Why does life seem to be getting zaidi and zaidi confusing? People always told me, "You will understand once wewe grow up." Now, I do not agree in any way with those people. Breakups, your friend dumping you, getting in trouble, those are all things that happen basically everyday today. Before, when I was a little girl, people always fussed over me, took care of me, were Marafiki with me forever, it seemed. What happened? Why is this happening to me? I want to ask that. But no one seems to know the answer. Especially when we see fights out, we know that fog is drifting into our minds. I don't like this at all. I want the fog to lift. But it doesn't seem to be happening...not today, au ever. Everything seems to be staying the way it is right now: confusing, awkward, new to us. I really hope that one siku something will change. But...for now, the future isn't bright. Not in any way I see it.
Heyy there, I know in my last entry I alisema I would write on Friday- but I didn't. Theres actually loads of things that have happened to me in the last few days/week. Im not gonna tell wewe though! I had no maoni on the last entry but as soon as I get some feedback im gonna start uandishi to wewe again- Im a very busy person. I go to school, I play football (soccer-(Im english)-) along with my uandishi I also sing alot so I have many things to do/practice. Go look for my last entry and wewe will understand partly why im jabbering on :) upendo to the people of the earth~ Cait xxx- 20th September 2011
I slammed the car door shut, and faced the school.
"Have a good siku sweetie," Mom said, somewhat hopefully from the drivers seat. Just the words made me want to ball up and cry. She drove away, leaving me in the dust. I would not survive this day.
Not that I deserve to.
I clutched my vitabu to my chest, and tried to keep my eyes fixed on the ground. But I still felt their eyes on me.
"Bitch," they muttered.
"She deserves to die," others said. Didn't they know I want to? Didn't they know how much strength it took to keep breathing? And when I did, it was the everlasting pain that nearly brought me to my death. But I could only hope.
But they didn't know this. They just knew it was my fault. And it was. It was all my fault for what had happened.
And I'd live with this guilt till I die.
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Please let me know if I should continue this; I don't know if I should.
"Have a good siku sweetie," Mom said, somewhat hopefully from the drivers seat. Just the words made me want to ball up and cry. She drove away, leaving me in the dust. I would not survive this day.
Not that I deserve to.
I clutched my vitabu to my chest, and tried to keep my eyes fixed on the ground. But I still felt their eyes on me.
"Bitch," they muttered.
"She deserves to die," others said. Didn't they know I want to? Didn't they know how much strength it took to keep breathing? And when I did, it was the everlasting pain that nearly brought me to my death. But I could only hope.
But they didn't know this. They just knew it was my fault. And it was. It was all my fault for what had happened.
And I'd live with this guilt till I die.
*****************************
Please let me know if I should continue this; I don't know if I should.
Memories and grief of my heart
Are still buried somewhere
I can’t cry neither I can freely laugh
What if they don’t know my past
I have not forget it yet
I still remember the same Zean with the same Zeal
But not in flashes neither in cars
In backstage of life with trembling hunger
Hunger in eyes and lips dry
No money in pocket but Zeal on shoulder
With memories of ‘Love’ and burning heart
Now my clothes are branded
And my shoes are best, pocket heavy with dollars
But with this all my moyo is all heavy
With secrets of past
Pleasures can bury them but cannot vanish
I still look mbele to death
When all my secrets will disappear, my pain will end
Also with my life..end will come to my BAD MEMORIES.
Are still buried somewhere
I can’t cry neither I can freely laugh
What if they don’t know my past
I have not forget it yet
I still remember the same Zean with the same Zeal
But not in flashes neither in cars
In backstage of life with trembling hunger
Hunger in eyes and lips dry
No money in pocket but Zeal on shoulder
With memories of ‘Love’ and burning heart
Now my clothes are branded
And my shoes are best, pocket heavy with dollars
But with this all my moyo is all heavy
With secrets of past
Pleasures can bury them but cannot vanish
I still look mbele to death
When all my secrets will disappear, my pain will end
Also with my life..end will come to my BAD MEMORIES.