I managed to get out of the house, with Dad and Kara thinking I was going to work. But instead, I went to Blake's house. He took me to the horse ranch again, and we rode horses. It was much easier than the first time.
After that though, I decided I should probably take my punishment. I stayed nyumbani all day, except the days I was actually working of course. Also with my punishment, I became Hera's chauffeur. I was stuck driving her to the movies, with a discount because of my employment there, to her friends' houses, and wherever else she wanted to go basically. She was so annoying. I took my punishment graciously though; I knew I deserved it.
Some days however, I'd have Blake over if everyone else was gone. Sometimes I also used this time to have something to drink. Blake did not approve of this.
"Didn't wewe learn?" he sighed. I took a sip.
"What do wewe mean?" He raised his eyebrows at me.
"You drink a lot..." I opened my mouth to object, but he stopped me. "You almost died a few weeks zamani because of it. Why don't wewe stop?" he asked. He sounded kind of annoyed. I folded my arms defensively.
"I just over did it that one time. I'm fine with it now." He stared at me for a while. "What?"
"I think wewe need to stop," he said. I pursed my lips.
"And if I don't want to?" I countered.
"I'll tell your father," he alisema quietly. How childish. Tell my dad? Still, it striked fear into my core. I frowned. "Sorry," he shrugged. "But if it helps you..." I sighed, eyeing the bottle on the counter. It had been a great release when I was with Drew, did I really truly need it now?
"I'll try," I said. Blake kissed my forehead.
"Thank you."
***
I regretted agreeing to any of this. After two weeks, I was ready to die, to put it lightly. Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic, but I felt like I was losing my mind. Dad and Kara thought I was just being moody because I was grounded for so long; they don't even know the half of it. I didn't want to have Blake over anymore. I was afraid I'd lash out at him and just upset him. I had to nearly hold my breath at work; people are so rude.
Then finally, it'd been two months, and I was free from punishment. Still, it didn't make me feel any better.
"You've been doing well," Blake observed one siku after school. I hadn't hung out with him since I decided to quit drinking, and now that I was free, he wanted to see me. He had no idea how much of a fight I was putting up.
"Mhmm..." I sighed, avoiding eye contact.
"I'm proud of you," he said, pulling me into a hug. Then something in me just snapped. I pushed him away (he didn't budge, but took a step back on his own), and put my palms over my eyes, trying to take a deep breath.
"I hate this!" I shouted. Everything I'd held inside started to just pour out. For about a half saa I ranted on and on about how it wasn't fair; and how it's too hard; it's driving me insane, and all that I felt about this crap. Then finally, I finished. I took a deep breath. Blake had been very quiet the whole time.
"Irina, I think wewe need help." I plopped down on the couch, exasperated. I groaned.
"I'm fine!" I insisted. He ran his hand through my hair calmly.
"I heard the community center offers AA meetings," he alisema quietly. I stood up and folded my arms, shaking my head.
"No. There's no way in hell I'm going there."
***
"I can't believe you're making me do this," I growled through my teeth. Blake opened the passenger door of his truck, and gestured for me to get out. I took a long sigh, then hopped out. He took my hand in his and guided me to the front door of the community center.
Inside, there were about ten other people. Most were adults, but there was a young boy there, maybe only a mwaka older than me. Blake sat with me through the whole thing. People went up to the front of the room, and basicaly talked about how they began drinking, how long they've been sober, and all about their journey through it. My moyo was racing the whole time, then my turn came up. Amazingly, the people there seemed interested in what I had to say. They offered advice and connections.
"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Blake asked as we left afterwards. I pursed my lips.
"I still didn't like it," I muttered. He hugged me.
"Well, if wewe just need to go for a while, and just keep up everything you've been doing, soon wewe won't have to go anymore." I rolled my eyes.
***
I continued going to AA meetings, and soon they weren't that bad. I went three times a week. My excuses were that Blake and I were hanging out. Dad didn't like it, but Kara thought it was fine, so they let me go. I didn't bother to tell them where I was really going; it was too long of a story, and I had just gotten un-grounded and did not want to go down that road again.
Then one day, Blake and I were at a meeting (he likes to come with), when my cellphone rang.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Irina, Kara's in the hospital. The baby's coming," Dad said. It took about a full dakika for me to process that. It felt so surreal. I hung up without a word. All of a sudden, I felt resentment towards Dad and Kara. It just reopened the wounds I had gotten when they first started dating. I shook the thoughts out of my head. No. Kara was a great person, and it wasn't fair of me to hate her for this.
"What's wrong?" Blake whispered.
"We've got to go to the hospital," I said. The drive there was fairly quiet, with a couple maswali from Blake. I provided one word answers; I just wasn't in the mood for talking. My moyo was racing.
Soon, we arrived at the hospital. We were sent to the waiting room, where we ran into Hera sitting kwa herself.
"Mom's having the baby," she said. I nodded. Hera had already adjusted, and called Dad by, well, "Dad." I still wasn't sure I could start calling Kara "Mom" yet, if not ever. We sat there in silence for a while; Blake held my hand in his comfortingly. Then about an saa later, Dad came out. He smiled softly at us.
"Come on in kids," he alisema quietly. The three of us followed him into the room. Kara laid in the hospital bed, holding something small and noisy. She smiled weakly at us. We huddled around her. to see the tiny little baby crying in her arms.
"This is your new baby sister, Desiree," she said. She looked up at me. "Do wewe want to hold her?" I never liked little kids much. They were so noisy and annoying. Of course, I'd never been around babies much, but still they didn't interest me. But the little infant she held in her arms seemed different. She was my sister. I nodded. She carefully passed the little baby into my arms. She weighed inayofuata to nothing, wrapped in a faded pink blanket with a matching hat.
As I held her in my arms, a strange feeling came over me. I felt like I knew her already. It was weird. I couldn't help but think she was the same baby that would've been born years ago. She stopped crying, and yawned, her mouth forming a tiny "o."
"Aw! She's so cute!" Hera shouted in a whisper. Desiree made some "mmmmm" noises, as if in agreement. I smiled.
She was perfect.
After that though, I decided I should probably take my punishment. I stayed nyumbani all day, except the days I was actually working of course. Also with my punishment, I became Hera's chauffeur. I was stuck driving her to the movies, with a discount because of my employment there, to her friends' houses, and wherever else she wanted to go basically. She was so annoying. I took my punishment graciously though; I knew I deserved it.
Some days however, I'd have Blake over if everyone else was gone. Sometimes I also used this time to have something to drink. Blake did not approve of this.
"Didn't wewe learn?" he sighed. I took a sip.
"What do wewe mean?" He raised his eyebrows at me.
"You drink a lot..." I opened my mouth to object, but he stopped me. "You almost died a few weeks zamani because of it. Why don't wewe stop?" he asked. He sounded kind of annoyed. I folded my arms defensively.
"I just over did it that one time. I'm fine with it now." He stared at me for a while. "What?"
"I think wewe need to stop," he said. I pursed my lips.
"And if I don't want to?" I countered.
"I'll tell your father," he alisema quietly. How childish. Tell my dad? Still, it striked fear into my core. I frowned. "Sorry," he shrugged. "But if it helps you..." I sighed, eyeing the bottle on the counter. It had been a great release when I was with Drew, did I really truly need it now?
"I'll try," I said. Blake kissed my forehead.
"Thank you."
***
I regretted agreeing to any of this. After two weeks, I was ready to die, to put it lightly. Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic, but I felt like I was losing my mind. Dad and Kara thought I was just being moody because I was grounded for so long; they don't even know the half of it. I didn't want to have Blake over anymore. I was afraid I'd lash out at him and just upset him. I had to nearly hold my breath at work; people are so rude.
Then finally, it'd been two months, and I was free from punishment. Still, it didn't make me feel any better.
"You've been doing well," Blake observed one siku after school. I hadn't hung out with him since I decided to quit drinking, and now that I was free, he wanted to see me. He had no idea how much of a fight I was putting up.
"Mhmm..." I sighed, avoiding eye contact.
"I'm proud of you," he said, pulling me into a hug. Then something in me just snapped. I pushed him away (he didn't budge, but took a step back on his own), and put my palms over my eyes, trying to take a deep breath.
"I hate this!" I shouted. Everything I'd held inside started to just pour out. For about a half saa I ranted on and on about how it wasn't fair; and how it's too hard; it's driving me insane, and all that I felt about this crap. Then finally, I finished. I took a deep breath. Blake had been very quiet the whole time.
"Irina, I think wewe need help." I plopped down on the couch, exasperated. I groaned.
"I'm fine!" I insisted. He ran his hand through my hair calmly.
"I heard the community center offers AA meetings," he alisema quietly. I stood up and folded my arms, shaking my head.
"No. There's no way in hell I'm going there."
***
"I can't believe you're making me do this," I growled through my teeth. Blake opened the passenger door of his truck, and gestured for me to get out. I took a long sigh, then hopped out. He took my hand in his and guided me to the front door of the community center.
Inside, there were about ten other people. Most were adults, but there was a young boy there, maybe only a mwaka older than me. Blake sat with me through the whole thing. People went up to the front of the room, and basicaly talked about how they began drinking, how long they've been sober, and all about their journey through it. My moyo was racing the whole time, then my turn came up. Amazingly, the people there seemed interested in what I had to say. They offered advice and connections.
"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Blake asked as we left afterwards. I pursed my lips.
"I still didn't like it," I muttered. He hugged me.
"Well, if wewe just need to go for a while, and just keep up everything you've been doing, soon wewe won't have to go anymore." I rolled my eyes.
***
I continued going to AA meetings, and soon they weren't that bad. I went three times a week. My excuses were that Blake and I were hanging out. Dad didn't like it, but Kara thought it was fine, so they let me go. I didn't bother to tell them where I was really going; it was too long of a story, and I had just gotten un-grounded and did not want to go down that road again.
Then one day, Blake and I were at a meeting (he likes to come with), when my cellphone rang.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Irina, Kara's in the hospital. The baby's coming," Dad said. It took about a full dakika for me to process that. It felt so surreal. I hung up without a word. All of a sudden, I felt resentment towards Dad and Kara. It just reopened the wounds I had gotten when they first started dating. I shook the thoughts out of my head. No. Kara was a great person, and it wasn't fair of me to hate her for this.
"What's wrong?" Blake whispered.
"We've got to go to the hospital," I said. The drive there was fairly quiet, with a couple maswali from Blake. I provided one word answers; I just wasn't in the mood for talking. My moyo was racing.
Soon, we arrived at the hospital. We were sent to the waiting room, where we ran into Hera sitting kwa herself.
"Mom's having the baby," she said. I nodded. Hera had already adjusted, and called Dad by, well, "Dad." I still wasn't sure I could start calling Kara "Mom" yet, if not ever. We sat there in silence for a while; Blake held my hand in his comfortingly. Then about an saa later, Dad came out. He smiled softly at us.
"Come on in kids," he alisema quietly. The three of us followed him into the room. Kara laid in the hospital bed, holding something small and noisy. She smiled weakly at us. We huddled around her. to see the tiny little baby crying in her arms.
"This is your new baby sister, Desiree," she said. She looked up at me. "Do wewe want to hold her?" I never liked little kids much. They were so noisy and annoying. Of course, I'd never been around babies much, but still they didn't interest me. But the little infant she held in her arms seemed different. She was my sister. I nodded. She carefully passed the little baby into my arms. She weighed inayofuata to nothing, wrapped in a faded pink blanket with a matching hat.
As I held her in my arms, a strange feeling came over me. I felt like I knew her already. It was weird. I couldn't help but think she was the same baby that would've been born years ago. She stopped crying, and yawned, her mouth forming a tiny "o."
"Aw! She's so cute!" Hera shouted in a whisper. Desiree made some "mmmmm" noises, as if in agreement. I smiled.
She was perfect.
