Communication:
-Communication communication communication. wewe need to talk about everything, and i mean everything.
-If something is bothering you, wewe cannot expect them to know, because of the distance. So wewe need to be able to talk to them. Tell them wewe are upset. With the distance, wewe cannot behave like wewe would in a local relationship, wewe cannot be upset and expect them to know. Sometimes it is obvious, but even then, it is good habit to be straight forward: “I am a little upset right now. X, Y, and Z happened and I am not happy with it”.
-You do not need to tell them what wewe are doing every dakika of everyday. But its important to talk about big events. Let them know when you're going somewhere (like out of the state/far away from home). Let them know if you're going to be unable to talk to them for a while/couple hours, so they are not worried when wewe do not text back at the usual time frame.
-Talk about money. Talk about how you're going to visit/afford visiting. Talk about who is visiting who, and when. Talk about the future so wewe know when (about when) the inayofuata visit will happen. Money is extra important in an LDR. wewe both need to be able to talk about it, negotiate, and save.
-Talk about HOW wewe will communicate, and how often, so one party isn't upset if wewe aren't communicating as much as previously discussed. This bring me to another point I will mention a bit later.
Trust:
-Trust your partner 100%, even if its hard.
-Do not suspect they are doing something, do not jump to conclusion.
-Do not “make them jealous” on purpose. That is stupid and childish.
-If wewe are feeling doubt. Remember that wewe upendo them. Remind yourself the distance is probably just playing with you.
-Have a rule that they are: innocent until proven guilty. It is not fair to condemn them for something that they probably haven’t even done unless they have proven it.
-TRUSTTT for the upendo of god trust. It is possible to get over trust issues. It requires a lot of work, but wewe need to.
Set tarehe Nights
-Talk about when wewe will have dates. Even with the distance wewe can have dates!
-Pick ONE siku a week that no matter what, the two of wewe can guarantee you’ll be in communication with each other. So if something comes up during the week, wewe will know that wewe will talk at least that one day. If for some reason wewe cannot talk on tarehe day… RESCHEDULE.
-Dates can be phone calls, au texts, au emails, however works best for wewe guys to communicate.
Parents:
-Don’t keep them from your parents. If wewe upendo them, why hide them?
-If wewe keep your relationship secret, are wewe ashamed? Don’t be ashamed unless wewe don’t upendo them.
-If wewe keep it from your parents, when they find out, they will be pissed. And if wewe are underage, there goes any chance of being able to visit.
Plans for the future:
-Talk about the future, Who is going to songesha where? How will wewe end the distance? wewe don’t need to end the distance right away, but If wewe plan on being together forever, it needs to end eventually. And this needs to be discussed early on. If neither of wewe plan on moving away, and wewe never talked about it, wewe both will be severely disappointed.
-Don’t change your dreams for your SO. au wewe will resent them. If its always been your dream to go to college, don’t give up college to live with them. If they upendo you, they will wait until you’ve finished. If your dream is to go to a certain school, GO THERE, don’t trade that for a school closer, wewe know wewe will be upset with not doing what wewe wanted. If wewe end up resenting them, it will come up in a fight, and that will be a scar that wont ever heal.
-BE HONEST ABOUT EVERYTHING. If wewe don’t think wewe could ever leave your family, tell them that. If wewe don’t want to travel, tell them, if wewe want to wait longer before wewe songesha tell them. Everything needs to be out in the open.
-Ending the distance is HUGE, especially as the miles get farther. There’s no room to mess this up. Be honest, communicate, talk talk talk, and plan your future.
Other Notes:
-Having a countdown to the inayofuata visit is important. It helps ease the distance
-Give them little gifts to remind them of you.
-Talk about how wewe feel. With the distance, that helps. Plus a text that puts a smile on your face is a lovely feeling.
-Do stuff together, even with the distance, watch tv shows/movies, play games online/on smart phones. anything!
-Don’t hide your relationship from anyone, including friends. If your Marafiki don’t support you, get better friends. haha.
-Find a way to fill your time: job, hobby, friends. It is important that you're not nyumbani all the time, wewe will just get upset about the distance. Fill your time (not spent communicating with your SO) with other things, it helps to distract yourself from the distance
Ways to communicate:
If wewe have smart phones use:
Whatsapp, Pair au iMessage (iMessage is automatic between two iPhones that have iOS 5.0 au higher and does not count as a text on your bill, therefore is free, wewe can use it on iPod Touches and iPads as well!)
If wewe don’t have smart phones use:
Regular texts, unless you’re not in the same country. Use AIM/MSN/Yahoo messenger/etc. Email. Tumblr. Facebook. Etc.
Webcam:
Use Skype au FaceTime, oovoo, Facebook has webcaming now, Google + has hangouts, etc.
-Communication communication communication. wewe need to talk about everything, and i mean everything.
-If something is bothering you, wewe cannot expect them to know, because of the distance. So wewe need to be able to talk to them. Tell them wewe are upset. With the distance, wewe cannot behave like wewe would in a local relationship, wewe cannot be upset and expect them to know. Sometimes it is obvious, but even then, it is good habit to be straight forward: “I am a little upset right now. X, Y, and Z happened and I am not happy with it”.
-You do not need to tell them what wewe are doing every dakika of everyday. But its important to talk about big events. Let them know when you're going somewhere (like out of the state/far away from home). Let them know if you're going to be unable to talk to them for a while/couple hours, so they are not worried when wewe do not text back at the usual time frame.
-Talk about money. Talk about how you're going to visit/afford visiting. Talk about who is visiting who, and when. Talk about the future so wewe know when (about when) the inayofuata visit will happen. Money is extra important in an LDR. wewe both need to be able to talk about it, negotiate, and save.
-Talk about HOW wewe will communicate, and how often, so one party isn't upset if wewe aren't communicating as much as previously discussed. This bring me to another point I will mention a bit later.
Trust:
-Trust your partner 100%, even if its hard.
-Do not suspect they are doing something, do not jump to conclusion.
-Do not “make them jealous” on purpose. That is stupid and childish.
-If wewe are feeling doubt. Remember that wewe upendo them. Remind yourself the distance is probably just playing with you.
-Have a rule that they are: innocent until proven guilty. It is not fair to condemn them for something that they probably haven’t even done unless they have proven it.
-TRUSTTT for the upendo of god trust. It is possible to get over trust issues. It requires a lot of work, but wewe need to.
Set tarehe Nights
-Talk about when wewe will have dates. Even with the distance wewe can have dates!
-Pick ONE siku a week that no matter what, the two of wewe can guarantee you’ll be in communication with each other. So if something comes up during the week, wewe will know that wewe will talk at least that one day. If for some reason wewe cannot talk on tarehe day… RESCHEDULE.
-Dates can be phone calls, au texts, au emails, however works best for wewe guys to communicate.
Parents:
-Don’t keep them from your parents. If wewe upendo them, why hide them?
-If wewe keep your relationship secret, are wewe ashamed? Don’t be ashamed unless wewe don’t upendo them.
-If wewe keep it from your parents, when they find out, they will be pissed. And if wewe are underage, there goes any chance of being able to visit.
Plans for the future:
-Talk about the future, Who is going to songesha where? How will wewe end the distance? wewe don’t need to end the distance right away, but If wewe plan on being together forever, it needs to end eventually. And this needs to be discussed early on. If neither of wewe plan on moving away, and wewe never talked about it, wewe both will be severely disappointed.
-Don’t change your dreams for your SO. au wewe will resent them. If its always been your dream to go to college, don’t give up college to live with them. If they upendo you, they will wait until you’ve finished. If your dream is to go to a certain school, GO THERE, don’t trade that for a school closer, wewe know wewe will be upset with not doing what wewe wanted. If wewe end up resenting them, it will come up in a fight, and that will be a scar that wont ever heal.
-BE HONEST ABOUT EVERYTHING. If wewe don’t think wewe could ever leave your family, tell them that. If wewe don’t want to travel, tell them, if wewe want to wait longer before wewe songesha tell them. Everything needs to be out in the open.
-Ending the distance is HUGE, especially as the miles get farther. There’s no room to mess this up. Be honest, communicate, talk talk talk, and plan your future.
Other Notes:
-Having a countdown to the inayofuata visit is important. It helps ease the distance
-Give them little gifts to remind them of you.
-Talk about how wewe feel. With the distance, that helps. Plus a text that puts a smile on your face is a lovely feeling.
-Do stuff together, even with the distance, watch tv shows/movies, play games online/on smart phones. anything!
-Don’t hide your relationship from anyone, including friends. If your Marafiki don’t support you, get better friends. haha.
-Find a way to fill your time: job, hobby, friends. It is important that you're not nyumbani all the time, wewe will just get upset about the distance. Fill your time (not spent communicating with your SO) with other things, it helps to distract yourself from the distance
Ways to communicate:
If wewe have smart phones use:
Whatsapp, Pair au iMessage (iMessage is automatic between two iPhones that have iOS 5.0 au higher and does not count as a text on your bill, therefore is free, wewe can use it on iPod Touches and iPads as well!)
If wewe don’t have smart phones use:
Regular texts, unless you’re not in the same country. Use AIM/MSN/Yahoo messenger/etc. Email. Tumblr. Facebook. Etc.
Webcam:
Use Skype au FaceTime, oovoo, Facebook has webcaming now, Google + has hangouts, etc.
