Well, I just wanted to write a Sawmberry fic and then my Jamber feels started to kick in and I made wewe this angsty piece of crap on your birthday when wewe should be happyXD lmao. Anyways, it's short but I hope wewe like it:) Oh and I know Rach wrote wewe an Amber/Sawyer story but the two really don't go together at all lol. Oh and arts not mine, duh.
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When your tears are spent on your last pretense
And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense
When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles
And the only thing wewe want is just to be still for a while

He stepped into her room to see the room was completely dark and that she was buried under the covers. He heard her gasp for air a couple of times and knew that she was crying. Sawyer sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He softly shut the door behind him but made sure it was loud enough for her to hear.
"Who's there?" she mumbled pushing the covers off of her and turning around. "Oh." she alisema softly when she saw Sawyer turning back around.
"Hey." he alisema softly sitting down inayofuata to her and placing a hand on her shoulder.
Amber tensed up and pulled back slightly. "What do wewe want?" She asked a little zaidi roughly than she had intended.
Sawyer sighed, "Your Marafiki and family are worried. wewe haven't eaten anything all day. wewe should really get some chakula in you."
"And they sent wewe because...?"
"I don't know." Sawyer alisema shrugging his shoulders. In truth he had volunteered to go check up on this girl. He didn't know why, but he felt like he had an obligation as if it was his duty.
"I'm not your responsibility." Amber muttered as if she could read his mind. "We barely know each other."
"I know. But we both Lost someone close to us, I think that bonds us in zaidi ways than we would like." he responded bitterly.
Sawyer heard as Amber let out another gasp and turned to look at her, he saw as she struggled to hold back her tears and strangely he felt his moyo break. He wanted to swoop her into his arms, hold her, and tell her everything was going to be alright. But he didn't, because like she had said, they barely knew each other.
"He wouldn't want this Amber." Sawyer alisema softly. "Jess, wouldn't want this."

When you're overwhelmed and you've Lost your breath
And the space between the things wewe know is blurry nonetheless
When wewe try to speak but wewe make no sound
And the words wewe want are out of reach but they've never been so loud

Jess Mariano had died from a tragic car accident. He was Amber's fiancée and Sawyer's best friend. They were the two most important people to him. Sawyer remembered how his best friend had come and told him that he had fallen in upendo with his tutor. He remembered the shock on his face. Him and his best friend had never been the settling down type and now his best friend was telling him he was in love? He automatically disapproved of the girl. There was nothing wrong with her. She was actually perfect for Jess. She made him want to be a better person. He however, was selfish and wanted his best friend to stay the same so the two of them could continue to have their crazy bachelor adventures. Because of this Amber and Sawyer had never been able to get along.
Sawyer almost wanted to laugh out loud at how twisted the situation was. He looked across the chajio, chakula cha jioni meza, jedwali and watched as Amber scrutinized the menu, deciding on what to order.
It had been four months since Jess's funeral and the siku Sawyer had went into Amber's room to talk to her, and they've been inseparable since then. Many people didn't understand the constant bond the two of them had, especially considering how they couldn't stand each other before. But to Sawyer and Amber it made perfect sense. Jess had been the most important person to both of them, so only the other could truly understand the pain the other was going through.
Amber snapped her fingers in front of Sawyer's face. "Hey, where did wewe go off to?" she asked smiling.
Sawyer looked up and let out a smile, "Decide on what wewe want to order?"
"Yeah, I think I'm going to go with the pasta."
Sawyer nodded, "So how were the students?"
Amber laughed, "Crazy as always. These two girls almost started hitting each other in class today over a boy. It was so ridiculous." She alisema laughing.
Sawyer couldn't help but laugh as well, he had missed that laugh. She'd been smiling and laughing a lot zaidi lately.
"Anything new with you?" Amber asked. Although she really didn't have to considering the two of them talked every single day.
"Well, I actually got a call from Claire today. She's thinking of moving back."
"That's exciting!" Amber squealed. Claire was a good friend of Sawyer and Jess's, when Amber had met her she had taken and immediate liking to the girl.
Sawyer watched as Amber played with a piece of loose thread on her dress and he saw as her hair fell on juu of her eyes, he felt the sudden urge to brush it off of her face but contained himself. The truth was, Sawyer was falling for the girl sitting in front of him. He didn't want to admit it, mostly because he felt guilty. How could he be falling for his best friend's girl? What would people think? However, his biggest fear was what would Amber think? Would she think that the entire reason he even was there for her was to get with her? Would this ruin their friendship?
He wanted to tell her. He wanted to speak up. But his fear of angering the girl, and even worse tainting the memory of his best friend made him hold his tongue.

And if your moyo wears thin, I will hold wewe up
And I will hide wewe when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you, I'll be right beside you
I will stay, nobody will break you
Trust in me, trust in me, don't pull away
Just trust in me, trust me 'cause I'm just trying to keep it together

It had been a mwaka since Jess had passed away. Sawyer and Claire sat on his kitanda drinking bia and watching some bila mpangilio mpira wa kikapu game.
"So wewe and Amber make it official yet?" Claire asked suddenly.
Sawyer almost choked on his bia and turned around to look at her, "What?" he spluttered.
Claire rolled her eyes, "Please, wewe don't fool me James Sawyer Ford. We've all seen the way wewe look at that girl and the two of wewe have been attached at the hip for a mwaka now."
"I'm not the relationship time." Sawyer alisema roughly, "Besides, that's my best friend's girl we're talking about."
"She was your best friend's girl." Claire alisema softly.
Sawyer shook his head, "It doesn't matter. It doesn't change the fact that I'd be betraying him."
"Sawyer, Jess would want the two of wewe to be happy. And if the two of wewe make each other happy, of course he would be happy!"
Sawyer mulled over her words all night as he tossed and turned in bed. He finally decided that he had to do something about his feelings. He couldn't hold it in any longer. Sawyer texted Amber to meet him kwa the park kwa her house.
Amber walked up to Sawyer, "Hey!" she alisema quickly, "What's going on? Why'd wewe want to meet so late?"
Sawyer quickly turned towards her and sighed, "I have to tell wewe something."
Amber laughed, "What did wewe kill someone?" she joked. She then saw the serious expression on his face, "Hey what's going on?" she asked truly concerned now placing a hand on his arm.
"Amber, I don't even know how to say this. Mostly because I've never alisema this to a girl before and because of our complicated history but..." Sawyer began to ramble when Amber interrupted.
"Sawyer, deep breaths. What's going on?"
"I think I upendo you." Sawyer alisema quickly.
Amber's eyes widened as she stared at him, "What?" she breathed out.
"I mean I know." Sawyer alisema softly now. "I know I upendo you."
Sawyer saw as tears welled up in Amber's eyes and she backed away. "I have to go." she alisema quickly running off leaving a shocked Sawyer behind.
Sawyer laid in kitanda with a mto over his face. "Idiot, idiot, idiot!" he kept muttering to himself. Not only did he get rejected the first time he ever loved a girl, but he couldn't let the horrible feeling of guilt leave his stomach. He was supposed to be her rock. He was supposed to be the guy she could count on. And he had ruined it all.
Sawyer suddenly heard his door open and was shocked to see Amber.
"Hey." he alisema quickly sitting up in bed.
"Hey." she responded smiling a little. "Sorry about running off before."
"No. I'm a freakn' idiot!" Sawyer mumbled. "I never should have alisema any of that."
Amber shook her head, "No Sawyer, I...I upendo wewe too." Amber alisema shrugging her shoulders.
Sawyer stared at her shock not sure of what to say.
Amber laughed, "I have loved wewe for a while now. I just never wanted to say anything because I always felt like I was betraying Jess somehow. But I think he would have wanted this. For us to be happy. It would have made him happy." Amber sighed happily. "I upendo you."
Sawyer continued to stare at Amber in shock.
Amber rolled her eyes, "Sawyer, I know your new at the whole relationship thing, but this is generally the part where wewe say I upendo wewe too and kiss me."
Sawyer laughed and let out a sigh of relief. He got up off the kitanda and grabbed Amber kwa the waist. Pulling her in he placed a kiss on her lips. He waited for her to deepen it and when she did he allowed himself to enjoy it. After a few dakika the two pulled away and Sawyer placed his forehead on hers and smiled. "Do we have sex now?" He teased.
Amber rolled her eyes and hit his chest, but smiled, "You're a pig."
"Yeah, and wewe upendo me." Sawyer alisema proudly as Amber once again rolled her eyes. He then pulled her in for another kiss and had the biggest smile on his face.
He had gotten his girl.