Chapter 17,
****Author's note****
I know that I usually start off every chapter as the inayofuata mwaka but; since I ended the awali chapter in summer 2009, I thought I could just partition the rest of 2009 and all of 2010 in one chapter!
Enjoy, Alanna
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August 20, 2009,
I was sitting alone in my room at my grandmother's house when, I got a text message from Frank. He alisema the words I had been waiting so long to hear "get ready because I'm picking wewe up and were going to the recording studio to lay down some tracks." I couldn't help but smile. This all seems unreal! I can't believe I'm actually going to start a imba career just like my father!
I ran downstairs and stopped at the meza, jedwali so I could tie my shoes. My grandmother alisema "well; it's nice to see that you've finally left your room!" I alisema "uncle Frank is coming to pick me up and were going to the recording studio!" She alisema "oh okay; how is Carter?" I alisema "I just put him down for a nap so; he shouldn't be up for a while! I know you're probably going to want to shut the shabiki off in my room but, keep it on because he's wrapped up in three blankets!" She asked with a confused look on her face "why three blankets? It's almost 95° outside." I alisema "he wouldn't let the blankets go and I didn't want to hear him cry."
Frank's car pulled up to the front gate at Havenhurst and I ran outside. I opened the passenger side door and alisema "this is going to be so awesome!" He alisema "I think we should focus on bringing your father's muziki back to life for the younger generation that may not know how amazing he was." I alisema "I agree with you; it saddens me when kids today are listening to foul music! I don't really have a lot of room to talk when it comes to that because I'm just as guilty of listening to it as they are! I really want to focus on the age group of eight and up to onyesha them what good muziki is really like!" He alisema "that's how your dad would want wewe to be with your career too."
We walked inside the recording studio and Frank put an instrumental CD of some of dad's songs. He passed me a set of headphones and motioned for me to go in the sound booth. I walked inside and could hear my voice echo as I jumped with excitement. Frank alisema "why don't we start with something with a strong hook.
I stood there as I sang "Annie are wewe okay? Are wewe okay Annie? You've been hit by, you've been struck by… A smooth criminal!" As I sang my moyo out, reality hit me! I thought to myself, wow this is really happening! I really am going to become a famous singer! I wonder if dad watching me right now wherever he is?"
I was snapped out of the trance I was in kwa Frank saying "that was absolutely amazing AJ; your dad wasn't kidding when he alisema wewe could sing!" We need to put out an album as soon as possible because this thing is going to be a hit! We could even get some major stars of today to do collaborations with wewe on some of your father's biggest hits! I still can't get over how awesome that was! This is going to be huge! I can feel it in my gut! Starting today you'll be in the studio six hours a day, after your schoolwork is done!" I smiled ear to ear and alisema "I forgot to tell wewe that I have over 1 million Twitter followers already and I've only tweeted one thing! I think they know that I'm starting my own musical career!"
August 29, 2009,
I was in the studio working on my debut album when my cell phone rang:
Me: hello grandma! What do wewe need? Is Carter okay?
Grandma: did wewe forget what today is? wewe better be on your way home!
Me: listen; I know it's dad's birthday but I'd rather stay here to keep my mind off of things!
Grandma: I understand that wewe don't want to come nyumbani but; I think it's the right thing to do AJ! Everyone would appreciate it if wewe came home!
Me: I don't want to because I'm not ready to deal with the fact that he's gone yet!
Grandma: it's not going to be a sad thing! I promise wewe that AJ! We're just going to have some cake and celebrate your dad's life! Here, Paris wants to talk to you.
Paris: AJ; will wewe please come home? Just for a few hours? We all miss wewe because we hardly see much of wewe since you've been in the studio recording your album!
Me: it's not that I don't want to celebrate with wewe guys; I just can't bring myself to realize that he's actually gone! Do wewe realize how different this birthday is compared to all the other ones we celebrated with dad over the years? He may be there in spirit but; he won't be there in person! I'm sorry but I just can't come home! Making this muziki helps me connect with dad! It makes me cope with him being gone! Goodbye; I upendo you!
September 3, 2009,
I was getting ready to leave because Frank and I are headed to the local radio station to promote my cover/single to 'pretty young thing.' The song debuted at number one on the fresh artists chart and it's been exploding ever since last week!
I ran out to the car after kissing Carter's head and sat in the drivers seat. As we made our way onto the Main Rd., Frank turned on the radio and we heard "she's his PYT, pretty young thing!" I looked at Frank and alisema "it's so weird hearing my voice on the radio! I'm so glad wewe let me change the lyrics a little bit so it was altered for a girl to sing!" He alisema "yeah me too! It would be awkward for wewe saying 'she's my pretty young thing.’ “The voice on the radio alisema "that was Alanna Jackson with her new single PYT! Check back in 25 dakika for my exclusive interview with the King of Pop's daughter! This is your man Mac Maze and we'll be back after this word from our sponsors! Don't touch that dial!"
As Frank and I walked into the radio station, he alisema "since this will be your first ever interview let me give wewe some tips. First, answer them as honestly as possible and don't be afraid to throw some humor in there! Second, just be as natural as possible, and lastly if there's any maswali that wewe don't feel comfortable answering au don't know if wewe should answer I'll handle it!" I alisema "okay; I don't think it's going to be as bad as wewe think it is!"
We entered a big room and a heavyset African-American man with a goatee stood up from his chair to greet us. He alisema "nice to finally meet wewe AJ!" He stared at my fauxhawk hairstyle, bright red hightop sneakers, T-shirt with a chimpanzee wearing headphones on it, and sunglasses I had sticking out of my pocket. He alisema "I hear that you're not the most feminine girl out there!" I laughed and alisema "glitter, ponies, and nail polish are definitely not my thing!" He laughed and alisema "yeah; I can see that! Alright, the commercial break is almost over and you'll be ready to go on air!"
As I was about to sit down in the chair opposite of him, Frank whispered in my ear "pull your pants up! Your boxers are hanging out!" I hiked my baggy jeans up and sat down. Mac alisema "welcome back to the most listened to radio station in all of Los Angeles! This is a Mac and as promised I'm now sitting here with Alanna Jackson! What's it feel like to have your first single 'PYT, pretty young thing be the number one requested song this week?” I spoke into the microphone that was attached to the meza, jedwali and alisema "oh; it's awesome man! I didn't expect it to do so well right off the bat!" He alisema "I just have to point out that your dad's talent has definitely rubbed off on you!" I alisema "thanks but; my dad will forever be the best and that's exactly how I want it to stay!" He asked "do wewe hope to one siku match the successes your father has achieved?" I alisema "I mean if it happens; it happens! I never want to outshine my dad though! My dad is the King and that is his crown, not mine!" Mac alisema "we have some mashabiki on the line that have maswali for you! wewe down with that?" I alisema "fan questions? I didn't realize that I had legit mashabiki yet; yeah go ahead! I can't wait to hear them!"
Mac opened up the phone lines and alisema "here's our first caller, go ahead." The voice alisema "hi; my name is Becky and I was wondering if wewe are working on an official album?" I alisema "yeah I am!" She asked "do wewe know when it will be released?" I alisema while thinking "January of inayofuata mwaka for sure! We just haven't settled on a specific tarehe yet." Mac put the inayofuata caller through and she asked "will wewe be going on tour soon either as an opening act for other artists au will wewe be going on your own headlining tour?" I alisema "well; after a few zaidi singles drop I'll be having promotional shows all over California and if all goes well a tour of my own will definitely be in the near future!" Mac let someone else through and it sounded like a 13-year-old girl who asked "besides your father, who are some of your musical inspirations?" I alisema "I really like Chris Brown, Drake, Ke$ha, wewe know people like that." Mac alisema "we have time for one more; go ahead caller." This time it was a teenage boy who asked "are wewe single?" I looked up at Frank while wondering if I should lie au not and he whispered "you can tell the truth AJ." I alisema "yeah I am." The boy responded "what do wewe look for in a guy?" I alisema "let's see; I really like a guy who accepts the fact that I'm a tomboy and that he will never see me wearing a dress au makeup! I also like a guy who puts me first before his Marafiki and partying!" Mac alisema "alright; that's all we have time for today. I'd like to thank wewe AJ for stopping kwa today and making us the place where wewe conducted your first interview!" I alisema "thank wewe guys!" He asked "is there anything that you’d like to say before we call it a siku here?" I alisema "PYT, pretty young thing is now available on iTunes. Don't forget to buy that and request! The official Alanna Jackson website and online store will be up inayofuata week! wewe can follow me on twitter @officialAlannaJackson! Thank wewe for all your support!"
After we had signed off the air, Frank alisema as he patted me on the back "you did a great job kid!" Mac alisema "I had a great time with wewe here today! wewe better come back and visit! I can already tell wewe going to be the inayofuata musical sensation!" I alisema "of course I will be back!"
My phone started ringing frantically and I put it on speaker so Frank could hear. Blanket shouted "OH MY GOD THAT WAS AWESOME AJ!" Prince alisema "I can't believe wewe were on the radio!" Grandma alisema "you did so well!" I alisema "okay; I'm headed nyumbani wewe guys so I'll see wewe when I get there!" An ambush of "goodbyes" screamed back at us and I hung up the phone. I still can't believe that this is all really happening to me! I wonder how long it'll be before this whole being famous thing hits me.
October 4, 2009,
I officially finished my album which I named "Legacy" and it will be released on January 23, 2010. I released three zaidi singles of my versions of dad's songs, wanna be starting something, working siku and night, they don't care about us, and another part of me. They've been playing the songs on the radio like crazy!
Frank and I wish sitting in the gym at Havenhurst when he alisema "okay; wewe can tweet something about the tickets for the five Californian promotional concerts!" I went on to my twitter account and typed @officialAlannaJackson: tickets go on sale for my five California concerts go on sale in 15 minutes!
A tall man of Mexican descent walked into the room and alisema "hi; my name is Tony and I'll be your choreographer for your concerts!" I bent down to tie my shoe and Frank alisema "I know wewe can sing but; can wewe dance?" I smiled as I adjusted the hat on my head and Tony started walking me through dance moves. Frank stood there with a stunned look on his face and alisema "you are so much like your father it amazes me!"
October 9, 2009,
Today is my first tamasha on my five onyesha promotional tour and I'm so excited! I was downstairs at the house when my siblings came running into the room. Prince alisema "we can't wait to see wewe perform today AJ!" Blanket asked "how many zaidi hours?" I alisema "an saa and a half! Frank is on his way here to pick me up and take me to Universal Studios where the tamasha will be."
After I got in the car, Frank alisema "today's the siku kid! Are wewe ready for this?" I alisema "more than ready!" He alisema "don't be nervous! You'll do just fine!" I alisema "don't worry; I'm not nervous! I'm excited!" He alisema "we're almost there! I wonder how big the turnout will be."
We pulled onto the mitaani, mtaa that leads to Universal Studios and I alisema "I wonder what's going on because there's a whole bunch of people lined down the street!" He alisema "I don't know; maybe there's a mitaani, mtaa performer outside!" We pulled up to one of the private buildings on the Universal Studios lot and Frank alisema "go on in there and I'll be in after I see what all these people are doing crowding the streets!"
I walked into what appeared to be a large dressing room with a flatscreen TV and black leather couch. My stylist Karen Faye (Michael's personal stylist when he was alive) started to touch up some skin tone make up on my face. I had to turn the volume up on the TV several times because of the commotion going on outside.
Frank came into the room with a huge smile on his face and I asked "what's your problem?" He asked "you know all those people that were lining the streets?" I alisema "yeah!" He alisema as he sat down inayofuata to me "you're not going to believe this!" I looked at him confused and asked "what?" He alisema as he stuttered "th – those people are waiting to see you!!!" I alisema as I chuckled in disbelief "yeah right; there's no way!" He alisema "I'm not kidding!!! I just talked to the owner of the park and the 250 tickets that went on sale sold-out in an hour!" My mouth dropped and I asked "so what's with the hundreds and hundreds of people standing outside the park?" He alisema "those are people that weren't able to get tickets! I'm assuming they're hoping that they would catch a glimpse of wewe at some point!"
I got up and looked out the window at the hundreds of mashabiki outside. Frank put his hand on my shoulder and asked "do wewe feel famous yet?" I whispered "yeah; I can't believe all these people showed up to hear me sing 4 songs!" He alisema "this is only a small promotional tour! Think about when you're a headliner!"
A few dakika later, I was introduced kwa the DJ and stepped out onto the stage wearing just my typical everyday clothes! I put my ear piece in so I could hear myself imba and started the set list. Beginning with PYT, working siku and night, they don't care about us, and lastly wanna be starting something. I could see my family standing on the side of the stage as I sang and they smiled.
Afterwards, Frank and I went back to the large dressing room. I sat down on the kitanda and drank from a water bottle. Blanket, Prince, Paris, and grandma came into the room and started chanting my name! I chuckled as I took Carter from Paris and adjusted the hat on my head. I really am famous!!!
October 13, 2009,
I was sitting at the meza, jedwali with my chemistry textbook as I scribbled majibu on a worksheet. Carter crawled around on the floor as I looked up every so often to see if he was okay. Prince came downstairs and picked him up. Prince walked over and looked over my shoulder to see what I was doing. Carter pointed at me and alisema "mommy." I looked at Prince and he smiled at Carter. I asked with excitement in my voice "did he just say his first word?" Prince alisema "say it again Carter!" Carter alisema "mommy, mommy, mommy!"
I grabbed him from Prince and jumped with excitement. He started giggling at my reaction as he alisema "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!" Paris came running into the room and asked "what's all the screaming going on in here for? I alisema "HE CALLED ME MOMMY!" She clapped her hands with excitement and alisema "that's so cute! If daddy was here he would be freaking out right now!" I looked at Paris and stared at her in silence for a few minutes. Then I alisema "thanks for ruining the moment kwa saying something like that!" I passed Carter back to Prince and ran up the stairs as Paris begged "wait AJ; I didn't mean to bring up daddy!"
I slammed my bedroom door and sat down on the bed. Anytime anyone talks about dad I just can't handle it! I'm not really mad at Paris; I'm mad at the fact that dad's gone forever and there's nothing I can do about it to bring him back! It wasn't supposed to be like this! I looked up at the sky and alisema "I wish wewe were here daddy! It just isn't fair!"
October 17, 2009,
Frank and I sat in the living room and he alisema "I have some bad news! Then I have some good news! Here's the bad news, wewe know how wewe have two zaidi concerts left in your promotional tour?" I shook my head in agreement and he alisema "the record label canceled them." I asked with anger in my voice "what! Why would they do something like that?" He alisema "before wewe get angry, let me explain! The reason why they canceled them is because of how well you've done and how in demand the tickets to your shows were!" I alisema "well; if the tickets were in such demand then it would be stupid of them to cancel the remaining dates!" He alisema "let me finish. As I was saying, they canceled them because they want wewe to go on your own headlining tour starting February 1 of 2010!"
I smiled and alisema "oh okay; I'm not mad anymore! He alisema "I had a meeting with the record label executives yesterday and they alisema that they want to call the tour the 'Legacy Tour.'" I asked "how many dates are scheduled for the tour?" He alisema "87; America, Canada, and the United Kingdom!" I alisema "wow; I didn't know that I was maarufu in other countries besides the US! I kind of wish that I could do a tamasha in Japan though. I loved going there when I was a little kid!" He alisema "you're still young; there's plenty of time to conquer Japan!"
November 18, 2009,
I was woken up kwa the sound of Carter saying "mommy" over and over again. I got out of kitanda and alisema "happy first birthday buddy!" I changed him and took him downstairs to start setting up for the party. My cell phone rang as I passed him a baby bottle with chokoleti milk. I answered it and Damien's mother Kate alisema "hi AJ; how's the birthday boy?" I alisema "he's good!" She alisema "I'm sorry that I couldn't afford to make it out there to help celebrate!" I alisema "it's okay; there's plenty of family coming over today!" She alisema "the go Diego go DVDs I bought him for his birthday should be there any siku now." I alisema "okay; did wewe want to talk to him?"
I tried passing Carter my iPhone and he pushed it away while saying "no mommy no!" I alisema as I put the phone up to his ear "it's grandma Kate! She wants to talk to you; talk to grandma!" He pushed it away and I put the phone back up to my ear. I alisema "his eyes are glued to the TV right now! He doesn't want anything to do with the phone! Sorry, I tried!" She alisema "that's alright; I can't expect too much from a one-year-old! Have a good time at the party today!" I alisema "we will and I will take lots of pictures so wewe can see! Goodbye!"
I stood up on the jikoni meza, jedwali as Prince passed me the blue and red streamers. Grandma walked into the room and alisema "don't fall AJ!" I alisema "don't worry; even if I did it wouldn't be that bad because the ground is only a few feet away!" Uncle Jermaine opened the front door and alisema "I picked up that blue cake wewe ordered Alanna!" He put the box down on the counter and I hopped off of the meza, jedwali to look at it. It was simple but perfect at the same time. It had blue frosting with the words "happy first birthday Carter" written in green frosting.
Other family members started to arrive and Aunt Latoya came in carrying three boxes of pizza with a gift bag resting on the top. I ran over and alisema "let me help wewe with that!" I took this stack of boxes from her and set them on the table. She hugged me and asked "how are you?" I alisema "I'm okay I guess."
The two of us walked into the pango and sat down on the kitanda alone. She alisema "your grandmother told me that wewe haven't been expressing your feelings about your dad!" I alisema "it's not that I don't care because I do! It's just hard for me; for the first 15 years of my life the only person that ever saw me cry was dad!" She alisema "I think out of all our extended family I've been the closest of you! If wewe ever need to cry I'm here!" I started to well up with tears and alisema "I just wish Dr. Murray didn't call Prince and I into the room when he performed CPR on dad! I could tell that he was already dead and I knew from the moment we sat down in that room with grandma that she was going to tell us that he was!" She looked at me sympathetically and she herself tried to picture what I must've been feeling.
She hugged me and alisema "cheer up; today is Carter's birthday! wewe have to try to be happy for him!" I wiped the tears away and stood up as I alisema "it's so hard but I'll try!" I opened the door to the pango as my dog drake jumped up at us.
I sat down at the meza, jedwali with everyone else as they were getting ready to bring Carter's birthday cake out. We all sang happy birthday and I cut him a huge piece of cake. I put it on his high chair tray and he was kind of afraid of it. I alisema while laughing “it’s just food; go ahead buddy!" Prince alisema as he walked up to me "I think there's something on the piece of cake AJ! I looked at him confused and alisema "I don't see anything!" He pointed "see it right there!" I alisema "no; I don't know what you're talking about Prince!" I leaned my face in to get a closer look and he alisema "right here" as he smashed my face into the cake.
Everyone started cracking up as I lifted my face off of the cake and wiped the frosting away from my eyes. My face was completely covered with green and blue frosting and Carter started laughing. I alisema "he's supposed to be the one covered in frosting; not me!" I knelt down inayofuata to Carter and he puckered his lips for a kiss and I alisema "I think he knows it's frosting now!" I pecked his lips and he took a handful of frosting off my face. He started licking his fingers and we all continued to laugh as I smeared some frosting on the side of Prince's face.
November 19, 2009,
It was midnight and I was just finishing cleaning up the last things from Carter's birthday party. I walked into the living room and found Prince was asleep on the kitanda sitting with Carter snoring on his chest. I smiled as I covered them with a blanket and walked upstairs.
I walked into my room and heard something hitting my window. I walked up to the window and saw little pebbles being pelted at the glass. I opened the window and looked down to see who it was. Damien was standing there wearing a white tank juu and camo cargo shorts. I yelled "what the hell are wewe doing here?" He asked "can I come in?" I alisema reluctantly "fine but; wewe better not be an ass!" I walked downstairs and let him inside as we quietly made our way up to my room.
I shut my bedroom door and asked "what are wewe doing here Damien?" He asked "isn't today Carter's birthday?" I alisema "you would think wewe would know that his birthday was yesterday because you're his dad!" He alisema "oh; well I'm sorry!" I asked irritated "sorry? You're sorry? That's all wewe have to say?" He alisema "I don't know what else wewe want from me AJ!" I alisema "you left me without even saying anything! If it wasn't for my dad I would've been doing everything on my own! That's not how it's supposed to be! You're lucky that I had just had the baby when wewe showed up at the hospital because if I had gotten to wewe instead of my dad I would've aliyopewa wewe a whole hell of a lot worse than a black eye!"
He sat down inayofuata to me on the kitanda and alisema "I can't really do anything about that now except for apologize and promise wewe that things will be different!" I alisema "if you're going to be a part of his life then be a part of it! I don't want wewe around him if you're just going to abandon him one siku just like wewe did with me! Before wewe ask, we're never going to be boyfriend and girlfriend again. I tried that once and I'm not willing to try again because my first priority is our son. It's yet to be seen if wewe feel the same way!" He looked down seemingly disappointed and alisema "I was kind of hoping…" I looked at him waiting for an answer and he tossed a condom in my lap I looked at him and alisema "fine; but only because wewe came all the way here from Las Vegas to apologize!" I whispered in his ear "by the way; your new mustache is sexy!"
November 20, 2009,
Knowing that the family would be away until this afternoon Damien stayed the night again. He's only been here at night and I have no idea what he's been doing during the day. He's going back to Vegas today and hasn't spent much time with Carter since he's been here. That definitely gets on my nerves and I won't put up with it for long.
Damien came into my room and I alisema "my family will be here in an saa so wewe have to leave soon because I don't want them to know that wewe were here!" He stripped down to his boxers and asked "can I use your kuoga before I leave?" I alisema "just try to be fast because wewe have to get out of here before they get back!" He alisema "I will" as he shut the door to the bathroom that was in my bedroom.
While Carter took a nap, I heard Damien turn the kuoga on and I looked down at my bedroom floor. I saw Damien's cell phone sticking out of the pocket in his shorts and decided to go through it. I went to his kasha pokezi and started kusoma his text messages:
Damien: I'm leaving in a few hours :-)
Baby: okay! I miss wewe so much and I hope you're getting along well with your baby's mother.
Damien: I got to go; I'll talk to wewe later! I upendo you! Hope wewe have something special planned for when I get back
***
I was fuming with anger as I got up from my kitanda and used a paperclip to unlock the bathroom door. I opened the door and stormed in. I looked at Damien as he stood in the kuoga and pulled him out. I pushed him down on the kitanda and he asked "what the hell are wewe doing? I wasn't done taking a kuoga yet!" I alisema "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME wewe HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" He looked up at me and asked "why the fuck do wewe care?" I alisema "because we had sex yesterday wewe jackass!" He alisema obviously unfazed "she's not going to find out anyway! Even if she did; the ladies can't resist me!" I alisema as I shoved him down the stairs and out the door "so wewe were just going to hook up with me then leave!" He alisema "STOP BEING SUCH A bitch, kahaba AJ!" I alisema as I slapped him across the face "DON'T wewe EVER CALL ME A BITCH! wewe CAN FORGET ABOUT EVER SEEING YOUR SON AGAIN! NOW I KNOW THAT EVERYTHING wewe alisema TO ME ABOUT BEING THERE WAS ALL ng'ombe SHIT!!! He alisema "you think I give a damn if I see him again? I don't; I don't even know the kid!" I alisema "you're a pathetic excuse for a father! That's really sad! I'm glad I care about him enough to keep him away from you! DON'T wewe GET IT? I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE THERE! THE ONLY ONE YOU'RE HURTING IS CARTER! IT'S GOING TO SUCK FOR wewe WHEN HE'S CALLING SOMEONE ELSE DADDY! I'LL BE IN PRISON FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER BEFORE wewe TREAT OUR SON LIKE HE'S WORTHLESS!" I threw him his clothes and alisema "get the hell out of here and don't come back!" He quickly put his clothes on and casually walked down the road like he didn't even care!
December 25, 2009,
It was 7 o'clock in the morning on krisimasi siku and I lay in my kitanda looking at the ceiling. I talked to myself "I wish wewe were here daddy. krisimasi will never be the same without you! I know you'll be there in spirit but; I would do anything just to see wewe one zaidi time! I know wewe can hear me up there and my new muziki video came out last week! It's really maarufu and I hope I made wewe proud! My album comes out in less than a mwezi and then I'm going on tour! I wish wewe could give me a sigh that wewe are supportive of everything that I've been working on lately!"
I was interrupted kwa Carter standing up in his crib, kitanda cha mtoto mchanga crying and I walked over to pick him up. I alisema "Merry krisimasi little guy!" Blanket came running into my room and alisema "Santa Claus came!" I asked trying to keep the magic alive for him "he did?" Before I got a response from him, he ran into Prince's room and yelled "PRINCE WAKE UP!" Paris and I looked at each other as we laughed at his excitement. My grandmother came out of her room and smiled as she asked "how late were wewe up last night wrapping Carter's gifts?" I alisema "until two in the morning." I whispered in her ear "keep the kids up here for a few zaidi dakika because I have to go sneak his gift from Santa Claus downstairs, distract him for me!”
After I had put the gift downstairs I alisema "okay; wewe guys can come downstairs now!” I took my iPhone out of the pocket on the red flannel pajama pants that I was wearing and started to take pictures. I smiled as Prince helped Carter walk down the stairs. Carter's been walking for about two months now and hasn't quite mastered the stairs yet.
I smiled as Blanket's mouth dropped as he saw the living room covered with gifts stacked 5 feet high. I knelt down to get a good picture of Carter's face as he saw the giant plastic play jikoni that I had bought him. He ran toward it stumbling on his feet and falling down a few times. He pulled himself up on it and I asked "oh my gosh Carter; what did Santa bring you?" Grandma smiled and winked down at me. I stood up and she whispered in my ear "is that where the $300 wewe got from the promotional tour went?" I alisema "of course; I wanted my son to have a good krisimasi and I wasn't about to spend my money on myself!" She sat down in the chair behind her and started to tear up. I put my hand on her shoulder and asked "what's wrong grandma?" She alisema "your father would be so proud of wewe right now! I had no idea that wewe spent the little money that wewe got from those three shows on Carter." I alisema "well obviously; I may not make the best decisions most of the time but, when it comes to Carter I'll always put him first before anything else!" She alisema "I was about to confront wewe and ask wewe what stupid thing wewe bought with your money; I guess I underestimated you!" I winked at her and alisema "have a little faith in me grandma, I have a good side too!"
Prince, Paris, and Blanket sat down on the kitanda as I passed them stacks of gifts. As I sat down on the floor blanket alisema "pass me all of my gifts AJ!" I alisema "there's hundreds of gifts with your name on them; it would take me hours to find them! Just start with that and I'll grab zaidi later." I grabbed a present with Carter's name on it and alisema as I pulled him away from the play jikoni "come on buddy; let's open up some gifts!" He started screaming and reaching for the play jikoni and I tried to distract him kwa ripping a hole through the gift. He wasn't having any of it and I alisema "fine, I'll save your gifts for after everyone else is done!"
We passed out gifts and attacked them one after another. I saw as the gifts started to fade and my siblings had opened their expensive gifts. Paris and Prince both got their own cell phones and Blanket had gotten a laptop. I wasn't expecting much because the most important thing is that Carter got everything that he wanted. I started helping grandma clean up the paper that covered the floor and she alisema "I think there's something else for you."
I looked around and alisema confused "I don't see anything grandma; maybe you're getting it mixed up with something I already opened!" She alisema as she pointed at a little red box that was hanging from a branch on the krisimasi mti "what's that?" I untied the ribbon that was holding the box to the branch and took it off. I looked at grandma and let out a nervous laugh as I asked "why are wewe staring at me with that creepy smile on your face like wewe are going to explode?" She alisema "just open it up and you'll find out!" I asked worried kwa her anticipation "nothing living is going to jump out at me; right? Like a bug au something!"
Prince shouted from the other room as he shoved syrup covered waffles into his mouth and listened in on our conversation "just open it already AJ! I want to know what it is!" I alisema "alright, alright I'm opening it!" I untied the bow that was on juu of the box and carefully removed the lid. I looked inside and then looked up as I alisema "you're joking grandma; wewe didn't!" She alisema "you're right; I didn't because your dad did!" Prince tossed his plate in the sink and asked "what is it?" I looked at him shocked beyond belief and pulled out a set of car keys from the box!
I ran out the door barefoot wearing pajama pants and a nyota Wars T-shirt. Grandma was laughing so hard she barely got out of the words "PUT YOUR SHOES ON!" I was already out the door kwa that point and my jaw dropped when I saw what was sitting in the driveway. It was the black Ford F1 50 that dad saw me eyeing when I went with him last mwaka to the car lot so he could trade-in his Rolls-Royce. I didn't even think he was watching me when I was looking at it!
Blanket and Prince climbed into the kitanda of the truck. I climbed up into the driver’s kiti, kiti cha and started the engine. I asked as I looked out the window at grandma "can I take it down to the lake that's not too far from here?" She motioned for my brothers to get out of the truck and alisema "just don't get pulled over because wewe only have your drivers permit!" I alisema "don't worry, I won't!"
When I pulled up in front of the lake I turned on the radio as I looked around still in shock. I alisema to myself "I can't believe dad was able to hide this from me for so long!" I opened up the glove, glovu compartment and was surprised to see a piece of paper inside. I took it out and opened it. It read:
Dated at the juu of the paper: 6 – 23 – 09
Dear Alanna,
I don't know if you'll ever notice this note but, don't make me regret buying wewe this truck! I upendo wewe so much even though wewe make me want to rip my hair out because of how wewe act! Drive salama kiddo and enjoy!
upendo wewe forever, no matter what!!! – Daddy
***
I paused in silence for about five sekunde processing what I had just read and reread the date. I whispered "that was the siku before dad and I had that huge fight!" I couldn't fight back the tears anymore as I pounded my fist on the dashboard. I screamed "I'M SORRY! I DON'T KNOW WHY wewe PUT UP WITH ME and I fought wewe every step of the way! I DON'T KNOW WHY wewe DIDN'T GIVE UP ON ME!" I sobbed uncontrollably for 10 dakika straight as I gripped the note tightly in my hand. I continue to cry and then suddenly I heard "I just can't stop lovin' you, I just can't stop lovin' you, and if I stop tell me just what will I do cause I just can't stop lovin' you!!!"
I looked up at the station and it alisema "jingle bells" was the song that was playing. I alisema to myself "that wasn't jingle bells! I thought this radio station was supposed to be playing krisimasi muziki all day!" As I drove back to Havenhurst, I couldn't help but wonder why the radio had alisema it was playing a krisimasi song instead of what was actually playing. I know it wasn't just me hearing things because I heard that song like it was clear as day… That's so strange and bila mpangilio of that radio station!!!
****Author's note****
I know that I usually start off every chapter as the inayofuata mwaka but; since I ended the awali chapter in summer 2009, I thought I could just partition the rest of 2009 and all of 2010 in one chapter!
Enjoy, Alanna
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
August 20, 2009,
I was sitting alone in my room at my grandmother's house when, I got a text message from Frank. He alisema the words I had been waiting so long to hear "get ready because I'm picking wewe up and were going to the recording studio to lay down some tracks." I couldn't help but smile. This all seems unreal! I can't believe I'm actually going to start a imba career just like my father!
I ran downstairs and stopped at the meza, jedwali so I could tie my shoes. My grandmother alisema "well; it's nice to see that you've finally left your room!" I alisema "uncle Frank is coming to pick me up and were going to the recording studio!" She alisema "oh okay; how is Carter?" I alisema "I just put him down for a nap so; he shouldn't be up for a while! I know you're probably going to want to shut the shabiki off in my room but, keep it on because he's wrapped up in three blankets!" She asked with a confused look on her face "why three blankets? It's almost 95° outside." I alisema "he wouldn't let the blankets go and I didn't want to hear him cry."
Frank's car pulled up to the front gate at Havenhurst and I ran outside. I opened the passenger side door and alisema "this is going to be so awesome!" He alisema "I think we should focus on bringing your father's muziki back to life for the younger generation that may not know how amazing he was." I alisema "I agree with you; it saddens me when kids today are listening to foul music! I don't really have a lot of room to talk when it comes to that because I'm just as guilty of listening to it as they are! I really want to focus on the age group of eight and up to onyesha them what good muziki is really like!" He alisema "that's how your dad would want wewe to be with your career too."
We walked inside the recording studio and Frank put an instrumental CD of some of dad's songs. He passed me a set of headphones and motioned for me to go in the sound booth. I walked inside and could hear my voice echo as I jumped with excitement. Frank alisema "why don't we start with something with a strong hook.
I stood there as I sang "Annie are wewe okay? Are wewe okay Annie? You've been hit by, you've been struck by… A smooth criminal!" As I sang my moyo out, reality hit me! I thought to myself, wow this is really happening! I really am going to become a famous singer! I wonder if dad watching me right now wherever he is?"
I was snapped out of the trance I was in kwa Frank saying "that was absolutely amazing AJ; your dad wasn't kidding when he alisema wewe could sing!" We need to put out an album as soon as possible because this thing is going to be a hit! We could even get some major stars of today to do collaborations with wewe on some of your father's biggest hits! I still can't get over how awesome that was! This is going to be huge! I can feel it in my gut! Starting today you'll be in the studio six hours a day, after your schoolwork is done!" I smiled ear to ear and alisema "I forgot to tell wewe that I have over 1 million Twitter followers already and I've only tweeted one thing! I think they know that I'm starting my own musical career!"
August 29, 2009,
I was in the studio working on my debut album when my cell phone rang:
Me: hello grandma! What do wewe need? Is Carter okay?
Grandma: did wewe forget what today is? wewe better be on your way home!
Me: listen; I know it's dad's birthday but I'd rather stay here to keep my mind off of things!
Grandma: I understand that wewe don't want to come nyumbani but; I think it's the right thing to do AJ! Everyone would appreciate it if wewe came home!
Me: I don't want to because I'm not ready to deal with the fact that he's gone yet!
Grandma: it's not going to be a sad thing! I promise wewe that AJ! We're just going to have some cake and celebrate your dad's life! Here, Paris wants to talk to you.
Paris: AJ; will wewe please come home? Just for a few hours? We all miss wewe because we hardly see much of wewe since you've been in the studio recording your album!
Me: it's not that I don't want to celebrate with wewe guys; I just can't bring myself to realize that he's actually gone! Do wewe realize how different this birthday is compared to all the other ones we celebrated with dad over the years? He may be there in spirit but; he won't be there in person! I'm sorry but I just can't come home! Making this muziki helps me connect with dad! It makes me cope with him being gone! Goodbye; I upendo you!
September 3, 2009,
I was getting ready to leave because Frank and I are headed to the local radio station to promote my cover/single to 'pretty young thing.' The song debuted at number one on the fresh artists chart and it's been exploding ever since last week!
I ran out to the car after kissing Carter's head and sat in the drivers seat. As we made our way onto the Main Rd., Frank turned on the radio and we heard "she's his PYT, pretty young thing!" I looked at Frank and alisema "it's so weird hearing my voice on the radio! I'm so glad wewe let me change the lyrics a little bit so it was altered for a girl to sing!" He alisema "yeah me too! It would be awkward for wewe saying 'she's my pretty young thing.’ “The voice on the radio alisema "that was Alanna Jackson with her new single PYT! Check back in 25 dakika for my exclusive interview with the King of Pop's daughter! This is your man Mac Maze and we'll be back after this word from our sponsors! Don't touch that dial!"
As Frank and I walked into the radio station, he alisema "since this will be your first ever interview let me give wewe some tips. First, answer them as honestly as possible and don't be afraid to throw some humor in there! Second, just be as natural as possible, and lastly if there's any maswali that wewe don't feel comfortable answering au don't know if wewe should answer I'll handle it!" I alisema "okay; I don't think it's going to be as bad as wewe think it is!"
We entered a big room and a heavyset African-American man with a goatee stood up from his chair to greet us. He alisema "nice to finally meet wewe AJ!" He stared at my fauxhawk hairstyle, bright red hightop sneakers, T-shirt with a chimpanzee wearing headphones on it, and sunglasses I had sticking out of my pocket. He alisema "I hear that you're not the most feminine girl out there!" I laughed and alisema "glitter, ponies, and nail polish are definitely not my thing!" He laughed and alisema "yeah; I can see that! Alright, the commercial break is almost over and you'll be ready to go on air!"
As I was about to sit down in the chair opposite of him, Frank whispered in my ear "pull your pants up! Your boxers are hanging out!" I hiked my baggy jeans up and sat down. Mac alisema "welcome back to the most listened to radio station in all of Los Angeles! This is a Mac and as promised I'm now sitting here with Alanna Jackson! What's it feel like to have your first single 'PYT, pretty young thing be the number one requested song this week?” I spoke into the microphone that was attached to the meza, jedwali and alisema "oh; it's awesome man! I didn't expect it to do so well right off the bat!" He alisema "I just have to point out that your dad's talent has definitely rubbed off on you!" I alisema "thanks but; my dad will forever be the best and that's exactly how I want it to stay!" He asked "do wewe hope to one siku match the successes your father has achieved?" I alisema "I mean if it happens; it happens! I never want to outshine my dad though! My dad is the King and that is his crown, not mine!" Mac alisema "we have some mashabiki on the line that have maswali for you! wewe down with that?" I alisema "fan questions? I didn't realize that I had legit mashabiki yet; yeah go ahead! I can't wait to hear them!"
Mac opened up the phone lines and alisema "here's our first caller, go ahead." The voice alisema "hi; my name is Becky and I was wondering if wewe are working on an official album?" I alisema "yeah I am!" She asked "do wewe know when it will be released?" I alisema while thinking "January of inayofuata mwaka for sure! We just haven't settled on a specific tarehe yet." Mac put the inayofuata caller through and she asked "will wewe be going on tour soon either as an opening act for other artists au will wewe be going on your own headlining tour?" I alisema "well; after a few zaidi singles drop I'll be having promotional shows all over California and if all goes well a tour of my own will definitely be in the near future!" Mac let someone else through and it sounded like a 13-year-old girl who asked "besides your father, who are some of your musical inspirations?" I alisema "I really like Chris Brown, Drake, Ke$ha, wewe know people like that." Mac alisema "we have time for one more; go ahead caller." This time it was a teenage boy who asked "are wewe single?" I looked up at Frank while wondering if I should lie au not and he whispered "you can tell the truth AJ." I alisema "yeah I am." The boy responded "what do wewe look for in a guy?" I alisema "let's see; I really like a guy who accepts the fact that I'm a tomboy and that he will never see me wearing a dress au makeup! I also like a guy who puts me first before his Marafiki and partying!" Mac alisema "alright; that's all we have time for today. I'd like to thank wewe AJ for stopping kwa today and making us the place where wewe conducted your first interview!" I alisema "thank wewe guys!" He asked "is there anything that you’d like to say before we call it a siku here?" I alisema "PYT, pretty young thing is now available on iTunes. Don't forget to buy that and request! The official Alanna Jackson website and online store will be up inayofuata week! wewe can follow me on twitter @officialAlannaJackson! Thank wewe for all your support!"
After we had signed off the air, Frank alisema as he patted me on the back "you did a great job kid!" Mac alisema "I had a great time with wewe here today! wewe better come back and visit! I can already tell wewe going to be the inayofuata musical sensation!" I alisema "of course I will be back!"
My phone started ringing frantically and I put it on speaker so Frank could hear. Blanket shouted "OH MY GOD THAT WAS AWESOME AJ!" Prince alisema "I can't believe wewe were on the radio!" Grandma alisema "you did so well!" I alisema "okay; I'm headed nyumbani wewe guys so I'll see wewe when I get there!" An ambush of "goodbyes" screamed back at us and I hung up the phone. I still can't believe that this is all really happening to me! I wonder how long it'll be before this whole being famous thing hits me.
October 4, 2009,
I officially finished my album which I named "Legacy" and it will be released on January 23, 2010. I released three zaidi singles of my versions of dad's songs, wanna be starting something, working siku and night, they don't care about us, and another part of me. They've been playing the songs on the radio like crazy!
Frank and I wish sitting in the gym at Havenhurst when he alisema "okay; wewe can tweet something about the tickets for the five Californian promotional concerts!" I went on to my twitter account and typed @officialAlannaJackson: tickets go on sale for my five California concerts go on sale in 15 minutes!
A tall man of Mexican descent walked into the room and alisema "hi; my name is Tony and I'll be your choreographer for your concerts!" I bent down to tie my shoe and Frank alisema "I know wewe can sing but; can wewe dance?" I smiled as I adjusted the hat on my head and Tony started walking me through dance moves. Frank stood there with a stunned look on his face and alisema "you are so much like your father it amazes me!"
October 9, 2009,
Today is my first tamasha on my five onyesha promotional tour and I'm so excited! I was downstairs at the house when my siblings came running into the room. Prince alisema "we can't wait to see wewe perform today AJ!" Blanket asked "how many zaidi hours?" I alisema "an saa and a half! Frank is on his way here to pick me up and take me to Universal Studios where the tamasha will be."
After I got in the car, Frank alisema "today's the siku kid! Are wewe ready for this?" I alisema "more than ready!" He alisema "don't be nervous! You'll do just fine!" I alisema "don't worry; I'm not nervous! I'm excited!" He alisema "we're almost there! I wonder how big the turnout will be."
We pulled onto the mitaani, mtaa that leads to Universal Studios and I alisema "I wonder what's going on because there's a whole bunch of people lined down the street!" He alisema "I don't know; maybe there's a mitaani, mtaa performer outside!" We pulled up to one of the private buildings on the Universal Studios lot and Frank alisema "go on in there and I'll be in after I see what all these people are doing crowding the streets!"
I walked into what appeared to be a large dressing room with a flatscreen TV and black leather couch. My stylist Karen Faye (Michael's personal stylist when he was alive) started to touch up some skin tone make up on my face. I had to turn the volume up on the TV several times because of the commotion going on outside.
Frank came into the room with a huge smile on his face and I asked "what's your problem?" He asked "you know all those people that were lining the streets?" I alisema "yeah!" He alisema as he sat down inayofuata to me "you're not going to believe this!" I looked at him confused and asked "what?" He alisema as he stuttered "th – those people are waiting to see you!!!" I alisema as I chuckled in disbelief "yeah right; there's no way!" He alisema "I'm not kidding!!! I just talked to the owner of the park and the 250 tickets that went on sale sold-out in an hour!" My mouth dropped and I asked "so what's with the hundreds and hundreds of people standing outside the park?" He alisema "those are people that weren't able to get tickets! I'm assuming they're hoping that they would catch a glimpse of wewe at some point!"
I got up and looked out the window at the hundreds of mashabiki outside. Frank put his hand on my shoulder and asked "do wewe feel famous yet?" I whispered "yeah; I can't believe all these people showed up to hear me sing 4 songs!" He alisema "this is only a small promotional tour! Think about when you're a headliner!"
A few dakika later, I was introduced kwa the DJ and stepped out onto the stage wearing just my typical everyday clothes! I put my ear piece in so I could hear myself imba and started the set list. Beginning with PYT, working siku and night, they don't care about us, and lastly wanna be starting something. I could see my family standing on the side of the stage as I sang and they smiled.
Afterwards, Frank and I went back to the large dressing room. I sat down on the kitanda and drank from a water bottle. Blanket, Prince, Paris, and grandma came into the room and started chanting my name! I chuckled as I took Carter from Paris and adjusted the hat on my head. I really am famous!!!
October 13, 2009,
I was sitting at the meza, jedwali with my chemistry textbook as I scribbled majibu on a worksheet. Carter crawled around on the floor as I looked up every so often to see if he was okay. Prince came downstairs and picked him up. Prince walked over and looked over my shoulder to see what I was doing. Carter pointed at me and alisema "mommy." I looked at Prince and he smiled at Carter. I asked with excitement in my voice "did he just say his first word?" Prince alisema "say it again Carter!" Carter alisema "mommy, mommy, mommy!"
I grabbed him from Prince and jumped with excitement. He started giggling at my reaction as he alisema "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!" Paris came running into the room and asked "what's all the screaming going on in here for? I alisema "HE CALLED ME MOMMY!" She clapped her hands with excitement and alisema "that's so cute! If daddy was here he would be freaking out right now!" I looked at Paris and stared at her in silence for a few minutes. Then I alisema "thanks for ruining the moment kwa saying something like that!" I passed Carter back to Prince and ran up the stairs as Paris begged "wait AJ; I didn't mean to bring up daddy!"
I slammed my bedroom door and sat down on the bed. Anytime anyone talks about dad I just can't handle it! I'm not really mad at Paris; I'm mad at the fact that dad's gone forever and there's nothing I can do about it to bring him back! It wasn't supposed to be like this! I looked up at the sky and alisema "I wish wewe were here daddy! It just isn't fair!"
October 17, 2009,
Frank and I sat in the living room and he alisema "I have some bad news! Then I have some good news! Here's the bad news, wewe know how wewe have two zaidi concerts left in your promotional tour?" I shook my head in agreement and he alisema "the record label canceled them." I asked with anger in my voice "what! Why would they do something like that?" He alisema "before wewe get angry, let me explain! The reason why they canceled them is because of how well you've done and how in demand the tickets to your shows were!" I alisema "well; if the tickets were in such demand then it would be stupid of them to cancel the remaining dates!" He alisema "let me finish. As I was saying, they canceled them because they want wewe to go on your own headlining tour starting February 1 of 2010!"
I smiled and alisema "oh okay; I'm not mad anymore! He alisema "I had a meeting with the record label executives yesterday and they alisema that they want to call the tour the 'Legacy Tour.'" I asked "how many dates are scheduled for the tour?" He alisema "87; America, Canada, and the United Kingdom!" I alisema "wow; I didn't know that I was maarufu in other countries besides the US! I kind of wish that I could do a tamasha in Japan though. I loved going there when I was a little kid!" He alisema "you're still young; there's plenty of time to conquer Japan!"
November 18, 2009,
I was woken up kwa the sound of Carter saying "mommy" over and over again. I got out of kitanda and alisema "happy first birthday buddy!" I changed him and took him downstairs to start setting up for the party. My cell phone rang as I passed him a baby bottle with chokoleti milk. I answered it and Damien's mother Kate alisema "hi AJ; how's the birthday boy?" I alisema "he's good!" She alisema "I'm sorry that I couldn't afford to make it out there to help celebrate!" I alisema "it's okay; there's plenty of family coming over today!" She alisema "the go Diego go DVDs I bought him for his birthday should be there any siku now." I alisema "okay; did wewe want to talk to him?"
I tried passing Carter my iPhone and he pushed it away while saying "no mommy no!" I alisema as I put the phone up to his ear "it's grandma Kate! She wants to talk to you; talk to grandma!" He pushed it away and I put the phone back up to my ear. I alisema "his eyes are glued to the TV right now! He doesn't want anything to do with the phone! Sorry, I tried!" She alisema "that's alright; I can't expect too much from a one-year-old! Have a good time at the party today!" I alisema "we will and I will take lots of pictures so wewe can see! Goodbye!"
I stood up on the jikoni meza, jedwali as Prince passed me the blue and red streamers. Grandma walked into the room and alisema "don't fall AJ!" I alisema "don't worry; even if I did it wouldn't be that bad because the ground is only a few feet away!" Uncle Jermaine opened the front door and alisema "I picked up that blue cake wewe ordered Alanna!" He put the box down on the counter and I hopped off of the meza, jedwali to look at it. It was simple but perfect at the same time. It had blue frosting with the words "happy first birthday Carter" written in green frosting.
Other family members started to arrive and Aunt Latoya came in carrying three boxes of pizza with a gift bag resting on the top. I ran over and alisema "let me help wewe with that!" I took this stack of boxes from her and set them on the table. She hugged me and asked "how are you?" I alisema "I'm okay I guess."
The two of us walked into the pango and sat down on the kitanda alone. She alisema "your grandmother told me that wewe haven't been expressing your feelings about your dad!" I alisema "it's not that I don't care because I do! It's just hard for me; for the first 15 years of my life the only person that ever saw me cry was dad!" She alisema "I think out of all our extended family I've been the closest of you! If wewe ever need to cry I'm here!" I started to well up with tears and alisema "I just wish Dr. Murray didn't call Prince and I into the room when he performed CPR on dad! I could tell that he was already dead and I knew from the moment we sat down in that room with grandma that she was going to tell us that he was!" She looked at me sympathetically and she herself tried to picture what I must've been feeling.
She hugged me and alisema "cheer up; today is Carter's birthday! wewe have to try to be happy for him!" I wiped the tears away and stood up as I alisema "it's so hard but I'll try!" I opened the door to the pango as my dog drake jumped up at us.
I sat down at the meza, jedwali with everyone else as they were getting ready to bring Carter's birthday cake out. We all sang happy birthday and I cut him a huge piece of cake. I put it on his high chair tray and he was kind of afraid of it. I alisema while laughing “it’s just food; go ahead buddy!" Prince alisema as he walked up to me "I think there's something on the piece of cake AJ! I looked at him confused and alisema "I don't see anything!" He pointed "see it right there!" I alisema "no; I don't know what you're talking about Prince!" I leaned my face in to get a closer look and he alisema "right here" as he smashed my face into the cake.
Everyone started cracking up as I lifted my face off of the cake and wiped the frosting away from my eyes. My face was completely covered with green and blue frosting and Carter started laughing. I alisema "he's supposed to be the one covered in frosting; not me!" I knelt down inayofuata to Carter and he puckered his lips for a kiss and I alisema "I think he knows it's frosting now!" I pecked his lips and he took a handful of frosting off my face. He started licking his fingers and we all continued to laugh as I smeared some frosting on the side of Prince's face.
November 19, 2009,
It was midnight and I was just finishing cleaning up the last things from Carter's birthday party. I walked into the living room and found Prince was asleep on the kitanda sitting with Carter snoring on his chest. I smiled as I covered them with a blanket and walked upstairs.
I walked into my room and heard something hitting my window. I walked up to the window and saw little pebbles being pelted at the glass. I opened the window and looked down to see who it was. Damien was standing there wearing a white tank juu and camo cargo shorts. I yelled "what the hell are wewe doing here?" He asked "can I come in?" I alisema reluctantly "fine but; wewe better not be an ass!" I walked downstairs and let him inside as we quietly made our way up to my room.
I shut my bedroom door and asked "what are wewe doing here Damien?" He asked "isn't today Carter's birthday?" I alisema "you would think wewe would know that his birthday was yesterday because you're his dad!" He alisema "oh; well I'm sorry!" I asked irritated "sorry? You're sorry? That's all wewe have to say?" He alisema "I don't know what else wewe want from me AJ!" I alisema "you left me without even saying anything! If it wasn't for my dad I would've been doing everything on my own! That's not how it's supposed to be! You're lucky that I had just had the baby when wewe showed up at the hospital because if I had gotten to wewe instead of my dad I would've aliyopewa wewe a whole hell of a lot worse than a black eye!"
He sat down inayofuata to me on the kitanda and alisema "I can't really do anything about that now except for apologize and promise wewe that things will be different!" I alisema "if you're going to be a part of his life then be a part of it! I don't want wewe around him if you're just going to abandon him one siku just like wewe did with me! Before wewe ask, we're never going to be boyfriend and girlfriend again. I tried that once and I'm not willing to try again because my first priority is our son. It's yet to be seen if wewe feel the same way!" He looked down seemingly disappointed and alisema "I was kind of hoping…" I looked at him waiting for an answer and he tossed a condom in my lap I looked at him and alisema "fine; but only because wewe came all the way here from Las Vegas to apologize!" I whispered in his ear "by the way; your new mustache is sexy!"
November 20, 2009,
Knowing that the family would be away until this afternoon Damien stayed the night again. He's only been here at night and I have no idea what he's been doing during the day. He's going back to Vegas today and hasn't spent much time with Carter since he's been here. That definitely gets on my nerves and I won't put up with it for long.
Damien came into my room and I alisema "my family will be here in an saa so wewe have to leave soon because I don't want them to know that wewe were here!" He stripped down to his boxers and asked "can I use your kuoga before I leave?" I alisema "just try to be fast because wewe have to get out of here before they get back!" He alisema "I will" as he shut the door to the bathroom that was in my bedroom.
While Carter took a nap, I heard Damien turn the kuoga on and I looked down at my bedroom floor. I saw Damien's cell phone sticking out of the pocket in his shorts and decided to go through it. I went to his kasha pokezi and started kusoma his text messages:
Damien: I'm leaving in a few hours :-)
Baby: okay! I miss wewe so much and I hope you're getting along well with your baby's mother.
Damien: I got to go; I'll talk to wewe later! I upendo you! Hope wewe have something special planned for when I get back
***
I was fuming with anger as I got up from my kitanda and used a paperclip to unlock the bathroom door. I opened the door and stormed in. I looked at Damien as he stood in the kuoga and pulled him out. I pushed him down on the kitanda and he asked "what the hell are wewe doing? I wasn't done taking a kuoga yet!" I alisema "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME wewe HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" He looked up at me and asked "why the fuck do wewe care?" I alisema "because we had sex yesterday wewe jackass!" He alisema obviously unfazed "she's not going to find out anyway! Even if she did; the ladies can't resist me!" I alisema as I shoved him down the stairs and out the door "so wewe were just going to hook up with me then leave!" He alisema "STOP BEING SUCH A bitch, kahaba AJ!" I alisema as I slapped him across the face "DON'T wewe EVER CALL ME A BITCH! wewe CAN FORGET ABOUT EVER SEEING YOUR SON AGAIN! NOW I KNOW THAT EVERYTHING wewe alisema TO ME ABOUT BEING THERE WAS ALL ng'ombe SHIT!!! He alisema "you think I give a damn if I see him again? I don't; I don't even know the kid!" I alisema "you're a pathetic excuse for a father! That's really sad! I'm glad I care about him enough to keep him away from you! DON'T wewe GET IT? I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE THERE! THE ONLY ONE YOU'RE HURTING IS CARTER! IT'S GOING TO SUCK FOR wewe WHEN HE'S CALLING SOMEONE ELSE DADDY! I'LL BE IN PRISON FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER BEFORE wewe TREAT OUR SON LIKE HE'S WORTHLESS!" I threw him his clothes and alisema "get the hell out of here and don't come back!" He quickly put his clothes on and casually walked down the road like he didn't even care!
December 25, 2009,
It was 7 o'clock in the morning on krisimasi siku and I lay in my kitanda looking at the ceiling. I talked to myself "I wish wewe were here daddy. krisimasi will never be the same without you! I know you'll be there in spirit but; I would do anything just to see wewe one zaidi time! I know wewe can hear me up there and my new muziki video came out last week! It's really maarufu and I hope I made wewe proud! My album comes out in less than a mwezi and then I'm going on tour! I wish wewe could give me a sigh that wewe are supportive of everything that I've been working on lately!"
I was interrupted kwa Carter standing up in his crib, kitanda cha mtoto mchanga crying and I walked over to pick him up. I alisema "Merry krisimasi little guy!" Blanket came running into my room and alisema "Santa Claus came!" I asked trying to keep the magic alive for him "he did?" Before I got a response from him, he ran into Prince's room and yelled "PRINCE WAKE UP!" Paris and I looked at each other as we laughed at his excitement. My grandmother came out of her room and smiled as she asked "how late were wewe up last night wrapping Carter's gifts?" I alisema "until two in the morning." I whispered in her ear "keep the kids up here for a few zaidi dakika because I have to go sneak his gift from Santa Claus downstairs, distract him for me!”
After I had put the gift downstairs I alisema "okay; wewe guys can come downstairs now!” I took my iPhone out of the pocket on the red flannel pajama pants that I was wearing and started to take pictures. I smiled as Prince helped Carter walk down the stairs. Carter's been walking for about two months now and hasn't quite mastered the stairs yet.
I smiled as Blanket's mouth dropped as he saw the living room covered with gifts stacked 5 feet high. I knelt down to get a good picture of Carter's face as he saw the giant plastic play jikoni that I had bought him. He ran toward it stumbling on his feet and falling down a few times. He pulled himself up on it and I asked "oh my gosh Carter; what did Santa bring you?" Grandma smiled and winked down at me. I stood up and she whispered in my ear "is that where the $300 wewe got from the promotional tour went?" I alisema "of course; I wanted my son to have a good krisimasi and I wasn't about to spend my money on myself!" She sat down in the chair behind her and started to tear up. I put my hand on her shoulder and asked "what's wrong grandma?" She alisema "your father would be so proud of wewe right now! I had no idea that wewe spent the little money that wewe got from those three shows on Carter." I alisema "well obviously; I may not make the best decisions most of the time but, when it comes to Carter I'll always put him first before anything else!" She alisema "I was about to confront wewe and ask wewe what stupid thing wewe bought with your money; I guess I underestimated you!" I winked at her and alisema "have a little faith in me grandma, I have a good side too!"
Prince, Paris, and Blanket sat down on the kitanda as I passed them stacks of gifts. As I sat down on the floor blanket alisema "pass me all of my gifts AJ!" I alisema "there's hundreds of gifts with your name on them; it would take me hours to find them! Just start with that and I'll grab zaidi later." I grabbed a present with Carter's name on it and alisema as I pulled him away from the play jikoni "come on buddy; let's open up some gifts!" He started screaming and reaching for the play jikoni and I tried to distract him kwa ripping a hole through the gift. He wasn't having any of it and I alisema "fine, I'll save your gifts for after everyone else is done!"
We passed out gifts and attacked them one after another. I saw as the gifts started to fade and my siblings had opened their expensive gifts. Paris and Prince both got their own cell phones and Blanket had gotten a laptop. I wasn't expecting much because the most important thing is that Carter got everything that he wanted. I started helping grandma clean up the paper that covered the floor and she alisema "I think there's something else for you."
I looked around and alisema confused "I don't see anything grandma; maybe you're getting it mixed up with something I already opened!" She alisema as she pointed at a little red box that was hanging from a branch on the krisimasi mti "what's that?" I untied the ribbon that was holding the box to the branch and took it off. I looked at grandma and let out a nervous laugh as I asked "why are wewe staring at me with that creepy smile on your face like wewe are going to explode?" She alisema "just open it up and you'll find out!" I asked worried kwa her anticipation "nothing living is going to jump out at me; right? Like a bug au something!"
Prince shouted from the other room as he shoved syrup covered waffles into his mouth and listened in on our conversation "just open it already AJ! I want to know what it is!" I alisema "alright, alright I'm opening it!" I untied the bow that was on juu of the box and carefully removed the lid. I looked inside and then looked up as I alisema "you're joking grandma; wewe didn't!" She alisema "you're right; I didn't because your dad did!" Prince tossed his plate in the sink and asked "what is it?" I looked at him shocked beyond belief and pulled out a set of car keys from the box!
I ran out the door barefoot wearing pajama pants and a nyota Wars T-shirt. Grandma was laughing so hard she barely got out of the words "PUT YOUR SHOES ON!" I was already out the door kwa that point and my jaw dropped when I saw what was sitting in the driveway. It was the black Ford F1 50 that dad saw me eyeing when I went with him last mwaka to the car lot so he could trade-in his Rolls-Royce. I didn't even think he was watching me when I was looking at it!
Blanket and Prince climbed into the kitanda of the truck. I climbed up into the driver’s kiti, kiti cha and started the engine. I asked as I looked out the window at grandma "can I take it down to the lake that's not too far from here?" She motioned for my brothers to get out of the truck and alisema "just don't get pulled over because wewe only have your drivers permit!" I alisema "don't worry, I won't!"
When I pulled up in front of the lake I turned on the radio as I looked around still in shock. I alisema to myself "I can't believe dad was able to hide this from me for so long!" I opened up the glove, glovu compartment and was surprised to see a piece of paper inside. I took it out and opened it. It read:
Dated at the juu of the paper: 6 – 23 – 09
Dear Alanna,
I don't know if you'll ever notice this note but, don't make me regret buying wewe this truck! I upendo wewe so much even though wewe make me want to rip my hair out because of how wewe act! Drive salama kiddo and enjoy!
upendo wewe forever, no matter what!!! – Daddy
***
I paused in silence for about five sekunde processing what I had just read and reread the date. I whispered "that was the siku before dad and I had that huge fight!" I couldn't fight back the tears anymore as I pounded my fist on the dashboard. I screamed "I'M SORRY! I DON'T KNOW WHY wewe PUT UP WITH ME and I fought wewe every step of the way! I DON'T KNOW WHY wewe DIDN'T GIVE UP ON ME!" I sobbed uncontrollably for 10 dakika straight as I gripped the note tightly in my hand. I continue to cry and then suddenly I heard "I just can't stop lovin' you, I just can't stop lovin' you, and if I stop tell me just what will I do cause I just can't stop lovin' you!!!"
I looked up at the station and it alisema "jingle bells" was the song that was playing. I alisema to myself "that wasn't jingle bells! I thought this radio station was supposed to be playing krisimasi muziki all day!" As I drove back to Havenhurst, I couldn't help but wonder why the radio had alisema it was playing a krisimasi song instead of what was actually playing. I know it wasn't just me hearing things because I heard that song like it was clear as day… That's so strange and bila mpangilio of that radio station!!!