WARNING This makala might be quite offensive to twilight, so if you're a shabiki of twilight (especially if you're one of these crazy fangirls) please do not waste your time to read this and comment. I know there's no point of me telling wewe this because you'll read and maoni anyways, but at least I tried.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, okay let me get this right, wewe think that someone stalking you, controlling you, dominating you, watching wewe sleep, being ridiculously possessive, threatening you, and deciding who wewe hang out with is romantic? What a smart person... no really... you're smarter than Einstein himself, NOT! Can wewe look at Elena for an example? If her boyfriend was Edward she would slap him in the face, hit him on the head and kick him on the dick. Unlike wewe here. Now I know what you'll say 'But she... wewe know... climbed... in the bed.... with... that freak... Damon... and... kissed him' First, please learn to say one sentence like all people do. Second, she felt something for Damon from months before. Now she discovered that it was worth it, and plus he was dying for God's sake!! What do wewe expect her to do? Curl up in the fetal position, go numb for months and jump off a cliff like wewe did?
Edward, oh my Gosh wewe are so hot!! Oh my Gosh I man it!! Oh my Gosh why are wewe so hot?! Oh my Gosh can I have a piece of your hotness?! Oh my Gosh I can't handle this!! Oh my Gosh I think I'm fainting!! Oh my Gosh!! Oh my gosh!! OH MY GOSH!!! Get a life will ya? First, sparkling au not, your body is disgusting. Do me a favor and warn me when wewe take your shati off so I can go watch Stefan au Damon take THEIR shirts off. Second, wewe are the biggest loser in the history of all losers, no offense. I mean seriously who the hell watches their girlfriend get kissed kwa the idiot werewolf and is okay with that? And what kind of a vampire drinks animal blood? Yeah I know Stefan used to drink animal blood, but he doesn't anymore!! Because REAL Wanyonya damu drink human blood, not animal blood wewe idiot!
Jacob, okay we get it, wewe have abs, you've got strength, wewe have muscles, wewe have hotness blah blah blah. But guess what wewe do not have? wewe don't have any brains! wewe have body but wewe don't have brains... like none at all. Who the hell falls in upendo with a five-minute-year-old baby of the woman that wewe love??! I'd really like to see Damon doing that to Elena. But that will never happen because unlike you, he has got hotness, awesomeness, strength, passion and brains. And this is why he's hot and girls like him for reasons other than his body and looks. At least he has these sarcastic laugh, these space-shifting moves, this incredibly sexy smirk. Unlike wewe little Mister I'm-so-cool-I-fall-in-love-with-Bella-and-her-new-born-baby! I don't understand how can wewe fall in upendo with someone like Bella in the first place. And calling her daughter Nessie? Really? NESSIE?!?!
Carlisle, stop trying to look like the handsome and smart father of the series because you're not. John died for his daughter, wewe barley agreed to fight for your son, Edward. So smart and brave Carlisle, so smart an brave.
Esme, same for you. I mean look at Isobel and what she did for Elena, Stefan, Damon, Caroline, Tyler, Bonnie, Jeremy, Alaric and everyone else, and then look at you. What a parody of a mother your are, what a parody of a mother.
James, wewe really think wewe cat turn out better than Klaus au Elijah? At least they talk normally and not trying to sound posher than the Queen of England herself! At least they look better than you! At least they know what they're doing! At least they don't go sniffing everywhere like mbwa to try and find something! And wewe call yourself a villain...
Victoria, so wewe want to get revenge on James, we get that. Then wewe form some kind of a vampire army turning about eighty people into Wanyonya damu for no reason but to get your own revenge?? Let me call Katherine and tell her to teach wewe how to get real revenge, how to be really attractive, how to really onyesha your powers, and how to be really bad-ass. But I'm afraid she'll kill wewe when she holds your hand because that's what real Wanyonya damu do... oh well...
Renesmee, all I think is that I should kill Edward and Bella, marry Tyler and Caroline, let them adopt wewe and change your name. And live with wewe like family. Seriously who do wewe think I am? A werewolf with no brains like Jacob? I will never get anyone like wewe close to Tyler au Caroline au anyone from the real Wanyonya damu au werewolves. I do feel sorry for wewe for having such awful parents and such an awful name but I cannot compare wewe to vampires. wewe know why? Because you're not real, they are. Comparing wewe two is like comparing night and day.
Rosalie, When wewe first turned into a vampire wewe liked it didn't you? Well let me tell wewe that Jenna cried her eyes out before she got killed kwa Klaus AGAIN. That's how people react when they realize they're a monster, they get SAD unless they want this whole thing, they do not go all happy and kill whoever they hated. But then again, wewe alisema wewe envy Bella for being human. Make up your mind woman! It's either wewe want it au wewe do not want it, it can't be freaking both!
Jasper, If wewe really think that you're as cool and awesome as Jeremy you're not. At least he has style, brains and love. Unlike you. Do wewe seriously care for anyone but Alice? Nope I don't think so. wewe spent about fifty years with the same clan in towns where there are a bunch of people and wewe still don't know how to control your thirst? au is it this Bella that has such a strong blood smell again? Oh how I wish wewe actually killed her. But yet again, that will prove your selfishness. wewe do not care who wewe eat as long as wewe do, and I'm not defending Bella here. wewe run away with your precious Alice. wewe return in the middle of the fight and barley even fight. Jeremy will always fight for his family, Marafiki and the girl he loves and who really deserves to be loved, Bonnie. He will always defend them and stand kwa them, unlike you.
Emmett, wewe think you're awesome as well? To the point of being as awesome as Matt? Okay, I admit I do not like Matt that much but compared to wewe he's the awesomest person on earth. At least he talks zaidi than two sentences a day. At least he actually loved Caroline and admitted that he made a mistake kwa snitching on her. I think the only reason wewe loved and the only reason wewe will ever upendo Rosalie is for her looks and only her looks. Because I have never seen any passion between wewe two, wewe maybe kissed once but that's it.
Alice, don't even try to be the head of the parties, the little hyper, talkative and cute girl because it's not working out with you. Caroline was, is and will always be awesome-er, cuter, prettier, and happier than wewe are. At least she has taste in men. Like Tyler. Your taste is awful. wewe didn't find anyone in this whole world but Jasper Hale to fit you? JASPER FREAKING HALE?!?!
Aro, wewe are also a parody of a vampire. Look at Klaus and Elijah and look at you. Pitiful, weak, lazy, shining fly. That's who wewe are. wewe make everyone do everything for you, wewe never do anything kwa yourself because you're the leader and don't want to get your hands dirty right? How stupid, how retarded?
Jane, no matter how much illusional pain your power brings to a person, wewe will never be as strong as Bonnie. She knows how to control her powers, unlike wewe who throws the whole thing unthinkingly and anyone, not mentioning that you're over a hundred years old. Bonnie is a real character, wewe are just a part of the whole Aro clan who is using wewe as his puppets to do all the dirty work. But I guess you're too blind to see that.
Regards, a Vampire Diaries fan
If wewe have any zaidi additions, feel free to tell me in the maoni and I'll add them to the letter.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, okay let me get this right, wewe think that someone stalking you, controlling you, dominating you, watching wewe sleep, being ridiculously possessive, threatening you, and deciding who wewe hang out with is romantic? What a smart person... no really... you're smarter than Einstein himself, NOT! Can wewe look at Elena for an example? If her boyfriend was Edward she would slap him in the face, hit him on the head and kick him on the dick. Unlike wewe here. Now I know what you'll say 'But she... wewe know... climbed... in the bed.... with... that freak... Damon... and... kissed him' First, please learn to say one sentence like all people do. Second, she felt something for Damon from months before. Now she discovered that it was worth it, and plus he was dying for God's sake!! What do wewe expect her to do? Curl up in the fetal position, go numb for months and jump off a cliff like wewe did?
Edward, oh my Gosh wewe are so hot!! Oh my Gosh I man it!! Oh my Gosh why are wewe so hot?! Oh my Gosh can I have a piece of your hotness?! Oh my Gosh I can't handle this!! Oh my Gosh I think I'm fainting!! Oh my Gosh!! Oh my gosh!! OH MY GOSH!!! Get a life will ya? First, sparkling au not, your body is disgusting. Do me a favor and warn me when wewe take your shati off so I can go watch Stefan au Damon take THEIR shirts off. Second, wewe are the biggest loser in the history of all losers, no offense. I mean seriously who the hell watches their girlfriend get kissed kwa the idiot werewolf and is okay with that? And what kind of a vampire drinks animal blood? Yeah I know Stefan used to drink animal blood, but he doesn't anymore!! Because REAL Wanyonya damu drink human blood, not animal blood wewe idiot!
Jacob, okay we get it, wewe have abs, you've got strength, wewe have muscles, wewe have hotness blah blah blah. But guess what wewe do not have? wewe don't have any brains! wewe have body but wewe don't have brains... like none at all. Who the hell falls in upendo with a five-minute-year-old baby of the woman that wewe love??! I'd really like to see Damon doing that to Elena. But that will never happen because unlike you, he has got hotness, awesomeness, strength, passion and brains. And this is why he's hot and girls like him for reasons other than his body and looks. At least he has these sarcastic laugh, these space-shifting moves, this incredibly sexy smirk. Unlike wewe little Mister I'm-so-cool-I-fall-in-love-with-Bella-and-her-new-born-baby! I don't understand how can wewe fall in upendo with someone like Bella in the first place. And calling her daughter Nessie? Really? NESSIE?!?!
Carlisle, stop trying to look like the handsome and smart father of the series because you're not. John died for his daughter, wewe barley agreed to fight for your son, Edward. So smart and brave Carlisle, so smart an brave.
Esme, same for you. I mean look at Isobel and what she did for Elena, Stefan, Damon, Caroline, Tyler, Bonnie, Jeremy, Alaric and everyone else, and then look at you. What a parody of a mother your are, what a parody of a mother.
James, wewe really think wewe cat turn out better than Klaus au Elijah? At least they talk normally and not trying to sound posher than the Queen of England herself! At least they look better than you! At least they know what they're doing! At least they don't go sniffing everywhere like mbwa to try and find something! And wewe call yourself a villain...
Victoria, so wewe want to get revenge on James, we get that. Then wewe form some kind of a vampire army turning about eighty people into Wanyonya damu for no reason but to get your own revenge?? Let me call Katherine and tell her to teach wewe how to get real revenge, how to be really attractive, how to really onyesha your powers, and how to be really bad-ass. But I'm afraid she'll kill wewe when she holds your hand because that's what real Wanyonya damu do... oh well...
Renesmee, all I think is that I should kill Edward and Bella, marry Tyler and Caroline, let them adopt wewe and change your name. And live with wewe like family. Seriously who do wewe think I am? A werewolf with no brains like Jacob? I will never get anyone like wewe close to Tyler au Caroline au anyone from the real Wanyonya damu au werewolves. I do feel sorry for wewe for having such awful parents and such an awful name but I cannot compare wewe to vampires. wewe know why? Because you're not real, they are. Comparing wewe two is like comparing night and day.
Rosalie, When wewe first turned into a vampire wewe liked it didn't you? Well let me tell wewe that Jenna cried her eyes out before she got killed kwa Klaus AGAIN. That's how people react when they realize they're a monster, they get SAD unless they want this whole thing, they do not go all happy and kill whoever they hated. But then again, wewe alisema wewe envy Bella for being human. Make up your mind woman! It's either wewe want it au wewe do not want it, it can't be freaking both!
Jasper, If wewe really think that you're as cool and awesome as Jeremy you're not. At least he has style, brains and love. Unlike you. Do wewe seriously care for anyone but Alice? Nope I don't think so. wewe spent about fifty years with the same clan in towns where there are a bunch of people and wewe still don't know how to control your thirst? au is it this Bella that has such a strong blood smell again? Oh how I wish wewe actually killed her. But yet again, that will prove your selfishness. wewe do not care who wewe eat as long as wewe do, and I'm not defending Bella here. wewe run away with your precious Alice. wewe return in the middle of the fight and barley even fight. Jeremy will always fight for his family, Marafiki and the girl he loves and who really deserves to be loved, Bonnie. He will always defend them and stand kwa them, unlike you.
Emmett, wewe think you're awesome as well? To the point of being as awesome as Matt? Okay, I admit I do not like Matt that much but compared to wewe he's the awesomest person on earth. At least he talks zaidi than two sentences a day. At least he actually loved Caroline and admitted that he made a mistake kwa snitching on her. I think the only reason wewe loved and the only reason wewe will ever upendo Rosalie is for her looks and only her looks. Because I have never seen any passion between wewe two, wewe maybe kissed once but that's it.
Alice, don't even try to be the head of the parties, the little hyper, talkative and cute girl because it's not working out with you. Caroline was, is and will always be awesome-er, cuter, prettier, and happier than wewe are. At least she has taste in men. Like Tyler. Your taste is awful. wewe didn't find anyone in this whole world but Jasper Hale to fit you? JASPER FREAKING HALE?!?!
Aro, wewe are also a parody of a vampire. Look at Klaus and Elijah and look at you. Pitiful, weak, lazy, shining fly. That's who wewe are. wewe make everyone do everything for you, wewe never do anything kwa yourself because you're the leader and don't want to get your hands dirty right? How stupid, how retarded?
Jane, no matter how much illusional pain your power brings to a person, wewe will never be as strong as Bonnie. She knows how to control her powers, unlike wewe who throws the whole thing unthinkingly and anyone, not mentioning that you're over a hundred years old. Bonnie is a real character, wewe are just a part of the whole Aro clan who is using wewe as his puppets to do all the dirty work. But I guess you're too blind to see that.
Regards, a Vampire Diaries fan
If wewe have any zaidi additions, feel free to tell me in the maoni and I'll add them to the letter.
Dynamite kwa Taio Cruise, Tonight kwa Enrique Iglesias, wewe and I kwa Lady Gaga, Give Me Everything Tonight kwa Pitbull an Ne-Yo, Till The World Ends kwa Britney Spears, Peacock kwa Katy Perry, Don't Stop The Party kwa The Black Eyed Peas, Disturbia kwa Rihanna, What The Hell kwa Avril Lavigne, Look At Me Now kwa Chris Brown, Lil Wayne and some other guy, Space Bound kwa Eminem
Yeah my teachers go crazy and this makala thing wont work if I don't type what I'm typing right now, I have no idea why so yeah.
Yeah my teachers go crazy and this makala thing wont work if I don't type what I'm typing right now, I have no idea why so yeah.
