Chapter 8: These Little Distractions

The inayofuata morning my mother came into the room and pulled the covers down to reveal my tear stained eyes that had dark circles underneath them. I had barely slept every time I closed my eyes Jacob was there with that devastated look on his face. “My poor baby” she alisema as she embraced me. “Do wewe want me to talk to him?” She asked. “No!” I answered quickly that certainly would not help anything. “I just don’t understand why he reacted this way about me liking a guy.” I said. My mother motioned for me to songesha over and she lay down inayofuata to me rubbing my hair. “Jacob has always been very protective of you, he doesn’t know Nahuel very well and I am sure he is worried that’s all…” she trailed off leaving me with the feeling that there is zaidi to the story. “Why do I feel as though everyone is keeping something from me when it comes to Jacob?” I exclaimed. “Maybe wewe should talk to him Nessie.” My mother alisema quietly. “That won’t work because he clearly doesn’t want to speak with me.” I quickly got out of kitanda and got dressed for school, I didn’t wait for Aunt Alice to bring me her pick of the siku I think that she knew to back off this morning. I grabbed a pair of jeans, a t shati and a pair of sneakers. My mother stayed on my kitanda looking at her hands, then she looked up at me, “You can stay nyumbani today if wewe would like I know that wewe are very upset. wewe are so much like your father, wewe are good at putting on an act but I know how wewe feel on the inside, I have been there myself it is horrible and I hate that wewe are going through it I wish I could take the pain for you” her voice broke with emotion. “It’s fine mom, I have to go to school everyone already talks about me enough I can’t give them zaidi material. Um, I was wondering if I could possibly invite a friend to my party tomorrow night?” My mother’s worried look was replaced kwa a smirk, “Don’t tell me it’s another guy I don’t think your father could handle it.” I laughed “No I actually met a decent girl her name is Sienna. Sienna Stanley.” My mother’s eyes flashed, “Does she have an older sister named Jessica?” She asked extremely interested. “Um I don’t know mom, I just met her remember?” She looked very serious, “You need to find out, I was Marafiki with a Jessica Stanley when I was in high school, she was a very inquisitive girl if she is anything like her sister this might be a bad idea. It will be very hard to keep our way of life a secret around someone if they are poking for information.” I grimaced at my mother, “See! THIS is why I thought high school was a terrible idea at least if I were away at school I wouldn’t have to worry about bringing Marafiki home! Sienna is not like that she point blank told me she doesn’t want to know anything. She is similar to Grandpa Charlie.” My mother sat for a moment thinking it over, “Ok”, she alisema “if that is the case then this just might work out but we all have to be very careful not to reveal anything.” “No problem” I promised, “thanks mom.” She started to head out of my room, “One zaidi thing I alisema in a quiet voice that made her look at me in concern,” I highly doubt that Jacob will be driving me to school in the morning can someone give me a ride for the inayofuata couple of days?” She looked at me and flashed me a determined smile, “Of course honey, your father and I can drop wewe off” her eyes narrowed “we have an errand that we need to run after anyways.” We ran to my grandparents where my father was already waiting. The air whipping against my face helped me to clear my thoughts momentarily, which allowed me time to remember all that had happened with Nahuel yesterday prior to my blow out with Jacob. I was suddenly nervous at the thought of seeing him again, Knowing that I was guaranteed to say something stupid to him. My grandmother tried to convince me to eat something since I had been too upset to hunt last night. I told her that I wasn’t hungry and couldn’t help but notice the look of concern that she shot over my head towards my parents. My father smiled at her, “Don’t worry Esme I will get her something on the way to school.” She gave me a peck on the cheek, “Enjoy your last siku as a mortal my dear.” I grimaced at the thought, why did I have to have so much going on at once? “Bye gram upendo you.” I alisema emotionlessly and walked out the door flanked kwa my parents. They decided to take the Lamborghini, my mother’s car I rolled my eyes and said, “Don’t wewe think it’s a little ostentatious to be dropped off in this, after driving an Audi yesterday?” My mother relating to how I felt offered to drop me off at the corner so that no one would see I smiled at her gratefully. My father turned to face me when I was seated in the backseat, “Nessie, everything will be fine with Jacob wewe will see.” I tried to smile bravely and act like I didn’t care but I knew he could read my thoughts as I saw the look of pain in his eyes. He hated seeing me upset, knowing that he couldn’t fix it. On the way he stopped and grabbed me a muffin, mkate ule ulikuwa mtamu and some machungwa, chungwa juice. “Thanks, I will eat in school.” I told him, they dropped me off at the corner and waited until I got onto school property before they sped off. As I walked into my first period biology class I slid into my kiti, kiti cha inayofuata to Sienna. “Hey, she looked up briefly from her drawing and commented, “Wow wewe look like hell.” Thanks I muttered. “Are wewe hungry," I asked her. She gladly accepted my breakfast I knew I would hear it from my father later but chakula was the last thing on my mind I felt horrid over what I had alisema to Jacob. As Mr. Banner droned on I tried to figure out why I was so bothered kwa what happened between me and Jacob… was it the terrible things I said, au the look on his face he was so hurt I cannot even describe it. Just reliving it was so painful. I couldn’t shake this disturbing feeling that our relationship was forever altered, and nothing would be the same. “Ms. Cullen, are wewe feeling alright?” Mr. Banner asked mildly annoyed. “Oh, um, yes sorry.” I stuttered looking down at my text book desperately trying to figure out where we left off. Sienna scribbled something violently as Mr. Banner turned to face the chalkboard to point to a swali for me she handed me a note just in time. “I asked wewe what is the term that describes cell death that is genetically programmed.” He waited for my answer. I didn’t even need to look down at the answer that Sienna had provided for me. “Apoptosis” I replied. He beamed at my answer and went back to the lesson. How ironic I thought to myself, cell death that is genetically programmed, that seemed to be the definition of my very existence the past few days. I had turned into my own worst enemy.
After class Sienna hunted me down. “Hey something is going on with you, I am not one to ask maswali but I am worried about you,” she told me. “It’s nothing I told her.” I just had a disagreement with a really close friend. “I’m sorry” she said, “if wewe want to talk about it let me know.” I loved the fact that she didn’t press me for information like everyone else did; I almost craved her company for this reason alone. “Thanks for bailing me out in there”, I alisema to her. “No problem couldn’t let Banner down he’s expecting wewe to win the inayofuata Nobel prize”, she smirked. I laughed it felt so good to laugh. “Hey what are wewe doing later? I asked her I figured that maybe some time away from everything would be good for me and she seemed to be the right kind of company. Sure she alisema what do wewe have in mind?” I don’t know lets meet up after school and we can figure something out”. She agreed to meet me in the parking lot and headed to her inayofuata class. Throughout the rest of the morning my mind gradually wandered to Nahuel, I brightened up a bit at the prospect of seeing him, yet Jacob continued to gnaw away at me. I didn’t understand my emotions towards him I had never felt like this before, I contemplated leaving school and going to La Push but I knew that my father would find out and probably meet me there, and it wouldn’t be pretty. Finally, the kengele rang signifying the start of lunch. I grabbed my bag and walked into the cafeteria, I looked up just in time to see something that made my mouth drop open.