SLOTH

'Do wewe ever get off the couch, sir?
Do wewe ever get off the kitanda and stop watching TV?
Do wewe ever go for a run?
Do wewe ever simply walk around au exercise outside?
Do wewe just play video games all day, sir?
Do wewe even do any work?
Man, wewe are lazy! '

I would not be surprised if someone
alisema this to you, my friend,
For I am the cause of it all.
I am one of the Deadly Sins,
As wewe humans call me,
For I am what makes people a lazy bum.

I am a daemon from the pits of hell,
As are all my other brothers,
But I must say,
That I am not a sin,
But rather a human instinct.
And it amuses me to see wewe sit around on the couch,
Getting fatter,
And fatter,
And much unhealthier,
With gaining LDL,
Which your doctors call 'bad cholesterol, '
And with wewe sleeping all the time,
wewe just make people angry because wewe will not
Get up and help.

wewe see, good sir,
I am the reason
wewe may have dropped out of high school,
Since wewe were too lazy
To do your homework
And would have rather hit the booze
au have done drugs with your buddies instead.

I am the reason wewe may have been
Taken off the Varsity team,
Because wewe were either too lazy to exercise
And contribute to the sports team,
au wewe may have been too lazy in school,
And decided to get all F's in school.

I am the reason wewe may not have graduated,
For wewe took school less seriously than others,
And wewe did not do your homework,
And wewe had to take your freshman courses
Over and over again
Just because wewe failed them;
Yet wewe could not complete your required classes
In your four years
And the No Child Left Behind Act
Took wewe out of school,
Without letting wewe get your diploma.

wewe blew off school like it was nonsense,
And I laugh at your stupidity,
For wewe struggle to get your GED to this day.

I am the reason wewe may have dropped out of college,
For wewe thought college was too much work,
And decided to blow off the work
And to party all the time,
Getting hangovers every morning,
And failing your classes the inayofuata day.
wewe gave up to studying,
And gave in to me,
Which makes wewe fail intensively.

I am the reason wewe did not earn your major,
For wewe partied too much,
And wewe felt studying was too much work,
And now I am amused to see that your life
Is a wreck
With wewe living in a trailer park
Lying on your couch,
Watching your antennae TV
With Dish Network as your supplier,
And wewe unable to hold a job.

I am the reason wewe may have Lost your job,
For wewe slacked off too much,
And played games on your computer
Instead of filing reports
au programming the computer system
That your boss asked wewe to do.
wewe would rather play Sudoku
au check your email
Than do what your boss asks wewe to do.
wewe would sleep all the time,
And play Starcraft on your laptop,
And play a little bit of WOW
And Skyrim
Instead of contacting your associates
Internationally.
wewe made your boss angry,
And he finally had the last straw,
So he decided to moto you,
And now wewe have no job,
And your life is ruined,
For wewe cannot find any employment.
It amuses me to see wewe in this way,
As miserable as wewe are.

I am also the reason why your marriage crashed,
For whenever wewe came home,
wewe would rather lie on the couch
And sleep
Than help your wife with the household chores
au making dinner
au helping take care of the kids.
I made wewe irresponsible,
Making wewe unreliable with money,
Untrustworthy in your actions,
Lacking in truth-telling,
And making your work ethic horrible.
Your wife cannot stand wewe anymore,
For wewe never help with anything,
And cannot ever keep your end of the deal.
wewe pitiful little thing,
wewe live your life in misery,
And all I can say is that it amuses me.

I am one of the Seven Deadly Sins,
And if your life has been clean of us,
wewe better be careful,
For I au one of my brothers may very much
Taint your life,
And we take amusement in your torment.

GLUTTONY

Oh, it looks so yummy!
For it looks so yummy in my tummy!

wewe have probably heard these words,
For wewe know what that feeling is,
For it is called hunger.
I am hunger to the extreme;
I am one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

I make wewe hungry,
And yet not only hungry,
But famished to insanity.

Hunger is such
A short word for what I do
To you,
For in fact,
It is an understatement
Of what I do to you.

I make wewe so greedy
When wewe eat at the dinnertable
That wewe eat everything in plain sight.
wewe eat zaidi than wewe can take,
Just like some of the Israelites did
When they wandered for forty years in the desert
In the Book of Numbers.

I am the reason why
wewe have a sweet tooth,
Eating kitindamlo after dessert,
Eating chokoleti bars,
And chocolate-chip cookies,
And Reese's karanga siagi cups kwa the dozens,
And 100 tons of karanga siagi cookie dough,
And 300 lbs. of sugar cookies,
And 70 lbs. of cake,
And Milky Way Candy bars,
Along with the 3 Musketeers,
Along with Twix and Snickers and Baby Ruth,
And Payday, as well,
And Starburst,
And Airheads,
And pies after pies,
And long johns,
And pastries,
And danishes, too.
I make wewe eat cinammon rolls,
And Swiss rolls,
As well,
And ecclaires,
And whatever kitindamlo there is.

I am the reason wewe gain weight,
For wewe eat starches,
And candies,
And oily foods,
And pop-tarts for breakfast,
And pop and soda,
All at the same time.

I am amused at how
wewe are able to gain so much weight.
I am also amused with your high cholesterol,
Which will eventually lead to arteriosclerosis,
And I will be amused to see wewe get a moyo attack, as well.

I am one of your instincts,
So do not fall for me,
au wewe will be cursed
For the rest of eternity.

WRATH

I am one of the deadly sins,
For I am the one that makes wewe feel angry,
And may lead wewe to do wrongful things.

I blind you,
And mask the truth from you;
I hide your actions,
And make them unaware to wewe until
wewe realise what just happened.

I am a curse,
For I blind wewe from the truth,
And make wewe unwilling to accept that truth,
Because I am anger,
Which makes your rage come true,
Which brings about your wrath,
Which is my true name,
And with it comes a grudge.

I am a curse,
And wewe do not want me,
But honestly,
It is fun for me to see
wewe hurting other people,
Even though wewe don't intentionally do it,
au even if wewe are blinded kwa the truth.
For I am Wrath,
And I take amusement from your anger,
And the pain wewe inflict on others,
And I am from the fiery pits of hell.

Beware of your human instincts,
For I am one of them,
And I may onyesha up in your fiery head.

ENVY

I am one of the deadly sins,
Something that will make death come to you
If wewe should feel me at all.
I am one of your emotions
Something wewe might not be able to control,
Something that will make wewe mad
If I were to make wewe feel it.

I am that feeling of desire,
Which wewe feel most of all,
That comes with lust,
Comes with materialism,
Comes with things wewe cannot explain.
I am the thing wewe will regret,
If wewe should
Ever
Get
Your
Way.

I am what wewe call jealousy,
That thing that makes the green-eyed monster,
au one of them, anyway.
I make wewe jealous,
For I make wewe want your best friend's girlfriend,
Make wewe desire your neighbour's wife,
Making wewe covet her in every way,
And making your lustful
Dreams come true.

I am the thing that makes wewe materialistic
Making wewe covet your neighbour's house,
Coveting the new lawn mower he received,
And the new 3D Tv he got at the store.
I make wewe covet the new cell phone
Your best friend has,
The new iPhone 4S with Siri on it and everything.
I make wewe covet your brother's new Lamborghini,
And your father's Chevy Camaro that was redone,
And your uncle's Ford Galaxy 500,
Which are all very appealing to your eyes,
Since wewe upendo cars so much.
I make your son covet his best friend's
New WiiU,
And his new Nintendo 3DS
Because he thinks it is so cool.
I make your wife covet her co-worker's Gucci,
The beautiful $500 mfuko wa fedha, mfuko she is not able to afford,
And I make your daughter covet her best friend's
Beautiful prom dress
Because wewe are not able to afford the beautiful
expensive dress for $2500.

I make wewe act in jealousy
When your wife is talking to another man,
For wewe become angry,
And wewe feel as if wewe are
Being cockolded.
wewe will not let a man take a hold of your wife,
And wewe will not let some buffoon make a fool out of you.
Your wife is beautiful,
And no one can lay eyes on her but you,
And if anyone DOES touch her,
He is in a world of danger.
No one will kuvuka, msalaba you,
For wewe know your ground,
And he knows his.
No one flirts with your wife.
After all, I do make wewe Ernest Hemingway.

I also make wewe act like Cain
When your brother gets all the attention from your parents,
For wewe never got anything,
And he always got the praise.
I songesha wewe to do evil,
And, yes, I encourage you.
I am your human forethought,
And only wewe can resist me.

I am envy,
I am a deadly sin,
And wewe know that,
However, I am just instinct,
Like all of the other sins,
And it amuses me to see wewe people fall,
For we are the wild beings in the night,
Released from the pits of hell....