uandishi World

jibu swali hili

uandishi World Swali

Think my plots good?

This is my plot. I want some criticism. Any at all, besides like 'you stink' au something. here it goes.

Milgas Gonailm is an elf who lives in a forest. This forest lies in the middle of Puleaveh. The races of dwarves, dondurs (a leprechaun like creature), and elves hate each other, but have no wars because they don't want to destroy the land. Now men, who left a long time ago, have come back. Unknowingly bringing with them an ancient evil. Now Milgas must travel across Puleaveh to unite the races and fight the evil

So?
 StarPotterRings posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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uandishi World Majibu

para-scence said:
I'm sure it'd be good, wewe just have to do a lot of explaining of all that, because it's kind of confusing.
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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Okay so Puleaveh is just a land in a different world. dwarves wewe know of and elves too. Dondurs are like leprechauns only they arent like how most media portrays them now. They all hate each other because of a series of things, but they dont want to destroy their world so they signed a treaty to have no wars. Men were very reckless and had many wars. Eventually dwarves and elves drove them out and they left Puleaveh. The men found refuge in a few isles off to the northwest. Now their land was invaded kwa the Tenebris, its just pure all bad emotions. It takes a host sometimes, but when it dosent it appears as a black mist. Some men escaped and came to Puleaveh, while others were tortured to madness. Now thats pretty much when Milgas goes on his quest
StarPotterRings posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
LaughingHyena said:
The plot sounds exciting and the characters also sound good, but if I were wewe I'd make sure wewe avoid clichés at all costs, particularly if you're uandishi in the ndoto genre. Tolkien might've gotten away with having quite obvious good and bad guys back then, but there are so many dark lords and evil races in ndoto these days that it is a tad unoriginal. That's not to say wewe can't have really evil villains-you definitely can, but if I were wewe I'd make them zaidi realistic-everyone places trolls and orcs in the evil category for example, how about a good orc for a change? au an insanely evil pink unicorn? :D Spend some time on your bad guys-just because they're ugly, that might not mean they're evil. Hope this helps :)
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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As wewe might have noticed, Tolkien was my inspiration. My bad guy isnt a guy at all. Its emotion. wewe see there was a creature before all creatures. On that could create life, rise mountains and such, They were created to make the physical features of Puleaveh. One tried to create a thing that would destroy all evils. Instead it turned into evil itself. It took control of this creature and made him have a war with the others. Eventually they beat the evil and sent it to somwhere unknown. And the host was turned to stone once it left him. For all of his good emotions were driven out kwa the evil. Now when it dosent have a host its just a black mist. Now the henchmen are kinda like orcs i guess, i dont know maybe i should change it.
StarPotterRings posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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Oh I see, yeah that's a bit zaidi original. wewe could have some evil orcs, maybe most of them could be evil, what I just meant was that there are a lot of people who write stories like that and the entire race is evil, which often ends up making the story rather cliched. That's just my view though-if it's written well and the characters are identifyable, that's probably all that really matters. :)
LaughingHyena posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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since they were once men, and were mutated into the creatures ( I call them Foeda) maybe some were brave and kept a piece of their old self left deep inside. And when the time came, they made their choice. :)
StarPotterRings posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
misscrazel said:
It sounds really good, I would read it!
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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