The truth is, I kill people…
in my dreams, they're so real,
drawn like a splitting image.
And when I do..... I find out
things that no one would ever know
about them. The lies, memories,
problems, lust, anger, fear, and sorrow
But there's some thing about all
the blood, I drown in it, and begin
finding comfort.
I`m getting them out of the way
of all the Shit and Piss thrown
into the streets.
I know I may be crazy, but.....
I upendo what I do... No Sadness,
I feel No Pain au even plesure...
just like any other job, 'You
Gotta to what wewe Gotta do'
And for some resone, in my Dreams
I wear a mask made of fear.... it scares anyone...
No one can stop me, not even myself
..... au my friends. I`m just what
some one would call....The Grim Reaper.
But... I`m just in normal clothes
as I`m doing Death's Bidding...
I wear a black shati (tight) and
it's short sleeved.... creating an
affect when the blood of my victum
stains my arms, black shoes, jeans
with holes in the knees, and I
carry around any thing I can really
find inside of their mind......
knives, syths, bottles, Ax'es, guns,
(but firearms arn't really my thing)
and house hold items.
I upendo their screams, the yelling and
the sound of their finger nails tearing
at the wall. I upendo what I do, and I love
it, because it is all mine.
in my dreams, they're so real,
drawn like a splitting image.
And when I do..... I find out
things that no one would ever know
about them. The lies, memories,
problems, lust, anger, fear, and sorrow
But there's some thing about all
the blood, I drown in it, and begin
finding comfort.
I`m getting them out of the way
of all the Shit and Piss thrown
into the streets.
I know I may be crazy, but.....
I upendo what I do... No Sadness,
I feel No Pain au even plesure...
just like any other job, 'You
Gotta to what wewe Gotta do'
And for some resone, in my Dreams
I wear a mask made of fear.... it scares anyone...
No one can stop me, not even myself
..... au my friends. I`m just what
some one would call....The Grim Reaper.
But... I`m just in normal clothes
as I`m doing Death's Bidding...
I wear a black shati (tight) and
it's short sleeved.... creating an
affect when the blood of my victum
stains my arms, black shoes, jeans
with holes in the knees, and I
carry around any thing I can really
find inside of their mind......
knives, syths, bottles, Ax'es, guns,
(but firearms arn't really my thing)
and house hold items.
I upendo their screams, the yelling and
the sound of their finger nails tearing
at the wall. I upendo what I do, and I love
it, because it is all mine.
One dreadful night,
did it become plight,
my fears became real,
and oh how did I feel.
Waking up,
in a quiet white room,
counting down time,
until my doom.
Scars from my nightmares,
scars from my fears,
scars from my hate,
and scars from my tears.
Anger can spread,
until wewe are dead,
and until you're messed up,
inside the head.
Just like me,
until the last week,
when they broke my mind,
and the fear they did sweep.
I still cut,
I still cry,
I still think about,
when I may die.
But the sadness is gone,
the anger is away,
until the inayofuata person,
dies another day.
did it become plight,
my fears became real,
and oh how did I feel.
Waking up,
in a quiet white room,
counting down time,
until my doom.
Scars from my nightmares,
scars from my fears,
scars from my hate,
and scars from my tears.
Anger can spread,
until wewe are dead,
and until you're messed up,
inside the head.
Just like me,
until the last week,
when they broke my mind,
and the fear they did sweep.
I still cut,
I still cry,
I still think about,
when I may die.
But the sadness is gone,
the anger is away,
until the inayofuata person,
dies another day.
I'm numb
Feeling nothing
I'm here...but not
In class I sit and listen...
Drowning in a sea of blue
Waiting fo my call slip
To get out of class
Jittering,shaking,panicking with every sound
The dreadful slip to the counselor
Pretty and blue I know it's for me
To talk about my issue
They'll probably open me up
Look inside me and try too fix what's wrong
Probably diagnose me as a psycho
Tattoo it on my skin...leave it my record...forever
Because of me I keep them busy
I keep them watching
Friends,enemies,teachers....all on suicide watch
I guess I'm worthwhile?
They watch me closely,
Checking me......my arms
Waiting for my inayofuata songesha
Seeing which weapon ill use
Feeling nothing
I'm here...but not
In class I sit and listen...
Drowning in a sea of blue
Waiting fo my call slip
To get out of class
Jittering,shaking,panicking with every sound
The dreadful slip to the counselor
Pretty and blue I know it's for me
To talk about my issue
They'll probably open me up
Look inside me and try too fix what's wrong
Probably diagnose me as a psycho
Tattoo it on my skin...leave it my record...forever
Because of me I keep them busy
I keep them watching
Friends,enemies,teachers....all on suicide watch
I guess I'm worthwhile?
They watch me closely,
Checking me......my arms
Waiting for my inayofuata songesha
Seeing which weapon ill use
Darren is not well, not at all. Today his Grandpa slapped him for getting the wrong soda. Also, Darren dyed his hair black…. And got snake bites, Sam took him to some bila mpangilio piercing store. He looks awesome! But it seems too dark for him, and now he wears his sleeves down. I think he started cutting, just like I did. I know being emo could be a faze au a trend, but for some teens…. It’s their way to get away from the reality of abusive parents, the death of a loved one, poor times au anything else that is bad. I know that some people to do it to get attention, but if they hide it…. they are not. The scars are the wounds of our fear, anger, sadness au lust. They go away…. but not for a while. But I can’t hate him, he still is a friend… I think wewe understand, right?
Note: A few pages were ripped out because of my orderly…. FUCK HIM!
Darren’s parents and sister died in a car accident today. He is devastated, crying loudly, and screaming in his room all day. Soon after, he found out he had to songesha in with his Grandpa…. The son of a bitch, kahaba himself. I hate that man; I just wanna rip out his throat. Any ways, Darren isn’t ok; will he ever be again though? I mean… If I Lost my horrible parents; I would miss them, go insane, and die of sadness. I wouldn't be able to live again, ever! I hope his is going to be ok. I upendo the dude, wewe know?
Darren’s parents and sister died in a car accident today. He is devastated, crying loudly, and screaming in his room all day. Soon after, he found out he had to songesha in with his Grandpa…. The son of a bitch, kahaba himself. I hate that man; I just wanna rip out his throat. Any ways, Darren isn’t ok; will he ever be again though? I mean… If I Lost my horrible parents; I would miss them, go insane, and die of sadness. I wouldn't be able to live again, ever! I hope his is going to be ok. I upendo the dude, wewe know?
Couldn’t find my diary, so I had to live without talking to wewe for 24 days… but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I thought Lial took it and was kusoma it, but no… under my fucking kitanda the entire time. Damn it. inayofuata time I looked under there first. And I`m sorry, I forgot to write about my Halloween. I was a pirate… an awesome one though. The eye patch was itchy, but I still stayed in character. Lial was a jungle boy, Heather was a princess, Sam and Bekka were the Frankenstein’s, Tyler was a bottle of bia (of cores) Gwen was a Slushy, Darren was a serial killer, Nate was a robot, and James was Romeo.
I couldn’t talk this morning…. I felt sick. Eight O’clock at night now, I guess I could write. Fuck the Flu. Wow, I didn’t even notice this as an ACDA diary… I must have had a blond moment… and yes, Diary, I was blond. But then I dyed my hair black and red. My inayopendelewa two colors. Well, gotta go… Tyler, Sam, Gwen, Nate, I are going to play fork-aroo. I just glad we don't use razors au knives. Right?
Bye!
Bye!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
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That was It!
That was It!
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Bye!
Bye!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
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That was It!
Sorry, I didn’t write yesterday… Diary, I apologize. I was hanging out with Darren and eating with him, his sister, and his parents. Gosh, they are so kind. Biscuits, ham, and a salad…. NUMMY! Darren balanced 3 spoons on his nose, it was awesome! Not one fell off. I wish I could do that. But so siku I might, I hope he could teach me.
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
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THAT IS IT!
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THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
Hey, I`m back… best trip ever! Mom fell off the side walk when we first arrived; the Mexicans probably thought we are stupid. Today is October 3… So closed to Halloween, yet so far.
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Surprisingly, I`m going to Mexico for 3 weeks. Mom says I can’t take wewe with me, Diary. But, I`ll tell wewe later. Any ways, I broke up with Kate today… she called me a twat, I think that’s British for idiot. Kate never even explained why she was going to leave me, all she alisema was “I`m breaking up with you… wewe twat, It’s me, not you.” ng'ombe Shit, she found someone better. But why does she have to lie.... I don't get her thinking. I never really did...... ever. I wonder if I`ll be good enough for any other girl, a very pretty one too.
The sekunde mwaka of middle school in eighth grade is not as bad as I thought it would be. Today was the first siku of school. Bekka and Sam made out the entire time at lunch. Darren got cheese stuck in his hair, and because of the grease, his brown hair looked trashy (More than it already was). Tyler is playing plastic fork-aroo with Nate and Gwen, but the fork kept snapping in half. Hear, Lial, Colten, and I then had to go into Social Studies (4 period) and make up our test. Turns out, I got a C. That’s ok. When I came home, Darren, Lial, Sam, and Colten were already in my back yard. But how did they get there before me? O’Brien is very far away.