captain kirk!

Stardate 4233.7. Our destination is planet Nrutas.

Captain Kirk leaned mbele in his chair to squint at the mysterious planet appearing on the view screen. The planet looked a lot like Earth – swirled with colors of green, blue and white.

"What can wewe tell us about the planet, Mr. Spock?"

"Oxygen and atmosphere is like that of Earth, Captain," the Vulcan answered.

Soon Dr. McCoy joined them on the bridge and carefully approached Spock. "Spock, I've been thinking," the doctor said. "And I, uh, just wanted to apologize for calling wewe a 'shoemaker's elf' this morning."

Spock nodded. "Apology accepted."...

I was sent this kwa my friend, Natalie, who wrote this story. I had to share this with wewe all cuz it's hilarious.

The crew of the Enterprise react to a "Lines wewe wouldn't hear in nyota Trek" round on BBC 1's Mock the Week.

"NGDDHDTDGDHHCCHHCSHHOCHHH.....Scotty, that's the most convincing your accent has ever been," Frankie drawled, staring down the barrel of the camera.

The audience burst into laughter. Frankie started to songesha from the microphone, but his ears pricked at an odd noise. The audience started to mutter amongst themselves as the sound which resonated around the studio floor escalated,...

Starfleet Career Summary of James T. Kirk

2250 — As a first-year Academy student with ensign rank, assigned to U.S.S. Republic NCC-1371

2254 — Upon graduation, promoted to lieutenant and ilitumwa to U.S.S. Farragut under Capt. Garrovick

2264 — Promoted to captain, in command of U.S.S. Enterprise for five-year mission

2266 — Exonerated in wrongful death charge of Ben Finney, first captain ever to stand trial

2269 — Returned from five-year mission; promoted to admiral in charge of fleet operations at Earth

2271 — Demanded to relieve Capt. Will Decker, his choice as successor for the refit...