Santa Sammy,
I think there’s something loose in my house,
Not a mouse.
I need some help here, please,
Santa Sammy,
So hurry down my chimney tonight.

Santa Sammy,
A ghost au demon, I don’t know which.
Could be a witch
That’s put a spell on me,
Santa Sammy,
So hurry down my chimney tonight.

There’s still a lot of scary creatures
Left in this world.
I’m just an itty-bitty, scared,
Civilian girl.
I hate those things that go
Bump in the night.
They really do give me
A hell of a fright.

Santa Sammy,
I know your dad’s journal has got
A lot
Of stuff in there I could use,
Santa Sammy,
So bring it down my chimney tonight.

Santa Sammy,
Rock salt and iron rounds, too,
From you.
My life’s hanging on the line,
Santa Sammy,
So hurry down my chimney tonight.

I really don’t know how to do
Any of these things.
I’d be just as successful
Tying the ghost up with strings.
So if wewe could, when wewe bring
These things to me,
Maybe I could get a few
Lessons for free?

Santa Sammy,
A ’67 Chevrolet, please,
Complete
With arsenal in the trunk,
Santa Sammy.
Just park it kwa my chimney tonight.

Santa Sammy,
One last thing to add to the list,
I wish
That you’d leave wewe and your brother,
Santa Sammy,
Underneath my mti tonight.
Underneath my mti tonight.
Underneath my tree…
Tonight!

*Parody of Santa Baby, kwa Eartha Kitt.