The Last Goodbye
I am standing on my tiptoes with my arms around him and he is bending down so that I can reach. There are tears of joy, and cheering. It is too loud to hear even my own thoughts but somehow I still manage to hear the sound of my moyo in my ears as I cling to my friend. After a long moment, we both pull back slightly and my hands slide over the strange fabric of his bright blue graduation gown. I look up at him knowing this could be the last times I see my most treasured friends. His hand leaves my shoulder, and he places it lightly on my face. My moyo nearly stops as something in his face changes. Every nerve in my body is on edge. Why is he doing this to me? I know he doesn’t feel the same he has never even considered it. Still he slides his hand slowly mbele and down until his thumb is touching the corner of my mouth. The tip of his finger traces the line of my bottom lip until it reaches the center of my lips and rests there. He isn’t looking at my eyes he is looking at his hand as he slowly pulls his thumb lower and the pressure causes my lips to separate. I let out a hot breath and the air hits his skin, and he lowers his thumb and the rest of his fingers songesha until he is holding my face kwa the chin. I have been waiting for this moment for so long. I have been waiting for him to stop seeing me as his young freshman friend that he watched graduate high school and finish the first mwaka of college. He is finally seeing me, a young woman. He really is the perfect guy. He never thought of me in a degrading way, he was always gentle, kind, and wise. He never saw how much harder that made it for me to resist, and now he is looking at me and I know he is truly seeing me for the first time. He is leaning toward me, it’s a scene I’ve played in my head so many times it hurts, and all I can think is:
“Don’t.”
I whisper the word with closed eyes and pull away. He lets go and both our arms fall to our sides. The confusion in his light brown eyes is clear, but I don’t know if it is caused kwa my words, au kwa his sudden realization that I’m not a little kid anymore but I explain anyway.
“Jonathan, this isn’t you, and I can’t do this. As much as I would upendo to just stand here and let this happen—let wewe kiss me—and forget that wewe are leaving soon, forget that I may not ever see wewe again after this summer, forget that afterwards wewe will regret it with all your heart, and then have to break mine, I can’t. But if wewe do, if wewe can see us. If wewe think wewe could upendo me, for zaidi than just today then do it. Kiss me. But unless wewe have thought about it, unless wewe have weighed the pros and cons, unless wewe see the possibility for a real relationship here—don’t. Unless wewe know in your moyo that this isn't just something wewe will feel now and regret later, then please, don’t.”
A tear rolls down my face and zaidi swim in my eyes blurring my vision and I can hardly see his face. In that mgawanyiko, baidisha second—my taste of eternity—it felt as though all the hurt in the world was mine to bear. The moment stretched forever, I was conscious of ever heartbeat that didn’t happen, while I waited for my dreams to shatter au come true. Then I blinked, and the rest of the tears came flooding down clearing off my eyes so I can see him. He is just staring and thinking. He doesn’t songesha and I don’t breathe. Then his gaze leaves the floor, and he is looking in my eyes again. For the sekunde time in all the years that I’ve known him he touches my face and pulls me close, but his lips instead of meeting mine draw close to my ear, and in a chocked voice he whispers:
“I’m sorry.”
I am standing on my tiptoes with my arms around him and he is bending down so that I can reach. There are tears of joy, and cheering. It is too loud to hear even my own thoughts but somehow I still manage to hear the sound of my moyo in my ears as I cling to my friend. After a long moment, we both pull back slightly and my hands slide over the strange fabric of his bright blue graduation gown. I look up at him knowing this could be the last times I see my most treasured friends. His hand leaves my shoulder, and he places it lightly on my face. My moyo nearly stops as something in his face changes. Every nerve in my body is on edge. Why is he doing this to me? I know he doesn’t feel the same he has never even considered it. Still he slides his hand slowly mbele and down until his thumb is touching the corner of my mouth. The tip of his finger traces the line of my bottom lip until it reaches the center of my lips and rests there. He isn’t looking at my eyes he is looking at his hand as he slowly pulls his thumb lower and the pressure causes my lips to separate. I let out a hot breath and the air hits his skin, and he lowers his thumb and the rest of his fingers songesha until he is holding my face kwa the chin. I have been waiting for this moment for so long. I have been waiting for him to stop seeing me as his young freshman friend that he watched graduate high school and finish the first mwaka of college. He is finally seeing me, a young woman. He really is the perfect guy. He never thought of me in a degrading way, he was always gentle, kind, and wise. He never saw how much harder that made it for me to resist, and now he is looking at me and I know he is truly seeing me for the first time. He is leaning toward me, it’s a scene I’ve played in my head so many times it hurts, and all I can think is:
“Don’t.”
I whisper the word with closed eyes and pull away. He lets go and both our arms fall to our sides. The confusion in his light brown eyes is clear, but I don’t know if it is caused kwa my words, au kwa his sudden realization that I’m not a little kid anymore but I explain anyway.
“Jonathan, this isn’t you, and I can’t do this. As much as I would upendo to just stand here and let this happen—let wewe kiss me—and forget that wewe are leaving soon, forget that I may not ever see wewe again after this summer, forget that afterwards wewe will regret it with all your heart, and then have to break mine, I can’t. But if wewe do, if wewe can see us. If wewe think wewe could upendo me, for zaidi than just today then do it. Kiss me. But unless wewe have thought about it, unless wewe have weighed the pros and cons, unless wewe see the possibility for a real relationship here—don’t. Unless wewe know in your moyo that this isn't just something wewe will feel now and regret later, then please, don’t.”
A tear rolls down my face and zaidi swim in my eyes blurring my vision and I can hardly see his face. In that mgawanyiko, baidisha second—my taste of eternity—it felt as though all the hurt in the world was mine to bear. The moment stretched forever, I was conscious of ever heartbeat that didn’t happen, while I waited for my dreams to shatter au come true. Then I blinked, and the rest of the tears came flooding down clearing off my eyes so I can see him. He is just staring and thinking. He doesn’t songesha and I don’t breathe. Then his gaze leaves the floor, and he is looking in my eyes again. For the sekunde time in all the years that I’ve known him he touches my face and pulls me close, but his lips instead of meeting mine draw close to my ear, and in a chocked voice he whispers:
“I’m sorry.”
The sun is up in the sky
i watch it in the big blue ksky
And i ask myslef,"why?"
i stare at the ceiling.
then i get a strange felling.
and this felling is still being.
and then i ask,"why?"
What do i see in those eyes?
what do i see in you?
even thought i still despise.
i always ask myslef,"why?"
ask me that question,"why?"
i say i dont know
they tell me dont lie
so then i speak th truth.
i know that in my heart
i will always upendo you
your eyes that shine like he sun
being with wewe is always fun
one siku i will tell you,hun
that wewe are the only one
sorry,not all the words rhyme.im not the best at making poems,but i wanted to share it with wewe anyways
i watch it in the big blue ksky
And i ask myslef,"why?"
i stare at the ceiling.
then i get a strange felling.
and this felling is still being.
and then i ask,"why?"
What do i see in those eyes?
what do i see in you?
even thought i still despise.
i always ask myslef,"why?"
ask me that question,"why?"
i say i dont know
they tell me dont lie
so then i speak th truth.
i know that in my heart
i will always upendo you
your eyes that shine like he sun
being with wewe is always fun
one siku i will tell you,hun
that wewe are the only one
sorry,not all the words rhyme.im not the best at making poems,but i wanted to share it with wewe anyways
"It was an early March morning, so early that the sky still had streaks of orange and pink in it."
this is aqua
ON STORMY CLOUDS
I’VE SEEN HIM SIT
THIS DARK Angel FAIR
WITH FOLDED AND SHIMMERING
GOSSAMER WINGS
AND MOON BEAMS IN HIS HAIR
WITH BURNING EYES
TO EARTH HE SLIDES
SEEKING TO FEEL THE GROUND
THEN SPREAD HIS
RAVEN FEATHERED WINGS
CASTING HIS MAGICK SHADOW ‘ROUND
THIS ANGELS TOUCH
IS A COMFORTS SONG
SOFT AS A VELVET CLOAK
AND WHEN HE REACHES
TO RIGHT THE WRONG
HIS WORDS ARE FEELINGS SPOKE
ON HOOF AND WING, I WATCHED HIM SAIL
MY DARK Angel FAIR
TO SOME ARCANE ABODE
WE KNOW NOT WHERE
TILL HIS inayofuata ASSIGNMENT
AND THE FUTURE HAS BEEN FORETOLD
FOR THE LAST FLIGHT
THIS DARK Angel TAKES
IS A PIED-PIPERS GATHERING
FOR ALL THE SOULS HE’S TOUCHED
LISTENING TO THE SHADOWY
SONGS THEY’LL NOW SING
I’VE SEEN HIM SIT
THIS DARK Angel FAIR
WITH FOLDED AND SHIMMERING
GOSSAMER WINGS
AND MOON BEAMS IN HIS HAIR
WITH BURNING EYES
TO EARTH HE SLIDES
SEEKING TO FEEL THE GROUND
THEN SPREAD HIS
RAVEN FEATHERED WINGS
CASTING HIS MAGICK SHADOW ‘ROUND
THIS ANGELS TOUCH
IS A COMFORTS SONG
SOFT AS A VELVET CLOAK
AND WHEN HE REACHES
TO RIGHT THE WRONG
HIS WORDS ARE FEELINGS SPOKE
ON HOOF AND WING, I WATCHED HIM SAIL
MY DARK Angel FAIR
TO SOME ARCANE ABODE
WE KNOW NOT WHERE
TILL HIS inayofuata ASSIGNMENT
AND THE FUTURE HAS BEEN FORETOLD
FOR THE LAST FLIGHT
THIS DARK Angel TAKES
IS A PIED-PIPERS GATHERING
FOR ALL THE SOULS HE’S TOUCHED
LISTENING TO THE SHADOWY
SONGS THEY’LL NOW SING
19 December
It's been almost a mwaka since Freak died. For a while, people always used to say to me, "I'm sorry." I hated that. I yelled at them, "Feel sorry for Freak! I'm still alive!"
They shouldn't feel sorry for me. Freak taught me what it meant to walk tall. He tought me that remembering is only an invention of the mind, and if wewe try hard enough, wewe can remember anything. I try to remember everything Freak told me; and sometimes, it works. Then it slips away.
For a while after Freak died, I went back to being the critter hiding out in Down Under. Then one day, it hit me, and hard. If I had died, I wouldn't want Freak to do what I was doing. I would want him to continue Freak The Mighty.
And that made all the difference.
I try to make Freak proud; maybe I'm even succeeding. I just know that Freak changed the way I saw things, and I owe him that much; to keep Freak The Mighty alive.
-Max-
It's been almost a mwaka since Freak died. For a while, people always used to say to me, "I'm sorry." I hated that. I yelled at them, "Feel sorry for Freak! I'm still alive!"
They shouldn't feel sorry for me. Freak taught me what it meant to walk tall. He tought me that remembering is only an invention of the mind, and if wewe try hard enough, wewe can remember anything. I try to remember everything Freak told me; and sometimes, it works. Then it slips away.
For a while after Freak died, I went back to being the critter hiding out in Down Under. Then one day, it hit me, and hard. If I had died, I wouldn't want Freak to do what I was doing. I would want him to continue Freak The Mighty.
And that made all the difference.
I try to make Freak proud; maybe I'm even succeeding. I just know that Freak changed the way I saw things, and I owe him that much; to keep Freak The Mighty alive.
-Max-
This mermaid spell could work so be careful.you will need a cup of water and a lot of salt and also a necklace/bracelet the insructions are wewe are going to put the salt in to the cup of water and wewe put the necklace/bracelet in to the salty water and say this spell: mermaids mermaids here my plea I want a Mermaid tail and powers.mermaids mermaids this is my plea so make it come true. After wewe say the say the spell wewe put on the necklace/bracelet and thats it. But wewe don't get to choose your mermaid tail and powers.
The Cover
