Yep. wewe betcha. Manatees are British. Just think about it:
1. Their name gives it away: "Man-a-tee" au "a man who drinks tea" au "British dude". It's clever the way they tried to fool us but we caught on pretty gosh darn quick.
2. They have big teeth...like British guys.
3. They songesha slowly...like British guys leaving the buffet line at a "biscuits and crumpets" all-you-can eat diner.
4. They pass gas when wewe tug on their fingers...if they had any. Like British guys. They don't have fingers. Just "mittens".
5. When they drive their cars and pull into a gas station they say "Bloody well clean me windscreen!" which is British for "Hi! My name is Bob and it sure is a great siku for meeting fine neighbors like you!" Most people don't realize that manatees have a thriving automotive community underwater because most people don't ever see manatees driving. That's because--like the British--manatees drive on the wrong side of the road and ofter wreck their cars right before scuba divers with cameras can get pictures.
There will be additional fact-filled makala coming in the inayofuata few weeks.
Right after my makala about "Edward and the Vampire Manatee from Heck".
1. Their name gives it away: "Man-a-tee" au "a man who drinks tea" au "British dude". It's clever the way they tried to fool us but we caught on pretty gosh darn quick.
2. They have big teeth...like British guys.
3. They songesha slowly...like British guys leaving the buffet line at a "biscuits and crumpets" all-you-can eat diner.
4. They pass gas when wewe tug on their fingers...if they had any. Like British guys. They don't have fingers. Just "mittens".
5. When they drive their cars and pull into a gas station they say "Bloody well clean me windscreen!" which is British for "Hi! My name is Bob and it sure is a great siku for meeting fine neighbors like you!" Most people don't realize that manatees have a thriving automotive community underwater because most people don't ever see manatees driving. That's because--like the British--manatees drive on the wrong side of the road and ofter wreck their cars right before scuba divers with cameras can get pictures.
There will be additional fact-filled makala coming in the inayofuata few weeks.
Right after my makala about "Edward and the Vampire Manatee from Heck".
Hi all! It's been a while since my last makala on manatees...that's because I've been on a world class manatee expedition and I HAVE BREAKING NEWS TO SHARE!
Readers of my column will be the first to learn of this breaking research discovery: the captain of the research team I was part of is... AN EXACT COPY OF EDWARD CULLEN!!! Oh my gosh...he was so CUTE!!! If he was a hungry vampire I'd gladly let him bite me!
I'd write him notes like: "Do wewe like me? Check 'yes' au 'no'" but he wouldn't reply. I guess he's shy.
Anyway we didn't see any manatees because they were hibernating in the Bahamas but the time spent with my Edward Cullen look-alike didn't go to waste: I realized that the "Twilight" series dark hero has teeth similar to those of a manatee so I'm able to justify the time spent on "research".
Readers of my column will be the first to learn of this breaking research discovery: the captain of the research team I was part of is... AN EXACT COPY OF EDWARD CULLEN!!! Oh my gosh...he was so CUTE!!! If he was a hungry vampire I'd gladly let him bite me!
I'd write him notes like: "Do wewe like me? Check 'yes' au 'no'" but he wouldn't reply. I guess he's shy.
Anyway we didn't see any manatees because they were hibernating in the Bahamas but the time spent with my Edward Cullen look-alike didn't go to waste: I realized that the "Twilight" series dark hero has teeth similar to those of a manatee so I'm able to justify the time spent on "research".
Like any mammal that's sensitive, kind and loving the manatee is subject to addiction.
And like buibui monkeys they are addicted to Tab.
Not the citrus goodness of Fresca. But the cola sweetness of Tab.
And yes, they still make the stuff.
An ikoni from the 70’s, Tab is big stuff with manatees. wewe can spot addicted manatees because their belches smell like Tab and they wear kengele bottom jeans. They also like the
”Twilight” book series.
So inayofuata time you’re walking in the park and the sun sets be sure you’re not walking inayofuata to a salt water lake with a can of Tab.
wewe might get boogie-oogied out of it kwa a 1200 lb fish.
And like buibui monkeys they are addicted to Tab.
Not the citrus goodness of Fresca. But the cola sweetness of Tab.
And yes, they still make the stuff.
An ikoni from the 70’s, Tab is big stuff with manatees. wewe can spot addicted manatees because their belches smell like Tab and they wear kengele bottom jeans. They also like the
”Twilight” book series.
So inayofuata time you’re walking in the park and the sun sets be sure you’re not walking inayofuata to a salt water lake with a can of Tab.
wewe might get boogie-oogied out of it kwa a 1200 lb fish.
