Inspired kwa the song, "Looking Glass" kwa The Birthday Massacre.
"Waiting as I'm wanting to. Speaking as I'm spoken to. Changing to your point of view. I fade as I follow you. A boyish notion of false emotion. These words are spoken despite my love. A fool's devotion was set in motion. My eyes are open now."
I'd thought there was nothing wrong.
"He's really sweet, I promise," I'd said. They just didn't know him like I did. It made me angry. He really wasn't bad; just some anger management problems. That was no reason to be afraid.
Now I wasn't so sure.
"Look at me when I talk to you," he snapped. I looked up, to see him standing in front of me, arms behind him like a drill sergeant. "You upendo me, don't you?" My moyo swelled up. I did. Now... Now I wasn't so sure.
"Yes, sir," I breathed. He smiled.
"Good," he said. He went to my closet, and pushed the racks aside, looking at each one. "Where this," he said, throwing a cream sweater at me. He wanted me to be completely covered all the time now, for two reasons. One, he didn't want anyone looking at me anymore. Two, he needed to hide the evidence of his anger. "Let's go," he alisema after I'd changed. He held out his hand, and I took it. His grip was unnerving, but I didn't try to fight it.
We went to the party. He stopped just before he was about to knock. He wrinkled his nose in disgust at me.
"Would wewe smile?" he sneered. I swallowed the pain, and managed to pull the corner of my mouth up into a grin. My lips tingled. It hurt to smile with him. He rolled his eyes and knocked, and we were let in.
We talked in a group of friends... Kind of.
"Say this, say that," he'd whisper in my ear when they wouldn't notice. He was like a ventriloquist, and I was his dummy. That's all I was now. I wasn't myself. I was his own personal creation; he molded me into this like dough. "Excuse me," he smiled, standing up. "Don't say a word," he growled into my ear as he left. The other girls smiled.
"He's so sweet," they said. Now they'd "gotten to know him," and they thought he was the greatest guy on the planet. "You were right; sorry we didn't believe you."
I smiled weakly.
He came back a while later, glaring at me from the corner of his eye.
"Miss me?" he leaned over and kissed my cheek. It stung like a wasp sting, and I recoiled from the burn. Venom boiled in my mouth. His eyes widened in anger. "Oh, you," he smiled suddenly, and hugged me. "Don't do that again," he snarled in my ear. I was frozen from his touch; and not in a good way.
After the party, we were supposed to go home. But instead, he took me to the forest. I wanted to ask him where we were going, but I couldn't. I'm not allowed to speak out of turn.
"Come with me," he sighed. I followed him outside, even though my instincts were screaming at me that this was not good, and I should run. We walked about twenty feet into the forest. The only way I could see was from the moonlight, peeking in through the branches.
I heard a click, and a quick swiping sound. He held something up, but I couldn't tell what it was. All I knew was that it shined as the moonlight glimmered off of it. "What're you---" my sentence was cut off with a piercing scream. Something incredibly sharp sliced away into my skin, into my stomach. His arms were on me, and he pulled out the object. I let out another cry, from both pain and relief to have the blade out of me.
He seemed confused. He put his arms around me, which at first I thought he was going to hug me, and say he was sorry. Maybe it was his last act of violence, and he just had to get it all out. I held my wound, the blood seeping through my fingers.
But he wasn't done yet.
The kisu stabbed through my back now, and I couldn't feel my legs. I fell to the ground, gripping the earth with my bloody hands, trying to pull myself away from him. He stabbed the back of my knee now. I could only tell because I had looked. I felt nothing, which I was thankful for. zaidi blood spurted out, staining the grass.
"Do wewe still upendo me?" he alisema through his teeth. I couldn't see him anymore. Even now, I was afraid of upsetting him; like he could do worse.
"Yes sir," I rasped. One last stab to the heart. I didn't even scream this time. I heard his footsteps fade into the distance, leaving me to die alone. Even here, in my last dying moments, I almost smiled.
I was free.
"It's a glass cage so I can't pretend. wewe hide beneath the physical. I see it coming. But I can't defend. wewe cut so deep. My belief is gone. My belief is gone. My belief is..."
"Waiting as I'm wanting to. Speaking as I'm spoken to. Changing to your point of view. I fade as I follow you. A boyish notion of false emotion. These words are spoken despite my love. A fool's devotion was set in motion. My eyes are open now."
I'd thought there was nothing wrong.
"He's really sweet, I promise," I'd said. They just didn't know him like I did. It made me angry. He really wasn't bad; just some anger management problems. That was no reason to be afraid.
Now I wasn't so sure.
"Look at me when I talk to you," he snapped. I looked up, to see him standing in front of me, arms behind him like a drill sergeant. "You upendo me, don't you?" My moyo swelled up. I did. Now... Now I wasn't so sure.
"Yes, sir," I breathed. He smiled.
"Good," he said. He went to my closet, and pushed the racks aside, looking at each one. "Where this," he said, throwing a cream sweater at me. He wanted me to be completely covered all the time now, for two reasons. One, he didn't want anyone looking at me anymore. Two, he needed to hide the evidence of his anger. "Let's go," he alisema after I'd changed. He held out his hand, and I took it. His grip was unnerving, but I didn't try to fight it.
We went to the party. He stopped just before he was about to knock. He wrinkled his nose in disgust at me.
"Would wewe smile?" he sneered. I swallowed the pain, and managed to pull the corner of my mouth up into a grin. My lips tingled. It hurt to smile with him. He rolled his eyes and knocked, and we were let in.
We talked in a group of friends... Kind of.
"Say this, say that," he'd whisper in my ear when they wouldn't notice. He was like a ventriloquist, and I was his dummy. That's all I was now. I wasn't myself. I was his own personal creation; he molded me into this like dough. "Excuse me," he smiled, standing up. "Don't say a word," he growled into my ear as he left. The other girls smiled.
"He's so sweet," they said. Now they'd "gotten to know him," and they thought he was the greatest guy on the planet. "You were right; sorry we didn't believe you."
I smiled weakly.
He came back a while later, glaring at me from the corner of his eye.
"Miss me?" he leaned over and kissed my cheek. It stung like a wasp sting, and I recoiled from the burn. Venom boiled in my mouth. His eyes widened in anger. "Oh, you," he smiled suddenly, and hugged me. "Don't do that again," he snarled in my ear. I was frozen from his touch; and not in a good way.
After the party, we were supposed to go home. But instead, he took me to the forest. I wanted to ask him where we were going, but I couldn't. I'm not allowed to speak out of turn.
"Come with me," he sighed. I followed him outside, even though my instincts were screaming at me that this was not good, and I should run. We walked about twenty feet into the forest. The only way I could see was from the moonlight, peeking in through the branches.
I heard a click, and a quick swiping sound. He held something up, but I couldn't tell what it was. All I knew was that it shined as the moonlight glimmered off of it. "What're you---" my sentence was cut off with a piercing scream. Something incredibly sharp sliced away into my skin, into my stomach. His arms were on me, and he pulled out the object. I let out another cry, from both pain and relief to have the blade out of me.
He seemed confused. He put his arms around me, which at first I thought he was going to hug me, and say he was sorry. Maybe it was his last act of violence, and he just had to get it all out. I held my wound, the blood seeping through my fingers.
But he wasn't done yet.
The kisu stabbed through my back now, and I couldn't feel my legs. I fell to the ground, gripping the earth with my bloody hands, trying to pull myself away from him. He stabbed the back of my knee now. I could only tell because I had looked. I felt nothing, which I was thankful for. zaidi blood spurted out, staining the grass.
"Do wewe still upendo me?" he alisema through his teeth. I couldn't see him anymore. Even now, I was afraid of upsetting him; like he could do worse.
"Yes sir," I rasped. One last stab to the heart. I didn't even scream this time. I heard his footsteps fade into the distance, leaving me to die alone. Even here, in my last dying moments, I almost smiled.
I was free.
"It's a glass cage so I can't pretend. wewe hide beneath the physical. I see it coming. But I can't defend. wewe cut so deep. My belief is gone. My belief is gone. My belief is..."
It was the inayofuata day. I got dressed nervously, had Bruno thought I was a helper? I put on a blue shati that alisema "Do I Look Like I Care?" and skinny jeans. I ran outside to look for the bus, it wasn't there. I waited and waited, but it never came! I ran to school. I finally got to school no one was in the halls. I realized everyone was in class. I wrote a fake note in cursive the best I could. When I walked into class I gave the teacher the note. She read happily. Not looking angry at all, she alisema "Oh! I didn't give wewe a note. It was saying the bus driver was sick and there were no subs availble. Sorry!" I replied with " It's fine"