Me.
I think I’m okay to talk about it now. It’s such a weird topic in today’s society and will no doubt come off as a bit of a shock to most people, but that’s cuz not too many are educated on it. I think I wanna help change that. I’m hesitant… Not to help try and change the way people see this, but taking on that main role. Not too many individuals “come out” to the internet where they have thousands watching and kusoma their stuff everyday, to share something like this.. there being a huge chance people won’t understand. Which they won’t. wewe won’t. Unless we share the same experiences… But I’m putting myself out there anyway. I want people to stop harassing and abusing people over this. I want people like myself to know they can be who they are. I used to have a separate YouTube channel dedicated to talking about this back in 2008. I thought it would help me but I really didn’t like talking about it. Still don’t. But I want to now, even though it’s frustrating to try and deal with the close-minded folks who can’t see past someone’s surface. People need to start being zaidi humane, have feelings. And stop worrying, we’re all misunderstood.
I’ve read numerous posts and whatever else people put on the internet, about me and what they THINK they know about my past life and I’d just like to say that 98% of it is inaccurate. I know they know that, but I’d just like to clear that up for you. It’s like one of those messages wewe pass along to the person inayofuata to wewe in a circle, and kwa the time it gets around to the last person, the message is all screwed up. All they’ve done is gather information they’ve read from bila mpangilio sources. They don’t know me. wewe can’t write a biography about someone without talking to them. wewe know nothing.
Honestly, the easiest way to put it, regardless of all the terms that are used today… I was born in the wrong body. I was born physically female. But that’s not who I am au who I ever was on the inside. The term clinically used is “transgender” but it’s such a mis-used word and I don’t use it to describe myself cuz I feel put into a category when life already threw me into the wrong one.
Your gender and your sex are two different things. Gender is between your ears (your brain) and sex is between your legs. When you’re being developed, your brain and your body are on the same track. wewe develop a body that would match your brain. Usually, your sex matches your gender. Usually, wewe are born happy with your aliyopewa sex because it matches your gender. Usually. Okay…picture yourself in the body of the opposite sex. Don’t think about it, picture it. That body doesn’t match up to your brain, does it? If you’re a girl, do wewe like the idea of having a deep voice, masculine features, hairy body, etc? If you’re a boy, would wewe live your life as a female? Your own set of breasts, high voice, small body, etc?
Your body is here to hold the person wewe are inside it. It doesn’t matter what changes on your body, whether it’s your hair colour, length, if wewe have a piercing, get a tattoo, whether wewe break a bone, lose a limb…. who wewe are will always be who wewe are. Your body is always changing anyway. How do wewe know if you’re a girl au a boy? wewe don’t need to look down to figure it out.
It’s not just that wewe would feel awkward, it’s the role you’re expected to play, even the name you’re given. I don’t get why people deny transgender as possible, there are lots of things that go wrong when a baby is being developed, what makes wewe think something like this can’t happen? It’s another physical birth defect. wewe can’t tell someone who they are inside. wewe aren’t them. Just like someone can’t tell wewe who wewe are. This jumps into the whole “you can’t help the way wewe are born” so I don’t understand why people think it’s hilarious to point fun at someone who’s unhappy with their body. au in any situation. And in this one… it’s not just the life I’m living but myself to the core. Unhappy. Looking into the mirror and seeing a completely different person. My whole life. How does one express themselves when they don’t even see themselves?
Most of my life I wasn’t living. I could get into details of emotion… but not right now. “Being lead through someone else’s life I was given” almost sounds like a fucking joy ride, so that waters it down way too much, but it felt like all I could do was watch. Make no sound. Just watch. When you’re born all lined up, wewe don’t know what it’s like to have to try and convince someone you’re a boy when your body says girl (or convince someone you’re a girl when your body says boy.) Consider yourself lucky. I was afraid to speak up and say “I’m a boy.” I knew how society worked, I knew it sounded foolish to say opposite of what people saw. Like pointing at Green and saying it’s Red. au better yet, pointing at pink and saying it’s Blue. wewe don’t know what it’s like to try and explain to your Mom that wewe aren’t her daughter, you’re her son. To have her look wewe in the eye and reject wewe over and over, fight with wewe about the way wewe feel. For years, having her basically tell wewe that wewe aren’t who wewe really are. Hearing the words from your Dad that he would never see wewe as his son. To have your family against wewe when it’s something wewe can’t even help. Having a bad relationship with all of them cuz they see wewe differently than wewe see yourself. It’s like a huge joke life played, except it’s not even close to being funny. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t have chose this. Who would? Who would want to feel like this? People have insecurities as it is, but mine is my entire being… insecure about the person other people in the world would see me as. Granted, I’ve done my best to present myself how I feel, and I don’t mind how I look at the moment…but underneath it all, I’m not comfortable.
But I’m also not afraid to be who I am. Which is why I’m now open about this. It’s really nobody’s business but my own, but it’s my choice to make it public for this reason…. Thousands of people like me commit suicide every mwaka because of harassment and being completely unhappy with their body.
I was pretty low and unhappy in highschool because of harassment. All I ever did was let the boy I am step out. I mean no harm to anyone, probably one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. I’m nice to everyone unless wewe give me a reason not to be. Not to slap myself with compliments but I won’t be an unnecessary jerk. I like to give and make people laugh. Just take people’s mind off everything and give them something to watch to do so. My craziness. But it’s hard to cope going somewhere that makes wewe even zaidi uncomfortable than wewe already are in your own skin… I won’t get into absolutely everything I dealt with, but I was harassed to the point I couldn’t stand going to school, left and found alternatives elsewhere. I’m sure if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here today… I couldn’t deal with everyone else’s bullshit and how they thought I should live my life on juu of having no family support at home, on juu of not being comfortable in my body…where am I supposed to feel safe?
YouTube has truly helped me feel like I can be myself and be accepted. Be crazy and not have to worry what people think because they don’t know my “history” au past to alter what they thought. This might change a little now that people will get a dip into where I come from, what I’ve gone through and what has made me the guy I am today. But hopefully this will also maybe shine a light into someone’s life and let wewe know you’re not alone, that there are options and ways to help wewe live your life fully and be who wewe are, regardless of what life presented wewe at birth. I encourage everyone to be who they are and I wanna help give people the strength to do that. Maybe this will onyesha you, truly how much I don’t care what other people think of me, not even my parents, and that I’ll continue to be me. Always. Maybe if I can do it, wewe can.
I have better family support now. I feel loved and accepted kwa each of them. Only recently 2010 did I start feeling this way though. There have been tons of events off-camera that nobody on YouTube knows about. As much as wewe saw me laughing and having a great time in my videos, the complete opposite would happen that wewe wouldn’t see. I did my best to hide the tough crap I didn’t feel like letting go on the internet. Not to say shit doesn’t happen time and time again now, but it’s hard to let the rest of the world know what I go through when I don’t like to think about it. I don’t know how kusoma this affected you, but take note that this is MY life. This is what I’ve gone through and go through… but I’m gonna see that my mashabiki and supporters are just as supportive now as before. I haven’t betrayed anyone kwa keeping this to myself before this, just like anyone wouldn’t tell the world something personal, but I’m letting wewe a lot closer than wewe were before as viewers. Because now you’ve read and know something deep. Something different. Maybe something you’ve never heard of before. But it’s there whether anyone likes it au not. Whether I like it au not…
The inayofuata time wewe think the way someone else has to live their life is amusing, put yourself in their shoes. Listen to their experiences, hear what they have to say about what they go through because everyone has struggles and some, as wewe just read, are out-of-this-world different. Situations like the one I’m in bring so many people to suicide and I want to help stop that kwa reducing the amount of hate we get over it. When people don’t understand something, they either make fun of it au get mad at it. Hopefully I can make a stand and help both sides. There’s still everything I didn’t say in this post that wewe don’t know about, but maybe I’ll share it with wewe at a later date. I’d like to think this first revealing shows some courage and bravery.
for those of wewe who better get your facts straight, my LEGAL name is Jeydon Whale. I was raised a girl, but born to be a boy. And that I am. A boy.
peace fam.
I think I’m okay to talk about it now. It’s such a weird topic in today’s society and will no doubt come off as a bit of a shock to most people, but that’s cuz not too many are educated on it. I think I wanna help change that. I’m hesitant… Not to help try and change the way people see this, but taking on that main role. Not too many individuals “come out” to the internet where they have thousands watching and kusoma their stuff everyday, to share something like this.. there being a huge chance people won’t understand. Which they won’t. wewe won’t. Unless we share the same experiences… But I’m putting myself out there anyway. I want people to stop harassing and abusing people over this. I want people like myself to know they can be who they are. I used to have a separate YouTube channel dedicated to talking about this back in 2008. I thought it would help me but I really didn’t like talking about it. Still don’t. But I want to now, even though it’s frustrating to try and deal with the close-minded folks who can’t see past someone’s surface. People need to start being zaidi humane, have feelings. And stop worrying, we’re all misunderstood.
I’ve read numerous posts and whatever else people put on the internet, about me and what they THINK they know about my past life and I’d just like to say that 98% of it is inaccurate. I know they know that, but I’d just like to clear that up for you. It’s like one of those messages wewe pass along to the person inayofuata to wewe in a circle, and kwa the time it gets around to the last person, the message is all screwed up. All they’ve done is gather information they’ve read from bila mpangilio sources. They don’t know me. wewe can’t write a biography about someone without talking to them. wewe know nothing.
Honestly, the easiest way to put it, regardless of all the terms that are used today… I was born in the wrong body. I was born physically female. But that’s not who I am au who I ever was on the inside. The term clinically used is “transgender” but it’s such a mis-used word and I don’t use it to describe myself cuz I feel put into a category when life already threw me into the wrong one.
Your gender and your sex are two different things. Gender is between your ears (your brain) and sex is between your legs. When you’re being developed, your brain and your body are on the same track. wewe develop a body that would match your brain. Usually, your sex matches your gender. Usually, wewe are born happy with your aliyopewa sex because it matches your gender. Usually. Okay…picture yourself in the body of the opposite sex. Don’t think about it, picture it. That body doesn’t match up to your brain, does it? If you’re a girl, do wewe like the idea of having a deep voice, masculine features, hairy body, etc? If you’re a boy, would wewe live your life as a female? Your own set of breasts, high voice, small body, etc?
Your body is here to hold the person wewe are inside it. It doesn’t matter what changes on your body, whether it’s your hair colour, length, if wewe have a piercing, get a tattoo, whether wewe break a bone, lose a limb…. who wewe are will always be who wewe are. Your body is always changing anyway. How do wewe know if you’re a girl au a boy? wewe don’t need to look down to figure it out.
It’s not just that wewe would feel awkward, it’s the role you’re expected to play, even the name you’re given. I don’t get why people deny transgender as possible, there are lots of things that go wrong when a baby is being developed, what makes wewe think something like this can’t happen? It’s another physical birth defect. wewe can’t tell someone who they are inside. wewe aren’t them. Just like someone can’t tell wewe who wewe are. This jumps into the whole “you can’t help the way wewe are born” so I don’t understand why people think it’s hilarious to point fun at someone who’s unhappy with their body. au in any situation. And in this one… it’s not just the life I’m living but myself to the core. Unhappy. Looking into the mirror and seeing a completely different person. My whole life. How does one express themselves when they don’t even see themselves?
Most of my life I wasn’t living. I could get into details of emotion… but not right now. “Being lead through someone else’s life I was given” almost sounds like a fucking joy ride, so that waters it down way too much, but it felt like all I could do was watch. Make no sound. Just watch. When you’re born all lined up, wewe don’t know what it’s like to have to try and convince someone you’re a boy when your body says girl (or convince someone you’re a girl when your body says boy.) Consider yourself lucky. I was afraid to speak up and say “I’m a boy.” I knew how society worked, I knew it sounded foolish to say opposite of what people saw. Like pointing at Green and saying it’s Red. au better yet, pointing at pink and saying it’s Blue. wewe don’t know what it’s like to try and explain to your Mom that wewe aren’t her daughter, you’re her son. To have her look wewe in the eye and reject wewe over and over, fight with wewe about the way wewe feel. For years, having her basically tell wewe that wewe aren’t who wewe really are. Hearing the words from your Dad that he would never see wewe as his son. To have your family against wewe when it’s something wewe can’t even help. Having a bad relationship with all of them cuz they see wewe differently than wewe see yourself. It’s like a huge joke life played, except it’s not even close to being funny. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t have chose this. Who would? Who would want to feel like this? People have insecurities as it is, but mine is my entire being… insecure about the person other people in the world would see me as. Granted, I’ve done my best to present myself how I feel, and I don’t mind how I look at the moment…but underneath it all, I’m not comfortable.
But I’m also not afraid to be who I am. Which is why I’m now open about this. It’s really nobody’s business but my own, but it’s my choice to make it public for this reason…. Thousands of people like me commit suicide every mwaka because of harassment and being completely unhappy with their body.
I was pretty low and unhappy in highschool because of harassment. All I ever did was let the boy I am step out. I mean no harm to anyone, probably one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. I’m nice to everyone unless wewe give me a reason not to be. Not to slap myself with compliments but I won’t be an unnecessary jerk. I like to give and make people laugh. Just take people’s mind off everything and give them something to watch to do so. My craziness. But it’s hard to cope going somewhere that makes wewe even zaidi uncomfortable than wewe already are in your own skin… I won’t get into absolutely everything I dealt with, but I was harassed to the point I couldn’t stand going to school, left and found alternatives elsewhere. I’m sure if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here today… I couldn’t deal with everyone else’s bullshit and how they thought I should live my life on juu of having no family support at home, on juu of not being comfortable in my body…where am I supposed to feel safe?
YouTube has truly helped me feel like I can be myself and be accepted. Be crazy and not have to worry what people think because they don’t know my “history” au past to alter what they thought. This might change a little now that people will get a dip into where I come from, what I’ve gone through and what has made me the guy I am today. But hopefully this will also maybe shine a light into someone’s life and let wewe know you’re not alone, that there are options and ways to help wewe live your life fully and be who wewe are, regardless of what life presented wewe at birth. I encourage everyone to be who they are and I wanna help give people the strength to do that. Maybe this will onyesha you, truly how much I don’t care what other people think of me, not even my parents, and that I’ll continue to be me. Always. Maybe if I can do it, wewe can.
I have better family support now. I feel loved and accepted kwa each of them. Only recently 2010 did I start feeling this way though. There have been tons of events off-camera that nobody on YouTube knows about. As much as wewe saw me laughing and having a great time in my videos, the complete opposite would happen that wewe wouldn’t see. I did my best to hide the tough crap I didn’t feel like letting go on the internet. Not to say shit doesn’t happen time and time again now, but it’s hard to let the rest of the world know what I go through when I don’t like to think about it. I don’t know how kusoma this affected you, but take note that this is MY life. This is what I’ve gone through and go through… but I’m gonna see that my mashabiki and supporters are just as supportive now as before. I haven’t betrayed anyone kwa keeping this to myself before this, just like anyone wouldn’t tell the world something personal, but I’m letting wewe a lot closer than wewe were before as viewers. Because now you’ve read and know something deep. Something different. Maybe something you’ve never heard of before. But it’s there whether anyone likes it au not. Whether I like it au not…
The inayofuata time wewe think the way someone else has to live their life is amusing, put yourself in their shoes. Listen to their experiences, hear what they have to say about what they go through because everyone has struggles and some, as wewe just read, are out-of-this-world different. Situations like the one I’m in bring so many people to suicide and I want to help stop that kwa reducing the amount of hate we get over it. When people don’t understand something, they either make fun of it au get mad at it. Hopefully I can make a stand and help both sides. There’s still everything I didn’t say in this post that wewe don’t know about, but maybe I’ll share it with wewe at a later date. I’d like to think this first revealing shows some courage and bravery.
for those of wewe who better get your facts straight, my LEGAL name is Jeydon Whale. I was raised a girl, but born to be a boy. And that I am. A boy.
peace fam.
i have forgotten the title but i guess it doesnt MATTER
i will put something in myself soon.....sooonnn
i dont own this
What. Would. Life. Be. Like.Without. Pain? Sorrow? Troubles? Hatred? Loneliness? Tears?
I see it.
I see it everyday.
Teens just like wewe and me.
Hurting from Lose of a loved one. Broken up families. Abandonment. Broken Heart.
wewe ask them how they are doing.
They answer.
Fine.
But deep down they're just dying for a someone to just reach out to them and understand them.
They ask us for help.
But what do they need help with?
They alisema they were.
Fine.
Then suddenly we begin feeling this same sickness.
And Hurt.
It's almost as if this madness.
This disease.....
Is contagious.
kwa helenbieber...<3
i will put something in myself soon.....sooonnn
i dont own this
What. Would. Life. Be. Like.Without. Pain? Sorrow? Troubles? Hatred? Loneliness? Tears?
I see it.
I see it everyday.
Teens just like wewe and me.
Hurting from Lose of a loved one. Broken up families. Abandonment. Broken Heart.
wewe ask them how they are doing.
They answer.
Fine.
But deep down they're just dying for a someone to just reach out to them and understand them.
They ask us for help.
But what do they need help with?
They alisema they were.
Fine.
Then suddenly we begin feeling this same sickness.
And Hurt.
It's almost as if this madness.
This disease.....
Is contagious.
kwa helenbieber...<3
I don't own any poems sorry
I'm just putting these up I think wewe guys would like to see...
~Shadow Drown~
Hidden among the corners
Without a sound, without a light
The shadow bleeds conniving
Extended evils of the night
***
Yowls from the city alleys
Send chills up arms, down spines
Resonation far and wide
Polluting the bark of Pines
***
Ink tears bleeding, ink tears spilling
Filling the streets, flooding our lives
The shadows watch in quiet shill
As nobody survives
***
kwa helenbieber
this is not mine
I don't own this
But helenbieber opens this so now I'm going to keep adding her poem onto my club for now on...
Breathe me a moto ,a moto of lies interwine me I know wewe despis Surround me in heat ,surround me with fear I won't budge , I'm not moving from here No matter how much wewe scream I won't leave ,because I have felt , I have seen I know how wewe are feeling, the sickness within How lonely wewe feel, in the cold full sin If wewe continue to ignore your own innocence Your moyo will start to build it's fence Slowly, blocking out the world & the truth forever Don't push me away I havent left yet..
kwa helenbieber
Your welcome
:)
I don't own this
But helenbieber opens this so now I'm going to keep adding her poem onto my club for now on...
Breathe me a moto ,a moto of lies interwine me I know wewe despis Surround me in heat ,surround me with fear I won't budge , I'm not moving from here No matter how much wewe scream I won't leave ,because I have felt , I have seen I know how wewe are feeling, the sickness within How lonely wewe feel, in the cold full sin If wewe continue to ignore your own innocence Your moyo will start to build it's fence Slowly, blocking out the world & the truth forever Don't push me away I havent left yet..
kwa helenbieber
Your welcome
:)