Mother was a handful as usual and as usual she was able to find fault with everything I did.
I am the "Dean of Medicine", graduated medical school in the juu of my class, and I run a hospital and it is still not enough to earn her respect.
She called me a slut. How could she actually call me....?
Then there is House. wewe were going to stand up for me. wewe felt defensive of me. I should tell wewe that I loved the way that felt. wewe whom I have loved forever and wanted to pay some attention to me. wewe felt like a hero to me in that moment. I know wewe needed time alone. I have done nothing but order wewe around and keep wewe jumping through hoops.
I don't know why everything wewe do makes me zaidi afraid that this is not what wewe want. I wish I could tell wewe that I am scared. I have never wanted many things in my life. My life has been based on gaining approval. But, "I want you." I have always wanted you.
"I am screwing this up." I am screwing us up.
I wish I could tell wewe that when wewe walk into the room I just want to touch you. I think about what it feels like when your lips brush across mine. I can feel wewe inside me and how amziing wewe feel to me. I can feel wewe in my core. The moment that wewe took me in your arms and wewe picked up and I laid underneath you. I never imagined that wewe would feel so good to me. I felt like I was.........................Home.
I knew from the beginning that siku in the bookstore I would never meet another man that I wanted the way I wanted you. But I know it doesn't seem that way. Lately I can't hold a smile. Lately...... Lately I am so afraid wewe will find out I am not what wewe want. wewe will realize I am not good enough.
She put her head in her hands and tears began streaming down her face. I need wewe House. I need wewe so much. Please ........
At that moment she felt a hand touch her. She didn't jump because she knew the touch.
Cuddy come here. House pulled her up gently and he sat down and she sat in his lap and she buried her head in his shoulder. He held her and he rocked as she cried.
Cuddy talk to me. Tell me what's wrong.
She just hung on to him tighter and cried harder.
Why are wewe so upset now? Is it because I drugged your mother au I tried to get out of being here? I am sorry. Cuddy do wewe want out of this?
She raised up and she put her hand on his face. Maybe that would be the best. Maybe this is just zaidi than wewe can handle.
With that he stood up. "What?!" zaidi than I can handle? I am not the one who looks miserable all the time au barks out orders like they are a drill instructor. wewe wait on me to screw up au to let wewe down.
House maybe that is why wewe lied to me au tried to get out of my birthday dinner. wewe are just sabtoging this.
Again with the lying. Cuddy I did that to save my patient. I didn't tell wewe afterwards because wewe made a production out of me respecting your wishes. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt us. I didn't want to lose you.
I drugged your mother because I didn't want to spend the evening with her and her ranting. I didn't want to listen to Wilson whining.
For someone who didn't want me to change wewe have done nothing but try to change me. I feel like I am on a tightrope.
Well wewe can leave. wewe don't have to be here. wewe are free to leave anytime wewe want. I have always survived. I cried myself to sleep many nights because of you. One zaidi is not really a big deal.
He approached her and she tried to pull away but he held on. I don't want to leave Cuddy. I.....
We have everything but the truth Cuddy.
"Cuddy what is the truth?" He put his finger under her jaw and raised her face upward until their eyes met.
"I can't..................."
"Cuddy", the truth?
Her eyes were so full of fear and then she just alisema it.
I'm afraid!!! ok I am afraid.
wewe are not the only one who is broken and screwed up. I am so in upendo with you. wewe were my ndoto House. wewe were in my head and now wewe are in my............ And again the tears streamed down her face.
You're in my moyo now and I don't know how to deal with it. I know what it feels like to be touched kwa wewe and how wewe feel when wewe make upendo to me and I can't imagine how that would feel if I...... if I lost........
He wrapped his arms around her little frame and sighed and as he began to speak a tear escaped his eyes.
Cuddy I was drowning in my self pity and my pills and wewe put your faith in me and wewe found a way to breathe life back into me. That chasm that we talked about a few years ago; wewe turned a deaf ear to it and wewe just dealt with me from your heart.
I am a different man now. I am here because I want to be here and I am trying to reach you. Cuddy come here to me.
Cuddy, "I upendo you. He led her to the kinanda and he began to play.
"Wilson had it sent over from his condo to Cuddy's." It was therapuetic for House and Wilson had bought for him.
As he played the tension in her body eased and she watched his hands songesha across the keys.
"That is beautiful House. What is it?
"Cuddy's Serenade." I composed it the night of Rachel's Simchat.
"What?"
I wrote it that night.
House I wanted to invite you. "I wanted wewe there." I didn't know how to say it au how to ask you.
There was a moment that I realized wewe had always been there to save me Cuddy and wewe took the hit and my wrath. I realized how much wewe have aliyopewa up and sacrificed for me. wewe put yourself out there for this hospital, patients, and for me.
I was so mad at wewe about the surgery wewe did but wewe did it to save my life. wewe knew I would be furious.
House did wewe forgive me?
Cuddy wewe have been there every step and took everything I had to dish out. The swali is now,
"can wewe forgive me?"
"I upendo wewe Cuddy." "The way wewe draw your bottom lip in when wewe want something and wewe don't know how to ask for it. The way wewe raise your eyebrow and square your shoulders when wewe are trying to put your foot down. The way wewe flirt with me and even the way wewe look at me at the chajio, chakula cha jioni meza, jedwali when I am getting ready to put your mother in her place."
"House", I thought wewe wanted the night alone.
"That's the thing Cuddy." I am never alone. I don't feel alone and I like the way that feels. The only thing I could think of anyway was wewe naked. So here I am.
"She laughed" and then she laughed harder. He watched her but then as he was watching her he just leaned into her. Cuddy I want you.
House wewe always want sex.
No. I want you. I want wewe to hear wewe laugh. I want wewe to stop preparing for defeat and open up to me. I want wewe to wear low cut blouses to get my attention. I want wewe to put me in my place when I am being a jerk. I want wewe to let me in.
"House." And she drew her bottom lip in as she stood up. She raised up on her tip toes and she kissed him. She took his hand and led him to the bedroom and began to undress him and with all abandon she made upendo to him.
She left him breathless all night.
They were slowly forming a bond and they were beginnning to onyesha they had the ability to bend and not break.
As the light came in from the morning sun they looked at each other and they realized this was a new siku and a chance to make history.
"Their history."
