The Rhodes Not Taken (EP05)
Puck: "That Rachel chick makes me want to light myself on fire- but she can sing."

Mash Up (EP08)
Puck: *in thought* "I know this looks weird, but wait until wewe see what happens next."
Puck: "My ears are starting to hurt. Can we take a break?"
Rachel: "Okay."
Puck: "You wanna make out?"
Rachel: "Sure!"
--
Puck: *in thought* "I know, it's whack. But I also remember what my history teacher told us last semester: Only Nixon can go to China... I have no idea what she meant but it reminded me of when my family ordered chinese chakula and sat down together for our traditional simclastaraus screening of Schindler's List that's really when all of this happened. It wasn't the most normal tradition, but we did it for my mom. She alisema it made her feel connected to her Jewish roots. As she was giving me my sweet'n'sour pork, she alisema something that really hit home."
Puck's Mom: "You know better than them Noah. Why can't wewe tarehe a Jewish girl?"
--
Puck: *in thought* "That night, I had the strangest dream. I knew it was a dream because there's no way Rachel could've climbed up the ukuta outside of my window with no shoes on. When I woke up, I knew it was zaidi than a dream; it was a message from God. Rachel was a hot Jew and the good Lord wanted me to get into her pants."
--
Puck: "I picked it up for wewe when I was buying dip. It's grape. I know that's your favourite because the last time I tossed a zabibu one in your face, wewe licked your lips before wewe cleaned yourself off. Hey, I was wondering if wewe wanted to work on some mash up ideas?"
--
Puck: *in thought* "Things happened pretty fast from that point. Getting her to make out with me was easier than I thought. Guess she's kind of desperate."
Puck: "You okay baby?"
Rachel: "I can't do this."
Puck: "Why? We're a couple of good looking Jews; it's natural."
Rachel: "I-I can't give myself to someone who isn't- brave enough to sing a solo. If wewe don't have th-the guts to do that, then how are wewe going to be bold enough to deal with the ups and downs of loving an admittedly high maintenance girl like me?"
Puck: "Are wewe questioning my badassness? Have wewe seen my guns?"
Rachel: "Noah, I-I'm sorry but... your arms are lovely but... I just don't see us working out."
--
Puck: "I've been working on something."
Will: "Oh yeah?"
Puck: "It's my personal tribute to a musical Jewish icon."
--
Rachel: "Making Tommy Tune the first to win Tony dhahabu in four categories."
Puck: "Totally interesting. Y'know, wewe never told me what wewe thought of my mash up solo."
Rachel: "Your still missing the elusive high B, that's a brass ring for a baratender. I had to work on it for weeks with Finn before he got it. You're a great performer Noah. I just want to say how I proud I am to have wewe in my arm in front the whole high school!"
--
Puck: "You're pretty good at this."
Rachel: "I've had a lot of practice. You're actually a lot luckier than me and Quinn. Your head is shaved."
Puck: "I'm really sorry I ever did this to you."
Rachel: "It's okay."
Puck: "No it isn't. No one deserves this feeling. wewe know what the worst part is? It's not the burning in your eyes au the way the slushie drips all the way into your underpants... it's the humiliation. I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment. Rachel, I'm sorry but, today when the clock chimes three thirty-"
Rachel: "You're choosing football over glee, which means we probably can't be together anymore."
Puck: "Yes... damn I feel like such a bad Jew!"
--
Rachel: "Are wewe sure about this Noah? I mean, choosing us over the team might mean getting a slushie in your face every day."
Puck: "Bring it."
--
Rachel: "You miss it?"
Puck: "Hell no."
Rachel: "I hope wewe didn't choose Glee over football for me."
Puck: "Why?"
Rachel: "Because I don't think this relationship is going to work out."
Puck: "It's cool, I was going to break up with wewe anyways."
Rachel: "No wewe weren't."
Puck: "Yes I was. wewe wont even let me touch your boobs! It's Finn right? He's never going to leave Quinn, not with that baby in her belly!"
Rachel: "You like her don't you? I can see wewe staring at her when I'm staring at Finn. Is that why wewe joined glee, to be closer to her?"
Puck: "Like I said, they're never breaking up! God what's the matter with me. I'm a stud and I can't even hold onto a chick like you? No offense. Why don't girls like me?"
Rachel: "Because you're kind of a jerk. No offense. I just think wewe want it too much. Which is something I can relate to- I want everything too much. Our relationship was built on a fantasy; like every other one in my life. I think I just agreed to us being together because I thought it would make Finn jealous. I just hope we can still be friends."
Puck: "We weren't Marafiki before."

Ballad (EP10)
Rachel: "It looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio onyesha choir committee finally paid off!"
--
Will: "So, how's it going with Puck? wewe guys still seeing each other?"
Rachel: "I broke things off, he was too immature- as are all the boys in high school."

Sectionals (EP13)
Rachel: "Did any of wewe think it was weird the way that Puck rushed to Quinn's aid during rehearsal today?"

Bad Reputation (EP17)
Rachel: "And why am I last? Aside from the fact that I refuse to put out for you."
--
Rachel: "Go Noah!" (during Ice Ice Baby)
--
Rachel: "Do wewe know when we dated the school gave us a nickname? Puckleberry."
Puck: "That's humiliating."
Rachel: "The fact is is that, slumming it with me actually improved your reputation; it gave wewe a sense of humanity."
Puck: "Wait, do wewe want to tarehe again? I was wondering why wewe invited me here."
Rachel: "As wewe know, I'm taken. But I can be of some assistance. Help me with my song for Glee club. I-I might be the last chance wewe have to salvage what's left of your reputation and stay in glee. Besides, wewe need a song that's going to help wewe express your inner pain!"
Puck: "So what song do wewe want to do for your assignment?"
Rachel: "I've chosen David Geddes' fantastically terrible 70s juu hit: Run Joey Run! It's a story song, so we get to play parts! I'm going to play the role of the tragic heroine who dies in the end a la Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge and wewe can be the hunky heroic male lead!"
Puck: "Do I get to kill you?"
Rachel: "Actually, my dad shoots me with a shot gun."
--
Puck: "Do wewe think I made that glist? Honestly."
Rachel: "Well, it does sound like something wewe would do."
Puck: "God, I'm so tired of people judging me for a few mistakes I've made! I try to be a good guy, I go to school and I say Be cool Puck, be nice! But kwa sekunde period I've got a moto extinguisher in my hands and I'm spraying some dweeb with it and I don't know how I got there."
Rachel: "I understand, yeah. I sit in Glee club and I watch a couple of imperfect performances and a litney of criticisms just start building up inside of me like a volkano and I keep telling myself to hold it in and then it just comes bursting out! Granted, generally I'm right but it doesn't do much for my reputation."
Puck: "It does suck when wewe do that."
Rachel: "So, uh, how do wewe think we can get people to see us differently?"
Puck: "I dunno..."
Rachel: "I-I can't do this."
Puck: "You know, whoever made that glist is gonna put wewe at number one when they find out wewe cheated on that Jesse kid with me. Besides, Jesse will never fully understand what it means to be a Jew."
Rachel: "Noah, I-I, I'm ironically turned on kwa your bad boy image, but I think we should just keep this professional."
Puck: "Alright, I'm out. Why should I stay if there's no chance of us making out?"
Rachel: "Noah, please come and sit and lets work on the project. Okay, it'll help us both. I promise."
--
Tina: "I saw Puck putting it up in the hallway."
Puck: "I was moving it. Somebody put it on Rachel's locker so I moved it! I was being a man, doing the right thing!"

Theatricality (EP20)
Puck: "Wait, where's Rachel? I mean I only noticed 'cause like five dakika have gone kwa without her saying something totally obnoxious."
--
Puck: "We're screwed. Rachel's gonna jump ship over to Vocal Adrenaline."
Rachel: "Never."

Funk (EP21)
Rachel: "This cheese smells funky."
Puck: "That's 'cause it's fromunda cheese."
Rachel: "Shut it Puckerman!"
--
Puck: "Uh, this is bull! Finn, Mike, Matt- come with me."
--
Puck: "Oh it is when the swali is what's the best way to mess up that Jesse kids face!"