Stand kwa Me turns 30 on August 22, 2016. THIRTY. Oh look, an excuse to watch the movie 30 zaidi times and put together a orodha of inayopendelewa quotes!
I've provided a light commentary, in italics, because I just couldn't help myself. (Don't worry, it's easy to ignore, if you're just here for the quotes.) Feel free to comment, I'd upendo to know about your vipendwa too!
#30:
"You guys wanna go see a dead body?"
Look guys, it's the plot of the movie! What respectable young boy could resist an offer like this?
#29:
"If I could only have one chakula for the rest of my life? That's easy. Pez. cherry flavor Pez. No swali about it."
I admire your dedication to cherry Pez, Vern, but I regret to inform wewe that the cherry kind is the worst kind.
#28:
"Would wewe two shut the fuck up? If either one of wewe assholes had $2,000, I'd kill wewe both."
I completely believe that Ace could kill any of his 'friends' without ever giving it a sekunde thought. Congrats guys, you're getting carved up for a gang run kwa a sociopath. (As opposed to other wholesome, respectable gang leaders.)
#27:
"Two for flinchin'!"
I particularly enjoy the scene where Vern is finally the one who makes Teddy flinch, but this includes all of them!
#26:
"TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!"
"Oh, shit."
LOL, Vern. That'd probably be my reaction, too.
#25:
"You got two choices. wewe leave quietly, we take the body. Or, wewe can stay, we beat the shit out of you, we take the body."
Choice #3: Ace goes nyumbani to fuck his mother some more.
#24:
Finding new, and preferably disgusting, ways to degrade a friend's mother was always held in high regard.
Jokes about your friends' mothers will never go out of style.
#23:
"I was the stupid one for even trying to give it back. I never thought... I never thought that a teacher... Oh, who gives a fuck anyway? I just wish I could go to some place where nobody knows me."
Come here and let me upendo you.
#22:
"That's not the secret knock."
"I forget the secret knock, let me in!"
"Veeern."
This was the best introduction. Oh, Vern. Of course you're the one who doesn't remember the secret knock.
#21:
"Nothin' like a smoke after a meal."
"Yeah. I cherish these moments."
Teddy, wewe dork. It was funny at the time, but when wewe think about the rest of Teddy's life, this probably was his most cherished time. Young, free, just hangin' with friends... happy list, this is a happy list.
#20:
"Is it loaded?"
"Hell no! What do wewe think I am?"
*gun goes off*
"JESUS!"
A+, River and Wil. A+.
#19:
"Yeah, Vern told us how wewe found him: Oh, Billy, I wish we never boosted that car! Oh, Billy! I think I just turned my matunda of the Looms into a fudge factory!"
You're a brave little shit, Teddy Duchamp.
#18:
"Gordie, go get the provisions, wewe morphodite."
"Don't call me any of your mother's pet names."
A much better response than "I'm rubber, you're glue", and zaidi unexpected if you're not running with a crowd who speaks fluent Stand kwa Me.
#17:
"What's asshole about wanting to be with your friends?"
"It's asshole if your Marafiki drag wewe down!"
Listen to Chris. Don't just end up another wise guy with shit for brains.
#16:
"This is really a good time."
"The most."
"A blast."
Vern didn't just mean being off limits inside the junkyard au fudging on our folks au going on a hike up the railroad tracks to Harlow. He meant those things but it seems to me now there was more, and that we all knew it. Everything was there. And around us. We knew exactly who we were and exactly where we were going. It was grand.
Ah, those were the days. Enjoy it while wewe can, kids.
#15:
"Slowly, a sound started to build in Lard Ass's stomach. A strange and scary sound like a log truck coming at wewe at a hundred miles an hour. Suddenly, Lard punda opened his mouth. And before Bill Travis knew it, he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Boss Man Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins. Principal Wiggins barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting inayofuata to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's tits! But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when Lard Ass's plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends! Kids barfed on their parents! A fat lady barfed in her purse! The Donnelly twins barfed on each other! And the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelope. And Lard punda just sat back and enjoyed what he created. A complete and total barf-a-rama."
I don't know why Mayor Grundy barfing on his wife's tits is my inayopendelewa part of this story. It just is. The fat lady barfing in her mfuko wa fedha, mfuko is second. XD
#14:
"Now, he alisema "sic' em, boy," but what I heard was, "Chopper, sic balls."
*GORDIE SCREAM*
#13:
"I wish the hell I was your dad. wewe wouldn't be going around talking about taking these stupid duka courses if I was. It's like God gave wewe something, man. All those stories that wewe can make up. And he said: This is what we got for you, kid, try not to lose it. But kids lose everything unless there's someone there to look after them. And if your parents are too fucked up to do it, then maybe I should."
Chris Chambers was too precious for this world.
#12:
"What do we need a pistol for, anyway?"
"It's spooky sleeping out at night in in the woods. We might see a bear. au a garbage can."
Jesus, those garbage cans are dangerous!
#11:
"You four-eyed pile of shit!" "The pile of shit has a thousand eyes!"
I only have two eyes, but I roll them at Teddy a lot.
#10:
"Suck my fat one? Who ever told wewe wewe had a fat one, Lachance?"
"Biggest one in four counties."
Perhaps it was part of a package deal, and it came with his newfound confidence. ;)
#9:
I never had any Marafiki later on like the Marafiki I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?
Probably not. Pause for moderately sad reflection.
#8:
"Shut up!"
"I don't shut up, I grow up! And when I look at you, I throw up! BLEHHH!"
"And then your mother goes around the corner and she licks it up."
Ooooh, wewe go Gordie.
#7:
"This is your last chance. What do wewe say, kid?"
"Why don't wewe go nyumbani and fuck your mother some more?"
Christopher, I appreciate wewe being brave and standing up to a bully, but not when he's coming at wewe with a knife!
#6:
"Okay. You've stated your position clearly. Now I'm gonna state mine. Get in the fucking car. NOW!"
So calm. So terrifying. Kiefer was so freakin' good in this movie.
#5:
As time went on, we saw less and less of Teddy and Vern until, eventually, they became just two zaidi faces in the halls. That happens sometimes. Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant.
There is no better au truer way to put this.
#4: "Okay. wewe guys can go round if wewe want. I'm crossing here. And while wewe guys are dragging your candy-asses half way across the state and back I'll be waiting for wewe on the other side, relaxing with my thoughts."
"You use your left hand au your right hand for that?"
"You wish."
Teddy's going on and on, all stubborn and righteous, and Gordie just ruins his bad-ass speech with a joke. I upendo it.
#3:
"I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!"
Points for creativity, delivery, and usefulness. It's a good quote to have on file, should the need for a violent outburst ever arise.
#2:
"Come on Teddy, act your age!"
"This is my age! I'm in the prime of my youth! And I'll only be young once!"
"Yeah, but you're gonna be stupid for the rest of your life."
BRB, LOLing @ my preciouses.
#1:
"Suck my fat one, wewe cheap dime store hood.
This one obviously requires no further comment.
I've provided a light commentary, in italics, because I just couldn't help myself. (Don't worry, it's easy to ignore, if you're just here for the quotes.) Feel free to comment, I'd upendo to know about your vipendwa too!
#30:
"You guys wanna go see a dead body?"
Look guys, it's the plot of the movie! What respectable young boy could resist an offer like this?
#29:
"If I could only have one chakula for the rest of my life? That's easy. Pez. cherry flavor Pez. No swali about it."
I admire your dedication to cherry Pez, Vern, but I regret to inform wewe that the cherry kind is the worst kind.
#28:
"Would wewe two shut the fuck up? If either one of wewe assholes had $2,000, I'd kill wewe both."
I completely believe that Ace could kill any of his 'friends' without ever giving it a sekunde thought. Congrats guys, you're getting carved up for a gang run kwa a sociopath. (As opposed to other wholesome, respectable gang leaders.)
#27:
"Two for flinchin'!"
I particularly enjoy the scene where Vern is finally the one who makes Teddy flinch, but this includes all of them!
#26:
"TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!"
"Oh, shit."
LOL, Vern. That'd probably be my reaction, too.
#25:
"You got two choices. wewe leave quietly, we take the body. Or, wewe can stay, we beat the shit out of you, we take the body."
Choice #3: Ace goes nyumbani to fuck his mother some more.
#24:
Finding new, and preferably disgusting, ways to degrade a friend's mother was always held in high regard.
Jokes about your friends' mothers will never go out of style.
#23:
"I was the stupid one for even trying to give it back. I never thought... I never thought that a teacher... Oh, who gives a fuck anyway? I just wish I could go to some place where nobody knows me."
Come here and let me upendo you.
#22:
"That's not the secret knock."
"I forget the secret knock, let me in!"
"Veeern."
This was the best introduction. Oh, Vern. Of course you're the one who doesn't remember the secret knock.
#21:
"Nothin' like a smoke after a meal."
"Yeah. I cherish these moments."
Teddy, wewe dork. It was funny at the time, but when wewe think about the rest of Teddy's life, this probably was his most cherished time. Young, free, just hangin' with friends... happy list, this is a happy list.
#20:
"Is it loaded?"
"Hell no! What do wewe think I am?"
*gun goes off*
"JESUS!"
A+, River and Wil. A+.
#19:
"Yeah, Vern told us how wewe found him: Oh, Billy, I wish we never boosted that car! Oh, Billy! I think I just turned my matunda of the Looms into a fudge factory!"
You're a brave little shit, Teddy Duchamp.
#18:
"Gordie, go get the provisions, wewe morphodite."
"Don't call me any of your mother's pet names."
A much better response than "I'm rubber, you're glue", and zaidi unexpected if you're not running with a crowd who speaks fluent Stand kwa Me.
#17:
"What's asshole about wanting to be with your friends?"
"It's asshole if your Marafiki drag wewe down!"
Listen to Chris. Don't just end up another wise guy with shit for brains.
#16:
"This is really a good time."
"The most."
"A blast."
Vern didn't just mean being off limits inside the junkyard au fudging on our folks au going on a hike up the railroad tracks to Harlow. He meant those things but it seems to me now there was more, and that we all knew it. Everything was there. And around us. We knew exactly who we were and exactly where we were going. It was grand.
Ah, those were the days. Enjoy it while wewe can, kids.
#15:
"Slowly, a sound started to build in Lard Ass's stomach. A strange and scary sound like a log truck coming at wewe at a hundred miles an hour. Suddenly, Lard punda opened his mouth. And before Bill Travis knew it, he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Boss Man Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins. Principal Wiggins barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting inayofuata to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's tits! But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when Lard Ass's plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends! Kids barfed on their parents! A fat lady barfed in her purse! The Donnelly twins barfed on each other! And the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelope. And Lard punda just sat back and enjoyed what he created. A complete and total barf-a-rama."
I don't know why Mayor Grundy barfing on his wife's tits is my inayopendelewa part of this story. It just is. The fat lady barfing in her mfuko wa fedha, mfuko is second. XD
#14:
"Now, he alisema "sic' em, boy," but what I heard was, "Chopper, sic balls."
*GORDIE SCREAM*
#13:
"I wish the hell I was your dad. wewe wouldn't be going around talking about taking these stupid duka courses if I was. It's like God gave wewe something, man. All those stories that wewe can make up. And he said: This is what we got for you, kid, try not to lose it. But kids lose everything unless there's someone there to look after them. And if your parents are too fucked up to do it, then maybe I should."
Chris Chambers was too precious for this world.
#12:
"What do we need a pistol for, anyway?"
"It's spooky sleeping out at night in in the woods. We might see a bear. au a garbage can."
Jesus, those garbage cans are dangerous!
#11:
"You four-eyed pile of shit!" "The pile of shit has a thousand eyes!"
I only have two eyes, but I roll them at Teddy a lot.
#10:
"Suck my fat one? Who ever told wewe wewe had a fat one, Lachance?"
"Biggest one in four counties."
Perhaps it was part of a package deal, and it came with his newfound confidence. ;)
#9:
I never had any Marafiki later on like the Marafiki I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?
Probably not. Pause for moderately sad reflection.
#8:
"Shut up!"
"I don't shut up, I grow up! And when I look at you, I throw up! BLEHHH!"
"And then your mother goes around the corner and she licks it up."
Ooooh, wewe go Gordie.
#7:
"This is your last chance. What do wewe say, kid?"
"Why don't wewe go nyumbani and fuck your mother some more?"
Christopher, I appreciate wewe being brave and standing up to a bully, but not when he's coming at wewe with a knife!
#6:
"Okay. You've stated your position clearly. Now I'm gonna state mine. Get in the fucking car. NOW!"
So calm. So terrifying. Kiefer was so freakin' good in this movie.
#5:
As time went on, we saw less and less of Teddy and Vern until, eventually, they became just two zaidi faces in the halls. That happens sometimes. Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant.
There is no better au truer way to put this.
#4: "Okay. wewe guys can go round if wewe want. I'm crossing here. And while wewe guys are dragging your candy-asses half way across the state and back I'll be waiting for wewe on the other side, relaxing with my thoughts."
"You use your left hand au your right hand for that?"
"You wish."
Teddy's going on and on, all stubborn and righteous, and Gordie just ruins his bad-ass speech with a joke. I upendo it.
#3:
"I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!"
Points for creativity, delivery, and usefulness. It's a good quote to have on file, should the need for a violent outburst ever arise.
#2:
"Come on Teddy, act your age!"
"This is my age! I'm in the prime of my youth! And I'll only be young once!"
"Yeah, but you're gonna be stupid for the rest of your life."
BRB, LOLing @ my preciouses.
#1:
"Suck my fat one, wewe cheap dime store hood.
This one obviously requires no further comment.
