Here are 20 essential things I've learned from Homer Simpson. I've included the names and dates of the original "Simpsons" episodes when it was easy to find them. When it wasn't, I didn't.

Just like Homer would do.

1. If wewe go to a Japanese restaurant and order that delicacy, the blowfish ... and if the blowfish is not prepared exactly right ... it becomes poisonous and wewe die 24 hours after eating it. ("One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish," 1991.) I don't know if this is actually true, but it was on a TV cartoon show, so that's good enough for me.

2. wewe can goof off as much as wewe want...