CHAPTER 18
    

It has been 2 days, 3 hours, and 25 dakika and 3 seconds. Since I have been sitting here, thinking. Thinking of everything that has happened the last few days. I have killed both the sekunde most powerful Wanyonya damu in our world. I killed Jane and Alec. I still feel as though I failed. I failed my family. I failed my daughter. Though these days that I have been thinking I have been sitting in my room as still as a statute, not moving au breathing. Scared that realty will come down fast and harder then I would like it to.
    “Bella, honey, what are wewe thinking?” My beloved asked. It has been the first time anyone has talked scene we came in this room. I don’t mind the silence. I miss it even.
    “Nothing” I stated. I know I am lying but I don’t want to worry him and everyone down stairs. Who with no doubt are listening to every word for answers? I feel as though I should tell him but I can’t bring myself to do it. “Nothing at all” I alisema again with zaidi convened then last time.
    “Bella, don’t lie to me. I have known wewe for almost for 8 years. Don’t wewe dare lie to me. All it’s going to do it destroy us. So please Bella, just talk to me.” He said. He had a string of worry in his voice. Though Edward was always hiding it and covered it with a light hint of a teasing tone.
    “Edward, are wewe sure wewe want to know?” I asked hoping he would say no but he shakes his head yes. So I go into explain everything. Well kind of everything. “Fine. wewe asked for it.” I Sighed. Then begin. “I feel as though I failed wewe and my daughter, my own daughter. Who I wasn’t there for, instead I was battling the most ridiculous Wanyonya damu in this lifetime. I failed this family. I feel as though I don’t deserve to be in this family. I don’t belong in this family. wewe guys are saints compared to me. God, I killed the most powerful Wanyonya damu one kwa one. I also still have Aro and I have this weird feeling as though I may have to fight them just to follow through with the deal. I also have to make sure I find someone that will do a good job of being leader instead of having to be taken down later down the road.” I took a deep breath. This really wasn’t needed. “Edward, I am a monster. There is no taking back that I am. I am the one who killed two people not in even a few days ago. I am the one who is willing to kill Aro and everyone else who gets in the way of my family even if it kills me in the progress. Worst of all I am the worst mother, wife, also the worst person and also worst person to be in a family with.” I stated all of this in less than a dakika rant. I was upset with myself. I was mad at myself. I just wanted to crawl in kitanda and sob and cry the tears I will never be able to shed. He was going to convene me I didn’t do anything and say I am wrong but I don’t believe him. “Edward Mason Cullen, don’t wewe dare.” I yelled. “Just don’t wewe dare tell me I am wrong and that nothing I alisema was right.” I screamed. “Don’t wewe DARE!!!” I seethed. I could tell just kwa the look in his eyes that he was planning on doing just that. “Please Edward. Just don’t.” I stated. I fell into his arms and sobbed for everything and anything.
    “Bella, I know wewe don’t want to say anything but I feel as though it’s my job to say something. I also know it’s my job to care and help. Bella, wewe have not failed. wewe have won. wewe have won back our freedom and our time to spend endless time together with OUR daughter and OUR family because of you. Bella, wewe belong with our crazy, messed up family. Yes indeed wewe have killed Jane and Alec but that doesn’t make wewe a crazy monster. It makes wewe the wife that I upendo and makes wewe the amazing mother wewe are. It makes wewe the daughter and sister –in –law that they love. Yes, I wouldn’t be surprised if wewe had to take down Aro and wewe won. Though let us help wewe when it comes to that part. Please? “He took a breath and looked at me and held me tighter. “ Bella Cullen, wewe are no monster because your number one reason for fighting was for your family. I would have done the same if I knew what was going on” He said. He stared down at and started laughing. “We would all do that if need be. Don’t ever forget that. Don’t allow yourself to forget that wewe are not alone. That wewe have a whole big family downstairs and wewe have Neisse and I. I will always be kwa your side. If wewe let me.” He stated and he kissed me. We were soon interrupted Emmett.
    Yeah Bells were all here for you. No matter what kind of trouble wewe are in. wewe got to help. Even though what wewe did out there was killer. It was amazing. wewe got to teach me how to do some of that crap wewe did.” I laughed and alisema maybe. “Oh, no maybes. I get a defiantly from wewe missy. I understand wewe are stubborn as hell. God, did we just realize how stubborn wewe were when wewe pushed us all away.     Though just because wewe as stubborn as hell that doesn’t mean I won’t beat your ass.” He was standing in front of me with his arms out for a hug and I ran into them. He was my big teddy kubeba that was my big brother that I knew had until now.
    “Thanks Emmett. That was good to hear from you.” I said. With the upendo had for my inayopendelewa brother –in-law coming out thickly.
    “Your welcome, Bells. Now how about wewe come down stairs and explain what the hell happened.” Emmett said. I looked at Edward in a silent look asking if it would be okay and if he would come with me. He just nodded and picked me up and ran down the stairs into the living room bring me down also.
    “GUYS!” I yelled. “We need to talk everyone meet up in the living room.” I yelled. I walked over to the coach where my daughter was sitting and I grabbed onto her not letting go just letting her cry and sob into my shirt.
    “I am so sorry honey” I said. “I upendo wewe baby girl” I alisema and hugged her again. Edward sat down inayofuata to us and wiped away the tears falling down her cheeks.
10 dakika later
    Everyone filled into the room taking any kiti, kiti cha available. I took a deep breath before I looked at everyone and saw confusion and a million other expressions but the one that stand out the most is upendo and concern and relief and worry. Once everyone realized I was ready all hell broke loose.