outside.
.:End of Flashback:.
"Flair! Get down here now!" I heard my father yell from downstairs. I sighed as I reached over to grab a shabiki that hung inayofuata to the mirror before I walked out of my bedroom and into the lounge room. My father was sitting in an armchair, watching televisheni which showed nothing at all in the screen except crackles of black, white and dark grey. "I want wewe to do the TV for me." My father instructed in a demanding voice. I obediantly did as I was told. This is how my life is like-being commanded kwa my own father who treats me like a servant and not like a daughter.
We moved into a new house just last mwezi which was June, the mwezi of my birthday. I'm six years old now and I go to an elementary school called Angels Academy, a school for girls only. I only have one friend and her name is Miya Lornes who is the same age as me but different birthday. Girls call me a freak and they push me around like they're older than me. I feel invisible when I'm ignored kwa others in Angels Academy and name-called is what puts me off sometimes. I sometimes wonder why my father demands things of me and I get frustrated kwa it too. 'What do wewe want from me?' I think, but I don't say it. If there was someone out there that could just be perfect for me, a boy who loves me whole-heartedly and cares about me zaidi than himself, that would change my life. But those are just wishes that never come true ...
au will they?
I'd like to hear your voices in what wewe think of the chapter! :)
Take Care & God Bless,
Anniewannie/Florannie
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Chapter 1: What Do wewe Want From Me?
I stared at my reflection in my full-length mirror that hung on my bedroom wall. My dark violet eyes reflected back at me, emptiness was all I saw, along with agonizing pain that cleaved through my chest like a kisu that got stabbed in a person's chest, making the person scream au shout before his spirit rose up to the heavens above the puffy, white clouds that moved ever so slowly in the sky. My hair was as straight as mahindi, nafaka silk and pale blonde that looked close to white. My mother always alisema that my hair felt like feathers that were nice and soft and she still says it every now and then ... until she dies when I was four years old.
.:Flashback:.
"Mommy, Mommy! Look, look! I've made a picture for you!" I jumped up and down on my small feet inayofuata to my mother in the kitchen, holding a peice of paper in front of me, holding it up high so that she could see it. "Flair, not now okay? I'm too busy right now. Maybe tomorrow." Tears brimmed into my eyes, but I tried not let them out, though I almost forced them to. As I ran off to my room, at the corner of my eye, I saw my mother stare at me with sorrow and regret reflecting in her eyes. But I almost didn't notice as I ran.
I fell headfirst into my kitanda and my head landed in my mto as I sobbed with tears streaking down my pale, fragile cheeks. "You're just using me!" I screamed into my pillow. "You always ignore me when I need wewe the most, mother! Why?" I buried my head even further into my pillow, until I heard a loud 'thud' in the kitchen. I lifted my head quickly and blinked, suddenly scared. 'What was that?' I thought, jumping off my kitanda and walked silently to my bedroom door. I opened it to a crack and I peeked in before horror struck me in the face. There on the floor, staring at me, was my mother. She had blood dripping out of her mouth and her arms were lying lifelessly on the floor in a pool of her blood. I held my breath as I watched her dark azure eyes close ever so slowly in front of me. I was about to wretch the door wide open and run over to her when loud footsteps coming from the jikoni stopped me.
Suddenly, a man was standing inayofuata to my mother, staring down at her with a sinister, drunkened expression on his face and he was holding a kisu in his left hand that dripped with blood. He was my father. He smirked at my mother before stepping over her and walking right towards my room. I hastily stumbled away from the door and just as I was about to hide underneath my bed, two big, hard hands stopped me in my shoulders from doing so. I screamed as pain struck me in my shoulders before I collapsed on my knees on the floor.
"Let me go! Let me go!" I tried to pull away from my father's hands but it only made him dig his nails into my bare skin. "You're not going anywhere, Flair!" My father's voice was rough and sour, but it was enough for me to feel tingly and rigid. My father lifted me off the floor and slung me over his shoulder as he began walking out of my room and then out of the house that seemed dark and gloomy from the outside.
.:End of Flashback:.
"Flair! Get down here now!" I heard my father yell from downstairs. I sighed as I reached over to grab a shabiki that hung inayofuata to the mirror before I walked out of my bedroom and into the lounge room. My father was sitting in an armchair, watching televisheni which showed nothing at all in the screen except crackles of black, white and dark grey. "I want wewe to do the TV for me." My father instructed in a demanding voice. I obediantly did as I was told. This is how my life is like-being commanded kwa my own father who treats me like a servant and not like a daughter.
We moved into a new house just last mwezi which was June, the mwezi of my birthday. I'm six years old now and I go to an elementary school called Angels Academy, a school for girls only. I only have one friend and her name is Miya Lornes who is the same age as me but different birthday. Girls call me a freak and they push me around like they're older than me. I feel invisible when I'm ignored kwa others in Angels Academy and name-called is what puts me off sometimes. I sometimes wonder why my father demands things of me and I get frustrated kwa it too. 'What do wewe want from me?' I think, but I don't say it. If there was someone out there that could just be perfect for me, a boy who loves me whole-heartedly and cares about me zaidi than himself, that would change my life. But those are just wishes that never come true ...
au will they?
Within the furthest reaches of the moyo lies those desires whose name one dares no speak. So seductive, so intoxicating, so indulgent, our most private passions burn at the molten core of our being, luring us to the very highest of ecstasy to the depths of despair. Through the ages, the words impassioned lovers have transformed a virginal sheet of paper into a sanctuary for a restless heart. Each of the pages in this journal awaits the expression of your own desires- Unedited, Undiluted, Uninhibited.... Abandon yourself....
~IF wewe DARE~
~IF wewe DARE~
Shadowing Eternity...
A special place for wewe and me,
An undying bond to guide us free.
Loneliness blocking the day,
Our upendo lighting the way..
Your gentle touch,
Your smiling face.
There is no corner,
No dark place..
Our passion flowing in the waves,
My moyo stands still.
Awaiting your pace..
Your upendo is my destiny,
your moyo is like the soul of God..
Our love, withstanding time,
Diminishing doubt, in our mind.
There is no place I rather be…
Than in your moyo and in your dreams...
-Beyal
A special place for wewe and me,
An undying bond to guide us free.
Loneliness blocking the day,
Our upendo lighting the way..
Your gentle touch,
Your smiling face.
There is no corner,
No dark place..
Our passion flowing in the waves,
My moyo stands still.
Awaiting your pace..
Your upendo is my destiny,
your moyo is like the soul of God..
Our love, withstanding time,
Diminishing doubt, in our mind.
There is no place I rather be…
Than in your moyo and in your dreams...
-Beyal