Sketchy Beginnings
Tawni: Yes, sprinkle us with your Wisconsin funny dust.
Tawni: We Don't want to hear your cheers. Not your sis, not your boom, and not your ba.
Sonny: But what if I have a really awesome baa?
West coast story
Sonny: We were trying to make peace.
Chad: Please, wewe were trying to trap us.
Sonny: Trap you? You've obviously been watching your onyesha too much. wewe know, not everything is cutthroat and gossipy? Sometimes people do things because they're trying to be nice.
Chad: Do they, Sonny? Do they, really? Look, it was sweet of wewe to put that picnic together. It was way sweet. But the bad blood between our two shows has run too deep for too long to be healed kwa a bowl of egg salad, and even the best of intentions. [holds Sonny's hand] Just because wewe wish for something doesn't make it so.
Sonny: Oh, Chad Dylan--
Chad: Shh. The time for talking is over. I must go. So run-- run back to your show, and put your sweet little dreams of peace to bed. [walks away]
Sonny: (staring at Chad) What just happened?
Chad: wewe know. A lot of people say that it's So Random! that we won this award. But it's not So Random! ... it's never So Random! . Because Mackenzie Falls rules! Thank you, Tweens!
Chad: Not bad. Perhaps there's a spot for wewe on MacKenzie Falls... after Portlyn disappears in a mysterious ballooning accident.
Sonny: My problem is everything my friends...and Tawni told me about wewe was true.
Sonny at the falls
Sonny Munroe: This is last wewe will see of Sonny Munroe! I mean other than the fact that we have to rehearse.
Tawni, Nico, Grady, Zora: Yeah.
Nico: We have names!
Chad: Yeah, but remembering them would take effort and interest and...excuse
Zora: Why is Zac Efron up there?
Chad: Because it's my wall,and I like saying I banned Zac Efron.
Sonny: wewe wanna know what I think about that? I'll tell wewe what I think about that...... TAKE WHAT wewe CAN AND RUN!!!
Grady: this is like that episode of Mackenzie Falls where they blinded that girl and brainwashed her... not that i watch it
Nico: not that i watch it either, but that was never an episode.
You've got shabiki mail
Sonny: Why are wewe helping me?
Chad: I'm not helping you. I just wanted to try on the beard.
Sonny: Sounds like somebody cares.
Chad: Somebody... wanted to try on a werid beard.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Beards.
Chad: Cares.
Sonny: Gotcha!
Tanwi: Any shabiki of Sonny's is a shabiki of mine! Right?
Sonny as Eric: Not necessarily.
Chad: (sees Sonny putting "Eric" into a box) I knew I recognized you. You're Weird Beard. Why are wewe Weird Beard?
Sonny: Why do wewe care?
Chad: I don't know. Let's give it a shot.
Sonny: Well, I sent myself a shabiki letter, pretended to be my own fan, and now I get to go out on stage and meet the shabiki I'm pretending to be.
Chad: Why would wewe write yourself a shabiki letter?
Sonny: Because I Lost faith in myself.
Chad: Oh. Classic case of actor insecurity. wewe start doubting your abilities, wondering whether wewe were good enough and whether wewe deserve to be on TV.
Sonny: So you've been through this before?
Chad: No, no. No, but I made wewe think I had which is why I'll never go through it. Whew!
Sonny: Those are all for me!
Tawni: No! They're all for-Sonny?
Sonny: You've been hiding my shabiki mail.
Tawni: You're pretending to be your own fan?
Sonny: wewe committed mail fraud!
Tawni: wewe committed shabiki fraud!
Sonny: shabiki fraud's not illegal!
Tawni: Mail fraud's not embarrassing!
Cheater girls
Tawni: Are wewe insulting me with geometry?
Three's Not Company
Chad: So I, uh, guess I'll be seeing wewe at my party tonight?
Sonny: Yeah. As much as I'd upendo to come bask in the glory of your Chadness, I can't make it.
Chad: So wewe were the no? wewe were the one person I invited who's not coming? Wow. I always knew this would happen to me someday. I just really expected it to come from a Tisdale au a Montana.
Fast Friends
Chad: Oh, we're very good friends.
Sonny: Actually, we can't stand each other.
Chad: And this is the kind of fun we get to have every day.
Sonny: Which apparently is starting today.
Chad: Isn't she adorable? That's why Sonny's my inayopendelewa member of So Random.
Sonny: Really?
Chad: Yes, really. Santiago wewe are lucky to be getting this interview this girl's going places. Speaking of which I got to go.
Santiago Heraldo: You've got some dog's to shove.
Chad: Shoving mbwa towards bowls of chakula that I lovingly lay out for them. wewe know why I upendo puppies.
Sonny: (after Chad hands her a puppy) Oh, he's so cute!
Chad: Yeah, when I saw him I thought of you.
Sonny: That's a compliment, right?
Chad: Of course.
Sonny: Well, then tell Santiago. I want people to know me for who I am.
Chad: And I want people to know me for who I'm not. Look, I like you. And I'm sorry the rest of the world doesn't know the real you.
Sonny: It's your fault.
Chad: Is it, Sonny? Is it, really?
Sonny: Yes. It is. Really!
Sonny With a Chance of Dating
Chad: Sonny.
Sonny: Chad.
Chad: Anyway they're shooting our scene we should probably go.
Sonny: Oh, you're on Mackenzie Falls this week? Let me guess, stuck up Mackenzie being chased kwa bad boy bank robber.
Chad: Let me guess, Life of the Boston chai Party.
Sonny: Well, at least my onyesha brings joy to the viewers.
Chad: At least my onyesha has viewers.
James Conroy: wewe know, for something wewe alisema was nothing, that sure seemed like something.
Sonny: Oh, well, wewe know, it's a day-to-day something. Sometimes hour-by-hour. I don't know, it's complicated. He's complicated.
Tawni: Where's your idiot friend?
Chad: Bart! (Bart comes out)
Tawni: Not that idiot. James. Yeah, the one who's going out with Sonny tonight.
Chad: I'm sorry, what?
Tawni: James, Sonny, date, tonight.
Chad: Date? Sonny? Tonight? James?
Tawni: So where is he?
Chad: Right now he's breaking into the first bank of MacKenzie Falls. (sirens go)
Tawni: What is your onyesha even about?
Chad: Oh, this week's our krisimasi episode. Yeah, in the end he realizes he had a wonderful life.
Tawni: Look, just tell James to back off of Sonny.
Chad: Why do wewe want him to back off Sonny?
Tawni: Why are wewe wearing a bib?
Chad: wewe jealous?
Tawni: I have my own bib!
Chad: Not of the bib, of Sonny! What...?
Tawni: No. I'm trying to protect her. Why do wewe want him to back off Sonny?
Chad: I... never alisema I did.
Tawni: Oh, your lips say I don't care, but your eyes say I do care!
Sonny: Do wewe really think I would kiss you?
Chad: Well, that's what I'm putting on my blog. (Rolls across cantine floor) Peace out suckas! Blahaa!
Sonny: Okay. (puts her head on Chad's shoulder) This is nice... in theory.
Chad: Yeah, we, uh ... make a good couple. Hypothetically.
Sonny and the Studio Brat
Tawni: [holding up magazine inaonyesha MacKenzie Falls cast in cool places] And who do wewe see there? And there, and there, and there! [flipping through magazine]
Grady: Chad Dylan Cooper, and the cast of MacKenzie Falls.
Nico: Yeah, she's right we need to be seen in cool places.
Tawni: Yes, that's why we're going to a place so cool, so exclusive, so underground, it doesn't even exist.
Grady: We're going to Narnia?
Later - The Basement - Tawni dancing.
Grady: [holding a sword] This isn't Narnia!
Chad: (Chad's voicemail) hujambo you've reached Chad Dylan Cooper. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, because if wewe were important enough, you'd have the number to my phone I answer!
Sonny: Let's go get some ice-cream
Dakota: (looks at Mackenzie falls poster) Mackenzie Falls shoots here. I had no idea. I upendo Chad Dylan Cooper!
Sonny: Yeah, so does Chad Dylan Cooper.
Chad: (scared) Oh Daddy?
Sonny: Daddy, there's your funny little punchline! Boy is he gonna be mad at wewe for yelling at his daughter!
Mr. Condor: Sonny, wewe brought my precious Angel to a Hollywood club?
(Sonny and Chad start backing away)
Chad: Looks like he's mad at you.
Mr. Condor: Oh no, he's mad at wewe too!
Sonny: Actually Mr. Condor, it's a really funny story!
Chad: Trust me it's really not that funny.
Promises, Prom-misses
Sonny: Well, Chad, wewe were right. All proms end in disaster.
Chad: Do they Sonny? Do they really? Because sometimes, I heard, wewe get to have that perfect dance, with that one special person. [takes out headphones] You're just going to have to settle for me.
[Sonny smiles and takes a headphone]
[they start slow dancing]
Sonny: This is sweet.
Chad: I have my moments.
Sonny: wewe gonna press play?
Chad: Oh, right.
Chad: Oh hujambo Sonny.
Sonny: Sorry Chad, can't talk, I'm in a hurry.
Chad: Oh right, right that whole secret prom, (Sonny turns around) They're not that much of a secret when every kid on the lot is walking around with flyers that read 'Secret Prom!'
Sonny: Aren't wewe exited? I'm even exited about how exited I am!
Chad: Yeah, we're not really feeling that over at the Falls...mostly we just think it's dumb?
Sonny: Well, if wewe think it's so dumb, then maybe wewe and your little snobby Marafiki at Mackenzie Falls shouldn't come.
Chad: Well maybe we won't.
Sonny: Good! 'Cause your officially uninvited.
Chad: Good 'Cause we officially wouldn't have come anyway.
Sonny: You're only saying that cause I just uninvited you.
Chad: wewe only uninvited me because I just alisema I didn't wanna come.
Sonny: Are we done here?
Chad: Oh we're beyond done.
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: So we're good?
Chad: Oh we're so good.
Sonny: I can't believe I missed it! (bumps into Chad)
Chad: Whoa, watch it.
Sonny: Chad? Oh my gosh what happened? (refers to Chad's black eye)
Chad: Oh, I just got in a huge fight over at the Falls.
Sonny: (nods) They don't like wewe either?
Chad: Funny. No we were shooting a scene. I know it's hard to believe I can look this good when I look this bad huh? (Sonny looks down) Normally that would've Charmed you. What's up with you?
Sonny: Nothing, I'm just a little bummed. I missed my prom back nyumbani and I just got some pictures from my best friend.
Chad: Oh pshht. You're not missing much! I've been to a bunch of proms and they have all ended in disaster.
Sonny: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Chad: Yeah, episode 10, my hair caught on fire. Last year's season finale, my tarehe turns out to be my long Lost sister...
Sonny: What? Chad those are fake proms.
Chad: Fake proms, real proms they all stink.
Sonny: No they don't! They're romantic! wewe know a girl dreams her whole life about going to the prom and sharing that perfect dance with a very special guy.
Chad: And then he gets hit in the head kwa a faulty disco ball, episode 16!
Sonny: wewe know what Chad? wewe wouldn't know real romance if it punched wewe in the face. In fact wewe wouldn't know a real ngumi, punch in the face if it punched wewe in the face, because there is nothing real about you.
Chad: Well here's something real for you, I really don't wanna stand here and talk to you.
Sonny: Good! Cause I really don't wanna stand here and talk to you!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good! (Sonny and Chad turn and walk different directions) (Chads phone rings) Hello?
Sonny: Good!
(Sonny walks in heshima house)
Sonny: Good!
Chad: (on phone) Good.
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good
Sonny: Good! and goodbye! (hangs up cell phone) Chad says hi!
Sonny: Chad? What are wewe doing here? wewe weren't invited.
Chad: Oh wewe see, I was invited, but I didn't wanna go, so then I got uninvited so now I had to go. (walks into prom)
Sonny: No no no no no no no. (blocks him) You're not going into my prom before I do
Marshall: Sweetheart, look, I have nothing against proms, but if I let wewe have a prom I have to give in to everybody.Nico gets his carnival, Grady gets his puppet show. We'll all be living in Tawnitown. Is that what wewe want? Do wewe want to be living in Tawni town?
Sonny: I... hear it's a heck of a town?
Sonny: Ok, I think we've alisema it enough times. (grins) We're having a secret prom!
Grady: Ah, how come wewe got to say it again?
Sonny: Because I wrote the book.
Tawni: I thought wewe checked out a book?
Grady: Oh, wait, I'm confused.
Sonny: (sighs) Ok, there's no book, but we're having a prom.
Nico: A secret prom though?
Sonny: Yes. Are we all on the same page?!
Grady: Whoa, wait. There's a page??
Sonny: (throws hands up in frustration) Really?!
The Heartbreak Kids
Chad: Then wewe and me are going to have to go to Lookout Mountain.
Sonny: I'm not going to lookout mountain with you. That's a tarehe place.
Chad: Do wewe want them broken up?
Sonny: Yes.
Chad: Pick wewe up at eight. (winks at sonny)
Sonny: (smiles)
Sonny: How it this suppose to break up Bitterman and Marshal?
Chad: It's all in the script.
Sonny: What script?!
Chad: (takes out Makenzie falls script) Episode 319 of Mackenzie Falls! Bigfoot gets the girl, it's a classic!
Sonny: (takes script away from Chad) Oh my gosh..This is your plan? This isn't real; this is a show!
Chad: Sonny, sometimes life imitates art! Okay? And this piece of art happens to be about a couple who takes a drive up Lookout Mountain for a romantic evening...
Nico: Yeah, and then Bigfoot comes out the woods and scares them!
Chad: Yeah, and the guy gets so freaked out, he runs away.
Sonny: And that gets the girl to break up with him...
Chad: Exactly!
Sonny: Oh my gosh...THAT IS THE WORST PLAN I'VE EVER HEARD FROM THE WORST onyesha I'VE NEVER SEEN! (Chad looks insulted)
Chad: Well, here come the lovebirds, so unless wewe like the chewy tastes of worms...
Sonny: Nico, put your head back on!
Sonny: With this.(holds up a salt shaker)
Grady: A magic salt shaker?
Sonny: If anyone gets caught eat the instructions!Got any questions?(Grady raises his hand)Yes Grady?
Grady: What happens if I've already eaten lunch,I'm kinda full,do I still have to eat the instructions?
Sonny: Yes.
Grady: Well can wewe put the instructions on cake?
Sonny: No!
Grady: Cookies?
Sonny: No! NOW GO! GO! GO!
(Nico and Grady march out the room)
Sonny:(to Tawni) wewe wanna go get some cake?
Tawni: Ooh...and cookies.
Sonny: I can't just come between love.
Tawni: I don't want wewe to come between it,I want wewe to crush it!
Battle of the Network Stars
Selena: [Through megaphone] wewe TWO ARE...PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! I'M OUT OF HERE!
Chad: Wait, wait! So you're leaving my movie?
Selena: Heh, I don't need this! I was in Camp Hiphop! [walks away]
Sonny: Okay, bye Selena! It was nice working with you! Awww, she seems nice. I should call her.
Chad: Why? You're gonna become BFFs with Selena Gomez?
Sonny: Pfft... It could happen! So... do wewe really think I have pretty hair?
Chad: I dunno... Do wewe really think I have sparkly eyes?
Sonny: I dunno... Well one of them is.
Chad: So...you wanna be in my movie? I kind of need a Sonny.
Sonny: Fine.
Chad: Fine.
Sonny: Good.
Chad: Good.
Sonny: Fine.
Chad: Fine. I’ll set wewe up an audition. Nine o’clock?
Sonny: Really, Chad? Really?
Chad: (into the megaphone, quickly) Fine. wewe got the part.
Sonny:Sorry it's just...this is the type of thing Chad does just to push my buttons.
Selena: (into tape recorder) Has buttons.
Chad: Oh Sonny, try to stop yourself from falling in upendo with me, I beg you!
Sonny: (rolls her eyes)
Selena: I'm just a small town girl with a big town dream, and meeting wewe was the biggest dream of all.
Sonny: Ok CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!
Chad: Again! Really?
Selena: It's okay Chad. She's helping me out.
Sonny: Okay now Selena, remember your biggest dream is to be on So Random! Chad is just a monster who wakes wewe up! (glares at Chad)and remember that wewe hate him! wewe just really, really hate him! (Chad glares at sonny) Action. (walks off set)
Chad: Sonny-
Sonny: Oh and one zaidi thing! He is the worst actor of our generation!
Chad: BART!(Bart comes out and gives Chad a megaphone) CUT! CUT! Stop the lying!
Sonny: wewe stop the lying!
Chad: wewe stop the lying!
Selena: STOP! STOP BEING- STOP, JUST STOP IT!
(Nico and Grady walk into the prophouse and find their lookalikes are gone.)
Nico: Hey, where'd we go? (Tawni walks in)
Tawni: I forgot something.
Grady: Wha--- (Tawni slaps him and walks out)
Nico: Oh, you're gonna need some ice for that.
Grady: What did I do?
Chad: [In Megaphone] Yes Take That Selena!
Sonny: [In Megaphone] In Your Face Gomez!
Tales From The heshima House
Sonny: (on phone) Chad can we talk this out like normal people? He alisema he's on his way back.
Chad: (bursts in on forklift)
Cast: (screams)&(Hides)
Chad: So what do wewe wanna discuss?
Sonny: Oh. It's a signed picture...of you.
Chad: look how its signed.
Sonny: 'To my biggest fan: I sorry T.V.'s Chad Dylan Cooper' Aww. I'm touched! That's so sweet Chad!
Sonny's In The jikoni With Dinner
Chad: (pointing to a magazine with Sonny and Hayden kissing on the cover) Who is this guy?!
Tawni: The upendo of my life!
Chad: (voice high)THEN WHY IS SHE KISSING HIM?!
Tawni: I DON'T KNOW!
Sonny: I told wewe it was the kiss cam!
Nico: Sonny...
Sonny: IT WAS THE KISS CAM!
(Chad bursts into Sonny's apartment)
Chad: Freeze!
Tawni: Don't touch my purse!
Hayden: Chad Dylan Cooper! This is awesome. What are doing here?
Chad: I got a weird call from Sonny's cell. I heard screaming and crushing metal, so I cut my massage to an saa and rushed right over!
Chad: wewe mean (takes out tickets) these?
Sonny: Thanks Chad! (reaches for tickets)
Chad: Ah. (moves tickets out of Sonny's reach)Not so fast. I have these tickets because?
Sonny: (smiles) You're the nyota of Mackenzie Falls, the number one tween show.
Chad: Oh! That's worth one! (hands her one) (Sonny nods)
Sonny: and.. wewe have the best tasting sandwich, sandwichi in the whole cafeteria!
Chad: (fake gasps) Here's number two. (gives her the sekunde ticket) wewe wanna go for three?
Sonny: Can't.
Chad: Oooh, say it!
Sonny: I won't. (Chad waves ticket is Sonny's face)
Chad: Say it.
Sonny: (muffled) You're..the greatest actor of our gener-ation....
Chad: (hands her the third ticket) Enjoy the game. (Sonny smiles at him)
Sonny In The Middle
Sonny: Oh, hujambo Chad.
Chad: When's the party starting?
Sonny: This is it.
Chad:(confused) These look like the people who usally WORK at Mackenzie Falls parties.
Sonny: (Bumps in the ukuta and the chair lights up) Yeah, it lights up! It's a cool seat.(rolls away on chair)
Guess Who's Coming To Guest Star
Chad: And finally after we kiss, you'll be hooked.
Sonny: After we what?!
Chad: Kiss, four little letters just like my name.
Sonny: And you're nuts! Four little letters, just like your name!
Chad: Now I know what you're doing; wewe don't wanna look me in the eyes.
Sonny: Pffft! What are wewe talking about?
Chad: Fine. Then take off the hat.
Sonny: Fine. (takes off hat to reveal a smaller hat)
Chad: You're wearing a hat under a hat? Phew! wewe had the dream, didn't you?
(Sonny's eyes widens) Yeah, it's OK. Tisdale wore 6 hats, but that didn't stop destiny.
Sonny: There is no destiny! There is no wewe and me! There is no- Wow. I never realized what a deep shade of blue your eyes are.
(both lean into kiss)
Sonny: (snapping out of it) Oh my gosh, what am I doing?!
Chad: Ah, getting Lost in me eyes. Check! Now then all that's left is the kiss.
Sonny: (takes off hat) wewe know what?! I will not kiss you! Not in a million years! wewe and I don't kiss not now, not ever!
Marshal: (comes out of nowhere) wewe two are gonna kiss!
Sonny: Let's just get this sketch over with.
Chad: Alright, but after it happens, wewe know we're gonna be in love.
Sonny: We?
Chad: (stammering) Yo-you I alisema you.
Sonny: wewe alisema we.
Chad: OK fine, but we is my nickname for you! We happy?
Cookie Monster
Sonny: (holding back Zora) Chad, I can't believe wewe didn't even thank me for saving your life.
Chad: (holding back Dakota) Look, I will have wewe know, I was choking on purpose, okay? To get your silly little merit badge, it's called acting.
Sonny: Yeah and you're not that good of an actor.
Chad: Acting.
Sonny: Choking.
(Chad and Sonny put Dakota and Zora down)
Chad: Acting.
Sonny: Choking!
Chad: Oh really?! Someone better hold me back.
(Dakota holds Chad back while Zora holds Sonny back)
Sonny: Dakota Condor; She thinks that just cause her dad owns the studio that she can have anything she wants!
Dakota: hujambo Monroe, gimme your muffin!
Sonny: Anything wewe want!
Dakota: Hi Chad! How about joining me for lunch?
Chad: Oh hi Dakota. Yeah I'd upendo to. Actually I'm due on set for rehearsal.
Dakota: Not if my daddy cancels your show.
Chad: (high voice) Oh what are we having?
Zora: Hi Chad. How would the greatest actor of this generation like to buy a box of cookies?
Chad: (takes out money) wewe had me at greatest actor of this generation.
Sonny: I once had a friend who was a little bloomer. She was only one merit badge shy of becoming a full grown blossom scout. [Starts having flash back]
Mrs. Mongergoure: Sonny Monroe, wewe will NEVER be a Blossom Scout!!! [Rips of Sonny's stouch. Sonny starts crying. Flashback ends and Sonny if still crying.]
Sonny: My friend never got to realize her dream.
Tawni: Im not really paying attention. And I can already tell this freind of your's is you.
Zora: Well would wewe au your friend like to buy a box of cookies?
Sonny: wewe know what put me down for a box
Zora: ONE STINKING BOX I'M TRYING TO BREAK THE COOKIE SELLING RECORD!
Zora: It's the only record I don't currently hold!
Tawni: (with make up all over her face) Why so SERIOUS?
Sonny: wewe know what the joker's right.
Sonny so far
(Chad, Sonny and Tawni all look towards screen) (shows a clip of Chad and Sonny)
Tawni: Whoa.
Sonny: Where did wewe get that?
Gilroy: Didn't know wewe were being filmed, huh? Apparently someone in Makenzie Falls doesn't like Sonny very much. So as we say on the show.....GOTCHA!
Sonny: What? wewe 'gotched' nothing, alright? That was totally taken out of context.
Gilroy: That's what I do! If I were to wait for things to be in context I would not have a show. Still, seems the two of wewe of a little something, something going on... care to comment?
Sonny: I can't believe Gilroy tried to do that to us!
Chad: Yeah, the guy's a jerk. I can't believe I read that book for nothing.
Sonny: wewe know, Tawni and I made a pact earlier that we wouldn't tell anyone secrets, and I think that we should probably do the same thing.
Chad: Okay fine, I didn't read the book! (Sonny looks at him) Wha-oh no, wewe were talking about the us, (Sonny nods) yeah, we don't have secrets!....Do we?
Sonny: Uh-I don't know, do we?
(Sonny and Chad on the monitor)
Sonny: I mean, what if it's something like us, liking each other...
Chad: Yeah, I mean don't really wanna talk about my feelings in front of a live studio audience.
Sonny: Yeah, yeah yeah right, I mean especially feelings we've never talked about before.
Chad: Yeah..you have feelings?
Sonny: yeah,Do wewe have feelings?
Chad: I-I mean since you're really asking...it's just two of us....
Sonny: Right! I mean this time there's no cameras au anything.
Chad: Yeah, I really...I just....
Sonny: No, listen. It's what I'm here for. (Chad smiles at her) wewe go first!
Chad: No wewe go first.
Sonny: No wewe g- ok same time.
Chad: Yeah.
Sonny: One... two...
Chad: I was gonna say that yeah, um, 2 and a half?
(Tanwi grabs the remote and turns off camera)
Walk A Mile In My Pants
Sonny: hujambo Chad. Did wewe hear about my Walk-a-Thon for books?
Chad: Oh yes, we did. And I have to say Sonny, wewe are very inspiring,thats why I upendo wewe sonny.
Sonny: Well, we have so much. It's important that we give back.
Chad: (laughs) Aah, I meant wewe inspired me to have a Walk-a-Thon against your Walk-a-Thon.
Sonny: (Pauses to look at the flyer Chad handed to her) A Walk-a-thon against books? How could wewe be against vitabu Chad ?
Chad: That's easy. The zaidi wewe read, the less wewe watch MacKenzie Falls.
Sonny: That's your cause Chad, To get people to watch zaidi TV? your are such a jerk.
Chad: Are wewe not listening? It's to get them to read less. I'll see wewe at the Walk-a-Thon to read less books. (turns and turns back around) I've got something to tell wewe Sonny. We're gonna raise zaidi money than you.
Sonny: For what?
Chad: Not buy books.
Sonny: That makes no sense.
Chad: Aah. Guess all that kusoma you're doing isn't making wewe any smarter now, is it? See ya.
Chad: We're gonna look hotter than wewe at the Walk-a-Thon.
Sonny: (laughs) Giving back is whats hot!
Chad: That's what people who don't look hot say.
Chad: Sonny! Sonny, come here! I need to tell wewe something, in case I don't make it.
Sonny: Okay.
Chad: I love...
Sonny: Yes?
Chad: I mean I deeply love..
Sonny: Go on!
Chad: ...that zaidi kids are kusoma less vitabu because of Chad Dylan Cooper!
Sonny: (lets go of Chad's hand and touches his forehead) Oh no! I think you're coming down with P.F.S. too!
Chad: What's that!?
Sonny: (picks up pillow) mto in the Face Syndrome! (hits Chad with pillow)
Doctor: Ms. Monroe!
Sonny: Yeah, just fluffing Doc! (throws mto at Chad and walks over to the doctor)
Chad: Give it to me straight, doctor! I can take it.
Doctor: wewe have L.B.S.
Chad: (gasps) Leaving Boy Syndrome?!
Doctor: No. Lack of Book Syndrome! Also known as Lazy Butt Syndrome! lbs is also the abbreviation of pounds, (starts poking Chad), which is what wewe are going to gain if wewe don't stop watching yourself on T.V.
Chad: Can't wewe just cut my pants off? wewe know how wewe do?
Doctor: Read two books, then call me in the morning, Mr. Cooper. (hands Chad a perscription)
Chad: (Looks at perscription) Actually it's Dylan Cooper.
Doctor: Not anymore, I removed your Dylan while wewe were under.
Chad: NO! What did wewe do to it?!
Doctor: I gave it to someone who wouldn't waste it! (Opens curtains to reveal Grady)
Doctor: Good afternoon, Mr. Grady Dylan Mitchell.
Grady: I got my Dylan. I've been waiting for 2 years!
Chad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (cries) WHY?!
(Chad wakes up)
Chad: I must have fallen asleep reading. Stupid books. That was horrible! (closes book)
Sonny: We have to make this work.The only way we can get Tawni to walk with us,is if we wear her jeans,because her mashabiki will see her on TV,us wearing her jeans,sell her zaidi jeans,raise zaidi money for books,and less money for no books, and everyone wins except Chad!
Nico: We're gonna need a butt-horn for the butt-horn,'cause this baby ain't coming out.
Sonny:(to Tawni) About the butt-horn, wewe might want to re-think the placement of your face.
Tawni: I'd rather crawl hot then walk ugly.
Sonny Get Your Goat
Tawni: I don't know why you're packing, you're not going anywhere until wewe apologize!
Sonny: I don't know why you're packing because I'm not apologizing!
Tawni: Of course you're apologizing it's your thing, wewe apologize. It's the mduara, duara of life (Pretends to draw a mduara, duara in the air) cir-cle!
Sonny: And here's what I think about wewe (Makes hand motion) cir-cle (Pretends to grab circle)
Tawni: (Gasp) What are wewe doing to my circle?!
Sonny: I'm ripping it! (Pretends to rip circle)
Tawni: Give me that! (They start fighting for the circle)
Sonny: Got it! (Tawni cries)
Sonny: Let Tawni have her fancy european adventure,let her be mobbed kwa adoring fans,let her be wooed kwa gorgeous boy with accents...
Marshal: Pushed wewe out,didn't she?
Sonny: Yeah.
Gassie Passes
Sonny: (to Gassie) wewe know, I used to have a dog just like wewe in Wisconsin. Yeah, except he was a beagle with three legs and one eye. We called him Lucky! Or... au Limpy. au Blindy. But, wewe know, it didn't matter what we called him because he was deaf too!
Sonny: I didn't come here to argue I came here to give Gassie some dog time. Beneath the trees and on grass...
Chad: Except the nyasi is plastic and the trees are cardboard(through the bull-horn)THIS IS A SET.
Sonny: Good then what Gassie is doing to that kichaka over there wont kill it.
(looking at the Gassie & We movie poster)
Tawni: Why is Gassie's head bigger then mine?
Sonny: Well, I'm not sure that it is.
(lunch-box lets out a farting sound)
Sonny: Gross! wewe want people to buy that and then put chakula in it?
Zora: Gross sells sister.
Dakota: wewe have have very nice blue eyes.
Grady: Why thank you.
Dakota: It'd be a shame if wewe Lost one of them!
Grady: Yeah it would.
Dakota: Now hand me to the Matador!(Grady hands her to Nico)
Nico: Hola?
Chad: wewe just found out your boyfriend's a vampire,you're scared,you're confused,you have two holes in your neck what do wewe do? AND ACTION!
Sonny with a Song
Chad: "Bangs and Fangs" we all get awesome hair and get bitten kwa vampires.
Nico: Is your onyesha written kwa monkeys?
Chad: Chad Dylan Cooper fears nothing.
Sonny: Spiders.
Chad: Not the little ones.
Sonny: Heights.
Chad: Not the little ones.
To be continued....
P.S.
Sorry if there are any mistakes.The things I wrote were the nukuu I remembered. Feel free to correct the mistakes in the maoni section and feel free to add some of your fav. SWAC quotes.
Tawni: Yes, sprinkle us with your Wisconsin funny dust.
Tawni: We Don't want to hear your cheers. Not your sis, not your boom, and not your ba.
Sonny: But what if I have a really awesome baa?
West coast story
Sonny: We were trying to make peace.
Chad: Please, wewe were trying to trap us.
Sonny: Trap you? You've obviously been watching your onyesha too much. wewe know, not everything is cutthroat and gossipy? Sometimes people do things because they're trying to be nice.
Chad: Do they, Sonny? Do they, really? Look, it was sweet of wewe to put that picnic together. It was way sweet. But the bad blood between our two shows has run too deep for too long to be healed kwa a bowl of egg salad, and even the best of intentions. [holds Sonny's hand] Just because wewe wish for something doesn't make it so.
Sonny: Oh, Chad Dylan--
Chad: Shh. The time for talking is over. I must go. So run-- run back to your show, and put your sweet little dreams of peace to bed. [walks away]
Sonny: (staring at Chad) What just happened?
Chad: wewe know. A lot of people say that it's So Random! that we won this award. But it's not So Random! ... it's never So Random! . Because Mackenzie Falls rules! Thank you, Tweens!
Chad: Not bad. Perhaps there's a spot for wewe on MacKenzie Falls... after Portlyn disappears in a mysterious ballooning accident.
Sonny: My problem is everything my friends...and Tawni told me about wewe was true.
Sonny at the falls
Sonny Munroe: This is last wewe will see of Sonny Munroe! I mean other than the fact that we have to rehearse.
Tawni, Nico, Grady, Zora: Yeah.
Nico: We have names!
Chad: Yeah, but remembering them would take effort and interest and...excuse
Zora: Why is Zac Efron up there?
Chad: Because it's my wall,and I like saying I banned Zac Efron.
Sonny: wewe wanna know what I think about that? I'll tell wewe what I think about that...... TAKE WHAT wewe CAN AND RUN!!!
Grady: this is like that episode of Mackenzie Falls where they blinded that girl and brainwashed her... not that i watch it
Nico: not that i watch it either, but that was never an episode.
You've got shabiki mail
Sonny: Why are wewe helping me?
Chad: I'm not helping you. I just wanted to try on the beard.
Sonny: Sounds like somebody cares.
Chad: Somebody... wanted to try on a werid beard.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Cares.
Chad: Beards.
Sonny: Beards.
Chad: Cares.
Sonny: Gotcha!
Tanwi: Any shabiki of Sonny's is a shabiki of mine! Right?
Sonny as Eric: Not necessarily.
Chad: (sees Sonny putting "Eric" into a box) I knew I recognized you. You're Weird Beard. Why are wewe Weird Beard?
Sonny: Why do wewe care?
Chad: I don't know. Let's give it a shot.
Sonny: Well, I sent myself a shabiki letter, pretended to be my own fan, and now I get to go out on stage and meet the shabiki I'm pretending to be.
Chad: Why would wewe write yourself a shabiki letter?
Sonny: Because I Lost faith in myself.
Chad: Oh. Classic case of actor insecurity. wewe start doubting your abilities, wondering whether wewe were good enough and whether wewe deserve to be on TV.
Sonny: So you've been through this before?
Chad: No, no. No, but I made wewe think I had which is why I'll never go through it. Whew!
Sonny: Those are all for me!
Tawni: No! They're all for-Sonny?
Sonny: You've been hiding my shabiki mail.
Tawni: You're pretending to be your own fan?
Sonny: wewe committed mail fraud!
Tawni: wewe committed shabiki fraud!
Sonny: shabiki fraud's not illegal!
Tawni: Mail fraud's not embarrassing!
Cheater girls
Tawni: Are wewe insulting me with geometry?
Three's Not Company
Chad: So I, uh, guess I'll be seeing wewe at my party tonight?
Sonny: Yeah. As much as I'd upendo to come bask in the glory of your Chadness, I can't make it.
Chad: So wewe were the no? wewe were the one person I invited who's not coming? Wow. I always knew this would happen to me someday. I just really expected it to come from a Tisdale au a Montana.
Fast Friends
Chad: Oh, we're very good friends.
Sonny: Actually, we can't stand each other.
Chad: And this is the kind of fun we get to have every day.
Sonny: Which apparently is starting today.
Chad: Isn't she adorable? That's why Sonny's my inayopendelewa member of So Random.
Sonny: Really?
Chad: Yes, really. Santiago wewe are lucky to be getting this interview this girl's going places. Speaking of which I got to go.
Santiago Heraldo: You've got some dog's to shove.
Chad: Shoving mbwa towards bowls of chakula that I lovingly lay out for them. wewe know why I upendo puppies.
Sonny: (after Chad hands her a puppy) Oh, he's so cute!
Chad: Yeah, when I saw him I thought of you.
Sonny: That's a compliment, right?
Chad: Of course.
Sonny: Well, then tell Santiago. I want people to know me for who I am.
Chad: And I want people to know me for who I'm not. Look, I like you. And I'm sorry the rest of the world doesn't know the real you.
Sonny: It's your fault.
Chad: Is it, Sonny? Is it, really?
Sonny: Yes. It is. Really!
Sonny With a Chance of Dating
Chad: Sonny.
Sonny: Chad.
Chad: Anyway they're shooting our scene we should probably go.
Sonny: Oh, you're on Mackenzie Falls this week? Let me guess, stuck up Mackenzie being chased kwa bad boy bank robber.
Chad: Let me guess, Life of the Boston chai Party.
Sonny: Well, at least my onyesha brings joy to the viewers.
Chad: At least my onyesha has viewers.
James Conroy: wewe know, for something wewe alisema was nothing, that sure seemed like something.
Sonny: Oh, well, wewe know, it's a day-to-day something. Sometimes hour-by-hour. I don't know, it's complicated. He's complicated.
Tawni: Where's your idiot friend?
Chad: Bart! (Bart comes out)
Tawni: Not that idiot. James. Yeah, the one who's going out with Sonny tonight.
Chad: I'm sorry, what?
Tawni: James, Sonny, date, tonight.
Chad: Date? Sonny? Tonight? James?
Tawni: So where is he?
Chad: Right now he's breaking into the first bank of MacKenzie Falls. (sirens go)
Tawni: What is your onyesha even about?
Chad: Oh, this week's our krisimasi episode. Yeah, in the end he realizes he had a wonderful life.
Tawni: Look, just tell James to back off of Sonny.
Chad: Why do wewe want him to back off Sonny?
Tawni: Why are wewe wearing a bib?
Chad: wewe jealous?
Tawni: I have my own bib!
Chad: Not of the bib, of Sonny! What...?
Tawni: No. I'm trying to protect her. Why do wewe want him to back off Sonny?
Chad: I... never alisema I did.
Tawni: Oh, your lips say I don't care, but your eyes say I do care!
Sonny: Do wewe really think I would kiss you?
Chad: Well, that's what I'm putting on my blog. (Rolls across cantine floor) Peace out suckas! Blahaa!
Sonny: Okay. (puts her head on Chad's shoulder) This is nice... in theory.
Chad: Yeah, we, uh ... make a good couple. Hypothetically.
Sonny and the Studio Brat
Tawni: [holding up magazine inaonyesha MacKenzie Falls cast in cool places] And who do wewe see there? And there, and there, and there! [flipping through magazine]
Grady: Chad Dylan Cooper, and the cast of MacKenzie Falls.
Nico: Yeah, she's right we need to be seen in cool places.
Tawni: Yes, that's why we're going to a place so cool, so exclusive, so underground, it doesn't even exist.
Grady: We're going to Narnia?
Later - The Basement - Tawni dancing.
Grady: [holding a sword] This isn't Narnia!
Chad: (Chad's voicemail) hujambo you've reached Chad Dylan Cooper. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, because if wewe were important enough, you'd have the number to my phone I answer!
Sonny: Let's go get some ice-cream
Dakota: (looks at Mackenzie falls poster) Mackenzie Falls shoots here. I had no idea. I upendo Chad Dylan Cooper!
Sonny: Yeah, so does Chad Dylan Cooper.
Chad: (scared) Oh Daddy?
Sonny: Daddy, there's your funny little punchline! Boy is he gonna be mad at wewe for yelling at his daughter!
Mr. Condor: Sonny, wewe brought my precious Angel to a Hollywood club?
(Sonny and Chad start backing away)
Chad: Looks like he's mad at you.
Mr. Condor: Oh no, he's mad at wewe too!
Sonny: Actually Mr. Condor, it's a really funny story!
Chad: Trust me it's really not that funny.
Promises, Prom-misses
Sonny: Well, Chad, wewe were right. All proms end in disaster.
Chad: Do they Sonny? Do they really? Because sometimes, I heard, wewe get to have that perfect dance, with that one special person. [takes out headphones] You're just going to have to settle for me.
[Sonny smiles and takes a headphone]
[they start slow dancing]
Sonny: This is sweet.
Chad: I have my moments.
Sonny: wewe gonna press play?
Chad: Oh, right.
Chad: Oh hujambo Sonny.
Sonny: Sorry Chad, can't talk, I'm in a hurry.
Chad: Oh right, right that whole secret prom, (Sonny turns around) They're not that much of a secret when every kid on the lot is walking around with flyers that read 'Secret Prom!'
Sonny: Aren't wewe exited? I'm even exited about how exited I am!
Chad: Yeah, we're not really feeling that over at the Falls...mostly we just think it's dumb?
Sonny: Well, if wewe think it's so dumb, then maybe wewe and your little snobby Marafiki at Mackenzie Falls shouldn't come.
Chad: Well maybe we won't.
Sonny: Good! 'Cause your officially uninvited.
Chad: Good 'Cause we officially wouldn't have come anyway.
Sonny: You're only saying that cause I just uninvited you.
Chad: wewe only uninvited me because I just alisema I didn't wanna come.
Sonny: Are we done here?
Chad: Oh we're beyond done.
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: So we're good?
Chad: Oh we're so good.
Sonny: I can't believe I missed it! (bumps into Chad)
Chad: Whoa, watch it.
Sonny: Chad? Oh my gosh what happened? (refers to Chad's black eye)
Chad: Oh, I just got in a huge fight over at the Falls.
Sonny: (nods) They don't like wewe either?
Chad: Funny. No we were shooting a scene. I know it's hard to believe I can look this good when I look this bad huh? (Sonny looks down) Normally that would've Charmed you. What's up with you?
Sonny: Nothing, I'm just a little bummed. I missed my prom back nyumbani and I just got some pictures from my best friend.
Chad: Oh pshht. You're not missing much! I've been to a bunch of proms and they have all ended in disaster.
Sonny: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Chad: Yeah, episode 10, my hair caught on fire. Last year's season finale, my tarehe turns out to be my long Lost sister...
Sonny: What? Chad those are fake proms.
Chad: Fake proms, real proms they all stink.
Sonny: No they don't! They're romantic! wewe know a girl dreams her whole life about going to the prom and sharing that perfect dance with a very special guy.
Chad: And then he gets hit in the head kwa a faulty disco ball, episode 16!
Sonny: wewe know what Chad? wewe wouldn't know real romance if it punched wewe in the face. In fact wewe wouldn't know a real ngumi, punch in the face if it punched wewe in the face, because there is nothing real about you.
Chad: Well here's something real for you, I really don't wanna stand here and talk to you.
Sonny: Good! Cause I really don't wanna stand here and talk to you!
Chad: Good!
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good! (Sonny and Chad turn and walk different directions) (Chads phone rings) Hello?
Sonny: Good!
(Sonny walks in heshima house)
Sonny: Good!
Chad: (on phone) Good.
Sonny: Good!
Chad: Good
Sonny: Good! and goodbye! (hangs up cell phone) Chad says hi!
Sonny: Chad? What are wewe doing here? wewe weren't invited.
Chad: Oh wewe see, I was invited, but I didn't wanna go, so then I got uninvited so now I had to go. (walks into prom)
Sonny: No no no no no no no. (blocks him) You're not going into my prom before I do
Marshall: Sweetheart, look, I have nothing against proms, but if I let wewe have a prom I have to give in to everybody.Nico gets his carnival, Grady gets his puppet show. We'll all be living in Tawnitown. Is that what wewe want? Do wewe want to be living in Tawni town?
Sonny: I... hear it's a heck of a town?
Sonny: Ok, I think we've alisema it enough times. (grins) We're having a secret prom!
Grady: Ah, how come wewe got to say it again?
Sonny: Because I wrote the book.
Tawni: I thought wewe checked out a book?
Grady: Oh, wait, I'm confused.
Sonny: (sighs) Ok, there's no book, but we're having a prom.
Nico: A secret prom though?
Sonny: Yes. Are we all on the same page?!
Grady: Whoa, wait. There's a page??
Sonny: (throws hands up in frustration) Really?!
The Heartbreak Kids
Chad: Then wewe and me are going to have to go to Lookout Mountain.
Sonny: I'm not going to lookout mountain with you. That's a tarehe place.
Chad: Do wewe want them broken up?
Sonny: Yes.
Chad: Pick wewe up at eight. (winks at sonny)
Sonny: (smiles)
Sonny: How it this suppose to break up Bitterman and Marshal?
Chad: It's all in the script.
Sonny: What script?!
Chad: (takes out Makenzie falls script) Episode 319 of Mackenzie Falls! Bigfoot gets the girl, it's a classic!
Sonny: (takes script away from Chad) Oh my gosh..This is your plan? This isn't real; this is a show!
Chad: Sonny, sometimes life imitates art! Okay? And this piece of art happens to be about a couple who takes a drive up Lookout Mountain for a romantic evening...
Nico: Yeah, and then Bigfoot comes out the woods and scares them!
Chad: Yeah, and the guy gets so freaked out, he runs away.
Sonny: And that gets the girl to break up with him...
Chad: Exactly!
Sonny: Oh my gosh...THAT IS THE WORST PLAN I'VE EVER HEARD FROM THE WORST onyesha I'VE NEVER SEEN! (Chad looks insulted)
Chad: Well, here come the lovebirds, so unless wewe like the chewy tastes of worms...
Sonny: Nico, put your head back on!
Sonny: With this.(holds up a salt shaker)
Grady: A magic salt shaker?
Sonny: If anyone gets caught eat the instructions!Got any questions?(Grady raises his hand)Yes Grady?
Grady: What happens if I've already eaten lunch,I'm kinda full,do I still have to eat the instructions?
Sonny: Yes.
Grady: Well can wewe put the instructions on cake?
Sonny: No!
Grady: Cookies?
Sonny: No! NOW GO! GO! GO!
(Nico and Grady march out the room)
Sonny:(to Tawni) wewe wanna go get some cake?
Tawni: Ooh...and cookies.
Sonny: I can't just come between love.
Tawni: I don't want wewe to come between it,I want wewe to crush it!
Battle of the Network Stars
Selena: [Through megaphone] wewe TWO ARE...PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! I'M OUT OF HERE!
Chad: Wait, wait! So you're leaving my movie?
Selena: Heh, I don't need this! I was in Camp Hiphop! [walks away]
Sonny: Okay, bye Selena! It was nice working with you! Awww, she seems nice. I should call her.
Chad: Why? You're gonna become BFFs with Selena Gomez?
Sonny: Pfft... It could happen! So... do wewe really think I have pretty hair?
Chad: I dunno... Do wewe really think I have sparkly eyes?
Sonny: I dunno... Well one of them is.
Chad: So...you wanna be in my movie? I kind of need a Sonny.
Sonny: Fine.
Chad: Fine.
Sonny: Good.
Chad: Good.
Sonny: Fine.
Chad: Fine. I’ll set wewe up an audition. Nine o’clock?
Sonny: Really, Chad? Really?
Chad: (into the megaphone, quickly) Fine. wewe got the part.
Sonny:Sorry it's just...this is the type of thing Chad does just to push my buttons.
Selena: (into tape recorder) Has buttons.
Chad: Oh Sonny, try to stop yourself from falling in upendo with me, I beg you!
Sonny: (rolls her eyes)
Selena: I'm just a small town girl with a big town dream, and meeting wewe was the biggest dream of all.
Sonny: Ok CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!
Chad: Again! Really?
Selena: It's okay Chad. She's helping me out.
Sonny: Okay now Selena, remember your biggest dream is to be on So Random! Chad is just a monster who wakes wewe up! (glares at Chad)and remember that wewe hate him! wewe just really, really hate him! (Chad glares at sonny) Action. (walks off set)
Chad: Sonny-
Sonny: Oh and one zaidi thing! He is the worst actor of our generation!
Chad: BART!(Bart comes out and gives Chad a megaphone) CUT! CUT! Stop the lying!
Sonny: wewe stop the lying!
Chad: wewe stop the lying!
Selena: STOP! STOP BEING- STOP, JUST STOP IT!
(Nico and Grady walk into the prophouse and find their lookalikes are gone.)
Nico: Hey, where'd we go? (Tawni walks in)
Tawni: I forgot something.
Grady: Wha--- (Tawni slaps him and walks out)
Nico: Oh, you're gonna need some ice for that.
Grady: What did I do?
Chad: [In Megaphone] Yes Take That Selena!
Sonny: [In Megaphone] In Your Face Gomez!
Tales From The heshima House
Sonny: (on phone) Chad can we talk this out like normal people? He alisema he's on his way back.
Chad: (bursts in on forklift)
Cast: (screams)&(Hides)
Chad: So what do wewe wanna discuss?
Sonny: Oh. It's a signed picture...of you.
Chad: look how its signed.
Sonny: 'To my biggest fan: I sorry T.V.'s Chad Dylan Cooper' Aww. I'm touched! That's so sweet Chad!
Sonny's In The jikoni With Dinner
Chad: (pointing to a magazine with Sonny and Hayden kissing on the cover) Who is this guy?!
Tawni: The upendo of my life!
Chad: (voice high)THEN WHY IS SHE KISSING HIM?!
Tawni: I DON'T KNOW!
Sonny: I told wewe it was the kiss cam!
Nico: Sonny...
Sonny: IT WAS THE KISS CAM!
(Chad bursts into Sonny's apartment)
Chad: Freeze!
Tawni: Don't touch my purse!
Hayden: Chad Dylan Cooper! This is awesome. What are doing here?
Chad: I got a weird call from Sonny's cell. I heard screaming and crushing metal, so I cut my massage to an saa and rushed right over!
Chad: wewe mean (takes out tickets) these?
Sonny: Thanks Chad! (reaches for tickets)
Chad: Ah. (moves tickets out of Sonny's reach)Not so fast. I have these tickets because?
Sonny: (smiles) You're the nyota of Mackenzie Falls, the number one tween show.
Chad: Oh! That's worth one! (hands her one) (Sonny nods)
Sonny: and.. wewe have the best tasting sandwich, sandwichi in the whole cafeteria!
Chad: (fake gasps) Here's number two. (gives her the sekunde ticket) wewe wanna go for three?
Sonny: Can't.
Chad: Oooh, say it!
Sonny: I won't. (Chad waves ticket is Sonny's face)
Chad: Say it.
Sonny: (muffled) You're..the greatest actor of our gener-ation....
Chad: (hands her the third ticket) Enjoy the game. (Sonny smiles at him)
Sonny In The Middle
Sonny: Oh, hujambo Chad.
Chad: When's the party starting?
Sonny: This is it.
Chad:(confused) These look like the people who usally WORK at Mackenzie Falls parties.
Sonny: (Bumps in the ukuta and the chair lights up) Yeah, it lights up! It's a cool seat.(rolls away on chair)
Guess Who's Coming To Guest Star
Chad: And finally after we kiss, you'll be hooked.
Sonny: After we what?!
Chad: Kiss, four little letters just like my name.
Sonny: And you're nuts! Four little letters, just like your name!
Chad: Now I know what you're doing; wewe don't wanna look me in the eyes.
Sonny: Pffft! What are wewe talking about?
Chad: Fine. Then take off the hat.
Sonny: Fine. (takes off hat to reveal a smaller hat)
Chad: You're wearing a hat under a hat? Phew! wewe had the dream, didn't you?
(Sonny's eyes widens) Yeah, it's OK. Tisdale wore 6 hats, but that didn't stop destiny.
Sonny: There is no destiny! There is no wewe and me! There is no- Wow. I never realized what a deep shade of blue your eyes are.
(both lean into kiss)
Sonny: (snapping out of it) Oh my gosh, what am I doing?!
Chad: Ah, getting Lost in me eyes. Check! Now then all that's left is the kiss.
Sonny: (takes off hat) wewe know what?! I will not kiss you! Not in a million years! wewe and I don't kiss not now, not ever!
Marshal: (comes out of nowhere) wewe two are gonna kiss!
Sonny: Let's just get this sketch over with.
Chad: Alright, but after it happens, wewe know we're gonna be in love.
Sonny: We?
Chad: (stammering) Yo-you I alisema you.
Sonny: wewe alisema we.
Chad: OK fine, but we is my nickname for you! We happy?
Cookie Monster
Sonny: (holding back Zora) Chad, I can't believe wewe didn't even thank me for saving your life.
Chad: (holding back Dakota) Look, I will have wewe know, I was choking on purpose, okay? To get your silly little merit badge, it's called acting.
Sonny: Yeah and you're not that good of an actor.
Chad: Acting.
Sonny: Choking.
(Chad and Sonny put Dakota and Zora down)
Chad: Acting.
Sonny: Choking!
Chad: Oh really?! Someone better hold me back.
(Dakota holds Chad back while Zora holds Sonny back)
Sonny: Dakota Condor; She thinks that just cause her dad owns the studio that she can have anything she wants!
Dakota: hujambo Monroe, gimme your muffin!
Sonny: Anything wewe want!
Dakota: Hi Chad! How about joining me for lunch?
Chad: Oh hi Dakota. Yeah I'd upendo to. Actually I'm due on set for rehearsal.
Dakota: Not if my daddy cancels your show.
Chad: (high voice) Oh what are we having?
Zora: Hi Chad. How would the greatest actor of this generation like to buy a box of cookies?
Chad: (takes out money) wewe had me at greatest actor of this generation.
Sonny: I once had a friend who was a little bloomer. She was only one merit badge shy of becoming a full grown blossom scout. [Starts having flash back]
Mrs. Mongergoure: Sonny Monroe, wewe will NEVER be a Blossom Scout!!! [Rips of Sonny's stouch. Sonny starts crying. Flashback ends and Sonny if still crying.]
Sonny: My friend never got to realize her dream.
Tawni: Im not really paying attention. And I can already tell this freind of your's is you.
Zora: Well would wewe au your friend like to buy a box of cookies?
Sonny: wewe know what put me down for a box
Zora: ONE STINKING BOX I'M TRYING TO BREAK THE COOKIE SELLING RECORD!
Zora: It's the only record I don't currently hold!
Tawni: (with make up all over her face) Why so SERIOUS?
Sonny: wewe know what the joker's right.
Sonny so far
(Chad, Sonny and Tawni all look towards screen) (shows a clip of Chad and Sonny)
Tawni: Whoa.
Sonny: Where did wewe get that?
Gilroy: Didn't know wewe were being filmed, huh? Apparently someone in Makenzie Falls doesn't like Sonny very much. So as we say on the show.....GOTCHA!
Sonny: What? wewe 'gotched' nothing, alright? That was totally taken out of context.
Gilroy: That's what I do! If I were to wait for things to be in context I would not have a show. Still, seems the two of wewe of a little something, something going on... care to comment?
Sonny: I can't believe Gilroy tried to do that to us!
Chad: Yeah, the guy's a jerk. I can't believe I read that book for nothing.
Sonny: wewe know, Tawni and I made a pact earlier that we wouldn't tell anyone secrets, and I think that we should probably do the same thing.
Chad: Okay fine, I didn't read the book! (Sonny looks at him) Wha-oh no, wewe were talking about the us, (Sonny nods) yeah, we don't have secrets!....Do we?
Sonny: Uh-I don't know, do we?
(Sonny and Chad on the monitor)
Sonny: I mean, what if it's something like us, liking each other...
Chad: Yeah, I mean don't really wanna talk about my feelings in front of a live studio audience.
Sonny: Yeah, yeah yeah right, I mean especially feelings we've never talked about before.
Chad: Yeah..you have feelings?
Sonny: yeah,Do wewe have feelings?
Chad: I-I mean since you're really asking...it's just two of us....
Sonny: Right! I mean this time there's no cameras au anything.
Chad: Yeah, I really...I just....
Sonny: No, listen. It's what I'm here for. (Chad smiles at her) wewe go first!
Chad: No wewe go first.
Sonny: No wewe g- ok same time.
Chad: Yeah.
Sonny: One... two...
Chad: I was gonna say that yeah, um, 2 and a half?
(Tanwi grabs the remote and turns off camera)
Walk A Mile In My Pants
Sonny: hujambo Chad. Did wewe hear about my Walk-a-Thon for books?
Chad: Oh yes, we did. And I have to say Sonny, wewe are very inspiring,thats why I upendo wewe sonny.
Sonny: Well, we have so much. It's important that we give back.
Chad: (laughs) Aah, I meant wewe inspired me to have a Walk-a-Thon against your Walk-a-Thon.
Sonny: (Pauses to look at the flyer Chad handed to her) A Walk-a-thon against books? How could wewe be against vitabu Chad ?
Chad: That's easy. The zaidi wewe read, the less wewe watch MacKenzie Falls.
Sonny: That's your cause Chad, To get people to watch zaidi TV? your are such a jerk.
Chad: Are wewe not listening? It's to get them to read less. I'll see wewe at the Walk-a-Thon to read less books. (turns and turns back around) I've got something to tell wewe Sonny. We're gonna raise zaidi money than you.
Sonny: For what?
Chad: Not buy books.
Sonny: That makes no sense.
Chad: Aah. Guess all that kusoma you're doing isn't making wewe any smarter now, is it? See ya.
Chad: We're gonna look hotter than wewe at the Walk-a-Thon.
Sonny: (laughs) Giving back is whats hot!
Chad: That's what people who don't look hot say.
Chad: Sonny! Sonny, come here! I need to tell wewe something, in case I don't make it.
Sonny: Okay.
Chad: I love...
Sonny: Yes?
Chad: I mean I deeply love..
Sonny: Go on!
Chad: ...that zaidi kids are kusoma less vitabu because of Chad Dylan Cooper!
Sonny: (lets go of Chad's hand and touches his forehead) Oh no! I think you're coming down with P.F.S. too!
Chad: What's that!?
Sonny: (picks up pillow) mto in the Face Syndrome! (hits Chad with pillow)
Doctor: Ms. Monroe!
Sonny: Yeah, just fluffing Doc! (throws mto at Chad and walks over to the doctor)
Chad: Give it to me straight, doctor! I can take it.
Doctor: wewe have L.B.S.
Chad: (gasps) Leaving Boy Syndrome?!
Doctor: No. Lack of Book Syndrome! Also known as Lazy Butt Syndrome! lbs is also the abbreviation of pounds, (starts poking Chad), which is what wewe are going to gain if wewe don't stop watching yourself on T.V.
Chad: Can't wewe just cut my pants off? wewe know how wewe do?
Doctor: Read two books, then call me in the morning, Mr. Cooper. (hands Chad a perscription)
Chad: (Looks at perscription) Actually it's Dylan Cooper.
Doctor: Not anymore, I removed your Dylan while wewe were under.
Chad: NO! What did wewe do to it?!
Doctor: I gave it to someone who wouldn't waste it! (Opens curtains to reveal Grady)
Doctor: Good afternoon, Mr. Grady Dylan Mitchell.
Grady: I got my Dylan. I've been waiting for 2 years!
Chad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (cries) WHY?!
(Chad wakes up)
Chad: I must have fallen asleep reading. Stupid books. That was horrible! (closes book)
Sonny: We have to make this work.The only way we can get Tawni to walk with us,is if we wear her jeans,because her mashabiki will see her on TV,us wearing her jeans,sell her zaidi jeans,raise zaidi money for books,and less money for no books, and everyone wins except Chad!
Nico: We're gonna need a butt-horn for the butt-horn,'cause this baby ain't coming out.
Sonny:(to Tawni) About the butt-horn, wewe might want to re-think the placement of your face.
Tawni: I'd rather crawl hot then walk ugly.
Sonny Get Your Goat
Tawni: I don't know why you're packing, you're not going anywhere until wewe apologize!
Sonny: I don't know why you're packing because I'm not apologizing!
Tawni: Of course you're apologizing it's your thing, wewe apologize. It's the mduara, duara of life (Pretends to draw a mduara, duara in the air) cir-cle!
Sonny: And here's what I think about wewe (Makes hand motion) cir-cle (Pretends to grab circle)
Tawni: (Gasp) What are wewe doing to my circle?!
Sonny: I'm ripping it! (Pretends to rip circle)
Tawni: Give me that! (They start fighting for the circle)
Sonny: Got it! (Tawni cries)
Sonny: Let Tawni have her fancy european adventure,let her be mobbed kwa adoring fans,let her be wooed kwa gorgeous boy with accents...
Marshal: Pushed wewe out,didn't she?
Sonny: Yeah.
Gassie Passes
Sonny: (to Gassie) wewe know, I used to have a dog just like wewe in Wisconsin. Yeah, except he was a beagle with three legs and one eye. We called him Lucky! Or... au Limpy. au Blindy. But, wewe know, it didn't matter what we called him because he was deaf too!
Sonny: I didn't come here to argue I came here to give Gassie some dog time. Beneath the trees and on grass...
Chad: Except the nyasi is plastic and the trees are cardboard(through the bull-horn)THIS IS A SET.
Sonny: Good then what Gassie is doing to that kichaka over there wont kill it.
(looking at the Gassie & We movie poster)
Tawni: Why is Gassie's head bigger then mine?
Sonny: Well, I'm not sure that it is.
(lunch-box lets out a farting sound)
Sonny: Gross! wewe want people to buy that and then put chakula in it?
Zora: Gross sells sister.
Dakota: wewe have have very nice blue eyes.
Grady: Why thank you.
Dakota: It'd be a shame if wewe Lost one of them!
Grady: Yeah it would.
Dakota: Now hand me to the Matador!(Grady hands her to Nico)
Nico: Hola?
Chad: wewe just found out your boyfriend's a vampire,you're scared,you're confused,you have two holes in your neck what do wewe do? AND ACTION!
Sonny with a Song
Chad: "Bangs and Fangs" we all get awesome hair and get bitten kwa vampires.
Nico: Is your onyesha written kwa monkeys?
Chad: Chad Dylan Cooper fears nothing.
Sonny: Spiders.
Chad: Not the little ones.
Sonny: Heights.
Chad: Not the little ones.
To be continued....
P.S.
Sorry if there are any mistakes.The things I wrote were the nukuu I remembered. Feel free to correct the mistakes in the maoni section and feel free to add some of your fav. SWAC quotes.
