In the middle of the night,no no,at two A.M,I awoke to Courtney in my t-shirt(Oh yeah,) watching My Super Ex-Girlfriend starring Uma Thompson and Luke Wilson,her loud munching of the unfinshed cake and pie,and her even louder bawling."Baby what's the matter?"I asked sleepily."I'M THIS FAT AND I'M STILL EATING!!IT'S SO MNFDUIL BLDFB!"Her last words were muffled kwa the food."For the-"I pulled out a peice of paper from my pants and read it."For the....thirty-first time Courtney,you're not fat you're mildly-well,not so midly anymore,pregnant.If wewe were fat,you're face,hands,legs and feet would be too.But you're not fat,so be happy.""WHAT MAKES wewe SUCH A KNOW IT ALL?!!""I'm a doctor."I replied with confidence."GET OUT!And uh,get me two bags of the Doritos from a vending machine,two-"But we have Doritos in our mini-fridge!""I WANT THEM FROM THE VENDING MACHINE!They taste crisper.Now where was I?Oh yeah.Two Milky Way bars,I don't care where from,five bags of cheesy popcorn,the big bags from the Dollar Tree,where everything's a dollar.I'll also need eight large bags of marshmallows,eight bags of Hershey's chokoleti bars,nine packages of graham crackers-""Let me guess,for smores?""DON'T INTERRUPT ME!!JUST SHUT UP!"Then she cried again."Baby I'm sorry I've just been so moojb bijbjbk-eeee....."She sobbed so hard her words became gibberish."Oh babe it's okay..."I comforted rubbing hr shoulder"I KNOW IT'S OKAY!JUST GO GET MY STUFF!"She yelled back.I turned to the door."Wait Duncan!"She alisema sweetly."What now?"I groaned inconsiderately.Courtney came up and kissed me."Love you.Be safe,please."I kisssed her back."I will.I upendo wewe too."I walked out(Without a shirt.Oops.) to see an angry "suite neighbor"Mr.Nichailo staring at me."Are wewe crazy?We are sick of all the noise!""Oh believe me,I am too."I replied.Mr.Nichailo looked confused."You'll have to forgive her.My wife is preganant.""Oh.Well wewe must really upendo her to stay and take care of her.I've known many men who've aliyopewa up on their wives.I did to,and I Lost the upendo of my life.I was lucky enough to win her back,but don't give up in the first place."I nodded my head,said; "Thank you!","Good night.",and then went to go get Courtney's things.I came back two hours later,and when I opened the door Courtney ran into my arms crying."I WAS SO WORRIED wewe WERE DEAD!IT WAS JUST KJ JDSJLAE KKKEEEEE!!"Courtney finsished in flawless gibberish."WERE wewe WITH ANOTHER WOMAN??DO I SMELL PERFUME?YOU WERE!YOU WENT OUT WTH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE wewe WERE UPSET THAT I TOLD wewe THAT THE CHILD ISN'T YOURS AND wewe WANTED REVENGE!OH I HATE YOU!"She ran,plopped on the kitanda and sobbed."Baby,I have perfume on because I bought wewe some."I alisema taking it ou of the bag.She was speechless.Courtney walked over to kiss me,but I said;"You know that you're the only woman for me.I upendo wewe so much."Then I kissed her."Now wanna watch a movie and eat zaidi junk, taka chakula with me?"She asked smiling brightly."Honey,if I have anymore of your food,I'M gonna get fat!And I need sleep."She giggled and pushed me on the bed."Then watch until wewe fall asleep!"She took the bag from my hands,and spread all of the contents on the bed,ripping open the packages.Then she turned on the movie she was previously watching to watch with me.Yep,good vacation. PART EIGHTEEN IS COMING OUT SOON!IT'S GONNA GET SO AWESOME I'M NOT EVEN JOKING DUDES!SEEYA inayofuata TIME! By:Lydia Anderson
