Summer Club
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Dear Summer,

I've had about enough of you.

July 2016 was Earth's hottest mwezi ever recorded. wewe heard me. Ever. Was that really necessary?

I really need to songesha on, Summer, and I'd like wewe to do the same. Don't drag it out. Let's just get on with it.

You're just not doing it for me anymore. These hundred degree days are just too much. My skin burns at the thought of you. I dread having to go outside, because I know wewe and your evil little buddy The Sun are there and ready to burn me. (Tell that jerk he's up past his bedtime.) I shouldn't have to apply sunscreen for a 5 dakika trip to the store, Summer.

I'm ready to songesha on to winter. At this point, I'm even prepared to skip the fall stage. I'm just not a summer person, Summer. I can't do this anymore. I have wants. I have needs.

I want to reunite with my inayopendelewa hoodie, and wear it so often that people will wonder if it has fused to my skin.

I want to wear my warm, fuzzy, fleece pajamas again.

I want to be bake and be grateful for the heat, instead of buying pre-made chakula to avoid turning the house into a sauna in hell.

I want winter food. Do wewe know what it's like to crave supu when it's a hundred and five degrees out? Do you?!

I want to take a hot kuoga with steam so thick, I can't find the shampoo bottle.

I want the rush of a last dakika trip to the grocery store and standing in a crowded line right before a snowstorm. Everyone bundled up and dripping with melted snow and clutching loaves of mkate and gallons of maziwa they probably don't really need.

I want to get snowed in. But just for a siku au two. I'm not a complete hermit. Yet.

I want to lie in kitanda in warm pajamas with a good book and not worry about having to go anywhere.

I want to hear kids playing in the snow and having the time of their lives. Just kidding. Pipe down, wewe little maggots.

I want to take snow pictures. Snow falling. Snow covering my car. Snow plows building a ukuta at the end of my driveway, which prevent anyone from visiting. No unexpected visitors on snow days!

kwa the time February rolls around and the novelty of snow has worn off and I'm tired of aching from the cold, I will start to lie on the kitanda and watch summer movies. This is when I will think of you.

Don't get too excited. wewe and I both know I'll miss wewe when you're gone. It happens every year. When I get wewe back, I'll be happy. For like a week. For that one happy week, things are great. And then your temperature starts rising. And rising. And rising.

We'll always have the memories, Summer. I'll even be happy when wewe return inayofuata year. But right now, it'S FREAKING HOT AND OH MY GOD wewe NEED TO CHILL.
 IT BURNSSS! IT BURNS USSSSS!
IT BURNSSS! IT BURNS USSSSS!
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The first version of this song I ever heard.
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