This is an EXTRA SAD chapter. Get ready with tissues and a lot of chocolate.
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"Learning how to say Goodbye"

Chapter 4: The Wedding. House POV


The wedding march begins to resound throughout the church. The guests get up and slowly turn to the wooden door. And when it opens, the smiles on their faces let my imagination run free to picture you.

I'm hidden in the most remote part of the church, hoping that wewe will not see me, hoping not to make wewe sad on your wedding day.

Today I'm not wearing my usual jeans and un-ironed shirt. I'm wearing a tuxedo, but you'll never know this. Even the guests won't see it, because I plan on leaving before wewe can say the two words that will end everything.

While I see wewe moving mbele with that wonderful dress I think what a lucky man Lucas is. Wilson is inayofuata to you, accompanying wewe down the aisle. I laugh because he is zaidi nervous than you. wewe look mbele impassively. Wilson looks rather uncertain, as if he can make wewe think about going back. But wewe give him a little nudge, and he returns his gaze to the altar where Lucas awaits you.

I do not know if you're making the right choice, but I hope you're happy with him. I hope wewe can have your own family, the family that wewe have wanted for your entire life.

And every single step wewe take towards the altar makes the memories come to my mind, zaidi vivid than ever.

I am an idiot, I know. I've spent the last twenty years hiding from you, secretly following you, sabotaging wewe whenever I could without being overly malicious. And for all these years we have done nothing but build a ukuta between us, between the past and the present and the future. We must admit to ourselves that we broke through the ukuta a couple of times. All the times that we have spent together, I think I will miss them all. Well, I'll miss you. I would never admit it to anyone, but I took the biggest step: I admitted to myself.

Now Wilson is kissing your hand. He walks down from the altar and sits with the other guests. I can see his tears. I laugh to myself again - he's too emotional. I think he would have been better off if he'd been born as a woman. I haven't even told him that I am here. I have kept it a secret from everyone: I alisema that I would never come to the wedding and that I would leave after we Lost our chance. Oh god! I'm pathetic. Mayfield has made me become emotional! Well, maybe it's not that bad. I've learned so many things over the years that I had never been taught in all my years of study. I know how to upendo someone, I realized my mistake, I deleted a part of my life and now I'm redoing part of it. And I'm losing you. This time it's forever.

wewe are at the altar and the most amazing thing is to watch wewe in that beautiful dress. Well, even without that dress you're beautiful. I impassively watch the priest and your future husband. wewe don't look happy. I haven't even seen wewe smile. Give me a sign; tell me that you're happy, that we are not making the greatest mistake of your life. I need wewe to do something. I need wewe to let me leave this place with the certainty that you're happy and wewe do not need me anymore.

It's time for the rings. Rachel has just started walking, accompanied kwa your sister, bringing the rings. I can still see Wilson, comforting your mother. She weeps with joy for this moment in your life. But wewe do not cry au smile. Who knows what is going through your head.

Rachel finally reaches you. Julia takes the rings and puts them on the meza, jedwali inayofuata to you. He takes your hand and, while expressing his love, he slips the ring on your finger. Now you're taking his ring from the table. I get up and walk outside the church. I don't want to see the scene happening behind me. I want to go out and avoid this thing. I realize it's a bit masochistic on my part to be here. I open the door and go out, just in time not to hear wewe speak your vows. I walk along the corridor to where Nolan is waiting for me.

I'm leaving again. wewe don't need me anymore. Since I've known wewe were getting married I'd wondered how I would live afterwards. I considered various options: returning to Mayfield, moving to another state, I also thought about suicide. I tried but I failed.

"Can we stop kwa the hospital for a minute?"
"Of course Greg."
"Thanks."

We climb into the car and go to the hospital. I walk past the automatic doors and into your office. I leave a letter for you, hoping that you'll read it and not throw it in the trash.

Lisa
All your nightmares are gone. Now begins your new life.

Unless this is not the life wewe want.

House

P.S. Your dress was fabulous. You're beautiful.


Nolan approaches me.

"Are wewe sure?"
"No ..."
"I can wait as long as wewe need me to. Take all the time wewe want au need..."
"I'm ok. I have to leave."
"Why do wewe want to go back to Mayfield?"
"It's the first place that came to my mind."
"Greg ..."
"No. I have to go back there."
"I'll ask my swali again: are wewe sure about this whole thing?"
"No."
"Ok. I'll wait for wewe in the car."

I look at your desk, the one I brought here with your mother's help. At least you'll remember me. I look at the picha wewe have framed. I take a picture of wewe and Rachel. I hope wewe don't mind.

I leave your office for the last time.

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inayofuata chapter will be up tomorrow morning (Italian time). Get ready for Cuddy's POV.

Lemme know what wewe think. maoni are always zaidi that appreciated!

xxx

-Sissi