Niall Horan Fanfic Chapter 21: My moyo Will Go On
I couldn’t breathe. He must be lying. This couldn’t be happening right? I was asleep and this was a nightmare.
“You’re kidding right? Like this is all some joke. Niall it’s not funny. Stop.” I said.
“Hazel, I’m so sorry.” He alisema his eyes were shining with tears.
“Niall?” I whispered and then I collapsed.
My body folded over and my head fell into Niall’s lap. Niall and I had been the only ones on the bus, but I had a feeling that everyone else knew.
I stayed like that for a while just sobbing into Niall. He rubbed my back and my head. I couldn’t believe my best friend had died. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
A little while later everyone else came on the bus. I was sitting with my head on my knees. I wasn’t crying anymore. It felt like I was living in a dead state. Nothing mattered. Harry came and sat inayofuata to me.
“Hazel?” he alisema questioningly.
I couldn’t speak, but I turned my head to him face him in response.
“I know you’re sad. But we are all here for wewe every step of the way. Not just Niall. wewe can come to any of us, for anything, whenever.” He alisema putting his arm around me.
I buried my head in his neck and cried. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. I was sobbing again. I started to hyperventilate. I couldn’t breathe. How could everything have gone so wrong so fast?
I somehow ended up in kitanda back at the hotel. I don’t know how au when I got there, au how au when I was going to leave. How could I possibly perform, I couldn’t even breathe without thinking of Ally and how she should be here. Alive.
There was a knock at the door. I couldn’t even get up to see who it was. Half of my life was missing. The knock got louder. I was starting to get really annoyed.
“Hazel!” someone shouted from outside the door.
“GO AWAY!” I screamed.
The door opened and Niall walked in.
“Hazel, you’ve been in here for two weeks. When are wewe going to get up?” he alisema sympathetically.
I’d been here for two weeks. I thought I’d been here only one day. I didn’t know where time was going. I honestly didn’t care.
“You can talk to me wewe know.” Niall said. He looked sad.
“Yeah.” I alisema nodding my head.
“Ally,” he alisema pausing slightly to look up and see my reaction at the name, seeing I was okay he continued, “She, she would want wewe to be happy. To get up every siku and live your life. Live for her Hazel. Moping around and stopping your life won’t bring her back. She loved wewe and would want wewe to go on, with au without her. You’ll be okay. She’s somewhere up there watching over you.”
“Niall?” I alisema half whispering.
“Yeah?” he answered.
“Will I ever be okay again?” I alisema beginning to cry.
“Of course wewe will.” He alisema grabbing me and pulling me into a hug.
I buried my face in his arm. I cried softly. I could feel his moyo beating. I could feel the warmth of his skin on mine, his breath on my head as he exhaled. I took in his smell. He was here. I needed him.
“Niall?” I alisema again.
“Yeah?” he answered again.
“Will I ever lose you?” I said.
“Hazel, no, just because Ally is gone doesn’t mean that everyone is going to die au leave you.” He alisema kissing my head.
“Niall, I upendo you.” I said.
“I upendo wewe too.” He answered.
We stayed like that for a while. Him holding me and slowly rocking me back and forth.
“Did I already miss the wake and funeral?” I asked him.
“Yeah, they happened a few days ago. I bought a condolence card and signed your name on it and sent it to Ally’s family, since wewe couldn’t go.” He said.
“I’m such a terrible friend.” I whispered.
“What? No don’t say that.” He said.
“I was too busy crying over me to go nyumbani and attend her funeral. They’ll only bury her once. I can’t make up for that.” I alisema beginning to hyperventilate.
“No Hazel, no stop.” Niall alisema rubbing my back.
“I’ll never be able to face her family.” I said.
“They’ll understand Hazel, wewe were grieving over her. Stop beating yourself up over this. Nothing is wewe fault. wewe are okay.” He said.
I kept crying. Nothing could make me feel better.
“We should probably pack your stuff.” Niall said.
“What? Why?” I asked.
“The tour, it’s over. We have a flight tomorrow.” He said.
“Am I going home?” I asked.
“Yes. You’re going back to Boston.” He said.
“Where are wewe going?” I asked.
“Ireland.” He mumbled.
“I have to go back alone?” I asked, starting to panic.
“Hazel, you’ll be fine. Trust me. I called your parents and they’ll pick wewe up from the airport. Everything will be okay. wewe don’t have to do anything wewe aren’t ready to do.” He said.
“Will wewe come and visit me? I won’t be able to make it without you.” I alisema shaking my head.
“Of course, I’m going nyumbani today, actually in a half an saa I have to leave, I’ll be there for two days. You’re leaving here tomorrow night. kwa the time wewe get nyumbani I’ll be there. The boys, Eleanor, and Danielle are taking wewe to the airport tomorrow. Everything will be okay.” He said.
“Okay.” I alisema calming down.
Niall packed my suitcases and then we alisema our goodbyes.
“I upendo wewe okay. Don’t forget that. I’m okay and so are you. I upendo you.” He said.
“I upendo wewe too.” I alisema kissing him.
He smiled at me and then walked away. I went and found Harry. He walked me into his room and brought my suitcases. I was going to stay with him until we had to leave. We spent all siku and night sitting on the kitanda watching T.V.
“I’m starving. Do wewe want anything?” he asked.
“No.” I said.
“Haze wewe haven’t eaten in weeks, literally, wanna go out for ice cream?” he asked.
I was about to say no when I remembered what Niall alisema about Ally wanting me to live on. I wanted to live for her.
“Yeah.” I alisema mustering up the best smile I could.
“Cool.” Harry said.
We went out for ice cream and I had a really good time. I felt guilty that I was having fun while Ally was dead. I told Harry.
“Hazel, listen, it’s not your fault she died. Not having fun isn’t going to do anything for anyone. wewe are still alive, and wewe need to live.” He said.
I nodded. That made me fell a lot better.
The inayofuata siku Harry took me to the airport. He hugged me goodbye and I didn’t want him to let go.
“I’ll see wewe soon, yeah?” he said.
“Yeah.” I answered.
I boarded the plane and took my seat. When we were up in the sky all I could think of was that Ally was up here too. I stared out the window the whole time until I got home. My parents greeted me at the airport. We drove nyumbani in silence. When I got there I went straight to me room. There were pictures of me and Ally everywhere. I almost took them down, but then I realized I wanted them there seeing her made me feel close to her.
I checked my phone and got a missed text from Niall.
From Niall:
hujambo babe :)Be ready kwa 4 p.m. I upendo wewe babe :)xx wear black btw.
I got dressed and waited outside. A black limo pulled up to my house. Niall stepped out in a black suit. I upendo him.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Just get in.” he said.
I got in the limo and we drove away. I was really confused.
I couldn’t breathe. He must be lying. This couldn’t be happening right? I was asleep and this was a nightmare.
“You’re kidding right? Like this is all some joke. Niall it’s not funny. Stop.” I said.
“Hazel, I’m so sorry.” He alisema his eyes were shining with tears.
“Niall?” I whispered and then I collapsed.
My body folded over and my head fell into Niall’s lap. Niall and I had been the only ones on the bus, but I had a feeling that everyone else knew.
I stayed like that for a while just sobbing into Niall. He rubbed my back and my head. I couldn’t believe my best friend had died. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
A little while later everyone else came on the bus. I was sitting with my head on my knees. I wasn’t crying anymore. It felt like I was living in a dead state. Nothing mattered. Harry came and sat inayofuata to me.
“Hazel?” he alisema questioningly.
I couldn’t speak, but I turned my head to him face him in response.
“I know you’re sad. But we are all here for wewe every step of the way. Not just Niall. wewe can come to any of us, for anything, whenever.” He alisema putting his arm around me.
I buried my head in his neck and cried. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. I was sobbing again. I started to hyperventilate. I couldn’t breathe. How could everything have gone so wrong so fast?
I somehow ended up in kitanda back at the hotel. I don’t know how au when I got there, au how au when I was going to leave. How could I possibly perform, I couldn’t even breathe without thinking of Ally and how she should be here. Alive.
There was a knock at the door. I couldn’t even get up to see who it was. Half of my life was missing. The knock got louder. I was starting to get really annoyed.
“Hazel!” someone shouted from outside the door.
“GO AWAY!” I screamed.
The door opened and Niall walked in.
“Hazel, you’ve been in here for two weeks. When are wewe going to get up?” he alisema sympathetically.
I’d been here for two weeks. I thought I’d been here only one day. I didn’t know where time was going. I honestly didn’t care.
“You can talk to me wewe know.” Niall said. He looked sad.
“Yeah.” I alisema nodding my head.
“Ally,” he alisema pausing slightly to look up and see my reaction at the name, seeing I was okay he continued, “She, she would want wewe to be happy. To get up every siku and live your life. Live for her Hazel. Moping around and stopping your life won’t bring her back. She loved wewe and would want wewe to go on, with au without her. You’ll be okay. She’s somewhere up there watching over you.”
“Niall?” I alisema half whispering.
“Yeah?” he answered.
“Will I ever be okay again?” I alisema beginning to cry.
“Of course wewe will.” He alisema grabbing me and pulling me into a hug.
I buried my face in his arm. I cried softly. I could feel his moyo beating. I could feel the warmth of his skin on mine, his breath on my head as he exhaled. I took in his smell. He was here. I needed him.
“Niall?” I alisema again.
“Yeah?” he answered again.
“Will I ever lose you?” I said.
“Hazel, no, just because Ally is gone doesn’t mean that everyone is going to die au leave you.” He alisema kissing my head.
“Niall, I upendo you.” I said.
“I upendo wewe too.” He answered.
We stayed like that for a while. Him holding me and slowly rocking me back and forth.
“Did I already miss the wake and funeral?” I asked him.
“Yeah, they happened a few days ago. I bought a condolence card and signed your name on it and sent it to Ally’s family, since wewe couldn’t go.” He said.
“I’m such a terrible friend.” I whispered.
“What? No don’t say that.” He said.
“I was too busy crying over me to go nyumbani and attend her funeral. They’ll only bury her once. I can’t make up for that.” I alisema beginning to hyperventilate.
“No Hazel, no stop.” Niall alisema rubbing my back.
“I’ll never be able to face her family.” I said.
“They’ll understand Hazel, wewe were grieving over her. Stop beating yourself up over this. Nothing is wewe fault. wewe are okay.” He said.
I kept crying. Nothing could make me feel better.
“We should probably pack your stuff.” Niall said.
“What? Why?” I asked.
“The tour, it’s over. We have a flight tomorrow.” He said.
“Am I going home?” I asked.
“Yes. You’re going back to Boston.” He said.
“Where are wewe going?” I asked.
“Ireland.” He mumbled.
“I have to go back alone?” I asked, starting to panic.
“Hazel, you’ll be fine. Trust me. I called your parents and they’ll pick wewe up from the airport. Everything will be okay. wewe don’t have to do anything wewe aren’t ready to do.” He said.
“Will wewe come and visit me? I won’t be able to make it without you.” I alisema shaking my head.
“Of course, I’m going nyumbani today, actually in a half an saa I have to leave, I’ll be there for two days. You’re leaving here tomorrow night. kwa the time wewe get nyumbani I’ll be there. The boys, Eleanor, and Danielle are taking wewe to the airport tomorrow. Everything will be okay.” He said.
“Okay.” I alisema calming down.
Niall packed my suitcases and then we alisema our goodbyes.
“I upendo wewe okay. Don’t forget that. I’m okay and so are you. I upendo you.” He said.
“I upendo wewe too.” I alisema kissing him.
He smiled at me and then walked away. I went and found Harry. He walked me into his room and brought my suitcases. I was going to stay with him until we had to leave. We spent all siku and night sitting on the kitanda watching T.V.
“I’m starving. Do wewe want anything?” he asked.
“No.” I said.
“Haze wewe haven’t eaten in weeks, literally, wanna go out for ice cream?” he asked.
I was about to say no when I remembered what Niall alisema about Ally wanting me to live on. I wanted to live for her.
“Yeah.” I alisema mustering up the best smile I could.
“Cool.” Harry said.
We went out for ice cream and I had a really good time. I felt guilty that I was having fun while Ally was dead. I told Harry.
“Hazel, listen, it’s not your fault she died. Not having fun isn’t going to do anything for anyone. wewe are still alive, and wewe need to live.” He said.
I nodded. That made me fell a lot better.
The inayofuata siku Harry took me to the airport. He hugged me goodbye and I didn’t want him to let go.
“I’ll see wewe soon, yeah?” he said.
“Yeah.” I answered.
I boarded the plane and took my seat. When we were up in the sky all I could think of was that Ally was up here too. I stared out the window the whole time until I got home. My parents greeted me at the airport. We drove nyumbani in silence. When I got there I went straight to me room. There were pictures of me and Ally everywhere. I almost took them down, but then I realized I wanted them there seeing her made me feel close to her.
I checked my phone and got a missed text from Niall.
From Niall:
hujambo babe :)Be ready kwa 4 p.m. I upendo wewe babe :)xx wear black btw.
I got dressed and waited outside. A black limo pulled up to my house. Niall stepped out in a black suit. I upendo him.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Just get in.” he said.
I got in the limo and we drove away. I was really confused.
