As he walked through the halls he remembered every moment with her. He remembered the arguments, the bantering, and the flirting.
Lisa Cuddy had aliyopewa him "a chance" and a job when noone else would. She believed in him zaidi than he had ever believed in himself. He could still feel her presence, smell her scent,and hear her voice.
Maybe this was a mistake to think he could come home. Could he be this close to the place they spent most of their time and be able to hold it together?
Cuddy had gave up so much over the years trying to help him au benefit him but she was furious with him. Why did she let him off the hook and give up a job she loved? It made no sense. He was sure she would see him under the jail.
House!! Wilson was calling out to him trying to get him to snap out of the daze he was in.
The board is waiting to meet with you.
"I don't know if I can do this Wilson."
House, "what is it wewe think wewe are going to do?"
"Become an island doctor?"
I know, maybe wewe could get a job playing kinanda in a night club?
au wewe could prove that the guy Cuddy was so sure was inside wewe that that guy really does exists and that she didn't waste her time all those years. One time, "in your miserable existence," get over your misery and your sadness and take responsibility for what wewe did. Either way I am done House. I will not pick up the pieces au try to put wewe back together. wewe are your own. wewe walk out that door wewe are on your own.
He walked slowly away and down the hall toward his office. His name was still on the door.
"What if the guy Cuddy thought he could be isn't in there", and what difference did it really make if he had Lost her for good?
"Was there any redemption for what he had done?"
"Was there any chance of forgiveness?"
All these thoughts running through his head and the reality of losing her again hammering his brain.
He thought that day, that when he had done such an unthinkable act as crashing his automobile into her nyumbani that, "that" would end it. He thought if "he destroyed it" that somehow he could let her go.
The only thing he had managed to do was alienate the woman he loved and his best friend. Maybe he should have took the vicodin. Maybe he should have stayed in Mexico? Maybe he should walk away now and just keep going.
As he started out of his office he ran into Chase.
"House are wewe alright?"
I am fine Chase.
Are wewe coming back?
I don't know.
It's none of my business, but when I killed Diabala and Allison walked away from me I felt so guilty and didn't see how I would ever be able to put my life back together. I couldn't stand looking in the mirror. I cut my hair, I spent a mwaka sleeping with any woman I came across. I hurt some of them, I lied to all of them, and just made myself zaidi miserable. That was the goal to punish myself to make sure I suffered adequately for what I had done.
There is nothing I will ever do that will change that moment au fix what I did. I can never get that moment back au get back the things I lost.
But I can songesha mbele and try to believe that I can still do some good things and maybe even upendo someone again. I am tired of feeling bad. I am sorry for the wrong I did but I want to songesha on.
House, "I hope you'll come back." You're the best doctor I have ever studied under au worked with.
"There is nothing that wewe can do to change the fact that wewe have hurt people but wewe can change what happens from this point.
He knocked on Wilson's door as he heard a voice on the other end invite him in.
Wilson, "I would like to meet with the board if it is still an open invitation for me to come back."
Wilson nodded; "I will call them and let them know wewe are ready."
House started toward the conference room ready to to make a plea for his job and his team.
Wilson returned to his office to make a quick phone call.
"You have reached 717-555-5683." "Leave a message at the beep."
Lisa this is James I just wanted to let wewe know that House is back and interviewing for his job. He still wonders why wewe dropped the charges and left your job. I didn't say anything. Let me know how wewe are feeling and how Rachel is.
`
Lisa Cuddy had aliyopewa him "a chance" and a job when noone else would. She believed in him zaidi than he had ever believed in himself. He could still feel her presence, smell her scent,and hear her voice.
Maybe this was a mistake to think he could come home. Could he be this close to the place they spent most of their time and be able to hold it together?
Cuddy had gave up so much over the years trying to help him au benefit him but she was furious with him. Why did she let him off the hook and give up a job she loved? It made no sense. He was sure she would see him under the jail.
House!! Wilson was calling out to him trying to get him to snap out of the daze he was in.
The board is waiting to meet with you.
"I don't know if I can do this Wilson."
House, "what is it wewe think wewe are going to do?"
"Become an island doctor?"
I know, maybe wewe could get a job playing kinanda in a night club?
au wewe could prove that the guy Cuddy was so sure was inside wewe that that guy really does exists and that she didn't waste her time all those years. One time, "in your miserable existence," get over your misery and your sadness and take responsibility for what wewe did. Either way I am done House. I will not pick up the pieces au try to put wewe back together. wewe are your own. wewe walk out that door wewe are on your own.
He walked slowly away and down the hall toward his office. His name was still on the door.
"What if the guy Cuddy thought he could be isn't in there", and what difference did it really make if he had Lost her for good?
"Was there any redemption for what he had done?"
"Was there any chance of forgiveness?"
All these thoughts running through his head and the reality of losing her again hammering his brain.
He thought that day, that when he had done such an unthinkable act as crashing his automobile into her nyumbani that, "that" would end it. He thought if "he destroyed it" that somehow he could let her go.
The only thing he had managed to do was alienate the woman he loved and his best friend. Maybe he should have took the vicodin. Maybe he should have stayed in Mexico? Maybe he should walk away now and just keep going.
As he started out of his office he ran into Chase.
"House are wewe alright?"
I am fine Chase.
Are wewe coming back?
I don't know.
It's none of my business, but when I killed Diabala and Allison walked away from me I felt so guilty and didn't see how I would ever be able to put my life back together. I couldn't stand looking in the mirror. I cut my hair, I spent a mwaka sleeping with any woman I came across. I hurt some of them, I lied to all of them, and just made myself zaidi miserable. That was the goal to punish myself to make sure I suffered adequately for what I had done.
There is nothing I will ever do that will change that moment au fix what I did. I can never get that moment back au get back the things I lost.
But I can songesha mbele and try to believe that I can still do some good things and maybe even upendo someone again. I am tired of feeling bad. I am sorry for the wrong I did but I want to songesha on.
House, "I hope you'll come back." You're the best doctor I have ever studied under au worked with.
"There is nothing that wewe can do to change the fact that wewe have hurt people but wewe can change what happens from this point.
He knocked on Wilson's door as he heard a voice on the other end invite him in.
Wilson, "I would like to meet with the board if it is still an open invitation for me to come back."
Wilson nodded; "I will call them and let them know wewe are ready."
House started toward the conference room ready to to make a plea for his job and his team.
Wilson returned to his office to make a quick phone call.
"You have reached 717-555-5683." "Leave a message at the beep."
Lisa this is James I just wanted to let wewe know that House is back and interviewing for his job. He still wonders why wewe dropped the charges and left your job. I didn't say anything. Let me know how wewe are feeling and how Rachel is.
`