I have heard some very strange things from people over the years, and for the last mwaka au so I've kept a orodha of the best ones I hear.
So I thought it would be a good idea to share these with the world.
And of course to make it zaidi interesting, absolutely no context will be given.
Enjoy.
"Help! I'm being attacked kwa evil celery!" -me, 2017
"Looks like the AAAARGH!!! was full!" -me, 2018
"Oh no! My succubus!" -me, 2018
"I don't remember the kumquats..." -my dad, 2018
"I think I'm gonna cut the child." -Emilio, 2018
"If you're gonna get a baby, might as well buy them in bulk." -Teague, 2018
"So basically there was a 5-7 siku return policy on babies." -Emilio, 2018
"It's like pounding but weirder." -Emilio, 2018
"I only sometimes get hit with tortilla rollers." -Macy, 2018
"I have a hand in my hole." -Jake, 2018
"Just throw her down the stairs, it's fine!" -Emilio, 2018
"Ah, I've Lost my fuck." -Jake, 2018
"My teeth are in labor." -James, 2018
"You have a butt, right?" -Alana, 2018
"I haven't had a penis in a long time." -Hannah, 2018
"Sit on a nest of penises." -unknown, 2018
"Here's your goddamn penis!" -Teague, 2018
"Don't deepthroat my tortilla." -Jake, 2018
"Why the voices? Always the voices..." -Emilio, 2018
"You can't just yeet cake like wewe can a baby!" -Teague, 2018
"Why are wewe stealing all my liquids today?" -Piper, 2018
"Where did wewe put my hands?" -Conrad, 2018
"I'm like super good at wheat, guys." -Tatum, 2018
"I gotta go get punched again." -Carly, 2018
"I need a pill bottle!" -Kajal, 2018
"Do I need pants?" -Aidan, 2018
"Save it for the carrot cake." -Susan, 2018
"Flash me." -Chris, 2018
"What do wewe even sell? Blood?" -Elsa 2019
"It was the prettiest pain I've ever felt." -Conrad, 2019
"My eyes came out!!" -Sohum, 2019
"Just straight up murder that pencil." -unknown, 2019
"You can snap off your nail and shove it up your nose." -Soren, 2019
"That'll make your crap funnier." -Zac, 2019
"It's time for cry practice!" -Zac, 2019
"Do not kick the friar!" -Zac, 2019
"Where are my flanking Merry Men?" -Noah, 2019
"Some people are into hands." -Bryn, 2019
"I am a moral compass that's pointed in the wrong direction." -Talon, 2019
"I'm taking your toes." -Cate, 2019
"I'll drug you, don't worry!" -Bryam, 2019
"Murder sounds great!" -Skylee, 2019
"You go to a hairdresser and they put bleach in your dog." -Hana, 2019
"I did not say straddle Little John!" -Zac, 2019
"I will touch your butt softly." -Noah, 2019
"Where's my son, I gotta smack him!" -Noah, 2019
"There is no gender, only Elliott." -Elliott, 2019
"There is no God, only explosives!!" -Soren, 2019
"If death comes to get me, I won't be home." -Elsa, 2019
"You were one of the all-time best murderers ever!" -my dad, 2019
"Why is Vermont in Texas?" - unknown, 2020
"Oh no my twirly stick!" - Liam, 2020
"Cousin? au Spoon?" "Watch Robin kofia and find out." - some bila mpangilio people in WoW Trade chat, 2020
"That's some good looking dog food!" - Bloodemperor, 2020
"Just drop your seed and get away from me!" - Rag, 2020
"I wish you'd get out of my omelet." - Joe, 2020
"I'm gonna throw a potato at wewe and watch wewe die." - Greedy, 2021
"Holy Jesus Christ in a handbasket kicking me in the dick!" - Greedy, 2021
"Fucking cock juggling thundercunt carrying a basket of Baskin Robin's!" - Greedy, 2021
"You cannot cook the death knight." - Vohrd, 2021
"The apocalypse doesn't look too bad!" - Myro, 2021
So I thought it would be a good idea to share these with the world.
And of course to make it zaidi interesting, absolutely no context will be given.
Enjoy.
"Help! I'm being attacked kwa evil celery!" -me, 2017
"Looks like the AAAARGH!!! was full!" -me, 2018
"Oh no! My succubus!" -me, 2018
"I don't remember the kumquats..." -my dad, 2018
"I think I'm gonna cut the child." -Emilio, 2018
"If you're gonna get a baby, might as well buy them in bulk." -Teague, 2018
"So basically there was a 5-7 siku return policy on babies." -Emilio, 2018
"It's like pounding but weirder." -Emilio, 2018
"I only sometimes get hit with tortilla rollers." -Macy, 2018
"I have a hand in my hole." -Jake, 2018
"Just throw her down the stairs, it's fine!" -Emilio, 2018
"Ah, I've Lost my fuck." -Jake, 2018
"My teeth are in labor." -James, 2018
"You have a butt, right?" -Alana, 2018
"I haven't had a penis in a long time." -Hannah, 2018
"Sit on a nest of penises." -unknown, 2018
"Here's your goddamn penis!" -Teague, 2018
"Don't deepthroat my tortilla." -Jake, 2018
"Why the voices? Always the voices..." -Emilio, 2018
"You can't just yeet cake like wewe can a baby!" -Teague, 2018
"Why are wewe stealing all my liquids today?" -Piper, 2018
"Where did wewe put my hands?" -Conrad, 2018
"I'm like super good at wheat, guys." -Tatum, 2018
"I gotta go get punched again." -Carly, 2018
"I need a pill bottle!" -Kajal, 2018
"Do I need pants?" -Aidan, 2018
"Save it for the carrot cake." -Susan, 2018
"Flash me." -Chris, 2018
"What do wewe even sell? Blood?" -Elsa 2019
"It was the prettiest pain I've ever felt." -Conrad, 2019
"My eyes came out!!" -Sohum, 2019
"Just straight up murder that pencil." -unknown, 2019
"You can snap off your nail and shove it up your nose." -Soren, 2019
"That'll make your crap funnier." -Zac, 2019
"It's time for cry practice!" -Zac, 2019
"Do not kick the friar!" -Zac, 2019
"Where are my flanking Merry Men?" -Noah, 2019
"Some people are into hands." -Bryn, 2019
"I am a moral compass that's pointed in the wrong direction." -Talon, 2019
"I'm taking your toes." -Cate, 2019
"I'll drug you, don't worry!" -Bryam, 2019
"Murder sounds great!" -Skylee, 2019
"You go to a hairdresser and they put bleach in your dog." -Hana, 2019
"I did not say straddle Little John!" -Zac, 2019
"I will touch your butt softly." -Noah, 2019
"Where's my son, I gotta smack him!" -Noah, 2019
"There is no gender, only Elliott." -Elliott, 2019
"There is no God, only explosives!!" -Soren, 2019
"If death comes to get me, I won't be home." -Elsa, 2019
"You were one of the all-time best murderers ever!" -my dad, 2019
"Why is Vermont in Texas?" - unknown, 2020
"Oh no my twirly stick!" - Liam, 2020
"Cousin? au Spoon?" "Watch Robin kofia and find out." - some bila mpangilio people in WoW Trade chat, 2020
"That's some good looking dog food!" - Bloodemperor, 2020
"Just drop your seed and get away from me!" - Rag, 2020
"I wish you'd get out of my omelet." - Joe, 2020
"I'm gonna throw a potato at wewe and watch wewe die." - Greedy, 2021
"Holy Jesus Christ in a handbasket kicking me in the dick!" - Greedy, 2021
"Fucking cock juggling thundercunt carrying a basket of Baskin Robin's!" - Greedy, 2021
"You cannot cook the death knight." - Vohrd, 2021
"The apocalypse doesn't look too bad!" - Myro, 2021