"Write an makala about your life, your thoughts, anything on your mind! Get it off wewe shoulders! Express anything"
I stared blankly at the paper. “What was I going to write?” My mind was blank. My stomach was in a tight knot. I held my fist tightly closed to my chest. I felt like crying. Those dark memories came back.
I raised my hand. She called on me. 'Miss Ivory! Yes!"
I hold back my tears but manage to mumble. All eyes were on my know. I shivered.
"Can wewe write about anything on your mind? And wewe won't tell anyone?"
She thought a little bit before answering with a smile. "Why, I don't see why not!" She giggled alttle.
I couldn't stand her. She was always laughing. Always kidding and joking. I can't even laugh anymore. au even smile. It's all fake. Just like her fake little face.
I decide to start with the title.
Name- Ivory Snow
Date- 11/4/2012
Age- 17
I don't know what it's like to smile. TRULY.
All I ever feel is pain. It comes and follows me. EVERYWHERE. There is no escaping. Like being trapped in an iron cage. Dark. Doomed. I am the REAL Ivory Snow. And here is my story.
I wasn't always an orphan. In fact i had a caring loving family. Treated me well, spoiled me with goodies. It was a dream life. Until one day. I was about 10. And my dad picked me up from school. It wasn't an ordinary day. Because he had it planned. He took me back home. Mother was at work so the house was silent. He said, "Why don't wewe hop in the shower, I'll get wewe a towel. Being a "Good Girl" I went, stripped in my bedroom and got in the shower. He didn't get a towel. He got his clothes off. He jumped in the shower, scaring me half to death. I tried to get away. He pulled me back into the torchere chamber of a shower. He was looking at me in a wierd way, staring as i tried to cover kwa looking away, but i didn't know what his filthy mind had coming. He got me in my mom's bed. he got on juu of me. He raped me. And he did it zaidi than once. He craved it. He made me. When i refused and tried to get away he would whip me, hit me. I have scars to prove it. He died. I killed him. Know i have to explain to anyone about the secret abortion. So here i am. At an orphanage, waiting for someone to say they'll upendo me. But that will never happen right? I mean who could upendo me.
I handed it in. And told her. "This is my true story" I walked out of the classroom. Looking at everone else. Tears filling my eyes. I ran. I haven't seen anyone that i knew since. After all I am the bad guy now.
I stared blankly at the paper. “What was I going to write?” My mind was blank. My stomach was in a tight knot. I held my fist tightly closed to my chest. I felt like crying. Those dark memories came back.
I raised my hand. She called on me. 'Miss Ivory! Yes!"
I hold back my tears but manage to mumble. All eyes were on my know. I shivered.
"Can wewe write about anything on your mind? And wewe won't tell anyone?"
She thought a little bit before answering with a smile. "Why, I don't see why not!" She giggled alttle.
I couldn't stand her. She was always laughing. Always kidding and joking. I can't even laugh anymore. au even smile. It's all fake. Just like her fake little face.
I decide to start with the title.
Name- Ivory Snow
Date- 11/4/2012
Age- 17
I don't know what it's like to smile. TRULY.
All I ever feel is pain. It comes and follows me. EVERYWHERE. There is no escaping. Like being trapped in an iron cage. Dark. Doomed. I am the REAL Ivory Snow. And here is my story.
I wasn't always an orphan. In fact i had a caring loving family. Treated me well, spoiled me with goodies. It was a dream life. Until one day. I was about 10. And my dad picked me up from school. It wasn't an ordinary day. Because he had it planned. He took me back home. Mother was at work so the house was silent. He said, "Why don't wewe hop in the shower, I'll get wewe a towel. Being a "Good Girl" I went, stripped in my bedroom and got in the shower. He didn't get a towel. He got his clothes off. He jumped in the shower, scaring me half to death. I tried to get away. He pulled me back into the torchere chamber of a shower. He was looking at me in a wierd way, staring as i tried to cover kwa looking away, but i didn't know what his filthy mind had coming. He got me in my mom's bed. he got on juu of me. He raped me. And he did it zaidi than once. He craved it. He made me. When i refused and tried to get away he would whip me, hit me. I have scars to prove it. He died. I killed him. Know i have to explain to anyone about the secret abortion. So here i am. At an orphanage, waiting for someone to say they'll upendo me. But that will never happen right? I mean who could upendo me.
I handed it in. And told her. "This is my true story" I walked out of the classroom. Looking at everone else. Tears filling my eyes. I ran. I haven't seen anyone that i knew since. After all I am the bad guy now.
Ivory Snow
In the beginning, that's the word everyone feels whenever they think of someone special.
upendo is the word that brings people happiness.
It gives them life, meaning, hope and faith because one man and one woman, thinks that they're always going to be together.
But in the end, upendo is nothing. Nothing compared to hatred au hurt. upendo only causes pain to those who want to be loved.
upendo is breaking someone's moyo whenever wewe hear that person say, "I don't upendo you."
upendo brings tears to those who are broken.
upendo always has something else with it.
Sometimes it brings pain.
Hurt.
Regret.
Melancholy.
Burdens.
All those things are what upendo has brought. Though some people fight for their love, evillness came raging back until it overwhelmes wewe with such force.
It's normal. It's life. It sometimes feels just right.
upendo sometimes comes with a dream, but leaves with a nightmare.
What I don't understand is how a person can tell you so many lies and never feel bad about it.
Falling in love is like jumping off a really tall building. Your head tells you, "Idiot, you're going to DIE!" But your heart tells you, "Don't worry Pretty Girl you can FLY."
You can't make the same mistake twice, the second time. It's not a mistake, it's a CHOICE.
You should know by now that when I smile and say "Yeah, I'm fine." It's a code for: "NO! I'm not OKAY and I feel like my world is CRASHING DOWN AROUND ME!"
Eventually, you stop caring. Eventually it stops being the most important thing in your life.
