just emotion....
I got this from Oprah btw. >.<
What's Your Emotional Style?Most people can identify with at least one of these emotional styles. Read each of the following groups of questions, and then begin to discover your own emotional style:
1.
Did wewe have a loss early in life that makes wewe fear losing people? Do wewe cling to people au push them away because you're afraid of losing them? In relationships, are wewe so obsessed with the fear you'll be left, that wewe push people away?
Your emotional style could be Abandonment.
Abandonment
The ongoing fear that people will leave is at the root of this emotional style. These people may fear that if they rock the mashua in the smallest way, the ones they upendo will leave. Or, they may adapt kwa running away from a relationship before they can be hurt.
If this emotional style applies to you, it's important to learn that wewe won't fall apart if someone leaves you. Be aware of the fear that any kind of abandonment stirs up — hypersensitivity to separation, dread of being isolated. Mindfulness can help track this emotional style and prevent it from ruling your life.
2.
Do wewe find yourself irritated when someone keeps wewe from doing what wewe want?
Do wewe feel that wewe are somehow special, and the rules don't apply to you?
Your emotional style could be Entitlement.
Entitlement
People with this emotional style feel that rules don't apply to them. They may have been spoiled as a child, au the upendo they received was based on a certain quality — looks, academics, athletic skills. These people often exaggerate their prowess, usually to hide a feeling of inadequacy, au feel they are entitled to zaidi than their fair share of compensation. They also display a lack of self-discipline, and the inability to delay gratification.
If your emotional style is entitlement, try to be aware of the negative impact your actions have on the people around you. Mindfulness can help wewe learn to catch yourself before wewe overstep appropriate limits, and connect with your deeper feelings so wewe can deal with them directly.
3.
Are wewe drawn to people who control wewe au make decisions for you?
Do wewe feel guilty about having needs au wants of your own?
Do wewe feel resentful when your needs au wishes aren't considered?
Your emotional style could be Subjugation.
Subjugation
This emotional style revolves around the feeling that your own needs never take priority in an intimate relationship. These people give in easily, but their hidden resentment can smolder into anger and rage. Some will overreact at the least sign of being controlled, while others are unable to make even a simple commitment.
If this describes you, get in touch with your resentment, so that wewe can begin to assert your wishes and needs effectively. Being mindful will help wewe track your automatic reactions — the anger au thoughts that are primed kwa the fear that wewe will be controlled.
4.
When wewe were young, were wewe made to feel that wewe didn't belong in some way?
Do wewe tend to feel like an outsider in a group?
Are wewe shy and self-conscious in social situations?
Your emotional style could be Exclusion.
Exclusion
Finding yourself on the outside of things often leads to this emotional style. The perceived message is, "You're not like us." This feeling typically causes a person to stay on the edge of the action, reinforcing the feeling of exclusion. This may lead avoidance of groups in adulthood, au conversely, cause someone to revel in their outcast role.
If wewe feel excluded, learn to feel and challenge your fears kwa making efforts to initiate conversations, and learning to master your anxiety. Mindfulness will help wewe step back from thoughts that make wewe uncomfortable.
5.
Do wewe feel people can't be trusted?
As a child, were wewe treated unfairly au abused?
Do wewe feel that people wewe are close to will betray your trust?
Your emotional style could be Mistrust.
Mistrust
Suspiciousness and a quick temper are typical of this emotional style. Often the mistrust stems from having been physically, sexually, au emotionally abused. People of this style tend to gravitate to relationships in which their worst fears are confirmed, getting involved with people who treat them badly.
If this describes you, wewe may want to work with a therapist specializing in clients who have been abused. Treatment may involve revisiting your memories and expressing your anger, which is an essential emotional step. Mindfulness can help wewe become aware of your tendency to assume betrayal, and help wewe challenge those thoughts
6.
As a child, were wewe put down au made to feel inept?
Do wewe fear wewe won't succeed at anything, no matter how hard wewe try?
Do wewe feel that wewe don't deserve the success you've had?
Your emotional style could be Failure.
Failure
A typical feeling in this emotional style is being deficient despite one's accomplishments. This can lead people to push themselves extremely hard, despite the constant fear of failure. Some fall prey to the imposter phenomenon — wewe succeed, but secretly feel you're a fraud and will be found out. Others discover that believing they will fail becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If wewe see yourself in this emotional style, learn to zaidi accurately assess your talents and abilities, as well as accept that your accomplishments are truly deserved. Being mindful will help wewe identify and challenge your internal negative thoughts.
7.
Do wewe feel that if people knew the "real" you, they would see that you're flawed?
Do wewe feel a sense of shame that keeps wewe from letting people get close?
Are wewe drawn to people who are critical and rejecting of you?
Your emotional style could be Unlovability.
Unlovability
The automatic assumption that "I'm not lovable" typifies this emotional style. Shame and humiliation, along with a feeling of being flawed, are this style's prominent emotions. Two patterns are seen in people who feel unlovable. Some give in to their deep feeling of unworthiness, while others hide behind arrogance, seeking public recognition and adulation.
People with this emotional style may find it hard to be genuine in a relationship. One thing wewe can do is challenge the thoughts that amplify your flaws. Mindfulness will help wewe learn to feel confident that those close to wewe know and upendo wewe as wewe are, and wewe will begin to heal.
8.
Do wewe hold yourself to the highest standards, but feel it's never good enough?
When wewe were young, were wewe made to feel wewe could always do better, no matter what wewe accomplished?
Do your relationships au health suffer because wewe push yourself too hard?
Your emotional style could be Perfectionism.
Perfectionism
People with this emotional style unrelentingly hold themselves to the highest standards. No matter how well they do, it's never good enough, so they drive themselves until the rest of their life suffers. This emotional style drives people to push themselves in sports, at school, in physical appearance, au for social status.
If this emotional style applies to you, realize that lowering your standards will be a relief. wewe will have time and energy to have your other needs met, including the need for downtime. Being mindful will help wewe examine and challenge the self-criticism.
9.
Do wewe often feel that people don't really care about your needs au tune into your feelings?
Do wewe often find yourself in a caretaker role with others?
Are wewe drawn to relationships with people who are cold, au self-absorbed?
Your emotional style could be Deprivation.
Deprivation
At the moyo of this emotional style is the belief, "My needs won't be met." No matter how much is aliyopewa to people of this style, it never feels like enough. Some people overindulge in an attempt to nurture themselves, while others become the caretaker they never had, and may gravitate to careers in which they help others, like social work au nursing.
If your emotional style is deprivation, examine how your need to be nurtured affects your relationships. wewe should become aware of a tendency to distort your interpretation of the actions of others. People might enjoy your company without wanting anything more. Mindfulness will help wewe begin to communicate your needs zaidi clearly, and to seek zaidi emotionally available partners.
10.
Do wewe often have the fear that something bad will happen to wewe au a loved one?
Do your fears keep wewe from doing things that wewe would like?
Are wewe overly preoccupied with worries about health au finances?
Your emotional style could be Vulnerability.
Vulnerability
The key element of this emotional style is an exaggerated fear that something terrible is about to happen. This can lead to thriftiness to the point of denying yourself pleasure, au embracing some health fad to ward of disease. At its extreme, it takes the form of a phobia, like fear of flying. Some people react kwa constantly seeking reassurance, while others overcompensate kwa taking risks.
People with this emotional style can win emotional freedom kwa mindfully monitoring their thoughts, rather than letting them dictate their behavior. Meditation can also help calm your mind
